It was confirmed by the tribe's healer that I was pregnant. Two days later it had not really sunk in, it had not cracked the shell protecting my reality.

I didn't know what to think. Actually, I didn't want to think about my situation anymore as my thoughts were swirling dangerously in my head. How was Zachan going to react? The tribe? The realization that my sisters, my family will never know this child. My body was going to be changing. Was I ready to be a mother? Would I be a good one? Childbirth. My mothers death from childbirth. Would I have the same fait?... was I ready for this?

As bad as it sounded in my head, and to anyone ... did I even want this yet?

It was a constant droning of noise in my mind I could not quiet. It was making it hard to sleep at night. So whenever my thoughts decided to stop, I was allowed to fall asleep, and last night it took what seemed like hours.

Yet I could not sleep in, like I wanted because I felt a hand shaking my shoulder.

"Aleenia," Jaida was softly calling to me, still rocking my shoulder back and forth. My eyes squinted open before closing shut again. It was barely morning, I could tell from the lack of brightness.

"Aleenia," Jaida coaxes again," wake up, he's back."

I groan, rolling over," What?"

I hear the tinkering sound of her laughter." Zachan, he's back. They have just arrived this morning."

Seconds pass as I register the words. Once they do I shoot out of bed, everything forgotten in an instant knowing he was back. I brush past Jaida, not bothering to change or put boots on as I run out of my bedroom, out of my tent. Jaida was calling after me.

The sun had nearly finished rising as I emerged. I turn left to where the start of the south trail leads, where Zachan had took off for his journey months ago.

Yet I did not have to go far as I saw through the glare of the rising sun a figure walking towards me. A smile graced my face as I found myself running towards them, not caring about the loose rocks my bare feet tread on.

Zachan dropped the leather bag of his shoulder onto the ground, his arms already reaching out for me. I could hear his laughter through the wind rushing past my ears.

We collided and he took most of the impact, his strong arms wrapping around my waist and lifting my feet off the ground. My legs on instinct wrap around his hips, locking behind him. My arms loop around his neck, and tears I did not know I was shedding dampen his hair.

" I missed you..." I whisper into his neck, my nose smelling his familiar scent of rain and pine needles.

"I missed you to, Lena," He says back, his mouth pressed into my hair as he kisses my head.

We stay intertwined for a few more seconds before I feel Zachan adjusting his arms, letting my body fall back a bit so we can be face to face. He wastes no time in kissing me, gentle yet firmly. Surprisingly he was clean-shaven.

Pulling apart I smile, looking into his eyes, bright and happy. I reach up and leave a lasting kiss on the side of his forehead, before unwinding myself from his body. He places me gently back on my feet.

"Lena... where are your shoes?" he asks, as I look up to see his focus on the ground.

I blush, realizing then I was so excited I run out in nothing but my pale purple sleeveless nighty. Luckily no one else was around to witness that. Goosebumps were starting to appear on my bare arms from the chill of the morning.

"I forgot them..." I try and shrug it off, but Zachan chuckles, amused.

"Step on my boots," he says casually, reaching down and collecting his bag before slinging it over his shoulder.

"What?" I let out a confused laugh.

With out words he pulls me to him, forcing me to do as he says. My toes feel cool on his soft leather boots, and my arms wind themselves around his torso, my head pressed firmly to his chest. His heart beats against my ear, a sound I had missed falling asleep to.

As Zachan starts walking I can not help but laugh," This is strange, put me down."

" No, I like this," Zachan says back, craning down and placing another kiss on my head. The gesture makes my smile widen.

The walk back to our tent was short thankfully, as I feared my feet would be crushing his. Entering, Jaida is at the threshold, a small smile on her face. Zachan greets her with a nod of his head, which she returns. She then leaves a few seconds later, giving us some privacy.

We make our way into the bedroom and I sit on the end of the bed, watching as Zachan unloads his bag from his shoulders, as well as the thick furs around them.

Being back in the bedroom, my happiness of his return is starting to be clouded by panic. I was carrying his child... and I had no idea on how he would be reacting to that piece of information. We had not discussed having a child seriously. From the fact Zachan was the future chief it was assumed we would be having a child, that we would need to. Over the past couple of months Zachan and I would have lighthearted conversations, making jokes on what a child of ours would be like. Probably more stubborn then the both of us combine, he had thought.

As these thoughts were invading my head, I didn't realize I was daydreaming. I did not notice when Zachan had crouched in front of me and was turning my chin to look to his face. He was studying mine intently.

"What are you thinking, Lena?" He asks softly, searching my face for answers I was not giving. Not waiting anymore he leans forward, hands grabbing my hips as he laces kisses on my neck.

