you're not exactly sure what to make of this new buzz of affection you feel for the other vampire, but once's he's returned to the room, fully dressed and holding up a change of clothes for yourself, you find that it's growing rapidly.

you mumble a string of incoherent curse words as you finally realize the depth of meaning behind the term 'soulmate connection'. you're beginning to understand just how much trouble you've really gotten yourself into.

"well?" crowley taps his foot against the wooden flooring, impatient. "get dressed."

you blanch at his words, and the blatant expectation behind them. you jump up, snatching the dress out of his hands, which just so happens to be the same one he'd given you the first day you were here.

"like fucking hell. go wait outside." you instruct, pointing to the door with a demanding index finger.

crowley groans in disappointment, but he seems to grasp the fact that you have no patience to deal with him right now. the only thing in your mind is getting to your friends before they get here.

once crowley has shut the door, you waste no time in throwing off the clothes you'd slept in, and quickly step into the fabric of the clean dress that he brought for you. you pull on the pair of boots he had left at the door, and are ready to go.

you announce that you're finished changing by swinging the door open and getting started down the hallway, promptly dragging the other vampire along with you.

"what do you intend to do about your oh so loyal followers?" you ask, reaching the stairs before halting, and rounding on crowley with your questions.

he shrugs. "well, i'm not sure-"

you grit your teeth at his incompetence. shouldn't he know how to get past them if he knows them so well?

"fuck. yeah-window." your mouth runs with the first thing your brain can think of, and you side step the staircase, tugging open the window to the left, and glancing down at the far away ground. you hum.

"scared? i can help you..." crowley trails off as you blatantly ignore him, hyper-fixated on your goal. you know it's not going to hurt you to jump anymore, so you ignore your irrational fear. that, and spiting crowley is much more fun than just letting him help you out.

you allow yourself to drop out the window, bracing yourself so as not to meet the ground with your ass instead of your feet. you don't want to know how long you'd have to deal with crowley's teasing.

crowley meets you on the ground a moment later, directing you around the building as the two of you make your escape.

it isn't long before you've reached the main road considering your newly acquired vampire speed. you sprint alongside crowley, hoping to meet your friends sometime soon, before your anxiety becomes too much.

they'll reject me

they won't

but what if-

the sound of a car engine approaching pulls you out of your overwhelming thoughts, and you raise your head to see a truck rounding the upcoming corner, moving towards you full speed.

you sigh in relief at the sight of your friends in the vehicle, a happy smile tugging at the corner of your lips as you watch kimizuki slam on the breaks, and the jeep halts before you and crowley.

you're at the vehicle in no time, meeting shinoa at her door as she jumps out of the car, the sound of her yelling mixed up with the others.

yuu, shinoa, yoichi, kimizuki, trident man... and yuu's family? isn't he a vampire too? you know with just one look at the blond vampire, and the biggest wave of relief washed over you, cleansing you of your anxiety. they won't reject you. reject crowley, more than likely, but not you.

you throw your arms around shinoa, pulling her into a hug. everyone else jumps in too, leaving crowley standing behind you silently, watching the exchange, but making no attempt to be a part of it.

"you-?" shinoa looks between you and crowley, and seems to realize the change in you, the others noticing as well.

"i know." you sigh, avoiding her eyes as she stares at you, but you don't want to see the look in her eyes, in case the look is negative.

she looks at crowley, seeming as though she just now noticed his presence. yuu however, has been staring for a moment, his sword already drawn.

"i-um-" you cut yourself off, unsure how to explain the situation to your friends.

it seems they've come to their own conclusions already, because in an instant all weapons are drawn and readied. shinoa, without breaking eye contact with crowley pulls something small and shiny from her pocket, handing it to you wordlessly. your coin, your axe.

"you're one of us, so long as you choose to be. you don't have to worry about us rejecting you." shinoa says, her voice sure and steady. she fully believes that you'll never betray her.

you nod, but you don't summon your weapon. you let out a small, dry chuckle. you don't know how to explain it.

