"What's that?" Michael asked as Luke walked in to the living room of Michael and Calum's apartment with a few papers in his hand. He sighed and sat down on the couch, reaching for the cup of coffee on the table.

"Some apartments Ben sent me today. He can't show me any before Friday so he sent me some papers so Ash and I could read about them and see which ones we were interested in before visiting" Luke spoke and took a sip of his coffee, cursing right after as he burned his tongue on the hot beverage.

"I can't believe you and Ashton are moving in together" Calum said and shook his head with a smile on his face.

"I know" Luke mumbled and leaned back on the couch with a content sigh.

"You're so damn ahead of us. I mean, you have a kid, then you got yourself a boyfriend and another kid, and now you're getting an apartment with all those people. Your own little family" Michael spoke and Luke grinned widely as he looked at his best friend.

"I love the sound of that" he hummed, making Calum and Michael chuckle.

"So, when's the wedding?" Calum asked and snatched the papers away from Luke to inspect them himself.

Luke only snorted and playfully rolled his eyes before laying still in the couch, letting his eyes glance between his best friends. Michael noticed the look on Luke's face and furrowed his eyebrows slightly.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, making Calum look up and then turn to look at Luke as well.

Luke bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows before sitting up and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. He had a thoughtful look on his face and it looked like he hesitated a bit before speaking.

"Can I ask you something?" Luke asked, making Michael and Calum both nod their heads with slightly confused looks on their faces, "Do you think I'm moving too fast?"

Both Calum and Michael frowned before slowly making their faces drop, knowing exactly what Luke was speaking about. Michael leaned forward with a hurt expression on his face while Calum gave the blonde an assuring smile.

"Luke, it was Dani who left you" Michael said and Luke sighed before nodding his head.

"I know, but Leon's her son too"

"Luke," Calum sighed and shuffled closer to the blonde before placing his hand on his shoulder, "The only thing she did was carry him for 9 months. She didn't even stay to name him"

Even though Luke hated what Dani had done, he still didn't hate the girl. They were high school dating and they suddenly had a child together. Even though none of them were ready, they stuck through the pregnancy together and they grew closer than ever during those 9 months.

Luke fell in love during that time and then he was suddenly left alone with only a phone call from her parents saying she wasn't ready to be a mother. Luke didn't even get to say goodbye and he never got to hear her tell him she loved him again.

It hurt Luke a lot, making the first months in Leon's life miserable. He was barely around because he was so broken. Leon had to grow up the first couple of months with a father that was a horrible and pathetic train wreck.

Luke was ashamed of those times and promised himself to never put his family through that again.

But Luke still had that pain in his heart, the one he felt when he knew she was gone. The pain had gotten better with time, but he still had a hard time to get emotionally close with people in a romantic kind of way.

That was until Ashton came stumbling into his life.

Luke loved Ashton, he truly did, but he was still scared. Sure, he trusted Ashton and he knew the older boy would probably do anything to please him, but Luke was still scared that Ashton would leave as well. That he would leave without a single word and leave him alone and miserable.

"I know," Luke sighed before closing his eyes, almost feeling like breaking out in tears.

"No Luke, don't do this shit. She's gone and you've got Ashton now. I've never seen you as happy as you are with him. She could never have made you this happy" Michael spoke, his voice quite stern to make Luke believe them.

When Luke was at his worst, the relationship he had with Michael and Calum was damaged as well. Their friendship had been sinking to the very bottom of the ocean and no one had the strength to swim up to the surface again.

So that left Luke in his bed, staring at the wall at 4 pm, his one and a half month old son crying in crib a few feet away, while Michael and Calum left the Hemmings' household with watery eyes and one less friend.

Luke wasn't mad that they left him to be. They tried to help him but he didn't let them. He didn't even let his own family help him the first month, so he thought that he deserved to be alone.

But one day Luke woke up at 2 am by Leon screaming from his crib. Luke had slowly sat up and walked over to his son, watching the precious baby cry, before he picked him up and brought him over to his own bed. And then when Leon had stopped crying and snuggled close to Luke's chest, Luke realized he wasn't at all alone. He never would be if he started to take care of his son, his family, and his friends.

After that night, Luke's life came back on track again, and ever since he met Ashton, his drive has gone nothing but smoothly.

"I know" Luke spoke again, opening his eyes and showing his friends the pools of tears threatening to tip over the edge. The smile on his face made Michael and Calum understand that he was fine though.

Calum moved as close as he could to Luke before throwing his arms around the blonde and engulfed him in a tight hug. Luke heard Michael mumble something alone the lines of 'not without me, assholes' before he felt another pair of arms around himself, and he smiled big.

"You're the best dad ever, Ashton is too, and together you two are probably the most amazing father's in the whole wide word. Your kids are so lucky to have you two, especially now when you'll be sharing a home" Calum spoke and gave Luke a smile as he and Michael pulled away from the hug.

"And Ashton is one lucky man" Michael said and grinned smugly, making Luke laugh lightly, already feeling much better than he did seconds ago.

"Okay!" Calum said and clapped his head together as he shook his head, "No more of this emotional crap, I don't want to cry"

Luke smiled at his friend and chuckled before nodding his head. He didn't want to cry either. He had no reasons to, his life was perfect as it is right now.

"Can you help me check through the apartments and give me some thoughts before I show it to Ashton?" Luke asked and eyed his friends as he ran his hands under his eyes to wipe away any of the tears that may have escaped from before.

"Yeah" both Michael and Calum answered with smiled before they all checked through the papers, searching for the perfect home for Luke's perfect little family.

**

"Hello?" Luke called out as he stepped into Ashton's apartment. He had a key to the home and didn't need to knock on the door to enter.

