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I sat writing in my journal as Italy slept, it was only us two in the house that's how I liked it.

It was two months since Italy's birthday meaning it was now my birthday month, it was coming up in five days I actually didn't want to do anything at all..

Nardo was at his house, if he wasn't spending the night with me he'd come over around 12.

Looking at my affirmations of the month I put them on my mirror before smiling, grabbing my sage I lit it before placing them around my house.

I felt like I've been falling off my spiritual journey since I've been around Nardo.. not him specifically but the group I've gotten into drinking & smoking or maybe I was just growing as a person.

"Angel!" I heard Italy say making me go into her room seeing her on her MacBook. "Yes ma'am?" I questioned.

"We can go to CVS right quick?" She asked making me nod. "Yeah what you need?" I asked her.

They were on summer break and lord she had been working my nerves like no tomorrow, every single day dula was over here if they weren't on no date.

I was super glad she was having fun though!

"Pads... makeup... literally everything" She chuckled making me laugh grabbing my keys & purse. "Let's go".

Once we got outside we got directly inside my car, I got a car three days after Italy's birthday luckily .

Letting Italy play music I pulled off heading towards CVS. "You a virgin?" Italy questioned making me look over at her scrunching my face.

"No... why?" I asked.

"When you lost your virginity?" She asked. "Yo birthday... why wassup?" I asked confused.

"Oh... you think it's bad I lost mines at a young age?".

"No... I don't think it's weird everybody gone go through those experiences atleast it was with somebody you trusted... it's normal" I shrugged.

"I didn't lose my virginity to dula... I lost it when I turned 16" She admitted making me look over at her in shock. "Well... like I said it's life shit happens" I shrugged not wanting to be in her business like that.

"I feel you" She nodded getting out the car as I did the same making sure to grab a cart, she walked on side of me as we walked inside. "How much you need?" I asked her.

"3" She told me making me nod handing her three hundreds, I didn't realize taking care of her was so expensive but that's my baby I'll do anything for her I told her focus on school and I got the rest so that's exactly what she's doing.

"I'll be thanks" She told me before grabbing a small cart, I nodded walking towards the snacks putting stuff inside before grabbing a pajama set.

**

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"Dula.. I don't know which one to get" I spoke looking at him through the face time camera . "Clear blue" He responded making me nod before putting it inside the cart.

I quickly walked away going towards a different aisle, I got a pregnancy test because I had been experiencing symptoms ever since my birthday along with not having my period .

Of course I was hoping I wasn't though, I was dreading have to tell Angel because I knew that was going to be the end of it for me.

I had been telling her I got my period and more just lying which I felt bad about, we did use a condom though .

"You straight?" He spoke making me remember he was on the phone. "Ugh yeah" I nodded dropping pads in my cart.

Filling up the cart making sure the pregnancy test was the bottom I nodded before putting a couple snacks in my cart then walked over to the counter.

"How you doing today honey?" The cashier smiled. "I'm fine! What about yourself?" I questioned .

"I'm okay baby just letting life guide me" She chuckled making me laugh as I bagged my things up. "Your total is.... $214.96" She told me making me love two hundred and one twenty .

"Keep the change".

With that being said I took my pregnancy heading towards the car, once I got to it I seen angel already inside making me drop my bags in the back before sitting in the passenger.

"ANGEL!" Dula yelled through the phone making me raise it up before giving it to her. "Wassup?"

She asked him pulling off.

"Waddup fool" He smiled. "Heyyy" She gave him a wave.

"You want Starbucks?" She asked me making me shake my head no. "We can get to dunkin?" I asked making her nod.

**

"Pee on that bitch!" dula spoke sitting on the counter of my restroom, Nardo & angel was gone thankfully .

"I'm scared Darius ..." I spoke fanning my eyes. "Don't be would you wanna know or not know?" He questioned making me shrug.

"Go head fool you gone puss out" He told me making me roll my eyes before grabbing the plastic cup before pulling my pants down.

I was so scared, I still had a whole year of school left along with not even being eighteen I wasn't ready to be a parent at all I was too scared of my own actions .

Once I did my business I washed my heads before sticking the tip of the pregnancy test in the cup before sitting on the counter taking deep breaths.

"Chill" He spoke grabbing my arm. "Don't do that dula I'm scared as fuck!" I spoke counting to 60.

Once I counted three times I opened my eyes before I busted out laughing. "Whewww" I spoke making him laugh.