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Kissing You; Chapter 13;

I literally can't breathe being stuck in this monstrous chair. The awkward silence in the room is so irritating, the noise of the knife and forks hitting off the plates just adds to it more. I never thought having dinner with the Carlsons would be this awkward - I never even thought in a million years I would be here in the first place. I try not to look at my plate - I'm not feeling at all hungry to be honest. My appetite vanished as soon as both the Carlson brother's aura surrounded me like a protected prisoner. I deeply exhale as I noisely place my cutlery down on my plate, unaware of the attention brought onto myself. Oh, Christ. "Sasha, you've hardly touched your food...are you okay?" Jacob whispers.

"I'm not that hungry...that's all."

"Not hungry or just don't want to taste Kyle's cooking!" he bursts out laughing.

I turn my head to Kyle and his head is down facing his food. His fork circling the plate and his hair flops over his vindictive gray eyes, but I can still feel the blazing heat that he's consuming with Jacob's poor-attempt-to-be-funny remark. Why is he being so calm about this? I would expect him to lunge himself at Jacob and rip him into shreds. But obviously something's wrong. Furthermore, why's Jake acting like this? Is he trying to impress me or something? And that smirk he keeps pulling. It looks oh so oddly familiar. "Jacob, was that supposed to be ironic or are you just being an immature idiot again?" Kyle hisses.

"That's enough you two," their father quietly orders.

"Aww did I hurt your feelings, Kyle?" Jacob laughs as he throws his arm over my chair and rests it on the cold resting rail. My body goes into a fixed position as my eyes follow his every movement.

"I don't have feelings," Kyle quietly hisses.

"Not even for Sasha?" he spitefully snarls with a wicked smirk plastered on his face.

"Jacob? What's wrong with you?" I snap as I punch the side of his leg.

"Leave it, Sasha, he probably got dumped by his girlfriend...Oh wait! How can I forget? You don't get any girls! You bring shame upon the Carlson name," Kyle calmly states, locking his eyes with mine then moving them quickly to Jacob and stretching his pressed lips into a sadistic manipulative smirk.

Why aren't their parents doing anything to stop all this? Is this a daily routine...Kyle and Jacob arguing over stupid unnecessary things? Am I the only one that wants them both to just shut the hell up? Jacob slowly forms a smug look on his face and scoffs wickedly, oblivious to the fact that everyone is more than irritated by his childish behaviour. "Bro. How can you even have the audacity to say that I bring shame upon the Carlson name?"

"Is there a relevant point you're trying to make here Jacob? Or are you just upset that Sasha ain't your "dream" girlfriend? Besides you have been chasing her for months," Kyle rapidly backfires.

"Woah guys! Per-lease! There's no need for this. You're supposed to be brothers!" I sternly shriek! Feeling more annoyed than flattered that they're altercation is based around me somehow.

Everyone freezes then stares at me. "Sasha, I was thinking me and you could go to the theater next week to watch a movie," Jacob asks me as he pushes his empty plate away from him then leans back on his chair.

"You was!" Kyle quickly shouts, lifting his head up then bulging out his bright wolf eyes.

"Erm you was?" I confusingly question.

"Yes of course. That's not a problem is it, Kyle?" Jacob sarcastically laughs.

"I don't know why you're still trying," Kyle quietly hisses, keeping his head low but his fists clenched.

"Oh I'm sorry Kyle. What's the problem?It's not as if she's your girlfriend or anything."

"Okay, guys...there's really no need for all this-"

"Don't be getting your hopes up Jacob. We all know who she comes running back to at the end of the day," Kyle slowly whispers with a smug look on his face when Jacob's face goes blank and lifeless. I bury my head in my hands then lightly shake it. My brain feels like it's about to explode due to all this nonsense from Jake and Kyle. I feel my face start to heat up and my palms start to get sweaty. My throat starts to dry up so I take a sip of my water but that still doesn't help.

"Don't talk about Sasha like that! She's not a piece of meat for you two to chase after!" their father yells. I toss my fork on my plate, rest my elbows on the table then rub my temples in circles with my four fingers and deeply exhale while keeping my eyes tightly shut. I feel like my brain is about to burst.

"No need to chase, she's already mine," Kyle murmurs then pulls that sexy smirk at me when I lock my eyes with his. Huh! What? How? When? Did he just say that? I'm his!? Who! Does that mean I'm his girlfriend now, because if I am then - No wait! This is not happening, how did I end up in this situation? And did Jacob just give me Kyle's signature smirk?

