sorry for the really late upload! i was editing it earlier and accidentally fell asleep, when i woke up i completely forgot all about it ):

hope you enjoy! x

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I'm doing, okay. I thought it would be worse.

I was determined that I wasn't going back there with Issac, that I was going to put what was best for me first but, seeing his eyes made me rethink. They looked so lost, broken, painful.

I couldn't leave him, I love him. Could I really abandon him after everything he's done for me? He's helped me through my darkest times, he's come back to me after my rejections and he took the time to wait for me.

He may have lied and I'm still hurt that he was able to look me in the eyes and tell me false but I just can't walk away now. I know he didn't mean to hurt me, he was just scared.

I haven't had much time to process my emotions, the past few months have been about Ellie - who is now a staggering 8 months pregnant. At the moment everyone is discussing where the baby should live, we've come to the conclusion that we can't separate mother from baby, so if the baby lives at Issac, so will Ellie.

On top of all this high drama twenty-four seven, I'm on my last week of college. I can finally leave and start working full time! I am so happy to be leaving.

"Surely you can't be happy about the thought of Ellie moving in?" Amelia wide-eyes me. She's hanging out the new clothes she's brought.

"No, I hate it but, it's for the baby" I shrug. Ellie moving in means she'll be around Issac everyday and she was the reason he lied to me in the first place so, I'm slightly worried.

"I mean it would make sense, we have a big house with more then enough room for both of them but, I don't really wanna live with Ellie" She looks over at me, I stare away in thought. I'm sitting cross legged in the middle of Amelia's bed.

We don't even know if this baby is Issac's but we have to be prepared, we've heard nothing from Nathan at all. I see him at college but he doesn't even spare me a glance.

I know Issac has grown to this baby, whenever he talks about her a little twinkle appears in his eyes and it saddens me. I'm trying my best to be supportive but I'm struggling.

This baby is going to be a strain on our relationship but what can I do expect try my hardest? And believe me, I'm trying.

Every scan, checkup, doctors appointment, I'm there. Issac gets scared over the slightest of things meaning I have to go and hold his hand, not that I mind. I want to be there for him but I know I'm being selfish.

I don't want to see Ellie and Issac together. He comforts her when she cries, drives her everywhere, buys her things so she's more comfortable. Which is all very sweet of him but, I guess, I'm insecure.

Add a baby into the mix and everything gets more serious, you have to work as a team, build and learn together. The more time they spend together the more I worry, I don't want to loose Issac but I can see how attached he is already.

Am I being selfish? Me and my mental health are a priority at the moment but, I need to support Issac. I sigh, "What would you do in my situation?" I stare at Amelia from across the room. She pauses, to think. "Urm" She frowns her eyebrows, clearly having to think this question over.

"Honestly, I'm not sure" Her eyes meet mine and I frown. "If I loved someone I'd do anything I could for them, a baby would be hard and a massive strain but we'd work together as a team, be the best parents we could be. I'd be a bit hurt by the lies but under the circumstances I think I could work through it" She nods, I think her words over.

I sigh, again and flop down on the bed. Throwing my arms over my head, I hear Romeo near by. Issac is out baby clothes shopping, with Ellie. I did have an invite but I decided to spend some time with Amelia. "I haven't seen much of you lately" I sit up, thinking about it, I haven't seen her at all for weeks.

"Well you haven't been around much" She raises her eyebrows at me, I pull a face. "No I mean, when I have been round I've seen nothing of you or much at college" I frown, I hope everything is okay.

"I do my college work from home, I don't have to actually be in to finish my project so I decided to do it from the comfort of my own home" She smiles wickedly. "So why haven't I seen you?" I'm very curious. "I've been about" She shrugs, a giggle in her throat.

"What's going on that you're not telling me?" I eye her. Her cheeks have suddenly turned a shade pink and she's become all giggly. She about to answer when her phone pings, she peers at it, a smile breaks out on her rosy face. "You've met someone" I suddenly realise.

"What? No" She tries her hardest to keep a straight face but it's not working, a smile twinges. "Amelia Flynn, don't lie to me" I point, "I can tell" I stand from the bed.

"How can you tell?" Her face turns innocent and I almost roll my eyes. "The colour of your cheeks, giggles, smiling at you phone, It's all very obvious" I state, moving towards her.

"No it's not" She waves off. "Amelia, I wasn't born yesterday. Show me your phone" I hold out my palm. Her eyes dash between me, my hand and her phone before dashing away.

I spin around and she's out the door, thudding down the corridor. "Come back!" I speed after her. I catch up to her pretty fast and throw my arms around her, tackling her for the phone.

We wrestle until I clutch the phone out of her hands and check the screen. I gasp, "Yasmine?" I blink at her, shocked. "Yes" Another smile breaks out. I'm at a loss for words.

