《Land Before Love.》CH14- Lost and Found
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"What are you doing, Aleenia?" I hear Mr. Larkin ask the question once again as I am in his company. Everyday I have spent here since 'he' left and he asks that same exact question. He wasn't asking what I was doing now, as I was currently doodling in my sketchbook. No, it was more along the lines of what are you doing with your life.
That, I don't have an answer to. As my life did not feel like my life anymore. It belonged to someone else now. And if doing nothing was the last freedom I had, I would take it. Or that is the thoughts of a woman deprived of company or proper communication. I didn't eat much anymore and I slept like a bear in winter.
I want to answer him back with a harsh reply, but the spark that was in me feels snuffed out. I was an empty chasm.
When I still don't answer, Mr. Larkin sighs, going back to whatever he does. Signing and filling out papers.
Time passes and I sit there blankly. I am not sure how much time has passed since 'he' left. It's become a blur, as I just take one day at a time now. I don't bother looking forward to anything, as I have nothing in the future that would interest me anymore.
I get up from my seat across Mr. Larkin's desk. I hear him mumble a goodbye before I exit the tree house. I lazily get down from the roped ladder and head back to the haven.
The unbearable chill has softened, the snow barely falling from the sky anymore. It was nice I suppose, not having to tighten my furs around my shoulders. But I knew that winter was thawing, and I don't think my new constant mood would match the brightness of spring.
I neared the Tala River to cross and I noticed today a small child crouched by the side. It wasn't unusual to see, as on occasion I witnessed a few children playing by the river. They would watch me with uncertain eyes as I passed by, but when I was far enough away I heard them playing once again.
However today this little boy was alone and looked younger then usual. His little brown pants were baggy, and his small black and white fur was consuming his shoulders. He had gathered a few pebbles and was throwing them into the water, as if trying to skip them across the surface. I slowed myself, not wanting to scare him.
About to announce myself the ledge of muddy dirt gives way under his feet, he tumbles into the river.
My heart beats painfully in my chest and I don't think twice before racing to the river. Dropping my heavy fur I enter the cold water. I knew how cold it was; yet my body was still not prepared for the shock. My breaths came out short and I could tell the boy was having the same struggle as he scrambled to stand.
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I scooped him up under his arms. Once out of the water he started to whimper, his limbs flailing. Carrying him as I shuffled through the current, I placed him safely back on land before I climbed out.
Even though my skin was crawling with shivers and battling numbness, I crouched to his level.
"Your alright..." I said gently, knowing he probably didn't understand a word I said. But I hope my tone was enough to soothe him in the slightest.
He continued to cry as I cooed to him, reassuring him he was okay. He looked to be 2 to 3 years old. I wondered why he was alone. But I knew children sometimes wander away for a second and can't be found for a long time. It certainly was like that when I helped raise my sisters. The horrible thought that was racing through me is if I wasn't here. What would have happened to him, what would I have found instead?
I push away the thought, untying the soaked furs around his shoulders. He doesn't protest thankfully. I grab my heavy fur and wrapped it around him. It was almost funny to see such a small boy buried in fluffy furs.
He rubs his eyes, his sobs still coming full force. But when he opens them he looks at me. They were wide and alert. I smile at him, rubbing up and down the sides of his arms under the furs." Your alright." I repeat.
His crying subsides and I gently pick him up. I ignore my own freezing self as I carry him over the river.
He wiggles slightly every now and then. At first I thought he was trying to walk or get free. But realized it was him snuggling into the warmth that surrounded him. He sniffled every now and then and I just hoped he wouldn't get sick from his fall into the river.
Bordering the haven I realize I have no way to ask the boy where his home is, or his family. Instead I decided to walk back to my tent, where hopefully Jaida will be and she can communicate with him.
However halfway through my journey a group of women were standing in the open area of the haven. As I got closer I noticed one woman was crying, frantically talking to some other young children who looked guilty, standing unsure on their feet. The other women were trying to console her, and I recognized one of them as Seanne.
She was the first one to notice my approaching figure. Her eyes widen in surprise before she seems to visibly relax." Tula..." She consoles the woman, pointing to my direction.
The woman was quite young, and when seeing me she gasps, pushing past the others. I feared I would drop the boy as he was ripped from my arms, by which I was assuming was his mother. She cries harder, holding him tight to her chest, rocking back and forth for her comfort and his. Although the boys eyes were wide and looking confused about his hysterical mother.
