What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing?

It kept repeating in my head as I slowly pulled Letty to a stop next to Kimberly's house. On the driver seat, Hailey's jaw dropped at the sight of the three-story mansion, Victorian stile with more garden than house. "Oh my God."

"Obnoxious, right?" Kimmy grimaced following her gaze from the backseat. Her lips tightly pressed.

It was, I believe, the fist honest comment she'd said through the whole ride here. She didn't take well Hailey coming with... she didn't take well giving up the passenger seat. But her stop was earlier so it would have been stupid having her changing seats once we drop the princess home.

But she'd made sure to show off how much this new disposition upset her. Another one of her tantrums, no big deal. What worried me was that she was making Hailey uncomfortable. I was already having second thoughts about this tutoring to also have to worry about Kimmy being rude.

"N-no." Hailey stuttered, thinking she'd offended Kimberly. She seemed very intimidated by the cheerleader. As most people. Kimmy usually had this effect on others. "It's nice."

The raven-haired girl snorted, and I caught her rolling eyes through the review mirror. I sent her a warning glare and she returned it, but ended sighing. "Whatever." and pulled the door open. "So nice of you to give me a ride."

"Fuck off already."

With a smug smile, she fixed the strand of her bag and mocked a salute before stepping back and turning to make her way in that mansion. I shook my head, getting back into the road.

"Don't mind her that much." I reassured Hailey, who looked at me. "She's all bark."

A small smiled tugged the hem of her lips. "She's pretty intense." but then looked back out the window, fiddling with her fingers. "I didn't mean to be a burden if you had this routine and all."

"You're not." I scoffed, a pang hit my chest at her discomfort.

Maybe she's noticed my unease? But it had nothing to do with her. More about the fact she was coming to my shitty flat for this tutoring crap.

When she first offered, I had assumed we'd be doing it at her farm, even at her cool barn! But apparently today her mother was having an important business dinner - aka Roosevelt High management, and the school's policy was against students near those meetings. Meaning, we couldn't be at her place.

I almost panicked when she said it, but then remember today was Friday. Harold took those as his party days and usually got out to get his ass drunk with some fellas. Not different from the rest of the week, but at least he didn't do it at home. We were safe 'till at least eight pm or so, and I was positive we'd be done by then. Fingers crossed!

"I just didn't want to create any kind of... problem between you two." Hailey muttered again, still unsure and I rolled my eyes.

"Kimberly is always like this. Seriously, don't mind her. Her tantrum's been over before she even got inside, I promise."

"Oh." that seemed to elicit part of her tension and I myself relaxed in response. Hailey smiled again, truly this time. "Okay, then."

And just like that the easy going conversation began again. It fascinated me how easy it was to talk to her. About anything. It was as if Hailey always had something to say or do and I didn't really have to do much other than let the situation flow. This past week I'd spend most of the afternoons with her and didn't even realize it until now.

It was natural. And weird.

I was getting used to her by now and somehow I didn't care.

The nerves came back to twist my stomach painfully once we reached the parking lot by my building. I mean, Hailey wasn't obnoxiously rich like Kimberly but she was well provided. And I... well. My apartment was something rather lame. I hate bringing people here, not only because of Harold, but also because it was... poor. I felt ashamed all of the sudden.

Yeah, this definitely wasn't a good idea. What the fuck was I thinking?

"Are you okay?" she frowned sensing the change in my behaviour and I noticed I'd stilted glaring the building before me.

Snapping out of it, I told myself it was too late to back down now and for it not to seem suspicious. Well, the dickhead is not here, and mom cleaned it down to the core two days ago. It won't be that bad.

"Yeah." I smiled, but was sure she could see right through it so I wasted no more time in unbuckling and getting out of Letty. "Let's get going, okay?"

She eyed me another second and I could feel that unsure feeling in the pit of my stomach, but then smiled and it vanished.

"Okay."

