Warning: sensitive content ahead that might be triggering. If you're uncomfortable, please skip otherwise read at your own risk

Hailey

"He's with Trish." I muttered, my chest deflating as I tore my gaze away, when she reached out flirtly to cuddle and brushed his hair. I struggled a lot not to let it bother me; but it didn't sit me well that we got into a fight -or whatever that was- and next I saw him he was with Trish, his perfect ex who's make it perfectly obvious she wanted him back. And he was letting her get flirty.

It stung my heart. How was I supposed to take that?

Kimberly looked over at them with a frown but I refused to bring my gaze there again. I didn't want to see more of their touchy moment than what I already had.

"She's pathetic." Kimmy rolled her eyes turning back to the bar. "And Nate's a jerk, but what's new here? Why did you guys even fight about?"

The knot in my throat grew larger. There was no way I was telling her about out little dispute over her and Seth. "Something stupid... it wasn't supposed to escalate like that but apparently we agreed to disagree."

She scoffed. "Whatever it was, I'm sure you'll get over it. You guys are too disgustingly cute."

"Don't you see what's going on over there?"

"Yeap. He's already pushed her away."

"Really?" I gripped on the hem of the bar, fighting back the urge to turn around and see it for myself. Kimberly smirked knowingly at me, reading right through my pretend calmness.

"I'll be your eyes, don't worry."

I smiled back. There was something about Kimmy, this side she didn't let much people see where she was caring and this feeling of togetherness she help building... It was sad she didn't let it show out for everyone, but now that we'd officially admitted being friends and not just acquaintances it felt like she was more comfortable letting it show. We'd been together for the whole afternoon and she was so cool. Once you get pass the bitch phase, and the cold phase, and the I hate you phase; Kimmy was actually quite welcoming in her own way.

"Here." the barman stopped before us as we were having another fit of laugher, sliding one elegant cup towards Kimmy, one of those with a little unbrella and all. "From the gentleman over there."

"Who?" but as we turned to look there was no one standing out the crowd, looking this way or remotedly interested in seeing their drink being handed.

The barman furrowed his brows. "He must had left... maybe he's shy? He was young, blonde hair? Dark clothes?" he kept describing as if that would make us realize who it was.

"Alright." Kimberly took the cup gently, bringing it closer and freeing the poor man of this. "Thanks."

He nooded and moved to the next costumer.

"Well," I smiled as I saw her eying the drink cautiously. "Looks like you got a secret admirer."

"What a bless." she snorted, sliding it to me instead. "Do you want this? I can't seem to keep anything down lately." I took her glass with a jab of concern.

"Have you had something before coming?" her pointed glared was answer enough. Her ears burned in shame tho and I knew she was once more hiding in her vexation any other feeling.

"Don't start. You were there when you force that dinner down my throat."

"Okay; one, I didn't force it down you're throat, and two, I was gone most of the dinner as you know, so you could had fooled me." Ted'd called me half way through with an emergency and kept me occupied for most of it. When I came back Kimmy's plate was gone but for all I know she could had tricked me.

"Whatever, Gracie." she rolled her eyes and I rolled mine back, amusing her as I took in a sip of the drink. Some kind of whisky, I faintly recognized the taste from that time when we stole one bottle from Vickie's parent's secret cabinet.

"It's good." I commented with another sip, shaking off my mind the recent unsettleness and instead focused on our previous conversation. "So, here's the thing."

"Do tell."

"If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life, what would that be?"

She scoffed, glancing casually around. "Well, definitely not this one." I laughed too barely hearing distinctibly the lyrics of the song. "Gosh, who even chose the playlist?"

"No idea."

"Worst DJ ever. On a scale of one to ten, I gave them -3." she shook her head with a giggle. "I don't know... personally I really like Lana del Rey. Young and beautiful? I'd easily listen to it for the rest of my life."

