When your love is not yours

Does it hurt?

The eerie darkness of that night would never escape my memory. I clearly remember the pitch-black curtain draped over the sky and the twisted, warped shapes that the stars made against the blackness. The milky speckles twirled and danced along the sky in various patterns, tugging at the corners of my lips in a way that almost made me smile. It was hard to shove aside the worries corrupting my mind, but eventually, I stopped walking over the soft sand below my feet and just... stopped thinking. I was alone. Nothing from my life could touch me. Not a single thing could harm me. I stared up at the sky and studied the silver glow of the moon. She smiled down at me with love so intense it warmed my soul like a fireplace on a cold winter's night. And there I was, standing on the shore at midnight to escape my life at home, not wanting to do anything but cry. But the look that the moon gave me didn't cause the storm to go on inside of me. Instead, a hot blue fire flickered in my heart and soon started to grow, eating at all of the dark emotions in its path. My worries burned away, and the tears that were starting to form at the corners of my eyes melted down my cold face with a rush of relief.

Crying felt good, especially when they were tears that I didn't want to push away. They weren't drops of sadness, no. They were more like the feelings of joy, relief, happiness and freedom streaming away from my hurt eyes. They were temporary cleaners to wash away the pain. I never cried, it just wasn't me. But that night, under the protection of millions of stars and the beautiful moon, I felt like I could let the floodgates open with a single snap of my fingers. I stared up at the sky and continued to let my pain run away for the moment. The cold midnight waves rolled in and tickled my feet as I stood in the balcony not ever wanting to leave.

I heard the opening sound of a knob as I turned around only to see my love enters into my room with a beautiful gummy smile crept on his face which makes thin eyes, I immediately replied with my smile and ran to him and hugged tightly.

"Oppa". I whispered. " oh my beautiful little sister misses me that much?". He asked curiously maintaining hug tightly. "ahh actually I was waiting for my kid to eat together". He teased me as I pulled away from him and hit his chest playfully and pout." Look who's telling me, you're such a tease Oppa, I always wait for you not you ". I whined playfully making him chuckled.

"Ahhh I'm so tired and hungry let's eat first then we will argue whole night". He stated annoyingly while I rolled my eyes at his attitude.

"So boring your Oppa". I mentally scoffed.

We had our dinner eomma made gimbap for us to eat, it's my favourite dish but he likes meat type like japchae and lamb skewers, I prefer veg over non-veg it's not like I hate meat but vegetables are healthier than meat according to me but he, he's a meat lover and he ate a bunch of meat types.

"How was your day?" Appa asked Oppa while reading his newspaper as I kept playing with my feet near the door of a living room as I felt bored. "Ahh, it's a little bit tiring". Oppa stated uninterestedly." Did you find antagonist?". Appa asked curiously as he looks little bit scare while asking him I don't know why and what was the topic I'm so confused as I didn't get anything but I'm trying to understand it. " Naah the antagonist is so intelligent he didn't leave any clues". Oppa told in defeated, I can see he's bit upset an urge to help him develop in me but I know I'm useless as I mentally make fun of me.

'"He' wait how did you know whether the antagonist is male or female?". Appa asked suddenly by lowering the newspaper." Actually my 6th sense is telling me the antagonist would be male as long as I know the illegal work which is happening females can't do this and I've got a doubt who might be". He finished making Appa nodded in response yes.

I don't know why but hearing all those things some kind of curiosity develops in me so I asked: "What kind of illegal work is it?". As soon as I complete my Appa and Yoongi Oppa both looks at me in shock." How long have you been standing here?". Appa asked in sternly as I gulped down hardly.

I look away and I was hesitant to give answers maybe I asked a wrong question, Yoongi Oppa notices it and quickly compose the atmosphere" Appa we can talk this later I'm tired now c'mon Hana I wanted your help, let's go". He stood up and come towards me as Appa was glaring at me dangerously. He grabbed my hand and pulled with him, after reaching his room he plopped himself and shut his eyes tiredly." What help you want ?".

" it's just I want you to massage my back I work so hard today and can you press my shirt I've to go somewhere tomorrow morning". He stated tiredly as I pout in annoyance." You already know I hate doing massage and doing household work". I whined like a child as he sighed." You don't do household chores as you do outside work". He mocked.

" can't I do the job just like you"? I asked irritatedly as I'm not allowed to work." Its not save". He replied uninterestedly. " why? You can do but not me that's completely partiality". I protested as I stomped my feet but little he did know that I heard his whispers when I went outside" only you know how dangerous the world is going day by day, it's very difficult to live for innocent people like you in this cruel and harmful planet.

"What does that mean a dangerous world ? Something has happened? Was he talking about his case? ". As I mentally fighting with myself argh I'm so confused right now I headed to my cozy room.