The walk there was one of the longest of my life. I hate how old the building was, how brows and nasty the walls look, how the lift's been out of service for over a year now... It screamed poor and shame at the top of their lungs.

We got hit by this smell of smoke and humidity that greeted us as soon as we stepped into the lobby. The red-brownish carpet that covered the bad lighted stairs and the landing was torn in some parts and roamed at others. Rats, probably; I sometimes see them at night scurrying in the basement, but luckily they never got in the apartments so far.

Never I'd been more conscious of how bad this place look since I brought Seth, but Hailey merely looked over it as we made it upstairs. I was both dying and dreading to know what was going on in her mind, but if she felt disgusted she didn't show it.

What on earth was I thinking when I decided to come here?!

My guts clenched some more when our door stood in front of us and I fiddled with the key.

"You know," I cleared my throat, struggling to keep my embarrassment at bay. "It may be messy, and we don't usually have people over..." like that, I hope to smooth it for her, but to my surprise Hailey smiled at me.

"If you think I'm scared of a bit of a mess, you mustn't have seen my room."

I appreciated her effort, but I had seen her room, and the small disorder in there couldn't compete with the black hole this hell was sometimes. With a deafening click, the door opened and I forced myself to step in. Here goes nothing.

As I'd said, mom had gotten her hands busy in making this place shine barely a couple days ago and Harold wasn't here, so the awful smell that usually granted my arrival wasn't here today. I inwardly breathed in relief. There were a couple things out of place, but nothing a normal place with current habitats wouldn't have. It was small and lazily decorated, but there wasn't much to do about that fact.

"That's it, then." I carefully dropped the bag by the couch and moved to open the blinds. With the natural light bathing the place, it didn't look half that bad. Well, despites everything being meek and cheap. Except the big TV against the wall. Pathetic. My eyes widened at the humidity dots on the corner and the further wall and the wear down cushions. Fuck.

Hailey didn't look freaked out, nor disgusted by it, tho. No, her face remained calm, maybe a bit curious as she glanced around and I could feel my chest relaxing more than I anticipated. She wasn't going to judge this place, nor pity me for it.

Good. I almost felt like letting out a chuckle of relief.

A door squeaking in our backs made us turn and -probably the only good thing in this apartment- stepped into the living room: my mom's old spotted cat, Freckles.

She stretched her back, not as graceful as she used to be on her younger days, and eyed us curiously. Her head tilted and her long fluffy fur moved with the gesture. I was about to call her over to introduce her to Hailey but as I opened my mouth and turned to the girl, I noticed the panicked look on her face.

All my thoughts came to an abrupt halt the moment that big cat stepped into the room and fear flowed through my veins. This might sound like and asshole thing to say, but me and the animal world don't get along.

On my seventeen years of existence I'd been scratched, bitten and 'attacked' by every pet that's crossed me. Taylor's parakeet, my aunt's chihuahua, there also this one time when I was chased by a random Saint Bernard at the park... Every. Single. Animal.

Not for any reason in particular. I hate animals and they hate me back. As simple as that. My aunt tried to tell me they smell my fear and that made them more thrilled as if it was a game or something, but it only made them look scarier for me.

And now, completely unexpectedly, I found myself looking at this old huge cat that seemed to want to enter the list of creatures that had messed with me.

Nate said something but it was as if I was hearing him underwater. The thing eyed me mockingly, like saying watch it, and then walked closer. I held onto Nate's arm panicking at the beast. "I-it's coming, IT'S COMING!"

He looked at me like I'd gone nuts and the animal halted, practically smirked at me and launched for my feet. I squealed and ran around the room as the thing chased me like it was the funniest thing in the world. Nate might agree with it since I heard his laughs filling the room before he finally decided to step in after my second time circling the couch.

"Okay, calm down-" but I grabbed his arm and hid behind his back, with my heart up my troat and my eyes wide and fixed on the approaching animal.

"Please, please, please, make it go away."

"Who would have thought you were scared of cats?" he mocked, but I held him tighter as the fur ball came closer.