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The other women smile in a small celebration, patting the backs of mother and son.
Seanne approaches me." Where was he?"
I gulp, crossing my arms against the cold as my source of warmth was now gone. Seanne was still intimidating to me, even more from the fact she had kidnapped me not long ago.
"Tala River, he was on the edge watching something and the dirt gave way under his feet." I explain, looking over Seanne's shoulder to watch the women slowly disperse back to their tents, the incident forgotten.
Seanne looks me up and down, noticing the bottom half of my dress. It was soaked and dripping water as I stood there. My feet would probably be blue when I took off my boots.
" You got him out?" she questions.
"Yes..." I say slowly not sure what her tone was suggesting." He would have froze to death or drowned... and I know all to well what that water is like."
Seanne flinches at my words, and a part of me regrets them. As I know she had nothing to do with Kern trying to drown me. But she joined him in kidnapping me, not doing anything as her brother slit my ankles and dragged me through the forest.
"Aleenia..." her voice was now laced with remorse but I was too cold and frustrated to hear the rest of what she had to say.
"I'm going back to my tent." I shortly reply, turning on my heel.
.-.-.-.-.--.-.--.-.-.-
Jaida was making a fuss over me as I retuned yet again soaked by the Tala River. I was stripped bare and huddled in furs. Sitting by the fire pit in my room I watched the flames dancing. I was still shaking, as 'he' was not here this time to warm me up.
I didn't want to speak his name or even think it. It made me angry to hear it to. He had left with out a goodbye to anyone. When I was forced to leave my people I didn't get a chance at a farewell. Here, he had all the support of the people he knows and cares about and he still left...
I told myself grief did things to people. Strange things...like running away. But what right did he have to say I was doing the same thing, by not running from pain like him, but hiding from it. The thought makes me grab my furs tighter, my knuckles turning white. He didn't know me, he doesn't know what it feels like to be a fish out of water. An outsider.
"Aleenia..." Jaida slowly walks over, a clay cup in hand. Steam swirls off of it." This should warm you."
I take the tea, using both hands to heat my frail fingers." Thank you..."
" You are very lucky you found Cayne, small children have wondered off before and were not seen again..." Jaida tells me, unfolding my wet clothes and hanging them by the fire on the back of a wooden chair that normally sits in the corner.
I nod in agreement, wandering if she will understand my want for silence. I didn't feel like talking anymore.
"His cousins were supposed to look out for him, but you turn your back for one moment and-" Jaida seems to struggle for a word.
"And they are gone." I finish, taking a sip of tea. I burn my tongue.
"Yes, gone." She says, smiling like usual, taking a mental note of the word." Tula was filled with worry, he is her second child, the first one she lost at birth... she is very thankful..."
Jaida's last words leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and it's not from my burnt taste buds. " She didn't seem very thankful..." I mutter, remembering the way in which I wasn't looked at twice before they left.
Jaida stops what she is doing." The women here are..." Jaida pauses looking for the right thing to say." Cautious of you, you are from a different land."
"I'm harmless." I state, looking at Jaida, she seems a little flustered now.
"I know that." She laughs forcefully. When she sees me eyeing her,she sighs." You sit aside from them Aleenia. They feel uncertain about you. It's been months and you do not even know their names."
"Its not easy when I can't speak your language-" I start to say before Jaida cuts me off.
"Then you can learn, like I learn yours." She says, frustration evident in her raised voice." Or let me translate for you. You sit here and do nothing all day. That is no way to live."
I stare wide-eyed at Jaida, never before had she raised her voice at me. Then her eyes widen, as if she just realized what she said.
"I..." She stumbles on her next words." I shall get you some food..."
Jaida leaves before I could say anything else. But to be honest I wouldn't know what to say. Did she have a point?... yes. A good point that has my stubborn side revolting against it. Why did I deserve appreciation when I give none in return to the woman surrounding me?
Jaida was right. And I sulked.
My eyes return to the fire pit. The fire was made up from wood, stacked together to make a small pyramid. Around it lay a circle of pebbles and stones to keep everything under control. The stones remind me of the ones the little boy, Cayne, was throwing into the river... An idea flashed in my mind as I looked at the stones. And when Jaida came back I asked for some supplies.
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