Have you ever once felt that you're trapped living in a nightmare and desperately wish that it will end by never waking up again?

Well, I do.

I remember the feeling of being tossed into the vicious waves of the sea. I remember getting hit back and forth relentlessly; the force knocking the breath out of me. The cold air nips at my exposed skin and I shudder at the frigid bitterness. My mouth opens and I scream, screaming for somebody to hear me, but I soon realize that my effort is pointless.

In the waters, my voice is nothing but just a silent cry.

The next thing I know, everything goes bright, still, and silent. There's no warmth, no coldness, no sound or movement – nothing. It's just me alone in a white, void space, as if it has disconnected me from the world with a snap of a thread.

I can't tell how long I stay like that, hovering in the veil between the worlds of life and death, but I'm pretty content with how peaceful everything is. After all, there's nothing for me to fear or hate. I can't feel the sadness and pain in my chest.

In this place, there's no reason for me to cry.

A distance away, I hear a voice calling for me. An invincible force pulls me; it starts with a soft nudge before developing into something stronger. No matter how much I try to resist the pull, it refuses to let go of me, like a stubborn child hanging onto a toy, and reels me back to the detestable world where I came from.

As time passes, my resistance slowly crumbles. My strength weakens and I'm forced to give up, allowing myself to be pulled towards the voice. It sounds louder and clearer as I get closer. But I don't recognize who it is.

Fear shrouds me. All I can hope is that when I wake up, the pain isn't there. To live with it again is the same as throwing me into the pit of the fire and burning me alive.

Please.

I don't wish to remember.

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