I got to supress a whine at how fitting that song was considering everything... I took in another sip, feeling it's coldness dipped to my stomach, spreading a weird tingling down my muscles and spine. It was chilling, massaging my being and leaving me light-headed.

"I like that song. It's melancholic, tho."

"Yeah, I know. What about you?"

"Someone you loved."

"Really?" she chuckled. "Wow, that's oddly depressing, Gracie."

"I know..." I glanced down, giggling too as this daze settle in my brain too. Wow. I rose my hand, feeling the tips of my fingers getting numb. "On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate me?"

"What?" her head snapped at me, tilting curiously. "What do you mean 'you'?"

"Like, you think I pressed to much?" Okay I didn't know where this was coming from but I took another sip, getting high in that feeling. "Nate said I'm meddling in stuff... and I'm always pushing."

"Pushing?"

I hummed, my limbs feeling heavy and slow all of the sudden and I leaned on the bar adjusting on the stool as she did the same, leaning closer. "He's so sweet, you know? Like the sweetest, but we don't always see things the same and I kinda feel like I'm imposing things on him?"

"Things like what?"

"Like... like dating, and my own pace, and now he's... He got mad I always meddle in things."

"Gracie, come on. Nate's crazy for you."

"Is he?" I propped my elbow to rest on the bar but calculated wrong and it slipped, making the world spun and I almost stumbled off the stool. Whoa. Kimmy frowned my way, noticing something was off too.

"Are you okay?"

Was I? I could barely concentrate with the buzzing numbing every inch of my body. I was too hot, the room spun like an spiral around us, making me tispy. "I... Need to go to the bathroom."

"Do you want me to come with?"

I shook my head, sliding carefully to the ground and feeling my knees weak. What? I literally had, what? half of the glass? "Just... it'll be a moment."

"You don't look well, come on." she slid off too, hooking her arm in mine and guided us through the crowd down the hallway that lead to the bathrooms. The music wasn't as bashing here but my head still felt too dizzy. I couldn't understand it. I'd barely take a few sips. I'd never got drunk this fast. But again, this didn't felt drunk... it felt like sudden tiredness...

The bathroom was empty as we entered it, it was narrow and not the cleanest. The mirror was disgusting and there were puddles in the foor. Ew.

I reached for the door, barely standing, as Kimmy let go of me and went for the tap, coming back to brush her fresh hand on my nape. It helped, lighty, but as soon as it was gone all numbness overpowered me again.

"Fuck, are you sick? You look pale." Once more she let me go to wet her hand more and searched for the tissue dispenser, saying something else but I didn't hear her anymore.

As soon as her back was towards me a hand was pressed onto my mouth from behind me and an arm held me to someone, overpowered as they dragged me backward and into the hallway while Kimmy kept babbling and before she turned to see me gone. The fright lasted a few seconds to register, everything slower than usual, and when I was able to process my surrowndings again I was pushed out the backdoor of the other end of that hallway.

I struggled to focus but it was hard with that soffocating daze and the darkness in this back, lonely alley. Chills erupted everywhere at th icy air that hit me like a brick wall as soon as they released me and I almost fell.

There was a laugh somewhere behind me. "Too fucking easy. "

"Yeah, whatever. Let's get over with this."

"What? Afraid?" that voice... one of the two figures stepped closer and tipped my chin upwards so I meet those freezing, disturbing blue eyes. "Remember me?"

"Ryan." my voice came out pitiful too and his smirk sent warning of danger like a neon light but I was still thrown off by this awkward, unconvinient weakness as he let his eyes scanned me up and down, amused.

"Don't tell me you've taken her drink." I blinked, barely making sense of his words but not totally missing the disgusting once over and smirk. "You'll work too."

Work? Her drink? But the world only bend, stretching as if made of jelly and I almost loose my feet, reaching out to hold on the wall for support. What the hell? It wasn't enough and I might as well had fallen but they held me up so I helplessly found myself leaning on them for balance but it didn't felt good, and my head just keep feeling like it weight thousands and thousands of pounds. What the hell was going on?

