Hailey

"I'm not a stranger to the crack.

Hide away, they say

Or we'll be taking all your stash-"

"Oh my god" I laughed, both amused and horrified at his version of the This is me from The Greatest Showman that was currently playing in my laptop. "It's so not like that."

He smiled and shushed me, leaning more into the headboard of my bed, pursing his brows forcefully in concentration, trying to remember the next obscenity as the real song played through the speakers. "Err, and then it goes... Oh yeah. -nanana glorious

When the sharp syringe wanna cut me up

It's gonna knock me out, gonna dope 'em up

I am wasted, I am crocked,

I am who I'm meant to be, this is me."

I shook my head bitting down my chuckle. "It does not say that. "

"That's what the guys sing." he shrugged folding another flyer. Tomorrow was the last day to bought tickets for the Snow Ball and I was in charge of the publicity so it was on me to made sure everyone had as much advertisement of it and the offert of the photography club that had collaborated with the Dayly for stuff like the yearbook and this special events. Students would be able to buy they pics of the Ball and it was my job to announce it. Nate was helping me fold them properly and tomorrow morning I would stuffed them in all the lockers and leave a few on the lobby.

We'd dragged my chair near the bed to support the laptop and had all the flyer spread over the mattress as we folded them. Well, I was, Nate had grew tired of it and lately he scroll through his phone and perverted every song as it came.

A part of me was still waiting he mention something about the Ball since it was a topic so evident in the moment, but he kept it to himself and my nervousness and disappointment was growing. I guess he wasn't asking me after all... I knew I shouldn't expect him to but still a part of me hoped he would. Especially after this morning's bump into Justin.

I'd convinced Kimberly to meet me again, and she accepted rather easily considering yesterday's events. She was all smily and cheerful today, saying it was all a mistake, that she had it all undercontrol and basically pulling out an act so I wouldn't freak out. She did all this so I wouldn't tell anyone else, I knew it, but she also sounded convinced when she said she was done with it. She sounded scared and tired but maybe sure enough? Maybe she did have it under control now? I still wanted to tell someone but what good would that made?

I was really lost on what to do about her. She'd been starving herself... for months as she said she lost her period for that long. But then again, there was nothing I could do that wouldn't erase the little trust she's put on me. So for now, the best I could do was keep an eye on her for better information and hope she was relly dropping that shit. Please let that be it.

Now, telling Nate was the biggest urge to contain at the moment. He was her friend, but Kimberly had specifically forbidden me to share it with him. I knew he wouldn't be happy if he knew but this wasn't my secret to share.

So, apart for the disappointment he wasn't asking me to the Ball and confusion at the new intensity things were taking lately, now I also had to add guilty to the list of emotions that piled whenever we were together.

"You're being awfully quiet today." Nate stated snapping me back to the present, in my room, with that movie going on and the flyers on the mattress before us. "What? Don't you like it?" he smirked refering to the monstruosity he did to the beautiful lyrics of This is me. "I told you it would blow your mind."

"My mind seriously thinks you guys have too much free time." I joked back and he laughed, making me stomach fluttered with butterflies. Add that to the list too.

"It's a gift. Anything could be wicket I guess."

"Anything?" I scoffed. "You mean anything once it's been through your dirty mind? Then sure."

He hummed, nodding as I folded more flyers. "You're just jealous."

"Of what?" I glanced up at him, my back straightening. "Your wickedness?"

"You're jealous you wouldn't come out with something as fun if you tried."

"You didn't come out with it either, you said that's what the guys sang."

"Is that a dare?" he perked a brow amused and he smiled back. "Okay, next song of the lame movie and I'm making my own lyrics. As I go."

I giggled, looking back down to the flyers and losing the little stare contest. "Mh, I'm not that sure I want to hear how you spoil a new song."

"Why not?" his lips pursed, almost disappointed in an endearing pout and I almost melted right there. "Try me."

"Oh, I believe you."

