Nate

I could hear my mother's voice from my room, speaking almost in apathy, but the sound was drowned by the loud volum of the TV. I could practically follow the match Harold was watching from here. He was clearly ignoring her, too focused on the fucking game to spend a second discussing dosmestic matters with her. The exhaustion in my mother's tone was ripping me from inside but I forced my words inside clenching my jaw as I got ready to leave.

After the amazing game we pull on yesterday we were all in the mood for a good party, and after the last hours in the garage I was honestly yearning for something more than sit here and listen how my disfunctional family 'argue'. I was still amazed my mother came to the match yesterday, but gladly amazed. I mean, sure, I been telling her about the scouts and about the important games, but she usually had a shift or couldn't make it. Yet yesterday she did. Probably because the unexpected visit of Uncle Leo but still, having them there had been such a moral support.

And now I was hanging everytime the phone rings. I didn't know how long will it take before we got news from the scholarship but they seemed impressed yeasterday, right? Everyone said it was one of our bests games, and I felt so proud of myself back then, but as the day stretched and it looked more and more far I began to see all the flaws and overthink about how I should had made things different, better. This growing apprehension wouldn't do me any good and neither would the uncomfortable family situation so I finsihed lacing my boot, ready to leave.

Gathering the rest Spoty meowed, attacking my shoelaces and rubbing against my ankle when I pulled them out his reach, demanding attention and for a moment I faltered. All this days I'd been homeless he'd been staying at Kimberly's not daring to leave him alone in the house with Harold when I wasn't around. That was an unnecessary risk I wouldn't take. But that mean I'd been seeing him less than I would like and apparently he's missed me too because now it'd turned into a needy ball of fur.

"Hey, buddy." I picked it up, surprising myself how much he'd grown in the past month; he still fitting in my palm, but barely. I placed it on the bed as it purred and rolled on his back so I could pet his soft tummy. "I'll be back in a few hours, you stay here."

It was harder to keep Spoty confined because he could easily slid under the door and wander free around the place, but I was glad he seemed to like my room better and stay here most of the time they were in the flat as well. When they weren't he'd found his favorite spot in one of the pillows of the couch.

I honestly wanted to stay with him, but I also needed to let this rush out. The pressure for the game, after the game, the exams, the waiting for the scouts, the whole coming back thing... I just needed to let it out one night and this victory party we were having at a near by club was a perfect chance.

Petting him one last time I stood from the bed, and Spoty perked up instantly, jumping at his feet once more to follow me, but clumsily stumbing for a second before sitting down with the cutest yawn. He looked tired and tiny in the middle of my mattress and couldn't hep but smile at his adorability.

"Just stay here, okay?" I repeated quietly, softy tracing his head backwards and making his eyes fluttered close with another purr as he leaned lower and laid half sleep. I honestly hoped he did stay out of trouble for the night.

I grabbed my jacket and set of keys, patting my pockets to make sure I had everything and take in a deep breath, glaring the door. Let's get over with this.

I got their attention the moment I stepped outside, making sure to close the door behind me, my gaze glaring the floor as I fix my jacket casually but inwardly I could feel my pulse picking up as their conversation died.

Calm down, calm down. Play it cool and walk out.

"I'm going."

"No."

My heart skipped a bit, halting me half step and my mouth dried. Fucking shit.

I stood there for the longest second, watching the front door at the other end of the hallway. Five strides and I'd be gone. But three in the opossite direction was the reason of all the problems in my life, awkwardly standing from the couch. His big fat-ass balanced himself at the new position and I felt cold sweat down my spine when I felt his eyes on the back of my head, glaring holes.

Five strides, Nate. Only five-

"Where are you going? Somewhere to whore around?" his voice was enough to make me wanna run and ignored his threatening presence held over me, over us.

Hesitantly, my gaze shifted from the door to my mother, who stood somewhere in between me and the monster. It was hard to concentrate on distances when my mind was going overdrive. Her eyes met mine for a moment before dropping defeatedly and she brushed her hair back, stressfully.

"You. Come here." my gaze finally fell on Harold as his foot tapped the floor, gesturing for me to do as he said while his other hand rose the can of beer to his mouth.

I shouldn't. This wasn't bound to end well. But angering him now would only lead him to taking it out with my mother, or pilling it up until my return and then it'd be a thousand times worst. I inspected him carefully, despites the bloodshot eyes and autoritary voice, he didn't seem that pissed. Maybe this would be short? Fast, painless?

Unable to find my mother's gaze again and under the pressure of his eyes daring me to disobey, I hesitantly stepped closer, stopping a good three feet away. Okay, safe so far, right? Of course that wasn't enough.

"Closer."

He reached out as soon as I shifted within arms-length and I gasped at the sudden movement when I felt the grip on my nape, tensing me all over as he pulled me to close the gap aggressively. My chest constricted, waiting for the next blow.

"Pussy." I flinched as his hand clenched harder. "Are you gonna go missing again?"

"No-"

"No? Are you sure? Your mother was very worried about you. Do you like to make her suffer?"

My teeth gritted. "No..."

"What was that?" He laughed at my expense and I saw my mother shaking her head casting her gaze down.

