My body twists and turns. Something's not right? I feel so uncomfortable. My legs feel cold and I feel empty. I stretch out my arms on the mattress and I feel nothing. I quickly shoot my eyes open and there's no one by my side. I sit upright and stare down at the vacant space.The room spins instantly. He's not here! Where did he go? What's going on? I remember watching Friends with Benefits with him just a few minutes ago, I swear. And I was curled up near his chest and...Oh no! Shit! I must of fell asleep! But why am I back here? In my own bed? In my own room...I need to know what's going on here! This best not be a fucking dream! I grab onto the the cover and flap it over my sunken body.

My pajamas? What happened to Kyle's t-shirt I was wearing earlier? I strain my neck over my bed, in hope that I might notice it on the floor. But my room is clean, with no clothing in sight. I jump out the bed and the room starts spinning again, my legs start fell like Jell-O. Before I know it, my hands and knees collapse onto the floor as I tightly shut my eyes to prevent any more dizziness. My stomach aches and turns like a possessed washing machine and I feel it ride up my throat and close to escaping my lips. I quickly get up, rush out the room and in the toilet. I kneel on the freezing ground, lift up the toilet seat and bow my head down as the unwanted vomit eludes my mouth.

Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

I quickly have my shower and throw on my pink Adidas tracksuit. I'm feeling quite hungry so I slug down the stairs and head for the kitchen where my Mom is sat on the stool with a coffee in her hand and the paper in the other. As soon as I walk into the kitchen, she shoots her eyes at me.

"Aww baby," she croons as she leaps off the stool and pulls me into a warm Mom-like hug.

I keep my arms by my side and my vision on one fixed spot. I can't believe he's left me. My heart leaps into my mouth and my eyes start to well up but I refuse to start the waterworks. She holds me at arm's length and gazes at me but my eyes never leave that fixed spot.

"He said he didn't want to wake you," she softly whispers.

My lips part a little but nothing comes out. My throat starts to ache and I feel a single tear stream down my face.

"He said he didn't want to see you cry when he left," she continues.

Well this hurts way more. "He bought you here in his car when you were asleep and said that he's really sorry and that he'll miss you. A lot."

More tears start to stream down my cheeks and my lips remain parted. Why would he hurt me like this? "Did he say he was going to call?" I finally croak, my voice barely audible.

"No honey but I promise you he will."

"No one sticks to their promises," I mutter before I walk past her and switch the kettle on.

I lean on the table as I listen to the sound of the water boil with fury and the music on the radio. Why did he leave me? And why is he not calling me? Did he land safely? Did he even land? The thought of a plane crash intrudes my thoughts and the sound of the kettle startles me a little. I feel my Mom observe me closely as I pull out the mug, the sugar, tea bags and milk. Kyle Kyle Kyle! Why would you leave me like this? Why are you not calling me? Why did you hurt me? I take my boiling tea and carefully carry it across the room and towards the living room when a very familiar sound crosses my path from the radio.

I know you've been hurt, by someone else. I can tell by the way you carry yourself. My hands starts to tremble under the chant of the hypnotic song. My eyes well again and the tears power down my cheeks as I remember the memory of Kyle and me in the car and he put this song on. My fingers become weak and the mug slips out of my hand and crashes onto the kitchen floor. The hot liquid from the mug, burning the ends of my toes. Oh shit! Now look what I've done! I collapse on my hands and knees again and gaze at the shattered pieces and the liquid quickly filling the floor. I feel my Mom's arms pull me up from the floor and lead me to the lounge. I gaze at all the furniture around me as if I've never seen them in my life. The memory of when I punched Kyle in here drains my brain cells and makes my heart break a little more at his beautiful penetrating stare.

I pull my knees up to my chest and watch the tears run down my cheeks and kiss the beautiful fabric off my tracksuit. I pull out my phone from my pocket, rest it on the armchair and glare at the screen, waiting for him to call.

"You know a watched phone, never calls," my Mom nervously laughs as she pushes a glass of water in front of me but I ignore it completely, so she steadily places it on the table.

