"so you really don't like it?" crowley asks, incredulous. his eyes are a little wide as he stares at you, clearly disapproving of your judgment.

you lean back into the cushions of the couch, pretending to examine again. you purse your lips in thought, but quickly shake your head. "nope. it's been seen too many times before."

crowley appears no less confused than he had been moments before. "what does that mean?" he questions, crossing his arms defensively.

you sigh, shrugging lamely at the vampires question. "what i'm saying...is that it's lame. it's the only hairstyle you ever wear. it's boring." you explain, waving your hand around as you speak. "you can do better, can't you?"

"but it's easy to just leave it like this." he states, a valid argument for anyone lazy. you however, will not stand for it.

"i don't fucking think so. you look like an idiot. come here." you instruct, waving the vampire over and patting the cushion beside you, inviting him to sit.

your own words hit you when the vampire actually moved to sit down next to you, an expression stuck between satisfaction and surprise resting upon his features. you push down your slight discomfort, you'll deal with it. you did, after all, just put yourself in this situation.

crowley sits, his back facing you so you can see the outline of his broad shoulders and his shoulder blades through the outline of his usual white uniform.

you reach up, pulling the hair tie from its place to mess around with the vampires hair, which comes out in waves as you remove the braid. you mess around with the top, spreading his hair around his shoulders as you think of what you want to do with it.

"look at me for a second?" you request, thinking hard on what kind of hairstyle would look alright if you take his messy bangs into account.

the vampire turns around rather quickly, his loose strands of hair swinging around as he turns to face you, an eager expression plastered onto his face. his face is pretty close when he leans towards you, offering you a smile. "why?"

you use your hand to push him away, rolling your eyes with an obnoxious scoff. "so i can see which hairstyle will make me the least sickened by your disgusting face, obviously. i thought you were at least smart enough to figure that out." crowley tilts his head, and pushes back against your hand.

"but chess and horn think my face is quite nice, are you sure your analysis is correct?" he asks, feigning a frown which quickly breaks, and he snickers against your palm.

you ignore his comment, using all of your strength to shove the vampire back, knowing he isn't really trying too hard. though that's probably because he's aware he could hurt you.

"can you fuck off? i'm just trying to fix your fucking hair." you snap, pointing for him to turn back around.

sure, maybe the vampire looks sort of good with his hair out of the damn braid, but that doesn't mean anything. there's a bunch of better looking people who aren't brutal, crazy vampires who live only to serve themselves.

you curse at yourself, and focus back on the task at hand. you don't need these thoughts, so you'll ignore them.

you start with a high ponytail, which is a little longer than you had initially thought that it would be, and can nearly rest on his shoulder.

surprisingly, it looks quite nice, and highlights the sharp features of his face nicely. you hadn't really expected such a simple style would bring out the depth of his face so well.

"hmm..." your thoughtful hum makes crowley's head raise, an oddly blank expression resting on his usually dramatic features, but his eyes are slightly wide.

reach up to tighten the ponytail a little, nodding in approval as you run your fingers through it, combing through the small tangles. it's odd to be so close to a vampire and realize that they too deal with small inconveniences like tangled hair and whatnot. you tilt your head, letting the last few strands of crowley's hair slip out from your gentle grasp, and your hands return to your own space in your lap.

"well?" he asks, his voice quiet as he stares down at you semi-expectantly. you shrug, feigning nonchalance. truth be told, you're a little surprised at how attractive this vampire really is, especially when you've pushed his bangs away from his eyes just a little bit, and you can see most of the details on his porcelain face. "are you disappointed at your own work?" he questions you, raising a hand to fiddle with a strand of hair which dangles around his shoulder.

you shrug again, leaning back into the couch as if you couldn't care enough to respond to his question.

crowley's eyes light up in realization and his usual smirk takes over once more. "i know what it is. you've realized the error in your earlier words, and are stunned speechless at how incredibly attractive i really am?"

you snort loudly, turning back to face the vampire with an incredulous look adorning your features. "you fucking wish, shit for brains!" you exclaim, though a small smile can be seen, making the corner of your mouth twitch upwards just a little.

"you're smiling." he points out, poking a gloved finger into the corner of your mouth.

you gasp as if his observation offends you, leaning away from his touch, but he follows. "i can guarantee you that i'm not. your idiocy merely astounds me."

crowley barks out a laugh, and neither of you says anything as it fades out. it's just silence left between you, and crowley's gaze burning against the side of your face.

you glance over at the vampire, ready to bite out an insult at his unending staring, but when you turn, the way he's looking at you is so intense. his gaze is filled with such pure emotion, but of what you're not so sure. all you can deduce from the expression he wears is that it's strong. strong enough to make you want to back away, and maybe hide somewhere, but not because it's threatening. it's just so real, so honest. it's shocking, not scary. well, scary perhaps, but not in a threatening way.

you open your mouth, but no sound comes out. you're sure you look utterly helpless in that moment so you close it, and look away.

"why are you so afraid?" crowley's voice cuts through the silence at last, and you glance back quickly. "i don't want to hurt you, so why are you afraid?"

you stare back this time, thinking hard on your next words. "i'm not afraid. i just don't like you."

crowley scoffs lightly, yet he doesn't seem very offended. "how can that be? don't you think it means something that you took time to give me advice on my hair of all things? you had fun making pancakes a few days ago, didn't you? and every meal since then? do we not get along?"

now you see it. as the expression in his eyes becomes something akin to desperation, you begin to understand. crowley eusford is a villain in this world, but you're sure now that because of whatever connection he believes you have, he's found some part of himself which he'd lost a very long time ago.

in the instant you put the pieces together, a dangerous thought crosses your mind.

can't i save him?

but you know that villains don't require saving, for it is their job to save themselves. just as a hero would. but how can that be true when this man, this vampire looks like he's drowning? now that you understand part of what is going on, you can see that somewhere inside of him he's waging a war. perhaps his vampire and human sides are fighting, and maybe even over you.

you let out a sigh at crowley's poorly hidden desperation, internally cursing at your growing pity for the vampire. it seems no matter how much you try to focus on what he did to you, your friends, and especially guren, something in you screams it can be fixed. you know that it can't.

