I jannah in shaa Allah.

If you ask me who am I ? I doubt if I can tell you because I honestly don't know .My mind and thoughts have been in a jumble since that day Muntaseer choose to embarrass the living hell out of me or so I forced myself to believe. I can vividly recall what happened that day after he said ' she is not my wife but she will soon be in shaa Allah '

They were the most beautiful words I've ever heard in my life but the reasonable part of my brain was telling me that he didn't mean what he had said he was just trying to help Me out of an awkward situation .But yah Allah ! He looked right into my eyes and I can swear I saw pure sincerity in his eyes .The car ride back home was silent and neither him nor I make any effort to break it ,it was a peaceful silence ,the kind that everyone is thinking of something deep and is oblivious of the world around.

Here we are at the end of the 4th week that I had vowed to make Muntaseer's life miserable but I've given up trying to do anything about it because it's impossible. I've accepted my fate and I'm ready to fast 3 days in a row which will be Saturday, Sunday and Monday in shaa Allah as is expected of any Muslim that had vowed to do something but couldn't.

Since it is Friday and I had no where to go and I have already finished typing my assignment which is due to be submitted on Monday ,I decided to recite 4 juz'u of the holy Qur'an because my Islamic teacher will come tomorrow after his two weeks leave. Seeing that I am alone and my parents will not come back till after maghrib I started reciting out loud till the adhan for asr prayer was called.I made some dua after praying .I love moments like this when I'm the only person at home, it's not just about the privacy but the peace ,that eerie silence that gives you the chills,the kind of horror imaginations I conjure up in my mind and because I have a phobia of being around a lot of people it suits me perfectly.

Ammy asked me to Cook dinner so I plugged my headphones listening to my Taylor swift playlist and got to work .Before sunset I had finished everything and I went up to take a refreshing shower before the loves of my life come home.

My phone ranged and it was Jiddah telling me that she's coming over ." hope everything is okay with you " I asked worriedly because it's so sudden and the fact that its getting late and she doesn't have a ride ,even if she do I consider it improper.

" yeah ,everything is fine just that I didn't get to see Muntaseer today after school and I won't be able to survive not seeing him till Monday " she dropped the bomb that blasts like a volcano eruption.

" what did you just said ??" I shouted.

" ohhh sorry ,I didn't tell you I have a major crush on him right ?or should I say obsession because he's everywhere,he is in my thoughts ,my dreams ,my eyes in fact I think of him every second of every day" she stated unfazed by the way I shouted.

Two can play a game right ? So I calmly told her that her so called crush slash obsession no longer lives in my father's house and that I didn't know where he lives even if I do I'm not telling her so she should save her energy and stay at home which will save her life from my wrath.

I called Simran immediately after telling her what just happened and the devil in form of my best friend started laughing and I heard Jiddah's voice in the background squealing happily saying Manal loves Muntaseer ,she loves him OMG someone has become a lovebird" .

"Snapadoodles!!! what have you two just done? " I shrieked.

" played a prank obviously " answered Simran sounding mischievous.

" God ! I hate you guys right now ,Simran I trust you with my life and there you're plotting to kill me with an evil witch in person of Jiddah " I sounded defeated because that's how I feel right now. For the love of God and anything worth loving on this earth who does that to someone they call a Besty ,tell me who ???

" Afwaan Manaly forgive us please will you ?it's just that you've been so out of it throughout this week ,always deep in thoughts and smiling occasionally and if I tell you you're in love you'll never admit it, so I have this idea of making you kind of jealous so that we will confirm our suspicion and it also happens that I took Umma to her friend's house which is opposite that of Jiddah so I hatched the plan and here we are " she adumbrates sounding too excited for my liking.

" what colour of gown will you prefer our dazzling bride who is heed over heels in love ?" Jiddah asked from the background again

" you know what ?I hate you guys with the whole of my heart don't ever talk to me ever again " I said getting frustrated, I can't accept that I feel something for Muntaseer neither deny that I do.

" you meant to say we are the best and you love us way too much you don't have the right words to express ?" Simran said before I cut the call.

I am in trouble ,I'm doomed and this is just the beginning of yet another miserable life at school.

Dinner was fun because Ammy and Abby choose to be sweet today ,they cracked jokes and tell us a lot of stories and an added recipe is that Muntaseer was also sitting opposite to me which gives me the chance to steal glances at him here and there .Yah Allah ! I have become a hopeless romantic and it's unusual for a girl who has never had a boyfriend in her life. ' Blame it on the books you read ' the annoying voice in my head chided.

" Manal is becoming more jovial these days ,she laughs a lot and smiles more than necessary but I am glad she's changing " Abby stated while wiping his mouth with a napkin.

" that's what I observed too ,tho she looks like she's on edge ,as if something is wrong with her " answered Ammy passing Abby a cup of water.

