Dedicated to

*Dear heart ,control your beats*

Taseer called Ameer's mother as he had promised and she refused to tell him her reason for being against Simran saying that its none of Taseer's business and if she's indeed the one who gave birth to Ameer and suckled him he should obey her and not make a fuss about it ,besides Simran is not the only woman on earth and her niece is better looking than Simran. Taseer was perplexed .He told me he has a hunch that something somewhere is wrong because Hajia is the sweetest woman he had ever met , an advocate of freedom who always told them that she dislikes it when parents force their children into a loveless marriage ,always telling them it's implication.

" Hy babe " Taseer brought me out of my reverie

"Hlo hun ,welcome back ,how's school ?" I said getting up to collect his laptop bag .

" hmm what's wrong with my pumpkin ,I won't get the hug I've been dreaming of since I left " he pouted and he looked so cute it made me forget all the worries in this world.

" Sorry habiby ,I was carried away " I engulfed him In a tight hug feeling his warmth.

" I know you're worried about simran and I'm also worried too ,but I hate to see you this way Hayatee ,please stop thinking too much and pray for the best ,if they are meant to be nothing on this earth will change that " He said playing with my hair still In my embrace .

" how do you know I was thinking about it "

" why won't I know ?"

" typical nija guy answering a question with another question " I joked pushing him away .

" Am proud of where I came from ,besides it's awesome and an easier route of avoiding a question don't you think ?"

" Here we go again with your smart mouth and way of thinking "

" and you love me so "

" nah not any more ,I'm thinking of filing for a divorce " and then his demeanor changed ,he looks like he's gonna commit murder ,then I realised what I said hits the wrong nerve and I am gonna have to placate him .

" yahsalaam Taseer am really sorry it was meant as a joke you know that you're my one and only and I love you the the square of infinity "

" No you don't Manal , anytime you say those words you have no idea how badly they hurt me ,I've told you a gazillion times over that I don't like that kind of joke but you keep doing it I've started to think you actually meant what you're saying " he said untangling his hands from mine and storming out of my room. Yah rahman what have I just done? This is the first time Taseer is really angry with me and I don't even know what to do ,should I follow him to his room ? Should I call him or sit down and cry my heart out ?.. I choose the former and cried my heart out .That night I didn't go out for dinner thinking Taseer will come and see why I hadn't but he never come he just sent a maid with a short note " eat " on it and that was it .I had to eat thinking that he's lurking around somewhere looking at me ,I kept tossing and turning on bed till 2am when I decided to drop my ego and call my husband . It rang several times but he did not pick .

I am sorry noory ,pls talk to me I can't sleep

Yet no reply .Like play like joke we spent a whole week without me seeing Taseer or hearing his voice and after two days of trying to reach out to him I gave up .Hajia and Martha are too busy with each other I guess they did not realise that Taseer and I are fighting or they choose to ignore us .I wanted to call Ammy or Simran but then I remember what Ammy told Me about trying to solve my marital problems alone and keeping my secrets .I can't tell Simran because she's also battling with a heartbreak and I'm too egoistic to go up to his room and apologise .Truth be told it was my fault coz he had complained about me joking about leaving him several times but I never take heed.I also came to realise that the love I have for my husband is too much for me not to loose sleep at night not talking to him ,I've gotten so used to him that I can feel his presence from a distance ,I've gotten used to eating with him,playing with him and laughing to things which are not even funny just because we are so happy and in love.

The silent treatment or should I say boycott continued for almost 3 weeks till I could not take it anymore I went to Taseer room not bothering to knock and the sight I was met with made my breath hitched and I choked on my spit . I saw Taseer sprawled on bed ,looking at a huge picture of us we took after he was discharged on one of our outings with a tear cascading down his cheeks .I didn't know when and how but I found myself running to him and kneeling beside him .

" I am really sorry Taseer please forgive me Dan Allah ka yafemin, I have no idea this is what you're going through " I begged .

He turned his attention towards me with red rimmed eyes and sighed .

" I thought you can't spend a day without me Manal but I was so wrong about your love for me ,I have a phobia of loosing people I care about and even though I didnt have feelings for Hanifa she always tell me that she will leave me and she indeed left me ,whenever you utter those words I used to have the fear that you'll also leave me and you abandoned me for more than two weeks when you know the way to my room,I refused to pick your call or answer your message thinking you'll come to me and apologise so that you will prove me wrong that you'll never leave me ,that you'll always be by my side " I got up from the kneeling position I was in and lay beside Taseer entwining our hands with tears In my eyes.

" I didn't know habiby and I am so sorry I made you feel that way ,I should have stopped when you asked me to but I didnt ,I should've come to you and apologise but I didn't, I should've proved you wrong and make you know that no matter what and in whatever situation you might find yourself in I'll never leave you because you're my hayat and without you I will be a living shell without a reason to live life ,I cannot justify my actions but here I am beside you asking you to forgive your erring wife with a promise that I will never try that again in shaa Allah " I said lowly and slowly he had to strain his ears to hear me well .

" Apology accepted " that's all he had to say and that's all I needed to hear before leaning in . After a long while because we all lost track of time , I got up to leave but Taseer held me back

" Where do you think you're going Mrs ? Do you have any idea how much I've missed you ??" I smiled and sat beside him " I wasn't planning on leaving you hubby, I wanna grab something to eat now that my appetite is back " I said coyly with a wink .

