It has been almost three months since Muntaseer came into our home and my friendship with Simran and Jiddah had gone down the drain because of my stupid ego. They tried everything possible in their own power to see that I have come down and forgive them but I didn't so they got fed up and left me to suffer in silence all alone with no one to talk to.

Muntaseer had talked to me several times to forgive what ever wrong they have done to me because Allah loves those who forgives but still I didn't take heed .He never relent tho because he always draw my attention to the effects of being egoistic and an unforgiving person but still I don't want to admit my mistake . Ammy had also asked about my friends and I use to tell her that they are just busy because our final exams are coming up . Muntaseer no longer smiles warmly at me ,he is always lost in thoughts and whenever I ask what is wrong with him he will tell me nothing .

Today after school I saw Simran walking towards her car and typing on her phone with a huge smile gracing her beautiful face and I didn't know when I waved at her saying " it's the king of your heart right ?" She whirled around with a look of shock that I actually did talk to her but suddenly composed herself and a look of hurt crossed her features before she ignored me and continued typing on her phone. That made me so angry ,how could she ignore me after all she offended me and is being punished for that .' it's all your fault for being so childish and a hot tempered person plus your ego too ' a reasonable voice in my head advised.

The car ride has turned to an awkward ride now since something is bothering Muntaseer and he refused to tell me ,he hardly speaks unless he's been spoken to and he always looks on edge.

His phone ranged indicating an incoming call,he lazily picked the call saying salam and the next thing I heard was " innalillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un what happened to her ? Am coming right away tell her to stay strong she will be fine in shaa Allah " with that he cut the call and sped up ,I have a fear of speed right from childhood so I started shouting asking him to stop the damn car and let me out and he shouted back " I'm sorry Manal ,but my mom had been admitted in the hospital I have to go and see her " that should have made me calm down and pity for the life of the woman right ? But me being me said the most horrible words a person can say to someone who is running to save the life of the most important person in the life of everyone .

" who cares if she's in the hospital or she's already dead ?stop the damn car Muntaseer or I swear to God you'll regret it ,just drop me at home and go to wherever she is I don't care,all I care about now is to be at home, you refused to talk to me and now you're speeding just because that old hag has been admitted are you God? Can you give her health or stop her from dying?you can't do anything about it because you're helpless and you'll be helpless always . " I shouted at him again .

The look he gave me send chills down my spine it was that of pure disgust and he looked very angry .He calmly stopped the car ,came out to my side opened the door and dragged me out of the car ,before I could recover from the shock of what he has done he has already left leaving me stranded in an unfamiliar surroundings since he diverted from the route home after receiving the call. I felt very angry at that moment ,I hailed a cab seething with rage and went home

I met Ammy pacing up and down muttering some prayers ,she didn't even notice that I had come back ." Ammy " I called her running towards her and engulfed her in a tight hug and she got out of my embrace looking at me with so Much anger .

" what have you done Manal ?is this how we bring you up ? To treat people anyhow you feel like just because Allah has bestowed upon you wealth ,fame and a family who loves you to bits ?" She bellowed angrily .

" don't you know that your father ,his wealth and everything he owns is nothing compared to another man's wealth ? Don't you think Allah can take me away at anytime even if am perfectly okay? Don't you know that your dad has nothing before and now he has everything but he is still humble because him and I knows what poor people are going through because we've been there before ??? Why are you so different from what we are and the things we teach you ? You've reached your limit Manal Khaleed and you've driven us to the wall,I will not tolerate this bad habits of yours anymore " she continued looking so angry and disappointed at me .

She left me standing there crying my heart out .Why did everyone hate me ? Why me ?? Ammy had never raised her voice at me ,she's always so calm and loving and now Muntaseer had made my mom hate me to the point of pushing me out of her embrace and shouting at me .Doesn't she know that I fear of speed ? At least she should have given me a chance to explain ,but no Muntaseer is always right and Manal is always wrong .

Few hours later , Abby came back shouting my name and I didn't answer him neither make an attempt to come down. He barged into my room and before I know what's happening he gave me a resounding slap which is the first time my dad is raising his hands on me .I wailed at the top of my voice a combination of shock and fear in my eyes .

" I'm so disappointed In you Manal ,I regret loving you so much ,where have I gone wrong ehh? I give you the best of both western and Islamic education and I never teach you to treat people the way you wanted but since this is how you've turned to be I know what I will do and because you no longer have respect for me you even have the guts to not answer me when I called you huh ?wear your hijab and let's go back to the hospital and God save you Manal,if anything bad happens to that woman then Muntaseer will hate you for the rest of his life and you must apologize to him and his mother for being such a heartless and inconsiderate child I didn't raise " with that being said Abby stormed out as he stormed in and left me with a throbbing heart and cheeks .