I let out a sigh, the feeling overwhelming me for a moment. I had missed this, and that moment I wanted nothing more for him to keep distracting me. Yet this wasn't him distracting me, it was his way of coaxing information from me. A form of exquisite torture.

His lips begin tracing the line of my throat, my head tipping back, my lower lip caught between my teeth, "Lena..." he whispers, his kisses getting lower.

It was working; everything in my body wanted me to blurt out the words. Yet fear was a vice stopping me from doing just that. It was stronger.

I tried to spill it out none the less," I-" I stutter out, and Zahcan stops his wanderings with his mouth against my collarbone. His eyes meet mine and my heart clenches." I... just missed you... I'm afraid you're going to be leaving soon again."

His stare softens, and his eyes trail away from my face to my lap as he speaks," I am not leaving for a while now Lena," he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips," I promise."

I force a smile and nod, bringing up my free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair shaping his face behind his ear. It had grown a lot from his journey, and he would probably be cutting it shoulder length again soon.

" Now," Zachan places his hand back on my hips and lifts me slightly, pushing my body further up on our bed. I laugh as he joins me, hovering over my body with elbows bowed either side of my shoulders. His lips capture mine again in a kiss before he gives me a rare full toothy grin and trails his lips back down to where they were before.

"Now?" I question, a little breathless as he reaches my throat.

He pauses for a second to reply," I show my wife how much a missed her."

A let out a small chuckle but it turns into a sigh as my husband pulls down my nightie slightly, and kisses the valley of my breasts. It wouldn't be long until he would be pulling off the nightie entirely.

My hand goes to weave itself in his hair, and I use my nails to gently scratch his scalp. I knew he liked this and I am rewarded with a groan.

Yet with all the pleasure, guilt surrounds it. In a way I was lying to him. For a husband who puts truth on such a high pedestal, his wife certainly knew how to keep secrets.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.---.

I awoke sprawled on my bed, my naked form partially covered by furs.

Zachan and I had fallen asleep after our reunion, yet he was no longer beside me. From the coldness of the bed to my right he had left a while ago. I sigh, gathering the furs around me as I sit up, my muscles sore.

I close my eyes, frustrated with myself from my weakness, my fear. I should have told him, now when I do he will know I kept it from him.

Jaida suddenly appears in my room. Her hair was braided beautifully, two woven braids either side of her head, the ends having tiny daisies and cornflowers placed between the strands. She wears a simple elegant gown of pale yellow with a small leather belt around her waist. She also holds a small woven basket filled with flowers. Her cheeks pinked slightly when seeing me clearly naked under the furs, Zachan and I's activities becoming obvious, but she says nothing and comes forward.

She eyes me cautiously," Did you tell him?"

My eyes drift from hers to the ground and I shake my head.

Jaida thankfully says nothing more on the subject and walks to the other side of my room, to the chest filled with my clothes.

"The welcome feast is about to begin, Zachan already left to help prepare... I said I would get you ready."

I nod again, words seeming to leave me from exhaustion and nerves. Jaida picks for me a dark purple figure cut dress, with the hem detailed in embodied blue and pink patterns of tribal lines and triangles. She then does my hair, two woven braids with daisies in-between that lead to a bun. A magenta rose is placed either side of it.

All the while I was looking at myself in the mirror, my under eyes dark, my face looking sullen. I was afraid to go to the feast tonight, knowing that I was not only not telling Zachan, but the rest of the Ukan tribe as well. My biggest fear that word had already gotten out...

"Beautiful," I see Jaida smile to herself through the mirror as she pats the side of my hair. She locks eyes with me, giving an encouraging smile that I try and return. She places a hand my shoulder," You are ready."

As we emerge out of the tent, dusk was half way through its course. I could already hear the music and cheery cries coming from the middle of the haven. The celebration had already begun.

I halted noticing my hands shaking. What if they already knew I was pregnant? I knew Jaida and the healer would not say a word, but what of Tula had gossiped about her suspicion? Nearly all the tribe would know by then if she had.

Oh God... what if they had said something to Zachan assuming he already knew. My heart was beating faster.

"Aleenia?" Jaida was a few paces in front of me, already heading to the celebration. She eyes me warily.

" I need to go for a walk, I shall join you soon." I was already turning to the forest.

"I will come with you," She says, but I turn in my rush to get out of here, shaking my head at her.

"No, no... I just need to be alone right now."

I don't wait for her protest as I walk ahead, finding some comfort as the tall trees surround me. Hiding me from everything and everyone.

I let my mind try and stray into nothingness as I walk, finding my destination Zachan and I's log. It didn't work though. Sitting down the tears unleash themselves.

I don't know how long I sat there crying, but I was getting cold as my long sleeves were of thin material, and did little to keep my warm. I was wearing this dress with intention of being surrounded by people and hot bonfires. Not sitting in the middle of the forest on a late winters evening.