"Hailey," Nate scoffed, clearly not pleased with my response. "I'll show you." he let his phone on the mattress, sitting straighter to look at the laptop screen as the movie had moved on and I eyed him warily. "Next song that sounds I'll put my gift to good use. Ony for you."

"Ain't I a lucky one?" I rolled my eyes playfully. "So you're gonna pervert another one of these beautiful songs?" he smiled and my stomach churned all the more. Just then the chords of the new song began and both our attention snapped there. I easily recognized Rewrite the stars at Zac Efron first sentence:

'You know I want you.

It's not a secret I try to hide.'

Nate smirked, parting his lips to contribute in his own horrible way. "I know you-"

"No!" I pressed my palm into his mouth to stop his next expletive. His eyes went wide for a second but once overpowered the bewilderment I felt his smirk against my skin. "No no. Not this one. You're not spoiling them with your wicked lyrics."

"My gift." he corrected muffledly.

"Whatever. Don't. Spoil. That for me." He perked his brow and my heart dipped. "Please?"

He rolled his eyes but I half understood his "Fine", so I grinned lowering my hand and letting my fingertips lingered down his chin. "You know," I shivered at his breath against my ear as he leaned closer. "You had other way of shutting me up." Only when his hand snaked around my waist I realized I was practically on him. Following the tug on my muscles I leaned and the butterflies in my stomach fluttered more agressively as our lips brushed.

"I know." and turned to look the beautiful choreography on the screen and secrety, bitting back a smirk as he groaned and mesmerized at how beautiful the whole secuence was. Zac and Zendaya were just leading the best song in that movie. So emotional, it gave me goosbumps along with the ones Nate presence already put on me. They steal my heart everytime.

"So," he cleared his throat when the song ended. "Are they together or what?"

"Watch the movie and you'll see..."

Nate chuckled adding to the fluttering in my stomach. "You just want me to sing again."

"You do have a nice voice." the words came out unexpectedly and he breathed out a low startled laugh, making my skin tingled.

"Oh, do I now?"

"Mhm." a blush climbed up my neck at his words and I giggled to cover the suddenness of that comment, sitting straither once more and lifting my knees so I wouldn't mess our -well, my- now almost done work. "Stop distracting me, I'm almost done."

"Distracting you?" he huffed leaning against the headboard once more but keep his arm loose around my back, his hand casually resting on my left hip and spreading warmth from the ardent, light touch. "I'm bored."

"Watch the movie."

"I am." he whined like a toddler. "I just don't get what's the big deal with this film. It's pretty lame."

"It has dancing numbers. Just with that the lame-label is out of question."

"Whatever. Next time we're seeing Avengers."

"Deal." I bergained as I folded the last flyers and piled them carefully. Finally!

"Uh, that was too easy. I should had said The Hangover, or Fast and furious-"

"Too late." I get out the bed to let them all neatly folded in my desk, missing his warmth against my side immediately, but came back soon and brought the velvetly blanket I keep in the ottoman with me. I crawled back in place and wrapped it around us. "Better?"

"What? Are we cuddling now?"

"Do you really have a comeback for everything? What's wrong with cuddling?"

"It's too cheesy."

I rolled my eyes had to refrain myself from pointing out he cuddle almost as much as myself, especially in public where he seemed to have no shame or sense of what PDA was. Not like I was complaining, but I was way more selfconscious and having people noticing me only as Nate's hook up was weird. I'd never been one to catch attention.

"You really are grumpy today, uh?" once the blanked was placed I scooped closer, delighted to see that despites his protests his arm moved immediately to fit me against his side and mine curled around his waist automatically.

"Well, I've been trying to see you since Friday and when I get to you're busy. And on top of that you force this movie on us."

"I asked if it was alright!"

"What was I supposed to say? I didn't thought you actually wanted to watch a movie."

I frowned up at him. "Oh really? And what would I be talking about in your mind when I literally say, 'Hey, wanna watch a movie'?