"What are you waiting for?"

"I don't know, man, this is too fucked up..."

I frowned, trying to peel my lids open but they felt too heavy. The chest under my cheek rumbled with dark chuckles and the sound chilled me to the core. "Just take the picture already."

To make things more worthy of nightmare's material, I felt one of the arms holding me shifting so it tugged the collar of my jacket and I panicked, as the cold air brushed against my collarbone. I held on his wrist but I was weak, too weak... "Stop."

"Okay, that's it." the other guy rushed but the tugging on my jacket remained and it slid off my shoulder as my strength remained too pitiful to push them away. "Ryan, come on. You said one picture. Harmless fun."

"It's still harmless."

"But-"

"Look, if you can't handle it fucking go. I'll find you later."

He held Ryan's gaze, balancing his options and for a second I thought he would actually do something, helped someway... but I should had known better of someone who'd already agreed to take some disturbing picture. His jaw set but ended glaring away. "Whatever."

"No..." It came out too weak, why was I this mess? I couldn't understand it. And now my lame intent of protest fell to deaf ears as the other guy didn't even look at me. He turned and left, sliding in the corridor once more and leaving me alone out there to freak out on my own with Ryan.

"Sh, relax." his body pinned me against the wall with such force that it almost cut off the circulation in my legs. His hand moved up my throat, digging his fingers into my jaw so I couldn't turn my head away. His cold gray eyes were clouded with alcohol and that scared me even more when he carelessly smiled. "Let's see what has got Herond so hooked."

He leaned forward and I wrestled helplessly. His grip intensified and he nibbled at my earlobe sending nasty shivers through me. My stomach churned and I felt like I was about to throw up. I pushed his chest to create a space between us but he didn't move. He was too strong, too big, and he was too drunk. I let out a sob when he pressed his wet mouth in the crook of my neck.

"Please don't hurt me." I pleaded pathetically. I still remembered the marks he had left on me the last time and then he hadn't been that close. Nor alone. Well, the full club was barely a couple metters behind my back but the solid walls had never felt this isolating before. I was on my own, and for some reason my body felt like shutting down the more the seconds stretched.

"Hurt you?" he laughed and that sound made me tremble. Panic seized me as his tongue licked my collarbone and traced ugly paths across my skin. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks but I couldn't find the voice to scream. It was as if my throat had closed. "No, nothing of that. You're actually gonna love it."

Still holding my head with one hand, Ryan lowered the other down the profile of my body and tugged at the waist of my jeans. I grabbed it tightly to stop him while my other arm kept pushing his chest, a rush of adrenaline shooting through my veins, fighting this choking dizziness as I grew more and more conscious of what was going on here. Realization like acid in my veins.

"No, please..."

He didn't seem to like it one bit because he growled, pulled back just enough to grab my wrists and hold them over my head with one hand before slamming me back against the wall even harder. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. I couldn't even resist. Or could I?

The door to that dark alley opened again and the loud music leaked to this numbing place, the guy form before coming here again once more, his expression tense and looking constipated. I didn't know if he'd come back to try and dissuaded him again or to join him in this madness, but I took in the moment Ryan looked over his shoulder in advantage knowing there would be no other. He had leaned away enough for me to breathe and when he slowly turned towards me I lifted one knee and plunged it into his crotch.

He gasped in pain and released me immediately, dropping to his knees, groaning and too drunk to do anything immediately. I wiped my tears away and ran clumsily to the door, surprised but glad to see the guy slid to the side not even bothering stopping me. Good, because I was already weak enough for this escape, if I had to fight someone else I would lose completely.

Entering the crowded place was like stepping out one nightmare, but not fully. With the rush slowly pounding in my veins exhaustions came back, draining that little moment of adrenaline and as I entered the crowd of sweaty moving bodies I was once more barely standing.

Kimmy, I need to find-

"Hailey."

