Nate

"And what about this one?" Kimmy unrolled a new tie from the drawer, and I had to suppress a snort at the pattern.

"Flowers? Really?"

"Oh I'm so sorry. Does it offend your manliness?" she dropped it to the side with the rest of discarded ones, ignoring my narrowed gazeaa.

"It's not that." I tugged the collar of only white shirt I owned, buttoning the top button much to my dismay. I didn't like it, I felt almost suffocated, with that and the tux's jacket I borrowed from Seth... I felt so out of place. Just another thing to add to the list why this stupid ball was being a real pain. And on top of that Kimmy thought I needed a fucking tie as well. A tie! I'd never worn one before. "I guess I preffer plain colors?"

"Right," she scoffed playfully, scrolling through the drawer. "Like that makes it any easier. You know how many plain ties my father owns?"

"I'm guessing a lot?"

"And you're guessing right." she nodded, grabbing two fists full of those little pieces of cloth and taking heavy steps to sit in the king size bed of her parents, huffing tiredly.

My brows pursed, the easy-going mood shifting a bit at her gest. Even with that beautiful gown, the make up and the labourous upsweep; I bet everything she was hiding dark bags and hollow cheeks. She was getting worst, I could tell. But she still claim there was nothing wrong.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhm." she blinked it away, sending me a half grin and proving my point. "Just really tired." Liar, but I could only pursed my lips, holding back because I know if I pressed too much she would close off and refuse to even come to the Ball at all. "Come on, pick one already or Seth is gonna think we've fallen sleep." she joked fiddling with the ones she'd taken and I smirked at her.

"Sure, we wouldn't want your date to feel left out, uh? Or he might camp again." her face flustered a bit, and I tilted my head, amused at her unusual blush. Shy and Kimmy weren't two concepts that fit together that well.

"He told you?"

"That he camped at your door until you stop ignoring us and accept to be his date? Nop, I guessed it all." I smirked and the girl shook her head

"I wasn't ignoring him... nor you." she gave me a pointed look. "I wasn't feeling well, I've told you." and her lips tugged into a light smile. "That was so cute of him, tho."

I had to take all my will power not to grimace for Seth. Kimberly said 'cute' as in 'so friendly, adorable cute', not as in 'I'd jump his bones cute'. I believed that wasn't what my friend was aiming at when he insited in taking her to the ball. It took him a lot of courage and perseverance and yet she found him cute.

"Whatever, that's Seth for us, uh?" she laughed and rose her hands filled with ties. "So, which one?" she held a scarlet one and a golden spotted, analizing both skeptically yet my eyes got a glimpse of another from the pile of her lap.

"What about that one?"

"The green?" she perked on brow but handed it to me either way. "Sure, it'll would make your eyes light up... didn't know you were that observant Herond, good point."

"It's not for that."

"Then what for?"

It's Hailey's favourite color. But I couldn't say something as cheesy as that, so instead I ignored the sudden heat on my face and hope Kimmy did as well. Of course, she didn't.

"You know whose gown would match this?"

"Whose?" but for the amused swirling in her expression I could decipher the answer.

She patted the spot by her side on the mattress and gestured me to straighten the collar of my shirt, when I did she slid the green tie around my neck. "I can believe you were such a moron to turn her down." she taunted begining the intrincate lace of the stupid tie, making my guts tense at the reminder of my own stupidity.

"It's not like that." I argueed. "I've been asking her all week but now she thinks I'm doing it out of pity and keep rejecting me."

Maybe it started because I wanted to give her something, but the more she keep refusing the more I wanted to. Each time she say no it made me want to be the one standing by her side the whole night. It would be fun, it would had been great and I would had an excuse to kiss her whenever I felt like it. Now she was going with someone else and God help me if that dickhead was Justin Ames. I couldn't even- Just no.