We left to the hospital neither Ammy nor Abby spared me with a glance ,they pretended as if I didn't exist and kept talking on how lucky Hajia (Muntaseer's mother) is and how thankful they are to the good neighbours that decided to bring her to the best hospital In town ,she has a heart problem and some ailments I don't know of . As we reached the ward where she has been admitted ,I saw Muntaseer crouched down beside his mum holding her hands while she's smiling weakly down at him

" please don't leave me Hajia ,you are my world without you I'll be lost and you are the only family I have " he looked vulnerable with red eyes indicating that he has been crying and just then Abby announced our presence walking towards Muntaseer hugging him

" in shaa Allah she will be fine ,just be patient and pray for her ,we are here for you Muntaseer you're part of us " Abby soothes patting his back gently while he let his guard down and cried in Abby's arm like a baby.

It's then that it downed on me the gravity of what I had done,his mum is all that he has and here I was telling him that she should die ,Muntaseer already hates me that is official . With a cold feet and a heavy heart I walked towards his mum whose hands are in that of Ammy ,and before I could utter a word Muntaseer was beside me with red rimmed eyes

" leave this room and don't you dare come near my mother again " he calmly stated with so much venom in his voice.

His mom shook her head weakly indicating that he shouldn't do that and Ammy and Abby glared at me ,his eyes softened and he went to sit beside Abby .I started crying and with a trembling voice I said " Hajia how are you feeling right now? As'alul lahul azeem rabbil arshil Kareem an yashfiyaki" I prayed to her and she weakly smiled at me ,I guessed she's too weak to talk.

I turned towards Muntaseer who is shooting daggers at me and with a defeated look I said " I am sorry Muntaseer ,I know what I did was wrong and I have no justification for that ,please forgive me and I am sorry for your mother may Allah grant her quick and total shifaaa ,don't worry too much in shaa Allah rabbi she'll be fine " a tear rolled down my cheeks and his eyes softened but he didn't say a word to me ,I have never seen him angry and to know that it was me who brought out the worst in him breaks my heart to pieces. He is always gentle and calm but today he looks so vulnerable and angry and it's mostly my fault. On the other side is my parents who am sure hates me with all their being and I can't help but hate myself too .I suck at everything and knowing that I had let my parents down makes me feel sick. It's true that they have given me the best of everything and none of them is arrogant but yah Allah I have messed up real bad.

No one smiles or talks to me at home until I finished my final exams in the university. I have become thin because of lack of peace of mind and I hardly eat added with the fact that I have no shoulder to cry on. Muntaseer hardly come home and whenever he does is to change clothes and take food to his mother ,Ammy practically lives in the hospital now tending to Hajia while Muntaseer refused to leave her side .

Alhamdulillah her health has improved and she can talk and walk even though it's with a limp and she covers only a short distance. I mostly visit her during the weekends because of my exams. Now that we have graduated and I have nothing to do than to read books ,cry and cry and cry again I decided to make amends with my friends because only Allah knows how badly I have missed them especially simran. I came down dressed in a blue Abayah with a lighter shade of blue veil to go with it and a black flat shoe with a black purse. Ammy was in the kitchen making dinner , though it's a few minutes past 2pm I guessed it's because she want to go to the hospital. I cleared my throat before saying " well done Ammy ,please can I go visit Simran ?" I asked hoping that she will talk to me .She just nodded without even glancing at my direction .I felt really bad that it had come to the stage where even the woman who gave birth to me ,who loves me the most in this world can't stand the sight of me .

With silent tears flowing down my cheeks I kneeled in front of Ammy holding unto the edge of her wrapper and started crying out loud saying " Ammy please forgive me by Allah I have realised my mistake and I am ready to change ,please Ammy it is almost two months and I can't stand you being angry at me ,I will do whatever you asked me to and stop whatever you don't want me to be doing ,please Ammy I miss your love and warmth ,I know I am a terrible person and you didn't raise me to be so ,I promise to be someone you can be proud of from now on till the day I die ,just look at me ,talk to me ,smile at me and pat my head it will mean everything to me right now " I pleaded still in kneeling position .

Ammy looked up at me with unshed tears in her eyes but at least she wasn't glaring ." I know you've not been on talking terms with your friends because after what you did to Muntaseer I went to Simran's house and apologized to her on your behalf though she didn't tell me what actually happened but I know that they played a prank on you and you being you ,you took a drastic decision just because you feel like ,am sure she will be happy to forgive you since you've missed her and finally realised her importance in your life " She said still making a dough with flour .

" Ammy are you Still angry at what I have done to Muntaseer ?" I asked hoping that she will Say no and hug me tight .

" you will know when your Abby comes back tomorrow from his trip and hopefully if Hajia is discharged then we will have a meeting " with that being said ,I wiped my face which thankfully I didn't wear any make up on and left for Simran's home.

Everyone looked surprise to see me but they didn't verbalise it ,Simran's mom looked at me as if I had grown horns as she said " Manal wata sabon gani,we miss seeing you here especially your favorite person ,she always tell stories about you ,she will be like Manal loves this ,Manal did this and that but am happy you finally come hope your mom is fine" she asked and I looked down in shame as to what I have done to poor Simmy who loves me so much and even when I hurt her she still talks about me to her family and the fact that everyone noticed that we are no longer the best buddies makes my heart hurt .

