《I don't love》Part 16
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Steve's POV
One month:
It drives me nuts knowing she isn't here with me. It's already been one month and I haven't stopped thinking about her once. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, she's always on my mind. Even when I'm asleep. All my dreams are about her. Everything is about her. I picture her face in my mind at least ten times per minute. I've tried calling but she doesn't pick up. All my thoughts always end with her words. Words I'll never forget.
'I'm so sorry, I love you.'
This was enough for me to hold on to hope. That she'll be back and when she is, we'll be together. And I want nothing else.
Two months:
She still doesn't receive my calls. I try to get distracted. I work a lot. Anything to keep my mind on other things. It doesn't work very well though. Actually, it doesn't work at all. Everything reminds me of her. Literally everything! I mean, if I saw and apple, if think of her. Because apples are fruit and fruit is food and Natasha eats way to little. This is how it works with everything. As soon as someone mentions Natasha I get interested. I try not to be too obvious since nobody knows about us but I can't bare to hear anyone else talk about her when I'm not a part of the conversation.
Three months:
My nightmares are back. They have changed a little though. It starts the same way. Natasha's laying beside me in bed and I look into her beautiful green eyes. This is my favourite and only good part of the dream. It feels so real. But then when I wake up, in my dream, and she's gone. It's like she leaves me every night. Over and over again. I'm not even scared about the fact that I wake up 70 years into the future. What scares me is that she isn't there with me. I wouldn't care when or where I went as long as she were by my side.
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Four months:
I try to think of our great moments. Everything we've been trough together. All small moments. I've probably went trough them a thousand times. When she looked over at me from the sofa. The way she drank her wine on the balcony. Her expression when she was dreaming a nightmare. That scares me. She seldom sleep and I wonder how she's doing. Her nightmares is probably keeping her up every night. I just want to hold her in my arms. She'd be safe here.
Five months:
Thinking of her hurts now. I want to get her out of my head. But it's impossible. She's stuck there. It's like torture. I miss her so much that it hurts. My bodies aching and I'm not sure if my heart actually is in my body. Sometimes I can swear I can't feel it beating. I've never felt this miserable. She's probably fine but she never received my calls. I honestly don't even know if she's alive. I don't know how she's doing and it's tearing me apart. I've begged her to give me a sign that she's alive but I've got no answer. If this continues, I'm going to look for her.
Six months:
Fury had got a message from Natasha. She was fine, apparently. I knew she only did that so I wouldn't go after her. I wished she had told me instead. I wish a lot of things. I sometimes even pray for her to be okey. I literally get down on my knees before bed and pray that she'll be home soon. Safe and sound. I don't know what else to do. Some nights, most nights, I cry myself to sleep. I feel pathetic but I'm helpless. I feel lost.
Seven months:
I drugged myself with work. Everyone had a lot of process. Especially Wanda, she did really good. I knew Natasha would be proud if he was here. And there she was again. Creeping up around the corner of my mind. I throw the thought away and keep working.
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Work, eat, sleep. And the again, over and over and over again.
Eight months:
I went to a party and I met some a woman. I don't even remember her name. It makes me a jackass I know. And I kissed her. I just wanted to feel something. Something to fill the emptiness in my chest. It was a quick kiss. I could barley call it a kiss. I felt it in an instant, that I couldn't let go. It wasn't the same. She wasn't Natasha. Natasha isn't here. I tried really hard to forget her. It was too painful. But I can't. And I won't. I just hope she hasn't forgotten about me.
Nine months:
My body was about to explode. She'll soon be home. She'll be home soon. That's all I could think of. It's not much time left. Not much time. She'll be here. She will. I miss her.
Ten months:
Soon. A word that had went through my head for a month or two. It's only days left. Her leaving haven't changed my feeling about her, they have become stronger. I know that it isn't what she wished for, hopefully she actually did, but there's nothing I can do about it.
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Holding Onto My Man
After an accidental death, in order to continue to live, Gu Bai had to choose to go through various wonderful books to complete tasks. Every time he became a variety of small cannon fodder inside the story, Gu Bai code of conduct when completing task is – by all means, don’t be inferior, don’t be shameless, don’t be upright…..hold on to a golden thigh. N times after transmigrating Cannon fodder: (angry contempt)….you’re already so powerful, why are you still shamelessly holding on to a golden thigh to deal with us? ! Gu Bai: (deadpan) that… holding and holding…got used to it….Thank you for reading updated Holding Onto My Man novel @ReadWebNovels.net
8 389Soul sacrifice [POETRY]
POETRY COLLECTION BOOK We met by accident, but fell in love on purpose And a promise runs my mouth, Leaving my soul open To never let your heart be broken✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ ✿ With kindness and open heart, join to this ship with me, and may we sail the sea of emotions and fears, with laughter and tears, following us on the way.♡♡♡In this book, I will write from my soul, I will bleed trough ink.Reading this poetry book will get you inside the deepest tunels of my heart.I may feel vulnerable, but dont mind,this might be the biggest opening to humankind I will ever achive.~copyright~All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or used in any manner without the written permission of the copyright owner.© 2022#2 in deeppoetry 11. 8. '22#3 in deeppoems 11. 8. '22#2 in wordsofwisdom 11. 8. '22#3 in latenightthoughts 11. 8. '22
8 151System Supervillain
I was there when it happened. When the walls of reality came crashing down upon us. When everything changed. I was there. I watched it happen. There wasn’t anything I could do, of course. When two veritable demigods are fighting to the death, getting caught in between is a great way to end up very dead. Or worse. That’s when it happened. Raw time crashed with pure paradox, and the universe itself screamed in torment. Night turned to day turned to yesterday and tomorrow and blue and yellow and whale and petunia, and then it snapped back, all at once, with a thunderous roar that was not heard but felt. And then I saw the blue box for the first time. ------------ A System Apocalypse event happens in a world of superheroes, like you would see in the comic books. What happens when the world changes, and heroes and villains are now bound by a System that limits their powers? What will change, and what will remain the same? This story will incorporate Champions/HERO System 5th Edition rules. There will be dice rolls determining the action, and blue boxes with lots of crunchy numbers. If you're not down for that, there are plenty of other stories on this site that you'll like. But if that sounds fun to you, then welcome aboard, and I invite you to see what happens when someone becomes a System Supervillain.
8 95The one always Forgotten
Marcus lived a hard life but he holds no regrets for anything he has done now that he has been given a second chance what will he do with it will he continue down his path once more or this time will he do more with his life and make use of his skills in a way he thought not possible for him will he finally be accepted?
8 182My Step Brother Is A Player!©
Tristan Meyers is my step brother... His dad is married to my mom and I despised him, a lot. He hits on my friends and flirts heavily with me even though he knows were legally siblings by marriage. Total asshole. He also knows I hate his guts and that's an advantage for him to annoy and tease me and he's enjoying it, then something bad happen, I'm starting to fall for him... Oh boy. My Step Brother Is A Disaster is now posted in my page:) MSBIA series!
8 218Leah's Writer's Room
Want to ask me questions? See my behind the scenes? Even see my upcoming story sneak peeks? Here you can request for a chapter read request as well as critique. There's even something better-talking to me about anything you want!
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