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[anya]

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it had been seven long hours. seven long, long hours. seven painful, exhausting, and hilarious hours that i'll treasure for the rest of my life. shawn got his guitar from the back of his car, and he was strumming and singing random things, entertaining our two families, and keeping us all calm at a time of panic. he made sure to keep me comfortable, whilst enduring my curses and screeches at him for getting me pregnant.

it was a time that i would remember for the rest of my life.

shawn was currently clutching onto my hand, whispering sweet shushes of ease to me, trying to keep me calm in a time of pure panic, whilst cracking the odd joke here and there.

"hunny, only a little longer," he hums, kissing the back of my hand gently. "then little ave will be here, and we can go home, we can take her around the nursery, give her a little home tour, lay with her, hold her, everything."

"shut the fuck up," i grunt, clenching my teeth through the second contraction of the hour, squeezing onto shawns hand tightly, as he chuckles yet again, tracing the back of my hand with his fingertips.

"alright, let's check how many centimetres you are," the doctor walks into the room, along with my midwife, and three junior doctors, all carrying bright blue clipboards, dressed head to toe in scrubs. i groan yet again, knowing their fingers will be up me in a short moment, but at this rate, i couldn't care less. people had been coming in and out just to take a look.

"this should just be for me to see," shawn mutters close to my ear, making me laugh, whilst feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

"so, anya, you seem to be five centimetres along. we won't be able to give you the epidural till your seven centimetres at least, so try to get some rest till then, yeah?" the doctor tells me, slipping off her gloves, and throwing them into the bin next to the bed. "or go on a walk, that might speed things up."

"sleep sounds good," i mumble, making shawn laugh.

"i can't begin to explain how funny this is," shawn tells me, after the medical staff leave the room, letting shawn and i be alone, whilst our families are sitting in the waiting room, or walking around the hospital.

"shawn, we need to talk about the press and releasing the birth," i sigh, as the contraction begins to ease off. "i don't want the press finding out until a few days after she's here. we need some time alone with her."

"and i'll make sure of that. when we announce it, we'll just post something, and leave it at that, yeah?" i nod in response. "i'll tell andrew to make sure the press stay far away from us."

"and telling friends and family, we'll tell them straight away obviously, but we need to make sure no one posts anything about it," i say, making him nod. "i also want us to be alone with her for the first day she's at home."

"you got it, love," he hums, tracing my cheekbone with his fingers lightly, smiling down at me.

"what are we gonna do about the living situation?" i ask, sighing softly. "you rerented my apartment."

"well you're fine to stay with me, like normal," he shrugs. "or are we gonna stick to not being in a relationship and putting avery first?"

"i think we should put her first," i sigh. "leave our feelings to the side till everything settles out. we can't be selfish."

"so you want to go back to your place?" he asks me gently.

"for the time being," i say softly. "i'm sorry-"

"please don't apologise," he says to me. "you're right, avery needs to be put first, and us living together might just disrupt that. you need some space, and so do i after what happened. let things calm down, let us get used to a schedule, and then we'll talk about us."

"i can't believe that place hadn't been rented out," i mutter. "i've been living in your place for months now."

"i mean, it is an expensive place to rent," shawn shrugs. "anya, are you sure you want to move out? i-"

"honestly? no," i sigh, easing myself to sit up. "i don't want to rid you of being away from avery. even if i do move back, you're still gonna be there for the night or whatever. it's just gonna be like living together."

"the fuck are we gonna do with a spare condo?" he curses, making me giggle. "maybe we could get brian to stay there so we can have free babysitting."

"that's a good idea," i smirk, shuffling slightly in the bed to try to get a little bit more comfortable. "i'm so hungry shawn," i complain, feeling my stomach grumble in hunger.

"you want some ice chips?" he jokes, holding out the polystyrene cup i've grown to detest in the past few hours. i glare at him, as he grins again, holding out a spoonful close to my lips. "come on hunny, they'll cool you down."

"yeah but they'll make me piss myself, again," i whine, opening my mouth, so shawn can spoonfeed me.

"you'll be doing a lot more than that, childbirth gives you no control," he says, mimicking the words of the doctor, making me roll my eyes again. "now get some sleep, doctors orders."

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the pain that woke me up was blinding. i woke up with a jolt, feeling something tear through my abdomen, the entire area cramping up more than i've ever felt before in my life. it was so bitingly painful.

"s-shawn," i mumble, shaking his shoulder to get up, causing him to wake up with a quick jolt, before looking at me concerned. "c-call the doctor, please."