I had to be strong and get through the feast, and if no one had spoken of my pregnancy, I would tell Zachan tonight.

I try an even my breathing to compose myself, stopping the tears and wiping the old ones away from my eyes.

"Lena!"

My head whips up at my name being called and Zachan had appeared, approaching me. He is wearing his more formal clothes to, a pale bear fur over a loose cream shirt, long trousers with an intricate tribal pattern slip fabric between his legs. His face was full of concern.

I turn my head away, my hands on instinct frantically trying to rid myself of the sticking tears under my eyes and on my cheeks.

A palm turns my head foreword and Zachan's face is in front of mine, his thumb wiping away a loose tear. He is crouched before me with his body tense and a face full of confusion.

"Lena," He whispers, leaning forward to kiss the side of my mouth before pulling back," tell me what is wrong."

Like a child when asked that question I cry again, not being able to help the emotion that builds up to breaking point.

"I... should have told... you something this morning," I get out between hiccupped sobs, my breaths becoming quick and uneven," I lied... and ... I should have told... you, but... I was ...scared."

I didn't know if he understood my loose string of words that came tumbling out of my mouth. But he crouches there in front of me silently for a while, as I try and get my breathing back to normal.

After a minute my husband finally speaks, hands grabbing mine sat in my lap," You should not me scared to tell me things, Lena... but if you are scared to speak the truth, my mother use to help me speak my truths or fears when I was scared or sad."

The mention of his mother surprises me, as he does not speak of her often, if not at all. My eyes, down cast, peek upwards to see Zachan's face a neutral mask as he looks to me.

"She would have me sit down, and we would both close our eyes..." his eye lids close and I silently follow, sealing my own eyes shut," She would then lean her forehead on mine."

Zachan's hand cups the back of my head as he brings our foreheads together, his skin warm to the touch. His nose nuzzles mine for a few seconds before he stills, his breathe hot against my face.

"She would then ask me what is wrong..." he states quietly, and I understand the following silence is waiting for an answer to that indirect question. My hands clench harder to his, and my eyes close tighter as I do.

"I'm pregnant..." I whisper, my heart thumping so loudly I wondered if Zachan could hear it.

Zachan had no immediate physical reaction, as his forehead still rested on my mine and his hand remained at the back of my head. The silence that followed was terrifying, and I kept my eyes closed shut, not prepared to open them.

I didn't have to though as I felt the lightest feather like kiss on my lips. My eyes fluttered open in surprise as Zachan pulls his hand from mine and wraps his arms around me.

"Are you sure?" he mummers shyly in my ear, and I find myself nodding.

"Yes, the healer confirmed it two days ago."

He pulls back, hands resting on my shoulders before running up to lay then on the back of my neck to bring my head forehead. He kisses me again, this one deep and passionate, and I kiss him back just as so. Pulling apart he has a bright smile that seems contiguous, yet it turns slightly confused as he cocks his head to the side.

"Why were your scared to tell me?"

I flush, almost embarrassed now from my previous thoughts," we barely discussed having children, I did not know if you wanted one so soon."

His face falls a bit yet only into a small closed lipped smile. He grabs my hands again, fiddling with my fingers.

"I did not expect this to happen so soon... but I am happy, are you happy?"

I smile at him, nodding just once," Yes, I am, especially if you are."

He fully smiles again and makes a move to stand, hands still locked with mine he pulls me up with him. He hugs me again with his arms around my waist, and this time I hug him back, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off me.

Pulling apart Zachan grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together tightly before bring the back of my hand to his lips. He then proceeds to gently tug me in the direction that leads back to the haven. We walk side by side, my body very close to his for his warmth.

" Do we tell everyone tonight?" He asks, looking down at me.

I hesitate with my answer, feeling a little uneasy again," I don't feel quite up to doing that tonight, Zachan..."

He gives my hand a tight squeeze," Me either," he reassures, probably sensing my anxiety," besides, tonight is to celebrate the return from our journey, and I fear if we say something the feast will turn into a celebration of our child."

I quirk a small smile," Any excuse for another feast."

Zachan laughs, hearty and deep that always makes me feel better," Of course...," he looks down to me again, our gazes catching," you look beautiful tonight."

I blush, hiding a bashful smile as I nuzzle my face until his arm, my other hand joining the one already holding his.

We end up walking back quietly to the haven. Even though Zachan's reaction was of joy, something was still niggling and nagging in the back of my mind. I felt happy to, but another feeling would not leave me, and it felt like this uncomfortable dread.

Hope you guys liked that chapter; and hope you liked Zachan's reaction. What did you guys think?

Also last chapter forgot to say thanks for over 100K reads, thanks so much for staying with the story even though I started like 2 years ago.

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Update will hopefully be soon again.

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