"I don't know. People say those things but it's an excuse."

"An excuse?"

"Yeah, you know, 'come by, we'll put on a film, and cuddle nicely', dim lights and stuff... then they all end up shagging."

My eyes widened, my cheeks heating agressively this time. "Oh my- you're so raw!"

I went to pull away, startled at his bluntness but he laughed and held me tighter, bringing me back so I felt each rumbled of his chest against mine. Brick by brick, melting every guard I tried to keep up around my heart. "You're just too easy to tease."

"And you're dirty."

"It's called charm." he grinned at me and I couldn't help a little smile myself as I shifted away. He was just so... I don't know. Was that what he expected from this? For us to make out? Well that was what we always did right? But he spoke almost as if reading my mind. "Breathe easy, babe," his forfinger tipped my chin upwards and his lips ghosted mine so briefly I wondered if that could even be considered a kiss. It drove my heart to overdose, that's what it did. "I like you enough to endure this crap some more."

And went back to watch the movie, as if he said nothing. Was it really all just saying? Was that what he was expecting? Was it was I was expecting?

I gotta admit a part of me yearned for something to happen. It's been a long week, I barely seen him, or been with him in any way. I'd missed him, and whether this afternoon was eveloping lovely without the physical part, I would be an hypocrite if I say I wasn't anticipating some more. The movie I love so much keep going on the screen but I could barely pay attention to it. The door was locked, the light were off and my curtains down.

The enviroment was soft and intimate; comfy and warm under the smooth blanked. I could feel his solid, flat muscles shifting each time he breathed and shifted, so close to me it was just impossible not to notice, not to get mesmerized by it. His scent, his heat... the way his arm came over my shoulder and curled around my back, keeping me close and absentmindly traced paterns over my shirt. Nate looked blankly at the laptop's screen, finally having stopped his complains so I could see the movie. So I could have it my way.

"Nate." I called softly but it wasn't like I needed to speak louder for him to hear.

He hummed, tearing his bored eyes from the screen to me and perking a brow when he noticed I was staring back already. "What?"

I couldn't but smiled, stretching my neck to connect our lips, this time properly. Sparks danced under my skin as he smirked and kissed me back, complying and I tightened my hold on his waist as he took over the kiss, fisting the coth of his back.

Now this was what I been missing too. Even more apealing that Zac Efron's singing. My air, my gasoline... In the course of this past months I became addicted to his attentions and once tasted I couldn't but demand more.

The stirring in the pit of my stomach curled more and more as the make out grew more heated, spreading down my abdomen and limbs as if beging me to put an end to any possible distance. My hands tested the waters sliding under his shirt, burning at the contact with his smooth skin and the churning in my chest felt almost like a physical ache.

I didn't know what I was doing, but an instinct tugged my left leg to shift sliding between his, my need resting on the mattress under them and my whole body shifting closer against his. This must pushed the right button because her let out a cute plesant sound and his hand that's been behaving in the crock of my back slid lower to my bottom and his other traced my leg pulling me closer so I was practically straddling him and felt his allurance through our clothes. Heat burned in my veins claming for more as pleasure pulsed straight to my core.

"You know," he mumbled between kisses and my over drived mind struggled to descipher his words. "You know I was joking, right?" there was a hint of concern there.

"You don't want this?" I panted, pulling slightly away to look at him, and in the darkness of my room I was glad the red in my face was covered from his attentive eyes as they scanned my face.

"Oh, I do." he practically groaned and I bit back a smile, this feeling bloathing my guts once more. "I just don't want you to feel like we have to. The movie isn't half as bad..."

I smiled. "I don't. I want this too."

"Good." he grinned back and we kissed again but I cut him as I felt his fingers fiddling with my skirt.

"N-no, wait. I'll do it."

"Do what?"