I almost jumped out of my skin when a heavy hand fell on my shoulder and turned me around but felt my chest looseing as I met those known green orbs. Nate. He examined me up and down and clenched his jaw. I wondered what how must I look. My teeth were chattering uncontrollably and the tears did not stop running down my cheeks.

His gaze, confused and furious, shifted between me and Kimberly who appeared behind him and eyed me in shook too, concerned. Nate's hold on my shoulders was firm and gentle and I felt how his warm touch made me feel more secure immediately.

I couldn't stop feeling Ryan's hands and mouth all over my body and after feeling the warmth of Nate's gaze I opened my mouth, but once more words failed me. The little strength I had left was shattered and I just find myself somehow cradling to his chest, seeking his protection. I heard him curse even though I couldn't see him through the tears and he held me against his solid form, wrapping his arms around me. At that moment I did not care about the fight, I did not care about his snap or Trish. The only thing that mattered was the security that only Nate made me feel. I buried my face in his shoulder, staining it with tears and makeup but he didn't seem to mind.

"Hey, I'm here."

I nodded close to him, but for some reason the overpowering dizziness came back the more my adrenaline faded, numbing my limbs and making me rely almost fully on him but now I didn't feel as vulnerable as out there. Out there... Oh my God, I didn't want to think about out there or I'd throw up. I couldn't stop feeling Ryan's touch, smelling alcohol, and seeing his cold eyes. A shudder ran down my spine and I wrapped Nate around the waist, clinging to his shirt. If I let go, Ryan could come back and I didn't want him to.

"Oh my God, what happened?" screeched Kimberly getting closer too. "You just disappeared! I was so shocked-"

I wanted to answer, I really did, but I was like under the water, my head filled with cotton.

"Hailey? "Nate tensed snapping me back somehow. " What happened? Are you okay?"

"Ryan..." I finally managed to move my tongue enough to form words, slurred words but for the way he stiffened I could tell they heard.

"What? You were with Ryan? Where? How?"

"H-he tried... to... to-"

I couldn't voice it, it was too embarrassing, instead I hugged him tighter and closed my eyes, the room spun, people spiraling in circles around us and I was starting to lose conscience of what was even up and down. If Nate wasn't anchoring me to floor...

Nate softly murmured something else but I was unable to understand it. His hands caressed my back and little by little I began to feel better, not stronger, but safer. They tried to pry out more information but I couldn't bring my mind to cooperate, I was feeling sleepy, too sleepy... I stumbled on my feet and almost tripped over as they moved us from there to the nearest booth, gaining us some privacy.

"Here, I still got our drinks. Calm down and tell us-" Kimberly handed me my half empty from before but the vase slipped from my faint fingers and I heard it hitting the ground, barely aware of the coldness in my feet.

"Fuck, Hailey, What's wrong with you?" Nate pulled me to step out the pool I created and I almost collapsed on him but luckily he was steadier than me. "Have you really drunk that much?"

"No..." I struggled to focus on his frown but my head was spinning, dense as if filled with cotton. It felt as if it takes several second between my brain emitting an order and my muscles lazily reacting to it. "I'm sleepy."

"Here, sit down for a second." he helped me to the booth's couch and Kimberly eyed me concerned, arguing with him about something I couldn't descipher. Against what I'd thought once I felt the cushions sink under my form, accommodating me, the dizziness only grew stronger, my head fell weakly against the headrester. What was wrong with me?

I hear them saying something but couldn't focus on that when I was struggling to understand why my limbs suddenly felt so heavy. I didn't like it. A spark of fear churned my stomach when I tried to bring one hand to my pounding skull but it only managed to make it halfway, dropping against the couch feeling like being held down by a tone of bricks.

"N-Nate..."even my tongue refused to work properly, feeling like a mouth full of sand. Fear turned quickly into panic as my fogged mind struggled to focus on making my voice louder uselessly. "Nate Nate-"

"What?" in a second he was in my field of vision, looking concerned as he brushed on strand out my face. "What is it?"

"C-cant...move."