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"fuck," shawn mumbles, running his fingers through his hair, as soon as the door to his condo slams shut, anya leaving, deeply upset and shocked. shawn groans, turning to georgia with his arms folded. "get out."

"i don't get how this was my fault, you slept with me, remember?" she answers back, suddenly more awake.

"well you showed up here in the first place," shawn mutters. "just leave, i need some time to process what just happened, oh and don't call me ever again. find yourself another late night call." georgia scoffs, picking up her things, before walking to the door of the condo.

"oh, shawn?" she calls, turning her head round. "i hope anya never forgives you."

"oh fuck off georgia," shawn groans, as she leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind her. "fuck," he mutters, walking around his condo, pacing around in a panic.

his eyes flicker to the framed photograph of the pregnancy reveal post he put up in instagram, and his heart swells. how could he sleep with someone else when he knows that he's falling for the woman who's having his child?

shawn was falling, and it was the utter truth. anya made him crazy, but her not talking to him, especially after an occurrence that they both needed each other for, broke his heart. it made him think that she didn't even care about how he felt. he lost his baby too. he lost a child he was going to sing to, to read to, to tuck them in bed with a little kiss on their forehead, to comfort them when they're crying their hearts out, to utter the words 'i love you' to his own child.

it hurt him as much as it hurt anya.

so shawn cried. he cried and cried and cried. he cried for screwing things up with anya, he cried for the baby he lost, he cried for not being there for anya, he cried at the fact he was alone. his eyes were red, and his lips were chapped, but he stayed where he was, slowly sinking down against the wall, letting the sobs pass his lips.

he wanted nothing more than to hold anya and their surviving baby, their little fighter, their hope in the darkest times. he craved her sweet, loving touch, he ached for her homely embrace.

anya sighed softly to herself, tracing her bump with her fingertips, feeling close to shawn from the simple touch of their baby. was she upset at what happened? of course she was. was she guilty that she never spoke to shawn over the last two months? of course she was. did she know that deep down shawn wanted her to be with him? of course she did. he was hurting too, not just her.

they weren't even together, so why was anya acting like she was heartbroken? shawn has the right to be with other people, especially when he isn't completely tied down by anya. anya knew he didn't belong to her, but deep down she wanted him to.

she wanted him. she ached desperately for him. each tender touch he gave her made her heart leap and swell. she loved his soft touch, his warm embrace, his laugh, his smile, she wanted nothing more than to dwell in his happiness.

she was connected to him through more than just a baby; the baby was only the bonus.

so, with a concluding breath, anya stood up, and waddled out of her condo, gently knocking on shawns door again. her heart was beating wildly, there were butterflies clouding up her stomach, and her hands were shaking like crazy.

shawns head perks up from the wall, and he wipes his cheeks, his vision slightly blurred from the endless crying. he sniffles gently, before scrambling up, and walking lazily to the door to answer it.

"hey," anya says softly to him, her presence shocking him yet again. "oh my god, shawn," she whispers, as shawns eyes fill with tears again. anya quickly leaps up, wrapping her arms around him, as he lets out a sob, slowly linking his arms around her waist, hiding his face in her neck.

"shh," she whispers, scratching softly at the back of his curls. "shh."

"t-the baby," he weeps, his heart completely breaking. anya feels her eyes fill with tears, as she holds him tightly, whispering small words of comfort to him.

"it's okay, it's okay," she mumbles, the baby kicking her softly, almost as if it can sense shawn being there. shawn cries even harder at the motion, erupting into another round of sobs.

"a-and today i-" shawn cuts himself off, choking out a sob. "oh god, i'm so sorry."

"come on, let's get you somewhere more comfy," anya tells him gently, guiding him to his large couch, letting him sit down and curl up to her embrace. his head resting on her chest, his arms wrapped around her and their baby.

"h-how could we lose-?" he cries, looking up at anya. "h-how are you being so strong?"

"because i'm numb to it," she says, pushing out a sad smile, her eyes glazing over with tears. "i'm so numb to it."

"w-why didn't you talk to me?" he asks her softly, quietening down his cries. "why?"

"i was scared, shawn," she stutters, letting a tear roll down her rosy cheek. "i had lost your child."

"it wasn't your fault," shawn whispers. "why didn't you let me hold you through the night?" he asks her, his voice completely broken.

anya sighs gently, more tears streaming down her cheeks. she looks over shawns face, bringing her hand up to cup his cheek, and wipe away his own tears. "i know we still have one baby, but i still lost one. i-it died in me. i just have to live with that. i didn't know what to do or what to think, shawn," she says, taking a quick breath to steady herself. "i-" she cuts herself off, shutting her eyes firmly, and letting the tears roll down. "i thought you would hate me."

"hate you?" shawn asks her gently, sitting up suddenly, and looking down at anya. "you're carrying my child, anya, i could never hate the mother of my child."

"shawn i-" she sighs again. "i really feel bad about not talking to you, b-but why did you do what you did tonight?"

"honestly? i felt lonely," he admits. "i-i tried so hard to see you, talk to you, hold you, but you wouldn't let me in," he mumbles. "i-it just got to me tonight, but i regret it so much."

"i can't really be mad about it, we aren't together," anya mumbles, wiping away her tears. shawns heart breaks, and he feels himself want to hold her and never let her go.

"anya i promise you, i'm never going to leave you or this baby alone, yeah? we're in this together. you're not gonna be alone," he says firmly to her, holding onto her hands in his. "we're a team now."

"t-thank you," she mumbles, crawling into shawns embrace, her cries going silent, with the occasional sniffle. "can we just forget about tonight completely?"

"of course we can," he tells her gently, running his fingertips over her bump. "hey, when's the gender scan?"

"next monday," anya yawns, shutting her eyes, and resting her head against his chest. "are you coming?"

"of course i am," he grins, looking down at the beautiful woman in his arms. "are we gonna do one of those cheesy gender reveals?"

"of course we are, we can invite everyone around that evening," she says, a small smile toying on her lips. "i really hope it's a girl. i've always wanted a little baby girl."

"me too, but a boy would be great too. i can teach him how to sing and get all the girls," he says jokingly, making anya chuckle softly. "if we have a girl, can we name her avery-penelope?"

"avery-penelope? a dual name?"

"yeah, avery means wise, and usually people who are called penelope grow up to be confident, and expressive, and i think that describes both you and i," shawn tells her, rubbing her bump gently. anya smiles softly to herself, opening her eyes and looking up at shawn.

"then if it's a girl, we'll name her avery-penelope," anya confirms, sliding her fingers to be intertwined with shawns. "and if it's a boy, we'll call him arlo."

"what does arlo mean?"

"fortified hill," she grins, making shawn chuckle softly. "because if it's a boy, he'll always be protecting his twin," she says gently, her wide smile turning into a sad one.

"that's perfect, anya rose," he whispers, squeezing her hand gently. "avery or arlo. either way, they're perfect."

anya feels herself drifting off with a smile painted on her face. for the first time in two months, she fell asleep without feeling alone.