"In the living room!" Ashton called out and Luke smiled as soon as he heard his boyfriend's voice.

"Dad!" Leon said as he came running out from Peach's bedroom, the small girl right behind him with a big grin on her face.

Leon jumped up at his father, making Luke catch him in the air and bring the small boy up to his chest, hugging him tightly.

"Hey bud" Luke whispered into the hug because his words didn't need to be louder than that.

Leon was hugging him back just as tightly, making Luke wonder if his son actually felt that he needed this. That Leon knew Luke was a bit down and needed some love from the most important person out there.

"Hi dad" Leon whispered back and Luke bit the inside of his cheek to not start to tear up again.

They hugged for what felt like hours, but was probably only seconds, before Leon pulled away and gave his father a grin.

"Peach and I made a fort, you have to look!" he said enthusiastically and Luke nodded with a smile on his face as he put the small boy down to engulf Peach in a hug as well. The little girl curled her small arms around Luke's neck, making Luke sigh out in happiness.

"You're looking extra pretty today, princess" Luke whispered into her ear, speaking about the small tiara she had placed on the top of her head.

"Thank you," she said and hugged Luke tighter before hiding her blushing cheeks in the crook of Luke's neck, "You look pretty too"

And the warmth and happiness that filled Luke at that point was enough for him to keep warm through the whole winter that was slowly coming up. He didn't need a coat, gloves, and millions of sweaters, he just needed love.

"Thank you," Luke whispered back before pulling away to stand up, "Show me your fort" he said and the toddlers eagerly nodded their heads before running into the bedroom, making sure Luke was following them.

As Luke entered the small bedroom, all he saw was blankets and pillow building up some kind of a tent. The toddlers had flashlights inside and all their teddy bears lying under the blanket roof, making it all look so unbelievably cozy and lovably childish.

"Wow," Luke started and crouched down a bit to see inside the blanket fort, "This is amazing. You built this on your own?"

Both toddlers nodded their heads before speaking, "Dad helped in the beginning but then we did everything!" Peach spoke with a proud grin on her face, making Luke grin as well.

"And all our friends are already inside so we're gonna have a sleepover like the one we had last Saturday!" Leon said happily and pointed at the teddy bears inside the fort. Luke nodded his head and chuckled as he watched the small ones climb inside.

"Have fun," Luke spoke and watched them turned on the flashlights, "I love you"

"I love you too!" both kids said at the same time, causing them to giggle and Luke to smile so big it almost hurt.

He slowly backed out of the room, carefully closing the door, before turning to walk into the living room. He watched Ashton sit on the couch with his laptop in front of him, looking at the screen with a concentrated expression.

"Hi beautiful" Luke spoke softly, earning the attention from Ashton. The honey-blond looked up from the screen and as his eyes locked with Luke's all the way from the doorway, he smiled.

"Hi" he breathed out and smiled even wider when Luke walked over and sat down beside him.

As he turned to look at Ashton, he saw the older boy frown worriedly at him.

"Why are you crying?" Ashton spoke in a low and worried voice, making Luke furrow his eyebrows and reach one hand up to touch his face with his fingertips, feeling the salt water running down his cheeks.

He hadn't even noticed he was crying again, but this time it wasn't like before.

"Did something happen today?" Ashton asked again and reached both his hands up to wipe the remaining tears away from Luke's cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

Luke breathed out a soft and fond laugh and he reached up and gently grabbed Ashton's hands, holding them in his own.

"No, nothing happened," Luke whispered and smiled at Ashton, "I'm just happy, it's happy tears"

Ashton watched Luke intently before breaking out in a soft adoring smile. He intertwined his fingers with Luke's and held his hands tightly before leaning forward to press a kiss to his lips.

"I love you so much" he breathed out against Luke's lips.

"I love you too, so much" Luke responded and leaned in to kiss Ashton again.

"I got apartment papers from Ben today" Luke spoke after a while of soft kissing, and showed Ashton the papers. The older one smiled and took them, watching through them with an excited look on his face.

"What's this?" he asked and pointed at the red crosses in the corner of some of the papers.

"That's the apartment Michael and Calum likes and thinks would fit us" Luke spoke, making Ashton laugh before going back to intently study every paper.

Luke watched him as he did so, loving the was Ashton bit his bottom lip in concentration as his eyes roamed every inch of the papers. A smile was brought to Ashton's face as he read through some of the apartments, and Luke just knew that he was so happy.

He didn't want any Dani, because he had Ashton, and he was all he ever needed.

"Ashton?" Luke spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the boy in his intense reading.

"Yeah?" Ashton answered without letting his eyes glance away from the papers.

"Something did happen today," Luke admitted, making Ashton snap his head to the side to watch Luke with wide and worried eyes.

"What? What happened?" he asked and placed the papers in his lap to put all his attention on his boyfriend.

"Nothing really happened, it's just-" Luke spoke and frowned a bit before speaking again, "It all kind of happened 4 years ago and I haven't told you the story yet"

"Okay," Ashton breathed out, seeming a bit scared, "Tell me"

"It's just that I don't really want to tell you yet. Or I do want to, don't get me wrong, I just feel like I'm not really ready yet," Luke spoke and watched Ashton nod slowly as he listed to him speak, "I just wanted to let you know that there's nothing I'm hiding from you, I'm just not quite ready to tell you yet"

It was quiet for a while and Luke almost regretted speaking up, before Ashton smiled and reached his hand up again to this time run his long fingers trough Luke's blonde hair.

"That's okay. When you're ready to talk, I'm here," Ashton spoke and soothingly massaged Luke's scalp, "I'll always be here"

And right then, Luke felt completely safe for the first time in nearly 5 years.

•••

i wasn't going to update but here i am at 2:15 am

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