-

[shawn]

-

she stood by the counter, waiting for her coffee that i paid for, effortlessly beautiful, even though she hasn't been sleeping properly because of the endless pain she's in. anya rose steinburg. the mother of my child, and the woman i'm falling for more than anything.

a man, quite tall, more or less the blonde version of myself strolls up to her, a curious smirk over his face, and i immediately feel the jealousy crowd my emotions.

she's not yours. she's only acting as she is because she's carrying your child.

i shake my head, looking down at my hands, and letting a small sigh pass my lips. my phone begins to buzz on the wooden table, making me immediately pick it up with a sigh, pressing the device to my ear.

"hey man," andrew says, as soon as i answer. "you in the city?"

"i am, where else would i be?" i ask him sarcastically. "you in toronto?"

"yeah i am," he answers. "i have a friend with me too."

"hey shawn!" i hear a female chirp from the background.

"mila! hey," i smile, chuckling softly. "how did you find her?"

"bumped into me, where are you anyway? we're at your condo, and doorman said you just left," andrew says. "you okay, bud? you sound a little sad."

"no, yeah- i'm fine," i quickly brush off. "anya wanted coffee shop coffee, so we're at a coffee shop, the one down the road from the condo. usual place."

"alright, see you in two secs."

i hang up, putting my phone back down on the table, and looking back over at anya, who's laughing at something this-this man said, making my skin crawl. the man hands her a small piece of paper, his number probably, before sending her away with a playful smirk, leaving anya's cheeks to flush, as she picks up her coffee, walking back to the table.

"enjoy that? did you?" i shoot out, not knowing what's coming out of my mouth.

"excuse me?" she asks cluelessly, placing her coffee down opposite me, and holding a hand protectively over her almost 5 month bump.

"nothing," i mutter, looking at the door of the cafe, seeing andrew and camila walk in from the freezing cold, both chatting amongst themselves. "anyway, andrew and camila are here, they surprised me."

"oh," anya says softly, sitting down, and wincing slightly, before moving up in the booth, so someone else could sit next to her.

"shawn, anya! anya! how are you, hun?" camila asks warmly, sliding into the booth next to anya, greeting her with a small squeeze.

"hey man," i say, seeing andrew follow, who sits on my side of the booth. "you good?"

"i'm good, you good?" he imitates, making me chuckle softly, shaking my head.

"yeah-yeah, i'm good-"

"oh yeah, he's peachy," anya butts in, sending me a soft glare. i roll my eyes, scoffing slightly, whilst andrew and camila look between us curiously.

"shawn," camila warns. "she's pregnant, can it."

"what did i do? she's the one who decided to further the argument," i say quickly, folding my arms and looking out of the window next to me.

"that's only because i come back from being chatted up and you're acting like a complete dick to me," anya says quickly, her anger staring into me. "fucking dickhead."

"how am i the dickhead?" i ask, looking straight at her, getting more annoyed as the seconds pass.

"because you're literally overreacting about me getting someone's number!" she bursts, rolling her brown eyes.

"that's because you're carrying my child!"

"that doesn't mean i can't have a romantic life as well, you're just her biological dad," she mutters, folding her arms and looking away. her words hit me like knives, and i feel a slight sadness overcome me.

"excuse me," i say softly, motioning for andrew to move out of the booth so i can escape.

"shawn don't leave-" andrew starts.

"no, let him," camila sighs. "i'll go."

"camila i don't need you to babysit me," i say quickly, after leaving the table, and walking out of the cafe, straight back into the cold, whilst camila follows me eagerly.

"i know, i'm just concerned," she says softly, pulling my arm back. "i know you're upset about what she said, and i know you're upset about whatever happened."

"i'm falling for her, camila," i say quietly, quickening my pace, and crossing the road quickly. "and she's literally acting like i'm just there as a fucking sperm donor."

"she's not, shawn, you know that," camila sighs, as we approach my condo block, walking inside, and greeting the doorman with a subtle nod. "she's in her second trimester, her body's going through a lot-"

"i know she's going through a lot, i've been with her every single day since finding out- god- she came to my room literally crying her eyes out because she was in so much pain. i stayed up with her all night, just making sure she was okay-" i cut myself off with a sigh. "it just hurts that she said that, and it hurts that she's giggling over another guy who she just met."