Here we go again ,my mum can read my every thought ,every look and every gesture, I just can't lie to her knowing that she never buy my lies , but I won't repeat the same mistake again so I just smiled saying " I'm okay Ammy it's just a slight headache and I've taken a pain reliever before you came back . I'll be fine in shaa Allah "

" Are you sure or should I take you to the hospital ?" Muntaseer asked sounding concerned and the stupid butterflies in my stomach started dancing .

" No thank you I will be fine I promise " I said

" You know Manal is a very strong girl ,she tries to hide her pain from the world ,she never want to show her weakness unless if it's beyond her ,am sure she will be fine by tomorrow in shaa Allah Rabbi" Abby stated with a hint of pride in his voice.

Dear Abby why the long speech just for the fact that I lied to have a headache ?. what he said is true though , I hardly show emotions because to me it's a sign of weakness and people use your weakness to hurt you ,I might be harsh, rude and arrogant but I have a fragile heart underneath that facade.

After dinner we all gathered to study Bugyatul Muslim with Abby because it is a family tradition since when I was a Kid to study an Islamic book mostly ahadiths each Friday after dinner.

" Muntaseer come and read this hadith for us today ,I am kind of tired " Abby said motioning for Muntaseer to sit where he usually sat and taking over Muntaseer's seat before he can protest .

Subhanallah the way he explained the hadith ,the way he interpreted it ,giving us so many back up hadiths,telling us the origin of why the hadith was narrated and so much more educative facts ,he was better than Abby no doubt about it ,my heart swell with love ,Abby's eyes were full of pride while that of Ammy admiration. Muntaseer Muhammad when will you ever stop surprising me ?

After family time and more fun and laughter ,I decided to retire for the day but Abby stopped me by saying " your teacher had called saying that he is sick and can't make it this week ,so make du'a for him and keep revising before he gets well and come back "

" I can teach her Abby if you don't mind " Muntaseer offered.

" No don't mind its okay really ,I can wait for him " I declined in haste not giving Abby the chance to say yes .Secretly hoping that Abby will insist that I accept Muntaseer's offer but I fear that in the process of taking lessons from him I might end up swooning over him instead of giving my attention to the lessons at hand .

" No Manal that's rude, bana son haka, its okay Muntaseer you can teach her tomorrow at any time that's convenient for you " Abby said with a note of finality in his tone. I had no choice than to pretend to be forced to say yes .Even though I was dancing in victory inwardly.

🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀

The next morning I didn't come down for breakfast because I'm fasting and I don't want Ammy to start asking questions as to the reason why I am fasting on a Saturday instead of Monday or Thursday. So I took my breakfast to my room ,called the maid and asked her to finish it and take the used plates down so that it will deceive Ammy .

During lunch ,I lied that I am not hungry and I will eat whenever I feel hungry, that's when Muntaseer called telling me that he is in the living room and I should come along with my books .I took my bag and wore my longest hijab praying that he will not ask me questions I don't have answers to, I don't want him to think that am a dumbo.

" Assalamu Alaikum " I greeted while entering the room scanning with my eyes for a convenient space to sit.

" Wa'alaikissalam Hajiya Manal,how are you doing today ?" He greeted cheerily with his signature smile motioning with his hands for me to pass him the books, thankfully I have two copies one for me and the other for the teacher because he use to leave the books with me. I passed him the books and sat a little far away from him fidgeting with my fingers and looking down at my toes like they are the most interesting thing in the world .

" Lets start with Quran koh ?" He asked .

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" it's okay you can start with any one you want " I answered .

He is very good at all the books if not because no one is perfect I can call him Mr perfect .He asked questions and I answered. After we finished he handed me back the books to put away in my bag .As I was making an attempt to get up and leave which is not whole hearted of course, he said " it seems like you're fasting today because I noticed that you didn't take your breakfast and lunch "

How did you know Mr spy? I wanted to ask but opted for " I've taken my breakfast in my room in case you didn't notice and I will go take lunch now " he just smiled saying " perfect then ,I didn't take lunch either so let's go and eat together while you tell me things about you that I am yet to know "

hahaha this man will be the end of me ,what's his business whether I'm fasting or not ? So I decided to tell him the truth because I can't risk breaking my fast because of him tho he is the cause of the fast in the first place but it'll take me a thousand years of torture for me to admit that .

" alright ,I wasn't entirely honest am fasting but I don't want Ammy and Abby to know so please let this be between us .I will fast tomorrow and the day after in shaa Allah " I said sounding defeated .

He smiled again which I noticed he is never tired of doing " okay pumpkin, I will guard this secret with my life and can we be fasting together every Monday and Thursday please ?" He asked looking hopeful. I smiled and said " yes,that'll be good I'll tell Ammy and Abby too, we started fasting few months back but I guess we all became too lazy to continue ,but now that you suggested it,it'll become a family affair once again in shaa Allah " with that I left telling him I will see him later and went up to my room smiling like I've won a lottery . I almost called Simran to fill her in but remembered that we are no longer on talking terms .As if on cue her text came in

Haba Manal habibty,come down already mana, I'm sorry ,I really am but you should understand that I did it for your sake not meaning to hurt you .Call me please I miss you so much I'm beginning to get sick .

