"Are you sure you want to volunteer Sarah?" my mother asked me in another attempt to convince me that I have made a bad decision. Living in our Malibu mansion, the outside world is either black or white for my parents. But I know otherwise, because I am a psychiatrist and deal with people on daily basis who aren't black nor white but shades in between.

"Mom, please. We have had enough of this conversation" I told her clearly frustrated.

"Have you ever thought of what my friends would say? Imagine if aunty Hannah got to know that you are dealing with criminals. How am I to face them? It is a shame that you have grown up to be a selfish person despite mine and your step fathers efforts" there it goes again.

My step father is never a father figure to me. He take care of me and provide for me, but he also make sure I know I am not his daughter. He has two daughters from his previous marriage. Rana is 3 years older than me and Rania is same as my age which is 28. Rana is married to a business tycoon who owns several financing companies. Rania is engaged to a politicians sons. Both girls are nice to me who is the only child from my mothers marriage to my dad who died when I was 13.

"I cant live in shallow worlds mom. What is so bad in trying to help people who are in prison mostly for their circumstances? You never felt embarrassed when you introduce your friends who need help from me. I am a psychiatrist. Helping people regardless their situation is my duty. I am doing this for the sake of Allah. So please, don't make it difficult for me"

"You know, me and your step father deserve this for giving you everything you ask for. Just like your father, you too want to bring shame on me. All these luxuries we live in isn't enough for you. Well, go ahead. But remember not to come crying when things get tough"

"Mom, when have I ever come running to you even when things get tough?" I saw her eyes eiden at my revelation. Well, it is the truth. I play with the hand life has dealt me with. I knew from very early in life, mom is kind and loving but her social aspiration exceed any love she would have for me.

Luckily, Rania decided to interrupt us then. Alhamdulillah for these blessings.

"I am going out with Farhan. His mother gives salaams to you. She said there is a gala dinner next week at Conrad, and asked if you could join?"

I saw my mothers face light up, and knew it is my time to escape unnoticed as she will be questioning Rania in detail about this event. I murmured "Thanks" to Rania before making my escape.

I have to report to the prison tomorrow. I have requested the most dangerous and brutal criminals to be allocated to me. I am a highly paid, well in sought after psychiatrist in the country right now. I charge as much as an average person entire years earnings for one session with me. Yes, I am worth close to a million dollars without my mom and step fathers assistance.

I stopped taking rich clients couple of years ago. This is when I was asked to come in to help a hospital in a crime dense area. The more I dealt with the people in here, the more I dived in to crime, trauma and psychology. And I was able to help lot of people successfully. I was approached by the prison currently has asked me if I can volunteer at least 2 days a week to help some inmates. And I was honored until my family descended on me with rejection and ridicule. I start work tomorrow. I cant wait to see how I can impact these men and their lives.

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I murdered 3 people. I murdered 3 people. I murdered 3 people.

I murdered my elder brother, two of male friends. I murdered them cold blooded. I shot every one of them right through their head. And the only person escaped from me was my 2nd brother, who is the heir to a fortune and an old title.

That is what I kept telling myself. That is what I told the police and that is what I told the judge. And it is certainly what I will tell this new psychiatrist who will come tomorrow to see me. They all think I am a brutal murderer, and I am. Yes, I am. I have to convince myself.

I killed my brother to get his money and title. I am a by blow of our dad who actually adopted me when I was 8 years. My mom died and left me with his care. At 35, I am wise now. Prison didn't break me like I expected it would do, and those expected me to break. I have been here for the last 3 years. And looks like I will be here until I die.

Ben is the eldest in the family. Harry is the second. My childhood ended with my mom. Ever since dad took over, I was a servant or a poor relation. My grandmother and brothers took pleasure in reminding me this. What bothered me was dad knew these were harassing me and at time physically attacking me. But he kept quite or pretended to not know.

So here I am.

"We don't need psychiatric help officer Hans" I told the prison officer.

"Well Steve, sadly we think you do. You are the most disciplined and intelligent in mate we have here. I suggested your name so that you can find a way to get rid of whatever made you able to kill"

"The case is still going on Officer. Most likely they will hand me the capital punishment. So why waste all our time?" I tried my best to convince him.

"If the doctor can give a strong recommendation, you will not be given a capital punishment. Listen Steve, this doctor isn't just anybody. She has appointments booked for not days or months but for about an year. She normally charges what I earn in one year for one month of her patients. It is a blessing we were able to convince her to come here and help some of the people here" he kept on going. The way he was singing praise of the doctor, I am sure whatever I say will not do any good.

"okay, I will see her. But I am a killer. There is nothing she can do about it" I said more to myself than to him.

"You will be surprised Steve" and little did I know at this time that he was right. Life did surprise me.