"i guess we get along, sure. and yeah, maybe making food is sort of enjoyable." you respond, honesty the only thing to be found in your words as you admit it. "but you hurt people i care about, and even if i enjoy some of the conversations we have, how do i ignore that? you don't understand, because you haven't felt human empathy in how long? a long ass time."

crowley's head tilts. "but-" he chokes. "i feel it for you, though." he says honestly, making something in your chest swell; you think it might be your heart.

"that's not enough!" you exclaim, turning to face crowley fully, a strange combination of anger and maybe even hurt taking over you. you let out a dry chuckle. "how can that possibly be enough? you 'care' for one person, and i care for so many. doesn't exactly measure up, does it?"

crowley is silent for a moment, but he nods. a melancholy understanding takes over the atmosphere in the room.

"do you even think you could?" you ask. you know that it's stupid, and it feels like a betrayal to everyone you care about to even bother asking, and even worse to hope for a yes.

crowley's head raises and he gives you a questioning glance.

you let out a frustrated huff, slapping the vampire upside the head. "fucking hell! do you think you even could care about anyone else? if you think your dumb little soulmate connection brings back your damn feelings, tell me honestly, right now. do you think you could care about anyone else too?"

crowley says nothing, and something in you hopes he's thinking about his answer carefully. god, why do you want him to say yes? it won't change anything, will it? you could never betray your friends if they say he can't come along. how are any of you supposed to trust him?

before you know it you're holding your breath, anticipating his answer with more anxiety than you'd care to admit.

"i guess i already do." he shrugs, an expression of surprise adorning his sharp features.

your heart squeezes in relief, and you silently let out the breath you were holding. "oh?" you say, unwilling to let the vampire know just how much you want that to be the case.

"i care about chess and horn more than i really thought about." he admits, his eyebrows furrowing. "but i don't know if it's the same."

you roll your eyes. "then let me rephrase the question."

at your words crowley becomes more confused, scratching the back of his head as he waits for you to continue.

"do you think you could care about someone like me? like yuu, shinoa, yoichi, or kimizuki? if you're not honest with me i'm going to-"

"i don't know." he sighs. "i-think, that i could become less hostile towards them, maybe even lose all hostility towards them. i don't need them anymore anyway. but i don't think i could care about them like you do."

you told your head at crowley's response, you understand, but you also don't. "what do you mean by that?" your words aren't harsh or pushy, but genuinely questioning. you need to know.

"i don't know if i could think of them as friends- or-" crowley rubs his temples as if he were confusing himself. "it's just strange."

you nod slowly. "what does it feel like?" you ask.

crowley raises his eyebrows, the unexpected question taking him a little bit by surprise. "what?"

"what do you mean what? you tell me. how does it feel right now? how does it feel when you think of the possibility of not killing my family?" you nearly want to laugh at the surreality of it all. you're sitting on a sofa asking your enemy how he feels about your family. it's all enough to make you laugh and cry at the same time, but you know that these questions need answers and you don't want to be afraid of crowley, just like you don't want your friends to have to be.

for some reason you get the feeling that crowley's overwhelmed by whatever he's feeling. he hasn't felt empathy or pity or any kind of affection for people in so long, and you wonder how badly that would affect someone. part of you doesn't want to imagine.

you watch the expressions that cross crowley's face, but some of them are hard to read. he's taking your questions seriously, and that means something to you in itself.

"i feel...conflicted." he sighs, but you can see the effort the vampire is putting in to tell you this. "it's like part of me thinks that getting rid of your friends will make everything easier, it's like a duty. but whatever knowing you has done to me- it's not like that." crowley glances away from you, a frustrated expression on his face as his cheeks go pink with emotion.

"and what does that mean?" you ask quietly, placing your hand on his head, awkwardly looking for a way to stabilize some of whatever tsunami has been released inside of the vampire.

to your surprise, some of crowley's tensity melts away at your gesture, and he visibly relaxed at your touch, though you're not sure he's paying enough attention to realize it. it's somewhat endearing, but also a little embarrassing, so you pretend not to notice.

"most of me doesn't even care about your friends, but i can't hurt them. the most important part of me says i can't let them get hurt either." this statement confuses you a lot, but you simply wait for crowley to continue. hoping whatever honesty the vampire has left, he'll let it out still.

he does.

"if i let them get hurt, isn't that the equivalent of hurting you? so...i guess i could care about them if i think of it like that, but i don't really know enough yet to say if i can care about them besides that. so i need you to tell me if it's enough."

is it enough? you're not sure. you hadn't really been expecting this answer. you want to accept it, but you also want to tell him to suck it, because you don't have room for people who can't think of everyone as important. but can you discount the fact that he hasn't felt these things in- how long has it really been for him? you're not sure. you don't even remember if he told you. all you know is that you want to give him a chance, because him protecting your friends for your sake is something, isn't it?

you hope so, because if it's not, then you're going to have to escape on your own. right now, your whole plan relies on not getting yourself out of here, but convincing crowley to leave with you.