"Please!"

"Okay." he chuckled and bend to pick it up, holding it tenderly as it purred and roll in his arms. "Aw, isn't she adorable?"

I struggled to calm down the mad heartbeat that rushed in my ears. "S-she?"

"Mhm. It's Freckles. Wanna pet her?" he stepped closer back to me and I screamed again.

"No! Put it away from me!"

"Oh, come on, she's a sweetheart." he sat on the couch with the animal curling on his lap. The purr louder now as it rubbed its head against his hand. Nate smiled up at my wide eyes. "Too old and clumsy to be an actual danger."

"It... it's gonna scratch me."

"She won't." he rolled his eyes as if I was being ridiculous and patted the spot beside him. "Come on, I dare you. It can't be that bad, now can it?"

Can it?

I eyed it, unsure. I really didn't want to be scratched. And it was so big... Was it a cat or a freaking spotted panther?! But standing there, with her being so sweet in Nate's grasp, it almost looked like they were mocking me.

My pride was in danger and I wouldn't let it fail me. I was beyond a fluffy sweet cat, right? Not having it all with me, I hesitantly sat where he's gestured me. Fear and all those past experienced were like a knot in my throat. It would be so easy to pull away right now... but then I would give him enough material to tease me for the rest of our lives. Especially when this Freckles looked like a puff in his hold.

I gulped. "If it scratched me..."

"She won't." he rolled his eyes again, amused at me.

Come on, pat its head and move on.

I squeezed my eyes shut and reached out, my hand trembling as it smelled it, its whiskers tickling me.

Nope, I can't.

But right when I was about to pull away, too afraid to fulfill it, the warmth of a second hand covered mine and guided me the lasts inches. I gasped as the soft fur molded under my palm and my eyes immediately snapped open.

"See? It isn't that hard, now is it?" I sensed Nate's smile, but couldn't look away from the animal in front of me. I felt her under my hand, so fragile and delicate under the long fluffy fur... Almost as if it could break at any hit. Was it really dangerous? Right now it only seemed a little-

The thing nuzzled into my palm, making a purring sound and unease clenched my chest all over again, making me flinch away. "Ohh-okay, can you put it away now?"

Nate chuckled, but luckily decided he'd messed with me enough and stand with the thing just as it was attempting to step into my lap. I would have had a heart attack if that happened. He took it to one of the two doors on the left side of the living room. His, I guessed? Gently let it down and shut the door again.

"So, wanna snack something?" he smiled at me while passing by to the attached kitchen.

It was little and white, with a fridge, stove, small foldable plastic table and an even smaller counter by the sink with a microwave. I wondered how did they manage to eat in family, considering there wasn't a former table in the living room either. Maybe they were one of those families that eat on the couch? Watching that huge TV all together?

I tried no to think much of it, knowing he was uncomfortable earlier about bringing me here and not wanting him to regret it.

Nate opened the cabinet over the counter and it didn't pass me the alcohol's pantry on the top shelf. All kinds of bottles lined up. He took a bag from the lower stand and closed it.

"Here, I got chips. Nothing like chocolate, but..." he shrugged and it took me less than a second to realize he was making fun of my sweet tooth. Again.

"Hey!" I frowned, my cheeks blushing as per usual. "There's no shame in liking some sweetness, you know?"

"Yeah." but it came out as a chuckle and I folded my arms as he put the content of the bag in a bowl and turned to face me.

"You didn't seem to have such an issue with chocolate in eighth grade, now did you? When you and Seth showered Michel Redens' locker with cacao powder and that nasty slime."

"You remember that?" he grimaced at the memory and I couldn't help but laughed now. It wasn't weird of him to do this kind of prank, but the cacao-hell was a prank-go-wrong. They got caught and were forced to clean it all, which got them busy for over an hour. And everyone in Roosevelt knew about it.

"Everyone does." I giggled, but his dry look told me he didn't find it as funny. "Come on Nate, what you did was a total mess up. When we- they went to Mr Hudson you've already got everything messed up. Serves you well."