"on it!" my mum yells, walking out of the room, as i grab onto shawns hand, clutching it tightly, practicing the short, sharp intakes of air.

"babe, what's going on? are you okay?" shawn whispers, placing his other hand on my sweaty forehead, brushing my hair away lightly.

"i-it hurts so bad," i whimper, tears looking at my eyes. "i can't do this anymore, i-"

"shh, everything's gonna be okay, just breathe hunny, slowly," he reassures me. "your mums gonna be back with dr smith, i promise."

"shawn," i cry, my body shaking because of the intense pain. "p-push, i-i need to push."

"hunny your epidural-"

"cancel it, i-i need to push," i say quickly, clutching onto shawns hand tightly, moving my other hand to the rail of the bed, gritting my teeth.

"anya! let's see how far you are," dr smith says excitedly, pulling a pair of blue latex gloves on, before the usual trainees follow, getting close to all the machines around me. i roll my eyes, letting out a long sigh, whilst the pain begins to subside, seeing dr smith smiling to herself. "okay, you're ten centimetres, you've got here faster than we expected," she says, standing up. "we're gonna quickly have to see if the baby's okay to come out, and then we'll start pushing. it's a little late for the epidural."

"f-fuck, okay," i nod, as shawn kisses the back of my hand delicately, reassuring me silently.

one of the trainees fixes up the ultrasound machine, pulling up my gown, and squeezing the cold jelly i've gotten used to over my bump. she runs the wand over it, furrowing her brow in confusion, whilst looking at the picture produced on the sonogram.

"hey doc, can you look at this for a sec?" the trainee says, immediately worrying me.

"w-what's going on?" i ask, looking at the fuzzy picture, as dr smith curses to herself, nodding. "doctor?"

"anya, she's not exactly facing the right way, so i'm gonna have to try to move her with my hands. is that okay?" she asks, rolling up her sleeves.

"will it hurt her?" shawn asks, taking the words right out of my mouth.

"not at all," dr smith replies, leaning over the bed. "ready anya?" i nod, not having the energy to speak, as the doctor moves her hands around my bump, pressing down on my sides. i feel something move position in me, and i gasp almost immediately at the weird sensation.

"oh, god," i mutter, squeezing shawns hand again. "oh god, oh god, i need to push- i need to push."

"just hold on a couple seconds anya, we need to get you ready, okay?" doctor smith tells me, whilst i nod, clenching my jaw. "okay, you're gonna need to help us a little bit here, yeah? i'm gonna guide your legs up, please don't stress out."

"o-okay," i nod, letting my legs be moved into a very uncomfortable position, granted that everyone in the room can see me from waist down. "fuck, no i can't do this no-" i stutter, feeling an immense pain come over my lower half, looking straight up at shawn, whos eyes are filled with concern.

"baby, just a little longer, i'm right here, shh," he says, leaning down to kiss my cheek softly, as i nod again, whimpering in pain, holding in the screams which will eventually come out.

"ready to push, anya?" the doctor asks me, as i let out a loud groan, cursing loudly straight after. "i'll take that as a yes, okay, make sure you keep breathing, and we're gonna push for ten seconds, okay?"

"fuck off," i groan, letting a scream pass my lips, as i push my chin down to my chest, shawn moving his other hand to behind my head. "oh god!" i scream, gritting my teeth, as i push as hard as i can, trying to keep my breath as steady as possible.

"hunny, come on, you can do this," shawn reassures me, brushing back my hair gently. "baby, just think about it, we're gonna see her so soon."

"push!" the doctor yells, as i obey, squeezing as hard as i can, pushing through the pain. "she's crowning! one more anya, just like that, and the head will be out!"

"fuck, oh god," i groan yet again, taking a few deep breaths, trying to get my breath back, and settle my nerves. "shawn," i mewl, looking up at him, squeezing onto his hand harder, as he grins, tears poling at his eyes. "i love you."

"i love you," he responds. "come on baby, you can do this."

"push!"

the next few seconds happen too quickly to explain. i feel something drop out of me, making my eyes go wide in shock, before the ear piercing, yet relieving cry of a newborn baby fills the sweaty room. i throw my head back almost immediately, breathing quickly and deeply, as shawn lets out multiple tears, sniffling next to me. i smile tiredly at him, letting go of his hand, and moving my hand up to cup his cheek.

"anya, baby? can you hear me?" his face contorts into concern, before i blank him out completely, feeling my body sink further into the bed, my eyes rolling to the back of my head.

the last thing i could hear before i passed out was an inconsistent beeping noise, and more people rushing into the room. after that, everything was black.

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