"Why did he do this to me?" I breathe as I gaze at the water in the glass and never dare to take my eyes off it.

"I'm sure he never done it to hurt you. Pretty much to protect you."

"Mamá, creo que podría amarlo." I sob. She carefully takes a place next to me and wraps her arms around my cold worn out body.

"Sasha. You are so strong and so independent. I don't want to see you fall apart like this. I know this guy means a lot to you and I know you mean a lot to him." I separate my lips a little to object. "The way he carried you to your room with such delicacy and when he watched you sleep on the bed proved that you mean the world to him Sash. Estarás bien cariño."

"He hasn't told me he loves me," I quietly murmur into her chest.

"Honey, you can never know how a guy's mind operates. But let me tell you something. Most of them act all brave when really they're all scared little girls in the inside. Maybe he loves you but it just afraid to tell you."

"You don't know him like I do Mom. He's not afraid of anything."

"How could you possibly say you know someone in the space of a month?"

I tilt my head up and peer at her through my elongated dark lashes.

"How do you know it's been a month?"

"Mother knows everything," She sweetly smiles, then carefully places my head back on my chest just as the doorbell rings.

I dart my eyes towards the door as my mom rises from the couch and slowly exits the room to go answer the it. Please be Kyle! Please be Kyle! I miss you baby. I really do! I hear a faint discussion from the door as I keep my eyes focused on who's going to walk through. My hand tightly gripped onto my phone; waiting for my Romeo to call me. The door finally shuts and footsteps approach, my heartbeat picks up a speed of it's own and my stomach roars for food or some sort of comfort. But it's not him, it's someone I never thought would ever step foot into this house, but I sure have missed her. My eyes dart to the box of chocolates in one of her hands and an over-sized Hollister bag draped around her shoulder. She gazes at me with her clear blue eyes and I sense the water about to approach and overfill the base of my eyes.

"I've missed you Sash," she breathes as she drops her bag onto the floor and gazes at me with sympathy.

I jump off the couch and run over to her then throw my arms around her. She smells of flowers and my most favorite scent. She smells off Lara-hmm! I cry onto er off-the-shoulder woolly jumper then quickly push away when I realize its Ralph Lauren. She takes her designer very seriously. She holds me at arms length and runs her eyes up and down me then screws her eyebrows.

"You look so different. So cold out and almost lifeless. Where's the color in your cheeks? This is not the Sasha I know," she murmurs with tears flowing down her bright rosy cheeks.

"He's left me Lara."

"No he hasn't, he'll be back in two months."

"He didn't even say good-bye."

"Maybe because he knows 'good-byes' hurt."

"He hasn't called me at all. No messages. Nothing."

She leads me back to the sofa and sits me down as she carefully places the box of chocolates onto the coffee table. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small envelope then hands it over me. I stare at the envelope for a long period of time before I grasp onto it and start to carefully open it. He's decided to send me a letter instead? Please let this be a letter from Kyle. I open the neatly folded paper and my heart sinks when it's not from him:

*

The son of a bitch! I told him to but out of my tuition business.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Kyle paid the remaining $100,000 of my tuition fee," I silently breathe as anger fills me.

"You lucky little bitch! You have this boy spending for you to stay in the school with him."

"No! He done it so he can prove that he can."

"Why are you so negative? One minute you're missing him and the next you're planning to do something evil to him when he comes back."

"Who said I was planning anything?" I gasp.

"Sasha I know you." She raises her brow at me like she's just unleashed pure evil.

"Hey what's with the big bag?" I point out.

She glances at the bag then locks eyes with me. Oh she's not leaving me and all is she?

"Would it be okay if I can crash here?" I part my lips a little to reply. "Just for today!" she quickly continues before I can object.

"Erm yeah sure! But why?"

"Mom and her boyfriend are really starting to get on my nerves," Lara sighs as she runs her fingers through her hair and drops her gaze away from me.

