I couldn't tell what I was feeling. Was I feeling anything in the first place? Or was I feeling so much that it felt like nothing at all?

I don't know.

I can't answer.

... and I no longer care.

To have feelings or not all depended on my mate, on my Beatrice, on her love for me. I was dying, drowning in sorrow of my curse having been tortured four hundred years by humans and then killing Sylvia and then what happened in the fairy realm...

It was only because of her that I didn't fall into the dark world of despair and true self-loathing.

Now... now no one was here to drag me out of the crashing darkness that was filling my soul. Memories washed through me reminding me of the pain and suffering I have been through and how Beatrice had saved me from it all. But now she wasn't, now she couldn't.

Sounds like thunder crackled around me and I blankly looked up to the sky to find creatures with wings protruding from their backs starting to descend. I couldn't get myself to care long enough to find out where they were headed.

"Damn it, how the hell did those damn Celestials get in here?" Viktor growled making a spasm run through my body.

My heart beat sped up, my mind flooded with a single feeling and need.

Kill him.

He killed her.

Kill him.

It's his fault.

Kill him.

...

I'm going to.

So much rage filled me. So much, hate and anger and pain. It made me tremble as I held tightly to Beatrice in my lap. I felt something crawling over my body, a weight tugged down from my back between my shoulder blades. I didn't care what was happening to me. All I could concentrate on was my anger.

I turned my head and looked at Viktor who was staring at me looking incredulous. Was he scared? Why now? No... who cares...

I stood up picking up Beatrice to hold her in my arms only partially taking notice of the black bone-like substance covering my torso and both my arms completely. I stared at Viktor as everything sudden went black until shades of white and grey outlined my new world... how fitting.

A grumble rose from within me and I felt it vibrate through my chest. It sounded like when Anon was in his wolf form and growling at something he thought a threat, but it came from me and sounded a lot for monstrous.

Viktor took a few steps back away from me as the blackness under his skin paled.

"Vaden?" I turned my head to see Aviva staring wide eyed at me. Fear and shock made unusual expressions on her face that I've never seen before. Whatever.

I walked to her but didn't feel the ground. I looked down at her when I was in front. I was easily three heads taller than her, but I couldn't get myself to care for the why or how. I placed Beatrice into her arms when I forced her to raise them. Barely a thought passed through my mind when I didn't even open my mouth to speak to tell her, only that I demanded it of her to.

Was I breathing? I couldn't tell, but I think I took in a breath when I turned to Viktor and felt my insides churned.

Kill him. Take his blood. Kill him. Take his life. Kill him. Eat him. Bleed him... Kill him.

Pillars around us shattered while large fissures were sent scattering through the stone ground when I let out a piercing roar even louder than that of Khal Zhavorsa's.

Kill him.

Everything went black.

*

Words filtered through my mind in a voice I've never heard before. It was light, warm and soft, but I felt too dead to feel any of it. So I just listened.

Live. You have to live. Survive. Run. Don't let the demons or Celestials find you. Don't die. Fight it. Find her. Protect her. Don't let it consume you. Complete the ritual.

You have to live Vaden, for all of us.

...

...

...

Why should I?

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