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chapter forty seven

|confused|

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was quite a lovely service," millie told to ben, "i'm so happy for bash."

just a moment ago, they had to watch bash and mary get married, and millie was certain, it was a lovely service.

"me either. finally, he had a wife," ben said as they both chuckled.

"you know... i don't have a perfect time to apologize and right now, i think it a perfect timing. i'm sorry, ben. i am truly sorry. you're being so nice and kind to me and i'm being ungrateful for it. you're so kind to me for the short time we have classes together," millie said.

ben let out a soft chuckle, "it is fine, belle."

millie softly smiled, she admitted that she missed him calling her that. her middle name.

"so... what college are you both going?" millie asked.

"oh, well, gil decided that he's gonna stay and wait properly for college," ben said.

"w-what about you?" millie asked, hope was fulfilling her.

"i'm going. bash seemed to understand that it is my right time to go to college."

"oh," millie just muttered, her face fell, "next month, i presume?"

"yes, what about you?"

"oh, me? i'm just... staying for a while then college."

"what about your vocation?"

"oh, um. i don't really know quite about that yet."

"well, you have more time to think about that."

they seem to be silent for a moment. until ben broke it.

"i-i want us to be friends, i-i mean until it is my time to go to the college." ben mentally cursed himself for saying 'friend' with millie. he has a certain feeling for a girl, but he was too afraid that she might just reject him like before.

"f-friends? of course," millie just said, confused why she was suddenly upset at him.

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"marilla, i don't know! he's leaving next month and he..."

"he what?" marilla asked.

millie was currently asking an advice to marilla about the l-word she doesn't want to admit. millie knew that marilla and john blythe, ben and gilbert's father had a past.

"he wants to be friends! i-i mean it is alright but... why am i upset when he said those words?" millie ranted.

"you just don't want to admit it to yourself, mildred. remember, i don't want you to do the mistake i made before."

"i'm confused, marilla. i've never felt like this in my entire life! i am utterly confused. it is really the l-word?" millie said.

"it is. you said that he's nice to you and he just confesses a months ago, it is love, mildred, " marilla advise to her.

millie just hugged marilla as the woman just stroked her head. she was really confused as she reminisces their memories together as she looked at her bracelet to her wrist.

she's really not sure if it is called love.