Just shut up and stop having hallucinations Sasha! This is what you want, this is what we both want, you're almost there baby girl. He really wants you and you want him, please just get him, please! For both our sakes! Why can't you just accept the fact that he makes you wetter than a soaked up towel!

-Woah woah! What the hell? I do not get wet over Kyle Carlson!

"I mean Kyle I can expect it from, but Jacob! Seriously mate?" their father spits in disgust.

"Can you all please just stop! Please!" I cry out in frustration.

"Aw sweetie are you okay?" his Mom softly asks me as she stands up from her chair then walks over to where I'm sitting.

Do I fucking look okay? No! "Let me take her outside and get some fresh air," Kyle suggests as he rapidly pushes out his chair and quickly stands up.

"No! Allow me!" Jacob insists. He grips hard onto my arm and attempts to drag me up from my chair.

"Ouch Jake that really hurts," I softly wince in pain.

"Jacob! Get the fuck off her dude!" Kyle shouts as he storms over to Jacob and vigorously pushes him away from me. That's a slight relief, his grip was so tight I think it's bound to leave a mark.

"Please I just want to go home," I quietly whimper, standing up from the chair and heading for the door.

"Why does dinner with the Carlsons always end in a disaster!" their father sighs in exasperation.

"I'm so sorry Mr and Mrs Carlson. It's been lovely and I've really enjoyed it, but I feel really sick and I really wanna go home." I apologise then continue to walk out the dining room door.

I feel sick!

"Sasha wait!" Kyle shouts from behind me.

"I'll see myself out!" I cry as I hurry out the door.

No you dumb bitch! Slow down, slow down! Let him catch up to you! Argh! You really over-complicate things... I hear footsteps behind me but I refuse to stop and turn around. I feel him clutch onto my wrist then spin me around to face him. This has become a daily expectation for me nowadays. "Look I'm sorry about what happened back there," Kyle quietly whispers.

"It's okay, I just really need to get home."

"Well let me drive you home. It's pretty dark and I don't want anything happening to you," he reassures me as he pushes a strand of hair away from my face.

I slowly lift my head up then analyse his face. His blazing wolf eyes are soft and calm. The anger and hatred has disappeared and he seems different. Not like himself. "Since when did the bad ass Kyle Carlson care about anything?" I smartly question him with a little smirk on my face.

"Nah I only care about you, because you're the only girl for me Sasha. I mean it," he huskily says as he pulls me closer to him by the waist.

I try hard not to respond. Okay I lied. I don't try at all. I like the way he holds me. It makes me feel sexy, dangerous and wanted. My heart melts and those crazy butterflies are back to invade my stomach again. He's not lying! The softness in his eyes says it all. I can't believe Kyle just said that to me. I'm love struck! "Really?" I quietly ask him with a small smile on my face.

A warm smile creeps up on his face then licks his lips a little. He takes a step closer to me then flicks his hair away from his eyes. "Of course I don't! Ha! I don't do that shit !" he laughs as he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear then softly pushes me away.

Ouch for a hot second there I actually thought I was talking to a decent guy.... Who am I kidding? I quickly plaster on a fake smile then turn on my heel to walk so that he won't see the heartache in my eyes.

"Sasha, don't cry! You're still on my reserve list!" he cheerfully exclaims as if it's funny. My throat becomes soar and I can feel it breaking inside. I keep on walking and don't bother looking back. I feel sick! Or is that just an excuse? "You don't even know the way home Sasha! It's dark, you'll get lost!"

I continue to walk into the darkness.

(KYLE'S POV)

"You don't even know the way home Sasha! It's dark, you'll get lost!" I yell after her. She doesn't bother to reply, or even turn around. She disappears into the darkness, I should probably chase after her. I hope I didn't hurt her feelings that much. She's playing hard to get it, I just know it. But guess what I'm playing the same game. Don't worry Kyle, she'll come running back into your arms again... I turn around then stare the monstrous house down before I stroll towards the door then quietly shut it behind me. I keep my hand on the door knob and my forehead on the cold door then deeply exhale.

"What was that all about?" my father sharply questions me.

I keep my eyes tightly shut then snarl, "Nothing."

"You really care about her don't you?" Kathleen's voice says from behind me.

I hesitate to reply. Why am I hesitating? I said it from the start, I don't care about her, I just want to get her in bed then I'll be satisfied. "Impossible," I coldly reply.