"Well, you reject her first, didn't you?" she shrugged and I snapped my gaze up at her. Have they talked bout it? "You let the chance scape." she reminded me tightening the tie around my neck. As if I didn't know. "If you don't get over your bullshit you'll lose her."

"You think I don't know that?"

"Maybe not. I'm telling you, if you let her go you're gonna regret this. I like her."

"Then why don't you date her?" I scoffed vexed but she just smirked.

"I'm too into dicks to let them go."

Same old Kimmy. I huffed, adverting my gaze. It wasn't a topic I wanted to be lectured about to be honest, but the next words managed to scape my lips before I could stop them.

"You know who she's going with?"

"Mhm."

My pulse drummed in my ears and I felt my mouth suddenly dry. So it wasn't a bluff. Hailey was going with someone else.

"Who is it?" I hated the hint of rush in my voice and I cleared my throat. "Is it Ames?"

Kimmy smirked. "Like I would tell you." she ended the lace and patted my chest. "If Gracie haven't you'll have to wait and see."

I groaned frustrated, pulling the collar back in place, over the tie now. Too tight. I loosened it a bit ignoring her glare, my mind all over her words. I still wasn't used to them being close, much less teaming up against me.

Kimmy shook her head, not taking my bullshit and her tone changed, into a more serious one. "What's the real big deal about dating?"

Really now? I returned her gaze once more and my insides tightened uncomfortably when I saw no sign of taunting now. She was serious. "You mean besides tying you to another person? Besides becoming a pack instead of my own person? Oh, and besides offering in silver plate the perfect chance to be crushed?" I snorted out a bitter laugh. "Nothing."

"Oh, get over yourself." she rolled her eyes, unimpressed at my perfect logic. "Drop your drama queen mood for a second and hear me out, will you?"

"Drama queen?" I huffed but it fell to deaf ears.

"Very well. So you don't wanna get tied, or vulnerable or whatever, right?" my lips pressed, refraining another sassy comment knowing there was no point in arguing her; it was better to play along than to try to convince her to leave it. So I forced a stiff nod. "Alright, let's list facts, okay?" Kimmy cleared her throat and straightened her spine, lifting a finger for each 'fact'. "You spend an awfully amount of time together, right?"

"But-"

"Right?" she completely ignored my glare, returning it innocently, as if she wasn't asking something obvious.

"Right."

"Thought so." she nodded. "And when you're not, you're hanging by the phone. Right?" my jaw clenched but I say nothing. "You became exclusive for her, meaning you're already focusing solely in one girl and not just physically. You -talked to her, you actually want to tell her things and to have her hearing you, and to hear her too. You laugh, a lot more, let me tell you. You're more relaxed than I'd seen you in a while... well, not now, obviously." she gestured my stiff body lenguage and scoffed. " The mere thought of someone else taking Gracie to the ball is driving you nutts, wondering why would you reject it when she asked you to asked her. I mean, come on, Nate. You like her, she likes you. Would it really be that horrible to stop calling it mess around and start dating instead? What actual difference would that make aside form the label?"

"We're fine as we-"

"Yeah, I know you're perfectly fine with how things are, but you're not the only one in this ship. Stop acting like you are." she cut me rather harshly, making me gape at her fiercy gaze. Acting like... Was I being selfish? Self centered? What exactly was she aiming at? All because a stupid label?

"It's not that easy." but my own voice came out unconviced.

"Isn't it?" Kimberly voiced my inner self with a pursed frown. "And why not?"

"I don't..." I glanced down at my fisted hands over my lap, taking in a deep breath hoping for this lumps on my throat to loosen, and this time it wasn't the fucking tie. "I don't want things to change, okay?"

I sounded pathetic to my own ears and immediately wanted to swallow those words back down but it was too late. What was I now? Some clingy moron?

"Nate." she sighed, stretching the moment for a couple seconds and when I looked back up at her dark eyes found nothing but a dead-panned look. "Get over yourself."