" Ammy Is fine Alhamdulillah and she sends her regards .Mama I am really sorry for what I have done to Simran please forgive me it won't happen again in shaa Allah " I pleaded and she smiled patting my head saying

" Manal things like this happens in every relationship ,what keeps a relationship strong is patience and the ability to forgive the people you love when they wrong you , there is no relationship on this earth that doesn't have it's ups and downs and no one can guarantee that they won't hurt you be it sooner or later ,just be patient and understanding and know that the people who loves us never leave us ,they will always be in our hearts no matter how deeply they hurt us .Allah ya miki albarka " she advised and I thanked her asking where Simran Is and she told me to go meet her in her room.

I took hesitant steps and knocked when I reached the door,not knowing that the news of my arrival had reached Simran who is waiting for me .She opened the door and engulfed me in a bone crushing hug and I don't know whether it's the fact that what Mama told me touched me or what Ammy did or the fact that it has been long when last I received a hug from someone who loves me. I broke down in tears and I cried my heart out ,every pain, every frustration, every ounce of anger and every feeling of loneliness I felt ,I poured them all out and Simran did nothing but soothe me ,rubbing my back and telling Me it is okay and that she's here and she's not going anywhere .After I calmed down and washed my face ,Simran punched me hard

" ouch ! What was that for ?" I cried out.

" For hurting me and making me miss you like mad,for breaking our promise that we will never stay angry at each other for long and for ignoring the fact that I exist and I have a heart ,for making me feel all alone with no one to share my deepest and most secretive secrets " she stated looking a tad bit angry but she was smiling .

" Awwww Habibaty I am really very deeply sorry ,I know what I did was wrong and I wish I could turn back time just to make amends ,but that's in the past Besty and you have no idea how much much more I have missed you ,I even see you in my dreams and cried because I missed you so much and don't have the courage to come and apologize. Do find it in your beautiful heart to forgive me please " I apologised with my best puppy eyes and a pout which I know will win my best friend over

." Come here " she said and I scuttled closer and she enveloped me in another warm hug.

I told her everything that happened ,she was disappointed in me too but she supported me saying that it has been destined to happen and that since I have learnt my lesson I should never do anything of such nature.

" But Simmy Abby and Ammy hates me so much they can't even glance at my direction " I complained looking sad .

" They don't hate you Manalie,They can never hate you and will never do that, it's part of their love to show you the right way and make you change for the best .Manal you have messed up real bad to be honest with you, I keep telling you to stop treating people anyhow but you never listen and now see what you've got yourself into. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you dear but now that I am here ,let's make this right.Stop worrying too much ,see how thin you've become and your hair stinks " she said laughing so hard .

I didn't realize how much I have missed the sound of her laughter until now . I threw a pillow at her and we started having a pillow fight laughing so hard till our stomachs hurt.

"Wash my hair for me please " I begged

" Nah till you call me aunty Simran with respect " she smirked

" Yahsalam Simmy why are you being difficult ? Will you come and wash my hair right this instant or should I command my royal guards to behead you ?" I commanded sounding like a royal queen and Simran burst into a fit of laugher

" Royal guards ,Royal command huh ?" She asked and I nodded.

" then make your royal guards wash the stinking hair for you my Lady " she bowed in a mock way and it was my turn to laugh .

After so much fun she washed my hair and blow dried it.I felt a lot more better and it's all thanks to Simran.

Then Jiddah came, I was surprised to see her but Simmy told me she asked her to come since it's a re union and I have offended her too ,I apologized to Jiddah and told her I planned on going to her house the next day

" Don't worry Manal ,let us leave all that behind ,now that you are back I can't wait to hear your opinion about my upcoming wedding " she said giving me a side hug while Simran went out to bring something for her to eat .

" OMA when is the wedding? Who is the groom,what are we going to wear and who will be the Bride's maid Simran or I " I asked excitedly

" woah slow your horses ma'am ask one question at a time " Jiddah teased looking amused.

" I am too excited and also sad that I have missed out your engagement and you didn't even have the courtesy to tell me " I pinched her lightly earning a death glare from her.

" I did send you a message on WhatsApp but then you blocked me " she pouted.

" I am really sorry Jiddah habibty ,I really am do forgive me please " I apologised again with a lone tear trailing down my cheeks .

We ate to our hearts content, made merry and had a lot of fun before I realised it was already past maghrib .I started panicking saying that Ammy will kill me today

." Relax miss Kay ,I called ya mamma and she consented to my plea that you should sleep over here tonight " Simran said with a fake British accent and we both laughed at her .

Jiddah filled me in about her fiance who happens to be her cousin and the wedding is fixed to be by the end of the year .

" why don't we ask the driver to take us to the hospital so that we can see how Hajia is doing and you should apologise to Muntaseer again " Simran suggested.

" That's a very good idea ,even Mama can tag along too " Jiddah added .

" yeah let's go " I consented thanking Allah for giving me such amazing friends who never hold a grudge and are ready to forgive me even though I was rude and I have hurt them beyond measure .

We met Ammy at the hospital and she looks happy to see my friends she kept asking God to bless them and was happy to hear about Jiddah's wedding .Though she did not talk to me I was glad she looks happy and is smiling. We left the elder women to chat in the room while we waited outside ,teasing each other and them filling me in with the things I have missed in their respective lives .