"You can stay here as long as you like," I quietly murmur, my voice still slyly hoarse.

She happily claps her hands like an overexcited seal then leans in and wraps me into a tight hug. But instead of embracing her hug, my eyes shoot to the box of chocolates carefully resting on the coffee table with a small sparkly silver bow on the top of the box. "Erm. Are those box of chocolates for eating or are they just there for display?" I flutter my eyelashes at her in an attempt to look innocent and ingenuous.

She reaches for the box and my face lights up with glee. She hands me the box of chocolates and I rapidly lift up the lid to greet the glorious, different-shaped chocolates. Some big, some small. White, dark, milk chocolate. Some in the shape of hearts and others coated in swivelled icing. I greedily take out the one with the silver balls on top and slide it through my lips then twirl it around with my tongue. My heart melts in desire as the soothing flavor hits every wall of my taste buds and makes my stomach beg for more. Another one takes place near my lips before it slides into my ready-for-more mouth, the strawberry filling splashes into my mouth then glides down my throat. I feel so much better already. "Looks like Kyle has some competition with these chocolates," Lara laughs as she stares at her crazy friend scoff down the chocolates until they're all gone.

"Oh sorry. Did you want some?" I question her with guilt as I hold up the annihilated box to show no traces of chocolate left.

She shakes her head a little but still presents with a warm smile. I'm such a pig. "Thank you for the chocolates by the way," I quietly murmur, still a little embarrassed that I scoffed it down my throat without hesitation.

"See how much better you feel already? Who needs to cry a river for boys aye?" she whispers with a big grin on her pretty face.

Kyle....he's not here...not here with me. Where he's supposed to be. I didn't think I would miss him this much. A month ago, this boy meant nothing to me and I wanted nothing to do with him but now I realize I need him more than I can sustain. I guess the chocolates isn't enough to escape the memories of my boyfriend who left me last night and still hasn't called. The soothing chocolates spiral around my stomach, betraying my desperate needs; going against my feelings. Making me remember things. Things I wanted to push aside. The room around me disappears, the furniture vanishes into thin air and Lara's voice drowns in on me. The sound of Kyle's husky coarse voice plays around in my head, overshadowing everything in the lounge. My eyes start to bleed with pain and desperation as I try to blink away the emotions that blurs my sentimental vision. Then the doorbell awakens me from my lost day dream, startling me a little. Who could it be? Kyle maybe? Please be Kyle! Please!!! There's no one it could be...

I spring up from the couch and dash out the room, ignoring that my stomach is ordering me to sit down and rest. I sharply inhale followed by an instant exhale before I place my hand over the door knob and open the door keeping my eyes on the ground. I jerk my arm back with my hand still on the knob and notice the sneakers and the jeans that sink over them. It's a boy! It's him! I dart my eyes up the person and my glee quickly drops when I expect to meet my famous Wolf Penetrators but instead lock into Emerald City. In one hand is a rose bouquet which messes around with my nostrils and a huge grin on his flawless face. But why is here? I haven't spoken to him in a month; what does he want?

"Jake?" I breathe, parting my lips a little then gazing into his comforting smile.

"Sash," he replies."Can I come in?" he questions me. I blink at him before I eventually step away from the door."Yeah sure." I gesture for him to come in as my voice begins to disappear into a whisper.

I swiftly close the door behind him and lead him towards the kitchen where my mom is. Time for a little introduction. "Mom this is Jacob, Kyle's brother." She looks up and leaps off her stool. Jacob smiles back and quickly holds out his hand to greet her.

"Nice to meet you Mrs Pierce," Jacob politely says as he warmly shakes my mom's hand.

"Oh please, Jacob. Call me Yasmin." Oh great! Not Jacob as well.

"Well, I'll just take Jacob to the lounge if that's okay?"

"Of course! Yeah sure!"

I take him to the lounge where Lara is texting away on her phone. This is going to be awkward. She quickly gets up and exits the room as if something private is going on between the two of us. No please don't go! "These are for you," he quietly murmurs as he holds out the roses towards me. I take them from his hand and give him a sweet smile, not knowing what to say.