"No."

"Is that all you say? No, no..." he mocked tightening the knot in my guts. "I knew you were stupid, but come on. Speak louder! Do like to make her suffer? To have her waiting up for you? Do you relish in seeking attention?"

"Harry-" sighed my mother but was easily cut by him.

"Oh, stop it. You gave me all this hell about some nonsense a minute ago but are unable to discipline your bastard?"

I felt this familiar ache of disappointment when she didn't stand up for me. Sometimes I wasn't sure if she wanted me to fight our battles for the both of us or if she was just fine going along with it. I wanted to be strong and held on the first option; but as she shook her head slowly, glaring the floor still as she let him manhandle me like this, it was hard as hell.

"Just what I thought." snorted the idiot breathing down my neck and making me cringe at the horrible reek of alcohol and precarious hygiene. Disgusting. "What is it that you were saying?"

My eyes burned helplessly. "I don't like to make her suffer."

His smile was sickening. "Good. Now apologize to her." I grimaced as his fingers dug painfully into my flesh, his nails scratching uncomfortably and I was sure there would be marks. "Apologize, I've said."

And as if to mark his order he squeezed his hold a second before shoving me towards her. I stumbled forwards, barely catching myself from the forceful shove and the forniture jabbed painfully in my side. But my mother hardly reacted, folding her arms with a shaky breath, glaring our feet.

Newsflash: she's not gonna do anything.

I didn't know why I thought this time would be any different. I barely managed to hold back the urge to crumble there and then, knowing that would only flued his toxic ego. Instead I straightened myself, fixing my jacket and ignoring the burning on my side.

"I'm sorry." I complied, spitting the words and she flinched but still didn't meet my gaze.

What else did you expect?

Harold said something else, mocking, poking for more entertainment in our misery, but I didn't heard him. I pushed pass my mother's passive form and head to the front door, even more eager now to go out. A rebelious tear make its way down the corner of my eye once I slammed the apartment shut behind me and I wiped it away furiosuly. Pathetic. I'm pathetic.

My nape and side were screaming for attention, but they were like an ethereal buzz, so I guess he was having a good day. I'd tried to stay away since my 'great comeback', but I guess you can only avoid someone so far when you're living under the same roof.

And now look, humiliated and hurt again. And my mother? The woman who kept repeating how sorry he was, how he loved us, just stood there letting it all happen. I was breathing harshly by the time I reached Letty, locking myself inside and taking a moment to recompose.

How much longer could I endure this shit? I didn't deserve it. I'd thought for a long time I did, that there must had been something bad about me that pushed my sperm donnor away and validates Harold to do this to us... but truth was, that wasn't it. I might be difficult, stupid and a lot to handle; but I didn't deserve his treatments. Not at all.

Uncle Leo's words kept echoing in my mind, offering help, offering so much... but my mother just wouldn't take it. How could you help someone who didn't want to be saved?

I jumped at the sudden vibration of my phone, snapped back to reality and numbly slid it out my pocket. "Yeah?"

"Hi! Where are you?" my chest released part of the tension at Hailey's known voice on the other end. There was music in the background and muffled chatter. "Everyone's been asking for you for the past hour, where's the man of the moment?"

I straightened in the driver's seat, willing myself to recompose again. Enough self-pity for one day. "Sneaking out."

"Mhm, I see. One would had thought you were more skillful on that matter."

Her easy tone, amused, cheerful; forced the remaining part of me stuck in that flat to snap out of it. "Well, not all of us are so experienced dodging parents."

"You got me there," she hummed following through with the joke. "I'm real trouble. Bad news they say. Are you sure I'm a good influence for you?"

"The best." I smiled a little, imagining her grinning too at the other end and my heart warmed, sobering at once. But some of the shaky feeling remained and I wanted nothing more than to see her and make it go away. "I'm just getting in Letty, be there in a few minutes."

"Oh, okay, I'll let you drive then. I'm hanging-"

"No, stay with me." I connected the call to the stereos and turned on the engine, finally moving from the shitty block I call home. "How is it going in there?"

"Well, the good music is already starting. Kinda... And people is beginning to get funny. So you see, you haven't missed anything yet."

"I'm missing you." I spoke before realizing what I said. I'd dropped her off at Kimmy's a few hours before and went out to had lunch with the team. It'd been barely half day and still I already miss her. How fucked up was that?

But her soft giggle at the other end calmed my sudden apprehension at the confession. "I miss you too. Kimmy's gone salute some guys from the team and I'm kinda by myself so..."

"Why didn't you go with her?"

"She said the same... but- but I don't know them. Didn't want to intrude."

"And your friends?"

"Olly had this dinner and Tay couldn't make it in the end." I could sense the awkwardness in her voice as much as she tried to hide it. "So you see, I'm here waiting for you to come entertain me or Kimmy to be done."

"So much pressure." I laughed.

"Yeah... you know I'm not good in this things. How long you think is gonna take you to arrive?"

"Five minutes? I'm almost there, baby."

"You drive safe, okay?" I could almost feel her pouting on the other end and my urge to see her grew more.

"Don't I always?"

"I don't know, you tend to rush and it's late. Please be safe."