"shinoa-" you scratch the back of your head, looking for words. any words would be nice. you splitter for a moment. "i- please don't..." you visibly cringe at your own reluctance to let them kill crowley, because in all seriousness, it shouldn't matter. if anything, he deserves it. but something in you is screaming not to let them do this.

"y/n?" shinoa glances at you, concerned. you shrug your shoulders, trying to feign nonchalance.

"well- you can't-" you pause again, but you can see when you look at yuu that he's not even listening to what you're saying. he's seething, eyes fixated on the vampire before him, the one he's deemed a villain. and he's right, crowley is the villain, but you don't want him to be. you don't want to admit it, even to yourself but you really don't want him to be.

"screw this." yuu hisses, and you can see something in him snap. you look to crowley, and he's looking at you already. you silently plead with him not to hurt yuu. you already know that he could kill everyone here, but you can't let him. "BASTARD!"

yuu lunges, but somehow you're moving before you can think, you shouldn't. you don't need to protect him. crowley doesn't deserve your protection. but your body moved on it's own, and you flip a gold coin, and don't watch it transform as you catch the axe.

your shoes skid against the asphalt, and the ear piercing clashing of yuu's sword against the hilt of your axe is deafening in your ears as some form of guilt rises in your chest. guilt. at what? protecting crowley? stopping yuu? becoming a vampire? feeling the way you do about the troublesome vampire? or maybe everything? the whole situation was a mess of emotions and somehow the colors all blended together and you can't tell which ones are really yours anymore. but something is telling you, reminding you even, that crowley eusford dying is not an option.

nobody says anything, but when you open your eyes, yuu's wide, shocked, betrayed eyes, they tell you everything you need to know.

there is only silence, with your weapon pushing back against your friend's.

"...y/n?" yuu's slow, small voice calls out to you, and you can feel the stinging of tears in your eyes again.

"i'm sorry." you sob, gripping your axe with both hands a little tighter. "i'm so sorry." with each breath you take, another quiet, embarrassing sob wracks your body.

yuu doesn't respond, his stunned frame backing away from you slowly, lowering his sword and allowing it to drop to the ground with a clatter.

"what did you do?" kimizuki's angry voice questions loudly, but he's not speaking to you. he's asking the culprit directly.

crowley's hand hovers over your shoulder, but he withdraws it at kimizuki's question.

"i made her stronger." comes crowley's nonchalant response. his gloved hands rest on his hips, and he refrains from reaching out to you, unwilling to cause you more problems in case they they lose it if he touches you.

"y/n! you don't have to protect him. whatever he-" you cut yoichi off with a raise of your hand, sniffling and wiping away your tears. you ignore the embarrassment at your breakdown, trying to focus instead on an explanation.

"i'm sorry." you apologize again, but you're more composed this time. "i do have to protect him- because...fuck." nobody says anything as they wait for you to be able to get the words out.

you take a deep breath, calming yourself and straightening your posture. take pride in your choices, y/n, you remind yourself, stepping back, a little closer to crowley. "he's not going to fight with you- i promise. he's only here because i am." damn. you can't explain it properly. you don't even know where to start or how to say it. "i don't know what i can say to explain it, but he won't hurt anyone anymore."

naromi lets out a frustrated huff, tightening his grip on his trident and letting out a dry laugh as if he had been expecting this. "isn't that great? your friend is siding with the enemy. what's all that shit you were spouting, hyakuya? her hatred for vampires runs as deep as yours? look at her! she is one now! and she's protecting one of the worst ones." naromi rounds on yuu, who's shocked expression quickly becomes agitated.

"hey! y/n is one of us! she would never betray us. there's something deeper going on here." yuu defends, turning to you with a pleading face. "right? right y/n?"

you take another step back. your reasoning isn't good enough, is it? you don't even know how to say it. you take another step, this time bumping into crowley's chest, who steadies you carefully.

