"It's for you." Emmett says handing me his phone.

"What Calvin?"

"Who the fuck are Donna, Susan and Katy?" He asks all snappy. "And why the fuck are they at my front door?"

"Oh that fucking bitch." I groan and sit up to get dressed. Guess I'm gonna do a walk of shame right now. "I'll be there in five and wheres Andy?"

"Somewhere with Bree." Lucky bastard escapes the pits of hell again.

"Alright bye." I hang up and sigh. "Time to go kill some monsters." Emmett laughs as I stand to get dressed. "You laugh now."

"Worse than Renee?"

"No one is worse than her."

"Wait do me a favor."

"I'm not bending over."

"Haha. I wasn't gonna ask you that. But I mean if you want to." He smiles at me. "No but seriously open that door for a second." I sigh and turn to open the closet.

"Holy trust fund." I mutter and start going through the closet. "This is all new." I say looking over the tags. I should probably shower but I also shouldn't leave the Cullens with the real uglies of Arizona. Fuck it imma shower.

"Well I figured you'd still want clothes at Charlie's and this way you have even more options."

"This is a discussion for after I shower." I say turning and feeling something drip down my leg. Thats gross, but kinda hot. Ew I'm gross. "Yea shower first."

"Care for company?"

"No." I turn and walk into the giant bathroom and close the door. I don't have time for him to distract me. Everything is really beautiful, I probably could've explored more last night but I was busy, exploring Emmett.

-

"Cel!" And ladies and hoes that would be Katy. She gets up from where she was very awkwardly sitting with Esme to hug me.

"Hey kiddo." Her mother, Donna or the evil bitch from Wizard of Oz, glares at me. "You've grown."

"That's what happens when you don't visit for a year."

"Yea yea. Maybe next year. Donna it's so nice too see you."

"Yes it's been too long." Never long enough.

"Although if you're here who's trapped under the house in munchkin land?" Katy snorts. "I'm just joking Donna don't frown, you'll get even more wrinkles."

"I see you still have your humor."

"Fortunately." I will murder her for funsies. Also do I hear Susan upstairs being herself? Yes. Does Donna know that? No. "I thought the gingerbread witch was with you?"

"Susan is upstairs with your mom being supportive during this very difficult time."

"Ah she's setting up the Botox appointment then. Or sharing her recipes for how to cook up random children help keep her youth?"

"You can stand to be less sarcastic."

"Yes but then the world as we know it would crumble I mean hell the old bat ruling over England would finally croak."

"You shouldn't joke about other people's deaths, it's bad taste."

"Not as bad as you're taste in clothes. Women can wear pants now just in case you didn't know, or you know show ankles." I smile at her, she opened her mouth but god I hate her voice. "No one cares about being a proper lady."

"Clearly." She turns her nose up, ewww I can see bats, and fossils. "I mean honestly Celeste Renee didn't raise you like this."

"Renee didn't raise me at all." I snapped and then shot a glare at Jasper, he shrugged. "Can you just sit down and shut up until you have to leave?" Donna opens her mouth but I'm already Turing away with Katy still under my arm.

"Sorry about her."

"Don't apologize for her." I mutter sitting us down at cullens dining table. "So how's school? Any cute boys?"

"No." Her shoulders slump a little.

"Mmm come on tell me I miss simple teenage drama." Seriously all I get is supernatural drama with a touch of death.

"Do you know how hard it is to date with my mother?"

"No thank gods." She shakes her head. "Aren't you already 17? What's a few more months?"

"Hell."

"You could always run away." I suggest.

"Speaking of Andrew ran away." She says leaning in. "Sometime in April."

"What did his parents say?"

"They were heart broken I mean first Addison and now Andrew."

"Mmm poor them." Man fuck them hoes.

"Sorry I forgot you don't like them." I shrug. "Sooooo Wanna tell me about the dude you came with?"

"His name is Emmett." I say and she rolls her eyes. "Moving on you missed Bella's wedding but you're mom said she can't get away for the weekend."

"A lie clearly." She deadpans. "She said we couldn't come cause she wouldn't attend a wedding that's only happening cause of premarital sex."

"Ha! Please as if."

"So Bella's not pregnant?"

"Nope and she never will be." I shake my head. "She was also much to her displeasure a virgin."

