***one month later***

It's been a month. I chose not to eat around Jayy. I got tired of Jayy telling me to eat around people. So one day I decided to tell Jayy I don't like eating around people. Well I told him a lie. I really told him I think I get anxiety from eating around so many people. So, Jayy didn't really care anymore that I didn't eat in the cafeteria. Instead, I pretend I'm eating the hallways, when really I'm walking in the hallways. I'll still exercise in the gym. Sometimes I'd make myself throw but not as much as I use to. Only when Jayy makes me eat at his house. I think I lost weight. I haven't weighed myself since that day. No one makes fun of me anymore. Not even C.J. Jayy thinks I've lost to much weight but I don't believe him. My mom was getting worried. C.J didn't really seem to care. I don't know why, but the voice in my head says to keep losing weight or I'll get even more big. My style also changed a little. I still talk to Jinx, but when Jayy's around he makes some excuse up, so we can leave. I don't know why Jayy does that. Sometimes I think he's jelous, but Jayy doesn't get jelous.

Right now, it's Saturday and Jayy and I are at his house in his room. I was on the floor while Jayy was hanging upside down on his bed next to me. Jayy was wearing a white shirt with a blue peace sign on it and blue skinny jeans. I was wearing black skinny jeans and a hot pink shirt with hello kitty on it. I had black converse while Jayy had blue to match his shirt. I teased my hair this time. It was my first time. I'll try wearing it like this to school. When Jayy first saw me dressed like this, he said I was getting more girly, so I slapped him.

"I'm hungry!" Jayy finally said to brake the silence. "Damn boy. Didn't you just eat before I got here?"

"Yea, but I eat when I'm bored." I rolled my eyes. Jayy's phone started to ring. I think it was a text message. He laughed, "Yo, Violet. Check out this pic Nate sent me."

He handed me his phone, but Jayy somehow slipped off the bed. His lips smashed onto my collar bone. Jayy quickly got up and sat on his bed frozen. His cheeks went deeply red. I didn't do anything. I was waiting for Jayy to say something. He nervously ran a hand through his messy hair. "Er, I'm.... Uh.... Sorry?"

I shook my head in amusement. Jayy smiled. "it's ok, Jayy. Just forget it happened. Ok?" he shrugged. I took that as a yes anyways. "What was the picture you were gonna show me?" he got off the bed and sat on the floor next to me. "it's not important." Jayy got closer. Too close. I looked up at Jayy. Our eyes locked. "Uhm.... What time is it?" I asked. I was hoping to go home already. Jayy was making me nervouse.

Jayy looked at his phone. "six." he said. I faked a smile. I pretended I was comfortable, when in the inside I was screaming to leave. I wanted my mom to call me. To tell me to come home. But I told her I would be home when I feel like it. I didn't tel herl like if I was being mean. Jayy gentally grabbed my wrist, the one that had the bracelet that he got me. He looked at the bracelet. He smiled. "Do you ever take that shit off?"

"No! Why would I?" he shrugged. I suddenly felt comfortable of being around him again. He rested his head on my shoulder. "I'm bored!" Jayy shouted.

"Me too." he looked up at me. His eyes sparkled. He grabbed my arm and waved it around. "Your skinny." I pushed him away. "Shut up Jayy. No I'm not. You are." I looked away. "Violet, look at me." I looked at him. He got closer. He closed his eyes and leaned in. Oh, no I wasn't sure what to do. Either kiss him or push him away.

My phone suddenly started ringing. I felt relieved and answered it. Jayy was just right there "Hello."

"Violet! Where's my remote to my x-box!" it was C.J

"it's in my room under my bed. I hid it from you because of that day you pissed me off."

He hung up without a goodbye. He always does that. I put my phone back in my pocket after looking at the time. It was 6:30. Jayy sat there with a nervous look on his face.

"Jayy?" I asked. He didn't answer. "Jayy." he still didn't answer. "JAYY!!!!" he still didn't answer. I slapped him my hardest.

"Ow! What the hell was that for!"

"You were daydreaming!!!" I yelled back. That bastard! He always daydreams. "it's getting late. Maybe I should leave." before Jayy could say anything, I ran out of that house very quick. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go to the gym. I wanted to go home and weigh myself and maybe later think about why Jayy would want to kiss me. I stopped running and started walking.

***27 minutes later***

27 minutes later I was finally home. I walked upstairs, ignoring my mom and brother. I felt like a zombie. I was shaking. My heart was beating fast. I was thinking about the way Jayy looked at me. The way he looked when he was about to kiss me. I shankingly walked into my bathroom. I stood on the scale. I looked down. I weighed 90 pounds. I shankingly smiled. I think I would be happy, but I kept thinking about Jayy.

I walked into my room. I laid down on my bed. I cleared my thoughts about Jayy. I thought about of how much I weighed. I thought maybe 'I still shouldn't eat. So that way I won't weigh 135 pounds again.' I was scared to weigh that much again.