"What do you think?" I joked reaching for his belt instead, hoping this way he won't notice how nervous I was. Eager? Damn yes, but terrified of the outcome since it was always him pleasuring me. What about a change for once? I was hoping my clear inexperience won't drive him away now. "What if I do something for you?"

There was a tug at the hem of his mouth as he let me unbuckle him. "You want to do something for me?"

I hummed, but once that step was covered and he kicked the trousers off all my inexperience came back at once. Here I was, with a pantless guy in my bed and I got no idea how to proceed next. Oh dear lord.

"Would...would you, um, show me how?" I blushed at my own request, but Nate gave me a sweet smile and kissed me again.

His tongue swirled over mine, taking its time building up the heat inside me. Churns of thrill ran down my spine and my heart fluttered, desire drifting from every pour of our bodies. Then Nate took my hand and gently guided it over his erection. I could felt it, big and hard through the boxers and his breath hitched at the contact, intinctibly pressing my palm harder against it with his.

It felt weird but natural at the same time, unsettling me a bit but encouraged by his shudder I dared to rub it up and down like he'd shown me. Hesitantly at first but firmer when he moaned and broke the kiss, leaning to my neck.

"Fuck."

Smiling I brushed his hair away with my free hand and kissed his jaw, enjoying his pants on my skin and the way his chest heavened raggedly against mine. "You like it like that?"

"I love it like that." his groan made my skin vibrate and involuntarily I squeezed him a bit more. "Fuck." he cupped my nape and moved his mouth back to mine.

This was different. It felt like I had the control.

I was the one on charge here and I didn't knew it could feel that good just to make someone else feel good. It was weird, exciting, pleasing. I didn't noticed his undoing my shirt's buttons but soon enough my cleavage was being painted with red marks of sting and delight as he moved to new one. His hands squeezed my butt, driving me closer, one knee on each side of his thighs so I barely had room to maneuver; but I wouldn't want it in any other way.

I never ventured under his boxers, tho; not today at least, my bravery only goes so far. But as I made him come undone I almost felt like it was me the one taking pleasure out of it. I felt the moment builded up as our breaths ragged and our skin became sweaty, the room an oven and us the burning flares heating it.

I knew he was nearing his peak when his kiss became sloppier, I added more pressure and enjoyed how his muscles tense, tightening his hold before looseing all at once everywhere. His forehead came to rest against mine, panting. "That... was... Wow. " I smiled at his tone, pride swirling in my chest, as he shook his head. "I should go to the bathroom."

And just like that my chest deflated. "You didn't like it."

Nate chuckled at my mortification and cupped my face, letting his thumbs caress my cheeks tenderly and stealing more of my resolution. "I did like it, but I don't have a change of clothes with me so if I don't go to the bathroom soon this will get pretty messy."

"Oh... oh." I blushed agressively at my own stupidity and slid off his lap, holding my knees to my chest, still shaken by the recent adrenaline. "Go on then."

He chuckled and leaned to kiss my lips one last time, filling me with liquid euphoria, and wobbly stood up. It was funny to think I made him this affected. That I caused this effect on him. I felt powerful, dangerous... I felt good.

I leaned back into my now messy bed as I wait for him, glancing to the chair where the laptop was resting by it and almost laughed when I saw the movie was still on, unbothered by everything that's going on in real life.

That just happen. And it was awsome.

Maybe I should give in more easily? If everything was this mind blowing he must be having a hard time knowing all the delights of physcal relationships and having to be this slow for me. But that same thought put yet another smile in my face. He was adapting to my pace. He like me more than this so he was willing to wait. As lame as that sound, since we weren't a couple, were those little things what made me fell more and more.

My phone beeped in the nightstand and I glanced over, seeing I had a text. I took it, expecting to see Taylor's latest new about her christmas gift to Kevin but instead found someone's different.

: Have you thought about it?

My heart skipped a beat, and my fingers tightened their hold on the ittem. Why he keep insisting? Didn't he get what I told him at all?