I badly want to call her but I stopped myself from doing that ,she hurt me and I need to show her that she doesn't get to choose what is best for me or not ,what is the point of admitting my feelings to them or Muntaseer himself? Besides he is too good for me ,we are totally opposite in character and as much as I want to be with him that arrogant part of me is telling me that he is not up to my standard and it will be a shame for me to marry him . I slid into the covers and slept before maghrib salat because I have just lost my appetite for what I had planned on making for iftaar.

" Manal wake up it's already dark and almost isha " I heard Ammy's voice faintly as if she's somewhere far away .Then she started shaking me gently .

' Alhamdulillahil lazi ahyani ba'ada ma amatani wa ilaihin nushoor" I prayed opening my eyes yawning.

" Ammy I'm awake ,lemme shower ,pray and come down " I said walking towards the bathroom.

" Are you sure you're okay ?are you still having headache? " she asked with concern.

" I'm fine Ammy ,its just that I am tired " I said with a smile, I turned back and sat beside her hugging her and snuggling into her saying " you worry too much Ammy, I'm okay just lazying around and you know how much I love sleep don't you ?"

"Yeah I do , yallah hurry and come down ,time is going ".She get out of my hold .

After praying I went down to meet my family waiting for me to eat dinner .

" Abby good evening ,Muntaseer well done " I greeted while sitting down on a chair beside Ammy ,today I'm in love with her all over again and I want her to pamper me.

I heard a beep indicating an incoming message

Iftar Mubarak Abby's princess ,there are pancakes in the kitchen for you .Hope you weren't too hungry ? May Allah accept it from you .Amin .

I looked up to him with a smile and typed

Alhamdulillah it was okay and I didn't even feel hungry, thanks for the pancakes you're just the best Taseer .

I pressed send before I change my mind .I kept on eating my food teasing Ammy that she has started loosing her cooking skills because she's getting old .Abby looked at her fondly with so much love in his eyes saying " don't mind Manal ,you'll always be the best Cook in this world she's just so jealous that I hardly take good 5 spoonfuls of her meal whenever she cooks " Ammy nodded with a hmm chewing her food while I smiled. I admire my parent's relationship and I hope that someday I'll have a love like theirs .

Another beep and the text reads

Did you just give me a nickname Taseer? Wow I love it Manalie keep calling me that .

Me being me just glared at him while he laughs calling the attention of my parents who didn't know what was going on .

" what's funny Muntaseer? " Abby asked looking amused . I did some somersaults in my mind saying serves you right and sticking my tongue out to him .

" Ammm it's nothing just a funny text from a friend " he stammered looking like someone who has been caught doing a terrible thing. So even Muntaseer can lie huh ? though it wasn't entirely a lie.

After dinner I went to the kitchen to take my pancakes and the devil followed suit .

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" Do you like it ? Is it delicious ?" He asked nervously. I just took the first bite and it took me to another world ,it is super delicious better than the best pancakes I've ever made ,with eyes closed and an expression showing that I'm enjoying it way too much I replied him with " this tastes like heaven Muntaseer thank you for taking the trouble to make them . I am grateful jazakallah khair "

" you're welcome ,call me Taseer not Muntaseer I like the new name better"He said looking into my eyes and I quickly shut them off ,not wanting to be lost in them.

I am not going to open my eyes until you leave this kitchen ,I kept ranting in my head .

" Manal did you hear me ?" He asked .

" yes I did I will see if I can do that ,now go and do whatever it is that you do when you're not working, at school or eating " I said with my eyes still closed .

" I read books " he said quietly if not because we were the only people in the kitchen I won't have heard him. I opened by eyes wide and clear with excitement in my eyes and I almost jumped saying " really ?what type of books ? Is it novels ?? Can you borrow me some ?? I love books so much too ,do you love Harry Potter?? What of John Grisham's and Jodi Picoult , do you read Abubakar Gimba's books and Chinua Achebe's?? " I rambled in one breath .

" woah woah ,slow down Missy .So something on this planet can make you this excited ? You're so full of surprises Manal Khaleed " he said half laughing ,half serious .

I glared at him ,pouted and stomped out of the kitchen with him trailing behind me with my unfinished pancakes .

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" I have a copy of the newest book in the series, have you read it ?" he asked which made me to stop and turn abruptly with eyes wide again and mouth agape.

" you mean Harry Potter and the cursed child " I squealed .

" no I haven't please bring it for me now now now ,I'll be your slave for as long as you want me to ,big bro Muntaseer go just go or should I follow you and collect it? " he was just staring at me with a look of wonder and awe in his eyes but I didn't care ,all that matters is the book ,I'll worry about how childishly I behaved later.