"Is the dude hot?"

"No." She snorts again. "Seriously dude he's ugly."

"You could be nice about it."

"I let him marry Bella didn't I?" She shakes her head. "So back to you why don't you just live your how you want and hide it from you mom under the floorboards."

"Is that a reference to something?"

"Everything she says is a reference to something." Jasper says coming to sit down. "Sorry to intrude it's just a lot over there."

"Not intruding in your house." I point out. "Anyway Katy this is Jasper, cowboy Katy."

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Texas?" Katy asks and he nods. "Interesting."

"Don't be creepy kid." I tease and she flips me off. "In front of the cowboy?"

"So he's Bella's husbands brother?"

"Unfortunately for him. Takes him from a 7.8 to a 6.5 out of 10."

"Why am I a 7.8 to start?"

"The civil war." I say mocking his accent. "Then there's Calvin and Emmett, and then Rosalie and Alice."

"Who are the other four then?" She asks looking at Jasper. Bless her little heart.

"Our cousins from Alaska."

"One of them totally bailed because she was in love with some douce bag who was uninvited to put it nicely." I tell her.

"Is he floating down a river somewhere you crazy bitch?" She asks me.

"No, we burned him." I shrug and she laughs.

"Mean girls style?"

"Totally."

"Mean girls?" Jasper questions and Katy's mouth drops in shock.

"I know they're all like that." I tell her and her mouth opens wider. "Close your mouth before you catch flies."

"They don't know about mean girls?"

"Or anything else in this century."

"What the fuck?"

"I know."

"Andy's here." Jasper says low enough for only me to hear.

"Shit." I mutter just as him and Bree walk in.

"Andrew!" Donnna shrieks and I flinch. Son of a bitch.

"Well it seems the cats out the bag." I say when Katy's head snaps towards me. "Andrew might be living out here with me."

"What the hell Celeste. You could be charged with kidnapping." She hisses before standing. "My mom is a snitch."

"He turns 18 this week." I remind her, I need to get him a gift. And find out Bree's birthday. "Besides when I found him he was homeless." She shakes her head and heads out to where the family are.

"If I wasn't dead already I'd kill myself." I tell Jasper and get up to follow her.

"¿Qué coño están haciendo aquí?"

"Ruining my morning, and now yours." I tell him, Bree is hiding behind Emmett, same kid same.

"Rude." Katy says. "And you, you abandoned me."

"Sorry." He says with a half smile.

"You should hold that apology for your parents Andrew." Donna scolds and he glares at her. "And of the places to be with Celeste, after everything she's done to your family."

"You don't know shit about my family puta." He snaps and Calvin moves to hold him back.

"Donna just shut up. Andrew is an adult he made his choice mind your business or go mind Renee's either way it's enough." She shuts her mouth. "You two go shower you reek." Bree and Andrew nod before going upstairs.

"Now you sit down and wait for me to bring Renee and Susan down so you can get the fuck out of my town and I can live in peace again." I say and then head upstairs because fuck now this has gone on long enough. I barge into the room we shoved Renee in separate from Phil who was in fact leaving my mom. Good for him. "It's time to go." I tell her and Susan who are just sitting on the bed. "Now."

"Celeste." I hold up my hand because I am truly this fucking close to just killing all three of them for sport.

"I don't want to hear it, I've had it up to here with all your bullshit and Donnas bullshit so get out so you can get a ride the airport." I open the door wider. "Out."

"I wanted to talk to you."

"I don't care."

-

"Take care of yourself kid." I tell Katy hugging her, I drove her and Phil to the airport because they didn't all fit in Jaspers car. "Come visit once you're 18 and I'll do your first tattoo free."

"Promise?"

"Promise." I tell her still hugging her. "And maybe I'll come to town."

"Okay. Bye Cel."

"Bye Katy." She walks over to her mom and them. "Take care of yourself Phil."

"You too Cel, and thanks for helping me get out of that." I laugh.

"It was my pleasure." I give him a small hug. "Good luck next season."

"Thanks." I watch him walk away. Finally. I feel someone staring at me so I look up and it's Renee. She waves at me and just turn away. It's not like I need a mom at this point.

———

Enjoy. These next couple chapters will be random until Bella and Edward come back

Love ya

-Rebel