"I know how you feel" She turns embarrassed, "I didn't know either" She takes her phone out of my now limp hand. "Then how-?" I cock my eyebrow. Romeo is sniffing at my feet, he investigates the landing that's full of framed photos and cream wallpaper.

"She just came onto me, I was so oblivious to her flirting with me I didn't notice" She throws her arms out, baffled. This situation sounds familiar. "So, what happened?" I can't help being nosy, it's nice to get out of my own life for a minute and listen to someone else's.

"Well, we kissed" She returns to being giggly, it's a nice, warm sound. "That was it really, we were just watching a movie downstairs and she made the first move" Her whole face glows and I can't help but smile for her. She deserves this.

"Oh, I'm so happy for you" I gush, "I hope it works out" We head back to her room. I hear muffled voices downstairs, "Whose that?" I mouth to Amelia. She listens carefully.

"Ellie" She whispers, rolling her eyes. I laugh through the biggest sinking feeling that waves down my body. I want to see Issac, without Ellie but nowadays that seems impossible. "Guys? You home?" Issac calls.

"Yeah, we're upstairs" Amelia says through gritted teeth, she's not happy Ellie is here either. "Come look at the clothes we brought" He sounds cheerful but I find myself frowning. "Coming" She sings in her fake-happy tone. I sigh, we share a glance before going downstairs.

The first thing I see is Ellie giggling over something Issac has said, it makes my gut twist instantly. "Guy!" He beams at us, "Look at all the cute things we got" He looks like a child at Christmas. I sit down on a barstool at the kitchen island.

They show us small little outfits, both of them with smiles up to their ears. As I look at the little pieces of material I have an urge to cry, it's like a wave hitting a rock. I could let go right now and sob a river.

I blink hard and breath, I don't know what I'm exactly crying about but the heavy urge is overpowering and dominating. "Ah! I didn't expect you guys here, what a lovely surprised" Sam grins at us. Bustling through the door with shopping bags.

I manage a small smile, "Is everyone okay?" She looks around, they all mumble a reply. I just nod, knowing if I open my mouth I won't be able to control my tears. She looks at me, as if she knows but moves her head towards the pile of clothes.

"Shopping a success?" She shows her teeth with her wide smile, Ellie nods. "I could of brought the whole place! Everything is so cute" She's ecstatic and I can't keep my self together. "I'm just nipping to toilet" I mumble to Amelia but I think everyone catches it. I almost run to the toilet, shutting the door behind me.

I let go, tears stream down my face. I break down onto the floor, I feel like my heart is pouring itself out. I silently cry but sometimes I sob loudly to ease the pain which helps. I lean against the bath trying to breath, stop the tears but they keep coming. I didn't know I had this much to cry out.

I sniff, gaining a blocked nose but I don't care. The tears don't stop, I could sit here and cry all day and I still couldn't tell you what I'm crying about. "Darcy?" Sam's voice gently coos through the door. I try to stop crying but it's no use. "Yeah?" My voice is wobbly and brings more tears.

"Can I come in darling?" She sounds worried which brings another burst. I hum in response but she's already in the room, sitting next to me with her arm around my shoulder.

She doesn't say anything, she just pulls me into her shoulder where I continue to cry. A wave of anxiety hits me and panic sets in, I can't do this. I don't want to do this, I cry more.

I could just walk away, that's what I should do. Tummy ache takes over, an unsettling feeling playing around making me feel sick. Why do I feel like this? The thoughts and emotions are really intense and overwhelming. They flood in out of nowhere and take over.

The best possible solution is to end things, right? I don't want to feel like this, I could just walk away, simple, problem solved. But I don't want to do that, I don't wanna leave Issac because I love him, the crippling feeling comes back just at the thought of this whole situation.

I cry harder, why am I feeling like this? and just as that thought runs through my head, I'm being sick down the toilet. It retches out of me, I loose my breath for a minute but regain it. I get a tissue and with my quivering hand, I wipe my mouth.

"Just breath" Sam gently whispers, I'd forgotten she was there. I crawl back to my position and she wraps her arms around me. "Breath in, breath out" She continues with those instructions, I follow them slowly controlling my breaths.

I won't let my anxiety ruin me again, I refuse. It takes over my whole brain and makes me think and feel things that aren't true, I'm not leaving Issac. I'm going to be okay and I'm going to do this. I breath in and out some more until I'm feeling better.

"I'm sorry this is happening to you, petal" Sam stroke my hair, I snap into the realisation she's comforting me and instantly feel bad. I've been crying all over her and I've just been sick, she must think I'm crazy.

"I'm sorry you had to see that" I whisper, wiping my damp cheeks. I feel a little better after a cry. "Nonsense, I understand that this situation must be very scary for you" The feeling of her finger nails on my scalp soothes me.