Against all odds, that snatched a dry chuckle from me. Get over myself... yeah, maybe I must. Her words keep echoing in the back of my mind. Would a label really affect thing that much? Was that really everything that would change? It wasn't like I have a lot to compare this too, ence my only girlfriend ever had been Trish and that was a constant on and off. But with Hailey I didn't know...

Were we already behaving like a couple would? And I was still me?

I shook my head, overpowered by a my own rush of thoughts and laughed again, loosening the suffocating tie some more. "How can you be always right?"

"It's my girl instinct, I don't expect you to undertand it." I nudged her playfully and she grinned quiverly eye-murdering the lame lace now hanging casually around my neck. Her tongue clicked disapprovingly. "And you messed it. But still look somehow classy... How can you always be handsome?"

"It must be your girl instinct kicking in again." I joked and she laughed. Laughed. I'll take that as a win.

"Alright then, we shall go now then, but let me... One last thing." she gestured me to come closer and once I did she run her hands in my hair, touseling it to my confusion and irritation.

"Why would you ever ask me to brush it if you wanted to mess it later on, uh?"

"Oh, stop complaining, I'm styling it. You won't want to look like a moron... There." she grinned and looking pass her to the mirror wall at other end find she did styled it well.

"I like it."

"I know." she mocked and I rolled my eyes, standing up finally and holding out a hand for her to take and pulled her up with a swift tug.

She weights nothing, I realized watching her adjusted her gown, tight around her waist and chest and then falling loosely to her anckles. she's always been slim, graceful and slender, jeally-worthy form those bitches that hated her. But now she was... skinny. Too skinny. With the hoodies and casual clothes it wasn't that noticable, but now?

I adverted my gaze before she could caught me staring and forced any trace of worry to vanish form my face. Not now. We were in a good mood.

"Shall we go?" I inquired once she seemed to be done.

She nodded taking her purse and carefully stepping in her heels. "Why the rush tho? It won't start for another hour or so."

"Yeah, but we're going to have dinner with the team." she stopped dead in her tracks and I quickly added. "I-I know you don't exactly like half of them. I know. But they are the guys... and Bear isn't going, so you just have to tolerate them for the dinner."

I almost held my breath as she processed it, I couldn't have her backing away now. And this time we didn't settled her to meet Bear. It was just a few guys from the team and maybe their dates too. I watch her gulp for the tiniest second before finally shrugging. "Whatever." and marched down the stairs where Seth was waiting for us zapping from chanel to chanel.

Finally!

After hours of work, the gym was at last prepared. The silver ballons, the banners hanging everywere, the tables, music, list, lights... Every single detail. All done. A huge sense of relief nested in my chest as we stood proudly before the settled place. It was beautiful, winterly. But we'd taken a lot of time and the clock was ticking when the first people started coming. Teachers reponsibles to guard the place took over from there and encouraged us to go get.

I was so excited. This kinda event were always so fun... and this year we were seniors, meaning it doubled!

Previously today I had all I'd be needing brought in my locker, so I could easily change after setting everything up so that's were I headed.

The chat in the locker room as we changed is easy going, enthusiat as the other girls from the committee speculate about their dates and what the night would bring in. I had to swallow a bitter feeling at the little reminder of the painful rejection I endured from who I'd hoped would be my date.

I mean, I had it coming either way, I half expected his 'no', but I wasn't prepared for his 'hell no, we're not dating and you've never had a boyfriend'. That had stung. And I knew Nate sensed it as well because then proceed to asked me out of pity... which was hundreds times worst.

I could deal -I hope- with a rejection, but how embarrassing would be to force a guy who'd strongly expressed his disgust towards going with me? I shuddered just thinking of it.

I let out sigh to myself while sliding in the gown. Nate and I'd been hooking for a couple months now, and he already made concessions on his own. Another truth he spoken was that I keep aking for more and that was unexeptable. Things had been crystal clear since we started this. I'd known he wasn't into commitment, or into dating of any kind. I had already managed to get him only messing with me at once, we were fine as we were... I should learn to meet him halfway or made up my mind and stop this all together.