I waved it off and bit my lips, cursing my unfortunate slip and praying he didn't catch it. As usual, I didn't get that lucky.

"We?"Nate rose one brow and my heart raced in anticipation. Shit shit shit. I waved it off, dismissing it and tried to pass the topic.

"It's called karma. What had Michel even done to you? His books smelled like hell for weeks."

"So you told on us?" he took a menacing step forwards, jaw clenched and hard tone. I matched it backwards suddenly fearing him getting mad. Too late. "You were the one who snitched?"

"No, I-"

Another step and his eyes glowered in an unknown feeling, amusement gone now. Major shit.

"You brought Mr Hudson back." it wasn't a question.

"Well, technically yes. But-" another step.

"I got detention with him, Hailey. You fucked me up for a whole month." my back met the kitchen wall by the table. Not a second after I had to tilt my head up so my eyes would meet his burning ones, towering over me. So close I could smell his scent and felt his body heat.

I bit my lips, battled between fear and amusement.

"I'm sorry?" I fought back a smile, but he read through me with a scowl.

"You think it's funny?" I furiously shook my head. His hands pressed the wall beside my head and suddenly I was surrounded. "Oh, but you were so all but laughing a second ago."

I shook my head again. "I'd never laugh." but what was supposed to come out sternly sounded more like breathless as I couldn't keep it in anymore and a grin was drawn on my face.

He eyed me darkly yet confused for a second, but then, to my utter bewilderment, a malicious smirk twisted his mouth.

"So you do think it's funny, uh?"

But didn't give me any time to respond since the next thing I knew was that he'd pressed me into the wall, making me felt warm all over and taking all my breath away. But this hot sensation was quickly shattered when he used his position to keep me in place with his body and tickled me like crazy.

Had I mentioned that I'm a very ticklish person? So I squealed, my face burning in surprise and embarrassment as I wrestled in uncontrollable chuckles.

"Wait...Nate... S-stop!" I tried to beg, but he was relentless and his laugh filled the room as well. The most perfect sound ever. Such a shame I couldn't enjoy it due to his torture.

"Weren't you so fond of making fun of me?" I barely could hear then, twisting like a mad woman and laughing so hard my head was starting to hurt, but he was indeed way stronger than me and seized both my wrists with one hand keeping me in place.

"P-please-"

"Say you're sorry."

"I'm sorry!"

"Now say: Nate is the handsomest man ever and he didn't deserve what I did."

"Handsomest?" I managed to blurt between crazy giggles. "T-that's not even a word!" His eyes shone as the tickles increase and I almost choked. "NAAATE."

"You forget the second part, sweetheart."

Somehow I managed to free my hands and grasp his, holding them put. Our gazes met and he rose one brow; humor written all over his face, but as well a hint of threat.

"So?" his breath grazed my lips, barely inches away as I panted badly.

"Alright, alright. Nate is the handsomest man ever and didn't deserve what happen."

A breathtaking smile took over his features and warmed my chest.

"Aw, that's so sweet of you." he teased, tilting his head as if watching me in another angle and something unreadable swirled under his orbs when he draw them to my mouth.

My chest heaved up and down fast, but not only for the recent tickle session. I could feel my heart picking up its pace, suddenly very aware of the lack of distance between us. Shudders ran down my spine and those inches between us had something mesmerizing that made me wanna erase them. My lids slid close when he leaned in-

The crack of the front door being opened snapped us from that sudden trance and my eyes widened. He cursed under his breath and stepped away, cold air replacing everywhere he'd been touching before and I diverted my heating face, startled and confused at what just happen.

"Nathan?" his mother stepped into the kitchen, looking exhausted in her uniform and slightly disheveled high pony tail. "Have you- Oh, hi." she stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed me there as well.

Her eyes narrowed as she let them examine me from head to toe, probably realizing how flustered I look and taking the wrong conclusions. I blushed more if possible.