" So you haven't been eaten well huh? No wonder you weigh like an empty sack of semovita " he teased and I attacked him with a pillow .I went out smiling because I've missed my husband and glad that he's back .Thanking Allah that we're cool and not behaving awkwardly ,now that I know the bad side of Taseer I will never cross the red line again .I've suffered the punishment of a life time.

Finally the long awaited moment had come and Martha and James are ready to accept Islam, I thought they will never do it considering the fact that it comes with a lot of consequences but who can change what Allah had already planned since before we came into the world and whoever Allah had guided right none can put astray .To say that we are happy is an understatement ,we found an Islamic sheikh who came for a conference from Medina and he asked them to repeat the kalimah ,Taseer tugged my hands while tears of joy rolled down my cheeks Hajia cried too and Martha's name was changed to Aminah while James became Muhammad .When asked why they choose the name Martha smiled and said " because it's the name of the woman that brought light to earth ,a salvation to mankind and the most pious being to have lived and walked the earth ,having a name after her will give me pride and inspire me to be good and teach my son the best of manners even though she wasn't able to bring him up herself " that made us all looked at her with awe and I don't need to ask James because I know they share the same reason as to the names they've chosen for themselves .The sheikh gave them some tips as to how to get used to the new faith ,recommending a lot of Islamic books.After he left Hajia gave Aminah a wrapped gift box with a digital Qur'an in it , a counter , an Arabian perfume and lots of hadith's with Arabic text ,transliteration and English translations for easy comprehension .

Taseer's gave them a beautifully decorated Qur'an with it's holder and I gave them my favorite book Enjoy your life by Dr Abdulrahman Al Arifi it is all about the life of the author and the life of the prophet it's about how to live life to the fullest and treat people with humility and kindness I got it when I was trying to change my arrogant attitude online but later bought the hard copy ,how to drive away fear and how to develop your interpersonal skills ,its a book everyone who is having issues on people's criticism and self consciousness should read, Hisnul Muslim and other useful dua books .

" Today is the best day of my life mom " Muhammad said as we were eating he looks so happy I wanted to bottle that moment for him and keep it forever .Aminah smiled lovingly at her son " I've been waiting for this day since before I know what's missing In my life ,there's always this void ,a feeling of emptiness I feel even though we have everything we could ever ask for and I used to complain to your dad ,I wish he's here today and he will accept the faith ,he was a good man and I hope Allah will forgive him ,but the moment I recite the kalimah I feel complete and I'm not afraid to die right this moment. May Allah reward you people with the best home in jannah ,what you did to my son and I is priceless and I am thankful that our paths crossed in life " Aminah said with so much emotion holding unto Hajia's hands ,if not because they are both females I could've suggested they get married ,they care about each other so much you can see it clearly in their eyes .

" You have no idea what you've also done to us by accepting the faith because of us and we will forever be thankful for that ,I pray that Allah will continue to guide us all and may we meet in jannah in shaa Allah " Taseer said giving Muhammad a big bear hug ,I hugged Aminah too and after lunch we went to see the company, Aminah said she wanted to announce it to everyone about her conversion even though she's nervous that woman is strong and fearless and she said She's ready for the worst and she isn't afraid that most or all of the shareholders in the company might withdraw their assets from the company . Surprisingly some of the board members congratulated her ,while others didn't look happy neither object to it God so kind they said they don't have a problem with her faith since it's a free old under the condition that she won't try to islamize the company. She assured them that she has no intention of doing so and since they are not operating on usury or illegal products everything is good and in line with her religion.

During the drive back home, Aminah looked at Taseer , "Muntaseer why don't you stay here and take up the role of CEO here before Muhammad comes of age" Aminah said casually as if what she said is the most natural thing to say while the three of us were shocked with the exception of Muhammad .

" What? you are all looking at me as if I've grown horns " she joked

" Growing horns won't surprise us as much as what you've said just now " Hajia said looking at Taseer urging him to say something from the front passenger seat ,but it was like he has lost his voice, seconds turned into minutes before Taseer finally spoke ." Thank you so much ma'am but I don't think that's a good idea ,am not experienced and am already working for my in law hence the reason why I came here In the first place "

" I know that alright? But there's no other person I can trust to manage the company more than you ,besides I'm getting too old and now that I've find my purpose in life all I want to do is dedicate my life to worshipping Allah ,you don't have to say yes now but please consider it " she pleaded and we all fell into a tense silence .

Later that night ,Taseer kept tossing and turning ,I know exactly what he is thinking about .

" Habiby you know you can always say no to her right ? And if you agree with her Abby won't mind he will be happy for you "

" Am not worried about all that Hayatee, am worried about a totally different issue ,I know I have told you that this is my dream but I just feel like I'm not ready ,like this is not the right time ,like I don't deserve to become CEO without working for it and earning the position ,what about all those deligent workers that had been in the company right from the scratch ? What if I can't do it and I fail her ? What if all goes wrong ? What if being in power will make me forget my Rabb and intoxicated on power ? What if I become a tyrant ? but I will pray istikhara and ask for Allah's guidance in this matter and then what is meant to be will be " He said looking so sad and vulnerable like a lost child ,if it was someone else in my husband's position ,he will jump at the slightest opportunity and take up the position without a second thought but this isn't another person ,this is Muntaseer Muhammad ,the humble guy that stole my heart at first sight.