I bring my legs up to my chest again as I feel his eyes all over me. Wow this is more awkward than I thought it would be. I want Kyle not Jacob! I feel like crying. "You look different," Jacob murmurs. Its only a few minutes later when I realize what he's just said to me.

"I do?" I whisper back, keeping my eye contact far away from his. "Different good or different bad?"

I remember asking him this question when I went to Kyle's party and I was a little over-dressed for the occasion. "Just really different. Almost as if something troubling you."

Troubling me? Who is he, my fucking psychiatrist? I stare outside the window and gaze at the cloudy day. The clouds start creeping in on the sky and the sun disappears underneath. "Its not sunny today," I whisper as I peer closer at the grey substance above.

"Erm...I suppose not."

"What's happened to the sun? It used to come out all the time when Kyle was around." I remain gazing outside as if its my main priority at the moment.

"Sasha are you sure you're okay?"

I turn back to him and screw my eyebrows at him. He was here with me the whole time? And he was talking to me? I hardly remember him even being next to me.

"Sorry. I'm not feeling myself today," I honestly reply. Kyle look what you've done to me...

"I know why you're like this" Oh! Do you now? "it's because of him...Kyle. You're missing him a lot."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You don't need to pretend with me Sash. Please remember I'm always here for you."

He slowly raises his hand and places it on my thigh. I flinch at his actions so he quickly pulls it back. My eyes begin to water again, and this time I can't keep them locked in forever. He carefully brings his hand up to the side of my face and cautiously wipes the single tear away from my suffering cheek with his fragile forefinger. I start to crave for his soothing touch as images of Kyle's sensational touch flashes through my insane mind. I slowly close my eyes and sharply inhale as he moves his fingers to my hair then delicately slides it behind my ear. The temptation to grab his hand and nuzzle it around my panting lips takes over, but I quickly restrain myself, remembering that this is Jacob and not my baby Kyle. You Carlson brothers love playing tricks on me. I delicately push his hand away from me before I do anything I might regret.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go grab something to eat by the deli today. They make the best hot cross buns," he laughs.

My mouth waters at the thought of sweet smelling buns baking in the oven but I'm not in the mood to even stand up let alone grab something to eat my boyfriend's brother.

"I would love to. But you see the thing is-"

"Never mind. I understand you need to rest," he quickly interrupts, pushing himself off the chair then quickly dusting off his jeans. Hmm! Nice Louis Vuitton belt, Kyle has six of those. Oh Kyle, why haven't you called me? I need to hear your sexy voice to comfort me.

I part my lips to object, but nothing comes out. I think my voice is totally lost now.

"If you ever need anything, just call me yeah? I'll be here in a heartbeat," he softly reassures me with his oh-so-sweet Carlson smile. I nod in understanding then watch him as he strides out the room, only to be welcomed by Lara and my mom who stumbles through the door. You have got to be kidding me!

Jacob doesn't say anything, instead he just turns to be and smiles. I shrug my shoulders and smile back not knowing what to say. "Thanks for having me over Mrs Pierce-I mean Yasmin," he softly thanks her before he leaves the house and the front door slams shut behind him. Both Lara and my mom just gaze at me in complete silence, as if they're waiting for me to make a speech of declaration.

"The pair of you are such kids," I hiss in irritation as I quickly glance at my cell phone for any missed calls or un-read texts from Kyle. But still nothing.

"We're sorry. We had to know what was going on. He has it bad for you Sash, I'm telling you," Lara sighs as she leans on the the door then runs her fingers through her perfectly-in-place-hair.

That's almost hilarious.

"Now you've completely lost it."

"He said here's always there for you," Lara exasperates, as if she's stating the obvious and I'm still not understanding.

"Yeah that's what friends do! They look out for each other. And furthermore, I don't need to two of you spying on me! Don't you have anything better to do with your lives?" I yell in frustration.