"Then why did you get all emotional when Jacob asked her to the movies?" my father continues.

My eyes shoot open when I hear that name. The blood rushes around my body and I feel it start to boil. My heartbeat starts to get faster for every second and my fists automatically clench themselves. I want her all to myself and I'm not gonna let Jacob walk all over me or even attempt to take her away. "Where is he?" I quietly hiss.

"Okay now Kyle, you should go home now," Kathleen suggests and I taste the terror in her high voice.

"Stop telling me what to do, Kathleen! I don't know who you think you are!" I yell, shoving her out the way then rushing up the stairs. As soon as I reach the top of the stairs, I march up to Jacob's room and push the door open. As soon as he notices me, he shoots up from the bed and smirks.

"Oh hey bro, what's wrong? Did Sasha break up with you? Oh wait, you two weren't even dating!" Jacob laughs before walking towards me.

That's it! Is he forgetting who I am? The rage overtakes me with every step he take closer to me with that smug look on his face. He's laughing at me, I can hear it, he's taking me for some prick who is supposedly going soft for girls. I take a swing at his face. He stumbles a bit to maintain his balance, so I storm towards him and push him onto the wall and grip hard onto the collars of his shirt. "I told you to leave her alone! She's mine!" I growl in his face.

I notice the blood that starts dripping out of his mouth but he still manages to pull an snarl smile. "But she's not, yours is she? You've turned into a right softy haven't you, Kyle? Just wait until everyone hears about this," Jacob chuckles still keeping that smug look on his face.

I pull him away from the wall then push him back on it even harder. "Don't you dare try turn this around on me! If I ever see you talking to Sasha then I swear to God, I will kill you Jacob!"

"Really Kyle?...Just like how you killed her right?" I freeze. I feel the walls start to close in on me as the memories simultaneously start to flood into my head. I remember. I remember the unbearable pain she was in every second of the day. I remember how she begged me. The plead in her clear blue eyes. I remember killing her, then watching as her life slowly slipped away. I've wanted to forget but I just can't. "Run murderer, run!" he spitefully hisses, catching me off guard. Its as if he's picked up a knife and stabbed me directly through my heart and twisted at the core to pierce a deeper wound. I stare helplessly at his emerald eyes - keeping my words at a halt as my throat dries up. The whole room disappears and the only thing surrounding us is the sound of her painful cry before I snatched her life from existence.

"What is going on in here?" Kathleen asks as she storms into the room in her loud heels. My father pulls me by the shoulders and drags me out of the room. I'm fazed as my feet scrape against the carpet out the room My eyes remain on Jacob but my thoughts are somewhere else. He made me remember what I've always wanted to forget. Kathleen hurries over to Jacob and they start talking, she looks traumatised. I can't hear anything anymore. It's like everything is in slow motion and everything starts to disappear around me.

That's how my life has become without her. It's all my fault.

I'm a murderer.

I storm into my room and lay flat on my bed. I run my fingers through my hair then violently punch the wall. I wince a little because of the sting then watch the blood trickle down from my sharp knuckles. Why am I being like this? What's gotten into me? It's not as if I want Sasha, she's just one of them other girls. No she's different, she's amazing she's gorgeous! I want her all to myself. Call me selfish I don't care. But I can't. I'm Kyle Carlson I don't chase girls, girls chase me. I want her! Not because I actually have a crush on her or anything, I just want her...intimately.

Stop lying to yourself Kyle. You can only hide from yourself but for how much longer? Why can't you accept the fact that you love her? She's the one for you! Argh! That word! There's no such thing as love - you of all people should know that...That shit only exists in fairy tales. You're cold hearted and you always have been. You're only gonna crush Sasha's heart if you dare try to get close to her. You're poison Kyle, everything you touch turns against you, then you eventually lose them...

Give up? Or die trying? That's the question you need answer for yourself.

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Debbie Nia Monroe xoxo

"Ohhhhhhhhhh!!! What was that all about? Kyle?Murderer? What could he of possibly done? how about, you tell me :D whoever is the closest gets to be the dedication for the final chapter!!! so start guessing!! ;p"

"Anndddddd....why doesn't Kyle call Kathleen Mom? O.o?? you tell me :D"

The song 'Run Devil Run' by Ke$ha just makes me think of Kyle. Is he trying to escape inner demons or maybe he's the demon himself!!!??? f*ck knowss!! :p

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