"is that how you feel?" camila asks me gently, as i unlock my condo door, holding the door open for camila, letting her walk in before me.

"yeah," i nod, shutting the door behind me. "hey, you wanna see the nursery?"

"yeah!" camila says, slightly more happier to diffuse the tension. "you've already started doing it?"

"i started preparing the room as soon as i got back to toronto," i chuckle lightly. "mum, dad and aaliyah are gonna come round when we're all at the jingle balls- actually they're coming tomorrow straight after anya and i leave because i have furniture arriving-" i ramble, opening the door to the nursery, and clicking on the lights. "obviously the nursing chair and little wardrobe still has to arrive, and the cot, but this is it," i say, revealing the room to camila.

"shawn, it's beautiful," she says warmly, looking around the grey and white themed room, now with pink accents running through it, and white letters spelling out 'avery' on the wall where the changing table is. "you're really excited, aren't you?"

"man, i can't wait," i say, looking down at the cream carpet, a sad smile on my lips. "she's my life now. i have to put her in front of me."

"anya or avery?"

"both," i shrug, sighing softly. "at the end of the day, we're a family now, i can't just bail on them. anya's told her landlord that she's moving out, she's taken the guest room as her own, we basically live together now."

"i understand why you're so upset," camila says to me. "but why can't you just tell her?"

"i don't want to force feelings on her, you know? that guy who chatted her up today made her laugh, like actually laugh. i made anya's life a living hell at one point of our lives. i don't deserve her," i admit, feeling tears fill my eyes. "but it's fine. she might not even call this guy, we have no idea, it just hurts that she doesn't know."

"so tell her."

"it's not that easy," i shake my head. "you and i both know that." camila let's out a small chuckle, shaking her head, as i sigh, picking up the old lion toy that i swear never left my side when i was younger, letting out a sad chuckle.

"and she doesn't even-"

the door opens quietly, cutting me off completely, and anya stands at the doorway, an anxious look on her face.

"hey," she says quietly, looking between camila and i. "am i interrupting you guys?"

"no, not at all," camila says quickly, walking towards the door. "talk," she whispers to anya, thinking i won't hear, before squeezing her arm gently, and walking out of the nursery.

"i ripped up his number," she says softly. "to be fair, he saw i was with you, and started flirting with me because of that. i think he was lying about feeling attracted to me, and instead he was attracted to you."

"you and avery really mean the world to me, you know that right?" i spill, feeling more confident to speak. "and i swear to god, i'm not just her biological father. i'm her father, and i will be the best damn father out there."

"and i don't doubt that," she says quickly. "it's just," she sighs, sitting down on the nursing chair, resting a hand over her bump. "you snapped at me, for no reason."

"it's more complicated than just that," i quickly say.

"is it?" she shoots, standing up again. "because i really don't think it is."

"you wouldn't understand," i mumble, looking away from her.

"then help me understand!" she says, placing her hand on her hip. "for gods sake, shawn, i can't fix anything if you don't talk to me!" she yells, making me jump slightly. i see her shuffle slightly in her step, and then wince again.

"are you okay?" i ask softly, stepping towards her.

"no," she says truthfully, groaning slightly. "everything hurts."

"come on, you need to go lie down, and i'll get you a few heat packs, okay?" i say to her gently, as she nods, sighing.

"shawn," she says, stopping me in my tracks. "i really wanna make this work between us, but you have to talk to me."

"yeah, i know," i mumble, looking back down at the floor.

"and i'm sorry for what i said, i'm just cranky and tired," she sighs. "i know it's not an excuse, but i really am sorry. i shouldn't have said it, i know you're gonna be the best dad avery could ever ask for," she mumbles, walking up to me, and placing her hands delicately in mine. "thank you for staying with me."

"we're a team now," i say warmly, my voice cracking at the end, making her giggle softly. "i'm sorry for what i said too."

anya smiles softly at me, before squeezing my hands, and walking out of the nursery, well, waddling out, heading straight to her room.

i didn't realise how complicated this would be.