"y/n, you don't really care about him, do you?" kimizuki sounds confused, and somewhat like he's denying himself a painful truth. the sound of each of your comrades confused voices, and looks of hurt and betrayal on their faces.

"no! i-" you want to deny it. want to keep on denying yourself the most painful truth of all. "i don't. it's not even-"

shinoa steps forward, away from the rest of the group and out towards you. she reached out for you, placing a warm hand on your shoulder. "i know you do." she sighs, giving you a sympathetic look. "i've known you a long time, y/n. longer than anyone here. i know you care about him. but i also know that you, out of everyone here, are the least likely, along with yuu, to betray any of us."

shinoa turns to the rest of the group, though her eyes are fixated on naromi. "if there's a problem with y/n, i don't care which of you it is, then you'll be dealing with me too. i can't trust him, but if she thinks he's going to help us, i have to believe her."

naromi rolls his eyes. "you're seriously going to trust her? look at her!"

the blond vampire, you're pretty sure yuu said his name is mika, speaks up after this entire time of silence on his part. "yuu. don't turn your back on her. she's your family too, right?"

yuu sighs, gritting his teeth and reaching for his sword. he holds it up, pointing the end at you and crowley.

"y/n is a big sister to shinoa, yoichi, kimizuki, and myself. i trust her, same as shinoa. don't ever give me a reason to point this blade at you again, because if you give me a reason to, it will be the last thing you ever do." yuu's voice is stern and determined. he glares daggers at crowley, who nods in understanding, reaching for your hand. though you tug away, he reaches out for you again.

"i will never betray her." he says, voice calm, steady. "i guess that means i can't betray you either. i have no reason to fight with my kind anymore so i choose to fight with you."

though everyone seems confused, no one asks, they merely wait for further explanation.

"it's not my fault!" you exclaim, raising your hands (one still linked with crowley's) in a show of surrender. "i think it's just as stupid as it sounds."

"y/n, what?" shinoa asks, looking at you again, this time with a concerned expression.

"oh my god please don't ask. it's the dumbest fucking thing i have ever heard in my life and it's honestly humiliating." you sigh, covering your face with your free hand.

crowley looks smug as ever, patting the top of your head gently with his own free hand. "she's mine." he grins, and that's the only explanation he offers as you turn around to kick him in the shins, irritation spiking.

"fucker!" you hiss, kicking him again. "no um, actually it's something even dumber than those two words. it's something called, and you'll get how stupid it is after i've said it- it's called a-"

"soulmate connection." crowley smirks, squeezing your hand as your eyes bulge, turning around to raise a threatening fist at the other vampire.

"is it still considered domestic violence if it won't leave a lasting mark?" you growl, turning away from crowley with an awkward laugh. "i hate him."

"i knew it!" he blanches, but still doesn't let your hand go as you tug away from him.

"don't we need to go? chess and horn could literally come out here at any moment?" you change the subject, pointing to the truck.

everyone nods in agreement, and everyone begins to make their way to the vehicle.

"just to be clear, we are not going to have any infighting. as long as he behaves himself there's no need for it." shinoa clarifies, looking around at everyone and giving crowley a disgusted look. "meanwhile- y/n and crowley can explain their cute little connection in our way back to our hideout. when we get there, we can explain whats been going on since y/n has been-" shinoa cutely clears her throat, glaring daggers at crowley once more. "gone." she finishes.

and that's how it goes. the drive back to the hideout is spent with you hiding behind shinoa as crowley shamelessly explains your connection, and how you came to be a vampire to protect your friends. he's very adamant about telling everyone that he'd kissed you-in excruciating detail, that is.

somehow, it all feels familiar. it feels natural and somehow so right to have everyone blanching at crowley's uncensored stories.

how are you supposed to be disappointed that it all turned out this way when it somehow, in such a roundabout way, feels as if things are falling into place?