I rolled my eyes, finding it quite endearing her worry but it wasn't like I could shown her that so instead I adverted the topic back to the club, hearing as the sounds of people and music get more low as she exited the club and say she'd wait for me outside.

It was kinda funny how she was this awkward in parties and clubs. It was out of her character, taking in she usually was social and involved in events but when it comes to this sort of events she wasn't that comfortable.

Slowly, the smooth talk just keep flowing, eliciting the tight lace instaled around my chest. My mood getting better and better the more I was drifted away from the tension, the insecurity and bad energy soaking each inch of that flat. The club wasn't that far, a few blocks down, where the neighbourhood look less like a hobo's den and more like the party side of this small town. In a couple streets, there were concentrated all the night life. Our club was the one we usually go to, not an under-eighteen but close enough to sneak in quite easily.

The parking lot was almost full, some people gathered in groups close to the entrances as music from the several places mixed in the air all along the street. Like a promise of what the night might bring.

Shutting down the engine, I examined the place, easily spotting Hailey by the entrance but needed to do a double check. She was wearing some tight black jeans and a dark top halter with a pink leather jacket. Her hair was held back and off her face but fall loosely pass her shoulder to her waist. She looked so beautiful it took me a moment to realize she'd already noticed my presence and was making her way here. I snapped out of it, exiting Letty and locking her just as Hailey reached me.

"Hey."

"Hi." but I couldn't stop looking at her. She usually dressed up nicely, but not... sexy. This was something new I hadn't prepared myself for. I could only hope she wasn't noticing my moment of stupidity. "Wow, trying new looks?"

She blushed, glancing down. "Kimberly, lend me this." I barely concealed a whince at the mention of the raven-haired girl. Oh, yeah, that was another drama: the stuff between her and Seth. How was I supposed to deal with my two best friends not speaking to each other? It was all just pilling up, but at least I got Hailey here now. "It was like going back to being five and play with barbies... only I was the barbie."

I chuckled, remembering the times Kimmy had decided to help, aka force, her stylish on me too. "Yeah, been there."

"Don't you like it?" What was that? Hesitation? Whatever that vulnerability came from it pinched my heart.

"You'd look hot in anything."

Her blush deepened but smiled. "Well, thanks, but that doesn't really answer if you like it."

I gave her another once over, just for the sake of it pulling her closer by the waist, "Yeah, I like it." I slid my arm under the sides of her leather jacket, heating up when my hand found the soft warm skin of her back. Backless top. I dig. She shivered too at the contact, but in her defense, my hands were cold. I smiled feeling her goosebumps and her gasps against my lips as I let it slid down her spine. "Were you trying to impress me?"

"Well, duh."

I couldn't help it, I dipped my head, instinctibly pressing our lips together. Chills flied from there under my skin, numbing the sting of my recent bruised I hadn't really checked yet. She kissed back immediately, her unease melting as she stood on her tiptoes for a better angle. That alone was enough to erase the previous negativity from my mind, making me love the sweet pace and cradled her closer.

"Consider me impressed then." I mumbled against her lips as she giggled and received my kisses eagerly.

"You look good too." she whispered back, her fingertips lacing easily in my hair and more of those numbing chills overpowered my senses. I knew she was just being nice, I'd thrown on the first thing I found, but it felt good to hear either way.

I hummed, "Kimmy lend me this too."

Hailey laughed, that soft beautiful sound that flued my will lately, pecking me one more time. "I figured." but much to my dismay pulled away, leaning her into me instead. "Can we just stay here for a moment?"

"Okay." I complied, back aware to her unease in clubs and rested against Letty's side, my hands sliding down her arms to embrace her middle and kept her close as she smiled gratefully.

"Thanks. I just get bit on the edge in this enviroment."

"It's alright. Not a party person, I get it."

"Not quite." she chuckled adjusting to my new position so we fit, and Gosh it felt good have her this flush again. "How did the big lunch went?"

"Good, the guys had a little tense moment deciding between pizza and chinese, but things went smooth after it."

"And work?"

"Good," my fingertips grazed the skin of her sides under the jacket and below the top, absently falling in a mesmerizing pattern that helped soothing the remaining bad feeling of Harold, pushing all my disfuntional family to the back of my mind, drowned in new brighter thoughts. "I'm already getting used to it."

"Yeah?"

"For real. And next week I'm having my first payment. We should go out or something."

"Yeah, to celebrate. Sure!"

"But I'm paying this time."

"No you're the one celebrating. I should be the one inviting you."

"No. I want to take you out."

"But-"

"No." I kissed her again, stopping whatever nonsense she was about to argue and it took more will than I thought to keep it short. "I'm taking you out, I'm paying. Not up for dabate."

"You're impossible, have I told you before?"

"Maybe once or twice." I couldn't help another soft kiss, as lame as that sound, I could feel it stealing another piece of my common sense, like a missing part I only recently realized I needed to fully function. And that was scary. Thrilling but scary as well. And now I needed to move on from those overwhelming realizations before I lose completely the will the go inside or overthink it all too much. "How was your date? Did Kimberly gave you a hard time? She's been kinda more complicated lately."