But I didn't want this to stop. I wanted to be with him, I was fine with how things were, right? And I'd grew to like him way more than I let myself think of. He'd made his way into my chest and into my thoughts. He'd corrupted my every way and I couldn't spend a day without contacting him someway, even if it was only a text.

This was way more than our deal of 'just kissing'. I knew that. He for sure knew so as well, but at the same time, if he didn't accept the steps maybe this wasn't as established as I thought it would be.

So he likes me, that much I knew for sure, but what the hell does than mean about anything else? He didn't want to date me, he wouldn't let this infatuation to move more than just how things were going. As my mind had kept up and schedule on its own his had stuck to what we were already doing at the moment. That's on him now, more if you added to the emphatic 'no' he'd giving me last weekend, I should get the signs once and for all.

We weren't a couple.

We would probably never be a couple.

We'd be together for as long as this craving for each other lasted, and once it was done so will be our relationship. All the sweet words, the hang outs, the growing need in my chest... all was for nothing and I better started to get used to this if I wanted to keep up with our deal.

Because I wanted to, right?

On the other hand... if this was bound to end one way or another, why wait 'til I would me even more attatched than what I was at moment? If the mere idea of breaking things made my lungs constricted and my head spun now, I wasn't that sure letting this feelings grown was such a good idea...

I zipped the gown, with the help of another girl of the committee, and inspected myself in the mirror. I like it. For being something found in the last minute, I was happy with his it had turned out to be. It was very simple, a silky fabric and lace all over the sleaves, neck, cleavage and back. I realy like it. I took my hair off the bun I've put it and enjoyed how it feel around my shoulders. I'd straightened it this morning so I could easily held up some strands from the front with a hair-clip, a little make up... and done.

I smiled to myself, proud of what I'd done with little time and such a place. I helped get the make up of the girl that just made mine and in about half an hour everyone was ready to join the music blasting from the now half filled gym.

Again, this was exciting. The bubble in my stomach churned all the more as we made it there and find there was already half our classmate there, along with few people from the Crossroads and South Easton. You could tell because they gathered in groups, like guettos. It wouldn't be until everyone was here that people would begin to mix up. Always the same.

Once more, I proudly analyzed the gym. Damn we were good. I got a text from Taylor saying they were at the entrance so I waved the girls goodbye and squeezed my way there through the coming crowd. There was nothing left for me to do, Mrs Glennson had only instructed me to be part of the preparation but then delegated the article about the Winter Ball to another girl. I must say, I was glad, I didn't want to work anymore tonight. It was time that I enjoy myself for a change.

So I headed to the main entrance of the building, against the flow, and once out I recognized the little trio gattered at the bottom of the front stairs.

The freezing air was deathly obvious on my lacy sleaves and I folded my arms, shivering as I approached them.

"What are you doing out here? Come in already!" the three of them turned to me.

"Well, you ungrateful, we were waiting for you." scoffed Taylor mocking indignation in Kevin's arms and Vickie tilted her head.

"Yeah, is that how you greet your date?"

I grinned, shivering still. "My apologies, can we get inside now?"

"That's more like it." the read-haired nodded back and came to link our arms pulling us to the warmth at last with Kev and Tay at our tail. "I was about to withdraw my generous invitation."

"Oh, you better not." I joked back as we entered the building and the heat stroke my body like a warm blaked. "Because I got you a little something."

"Really?" her green eyes sparked with curiosity."

"Mhm, here." I took the little package from behind me back and she smiled at the simple bouquet that matched the red of her gown.

"Awww, aren't you the best date ever?" she took it happily and slid it in her wrist. "I got yours too."

She took a green and silver from the pocket of her coath and I melted at how cute it was.

"Vickie, that's so beautiful."

"Yep. Didn't I tell you I'll be the best date ever?"