"I love Issac, I can't stress that enough" Tears threaten again but I demand them away, "But sometimes things get a bit much and it all gets a bit overwhelming. My anxiety makes me feel like I want to run away but I know I don't, I'm just scared. I want to be here to help and support him through this" I attempt to slap my anxiety in the face with my words, it kinda works, it's more of a flick instead of a slap.

"But whose helping and supporting you?" I glance up at her, her eyes swimming in worry and concern. "Myself, I'm strong enough. I'm just still getting used to the situation and how to deal with it. Issac helped me through a difficult time and now I'm here to help him" I gulp, nervously but I remain with a strong mindset.

"What did my son ever do to deserve you" A smile glows on her and I feel myself shy away. "It's truly the other way around, I don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for Issac" I smile gratefully at the thought.

"Everything is going to be okay, I promise" She kisses my forehead, "Thank you for being amazing to my son" She blinks back her own tears. Her kind words have left me without words.

"C'mon, I'll make us a nice hot drink" Her smile warms through me, I nod and we get to our feet. Quickly checking myself in the mirror, me and Sam carry on downstairs. Issac's eyes are wide and worried when we walk back in. I see Ellie is gone.

"Everything okay?" He looks from me to his mother. "I'm going to start on tea, why don't you and Darcy take these upstairs?" Sam urges him with a stare, giving him the typical mom glare when you don't have a choice and will do what they say. I pick up a bag and follow him upstairs.

We leave the bags in the spare room I used to sleep in, I smile as I look around. We don't stop long, Issac stalks back to his room. "What's going on Darc?" He sits on his bed, I follow his actions and perch next to him. "Sometimes it gets too much" I breath, exhausted.

"I know it's a bit over-whelming" He sighs. "A bit?" I attempt a light hearted laugh but It doesn't work out.

"Ellie is eight mouths pregnant and It all seems to be happening. Her moving in here? That means you're going to be together all day, everyday" I gulp, imaging it churns my stomach. "Darc, do you think something is going to happen between me and Ellie?" His eyebrows shoot up.

"I'm just worried, you're going to be living together, with a baby" I slump my shoulders. Doesn't he see it? "Yeah, a screaming baby" He laughs but I'm not in the mood to share it.

"That's not the point, you're going to have to work as a team and that means you're naturally going to grow closer and having a baby in the mix is well, it has ways of fuelling feelings" I shrug, hoping he understands what I'm saying.

"I love you, not Ellie" He takes my hands. "I know we haven't been that close lately but that doesn't mean I don't love you" He stares down, stroking his thumb over the back of my hand. I nod, worried that If I reply I'll start crying again.

"Why don't we spend the night in the glass room?" He suggests after some silence, my mood brightens at the thought. "That would be nice" I smile, "Could we watch a movie?" I ask, hopeful.

"We can do whatever you like, princess" He grins, "Go put some comfy clothes on and meet me down there" He lifts up from the bed and like an excited little boy, exits the room. I smile, everything is going to be okay.

I shift through Issac's clothes, I have some many of my own clothes here I hardly have any at home. I pull out my favourite cotton grey tracksuit bottoms a plain white shirt of Issac's. I bring it to my nose and inhale the delicious scent of his.

I quickly change and throw my hair into a pony tail before making my way to the glass room. I beam at the cosy set up Issac has made, the bed looks fluffy and comfortable with all the blankets he's dressed it up with. The laptop lies on top, candles burn on the bedside table and other surfaces and fairy lights dangle and light up the room beautifully. "We can spend the night in here" He smiles from the corner, I run over and hug him. This is just what I needed, some alone time with the man I love.

"Thank you for this, it means a lot" I look up into his ocean eyes, grateful I have them all to myself. "I know I've put you in a difficult situation and I understand it's going to take some time to get used to and handle but I want to say thank you for doing that for me, I love you and I don't think I could do this without you" He kisses my forehead, I lean up and plant a kiss on his soft pink lips. He tastes divine.

He deepens the kiss, sucking me in straight away. My hands snake around his neck to his stack of hair, tugging it. I push my problems aside, I need to strong for Issac now, just like he was for me. I love him and this is something I've to do for him.

Our mouths move together perfectly, like they were made for each other. His tongue invades my mouth, filling me with hunger for more. His hands trail down my back setting me on fire, me and Issac haven't been like this for so long it takes me instantly, I want him, now.

I pull his face closer to mine so that our bodies are tightly pressed together. I feel him edge me towards the bed. "Issac, everyone will see us" I mumble against his lips, lost in the moment.

He breaks away leaving me cold, I frown but watch him as he bends down. What is he doing? I frown my eyebrows before being plunged into darkness, he's turned the lights off. "Now they won't" I can hear his smirk. The only bit of light is coming from the stars above.

I giggle and wrap my arms around him once more, before we both fall back onto the bed.

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this chapter involved more anxiety side of things because i've been suffering really bad recently with my anxiety and wanted to channel that into my writing.

if you ever need to talk you know i'm always here (:

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