hi! this is being uploaded from sunny spain, well it's not sunny at the moment. it's been a bit dull over here today. i'm on holiday but i fly home tomorrow.

hope you enjoy the chapter.

❥

Issac

It's been a whole two weeks since I've spoken to Darcy. A long, emotional, heart aching two weeks. I can't believe I've lost her.

I know mom is upset with me, furious in fact. She loved Darcy, I've lost track of how many times I've come home to see them baking together. She's also angry about the whole baby thing, everyone knows now that I'm the possible father. No one is surprised, except mom and dad.

These last two weeks have been a rollercoaster, I'm suffering the absence of Darcy and awaiting these results. Ellie's been a mess, she was strong at first but she cries every day now.

What about if this baby does suffer from any of those conditions? Even if this baby isn't mine, I'll still be pretty torn up.

Ellie has been so convinced I'm not the father that I don't think she was even going to tell me about this test, if it wasn't for Darcy I wouldn't know. I was the one who was trying to drill it into her head, begging her to tell Darcy, but no. I've lost the girl I love because of Ellie.

I shouldn't use her as an excuse, I lied straight to her face..but I was scared. This is huge, it's a baby. My whole life will be turned upside down, my plans for the future gone, out the window. Whose gonna fulfill Andrews dreams if I don't? I can't let him down.

My family are in pretty mixed emotions about it. I know everyone's upset about Darcy but I think the majority of disappointment is from me lying about the baby. The thing that upsets me the most is seeing pictures of her smiling with Adelaide, like she's not hurt one bit. But do I blame her?

Darcy is in a time now where she needs to look after herself, a toxic lying boyfriend isn't great for anyone's mental health. That doesn't mean it feels any better when I see her smile and my heart breaks all over again. I can't believe I've let it go this far.

We get the test results back today and to say I'm nervous is an understatement. I scrub my face hard in the shower. What do I do? I feel like crying, I feel so lost. First I need to stop this self pity bullshit and get myself together.

If this baby is mine I've to pull myself into the right mindset and I need to sort things out with Darcy, even if she doesn't take me back, I need her to know how sorry I am.

I clamber out the shower. Shirt, jeans and shoes. I ruffle my hair, trying to make it look presentable and I'm off. The roads are quiet, surprisingly, so I cruise my way to Ellie's and park outside. I look at her house anxiously. Please let my little girl be okay.

I'm getting rather attached to this baby, It's scary. I stalk up her drive, feeling sweat form on my forehead. The sun is out which is helping to fuel my positivity but I'm too nervous. "Come in" Ellie's - now quite big - belly greets me, she's nervous.

I step past her into the house, it's nice and cool. "I've to ring the doctors in 10 minutes" She breaths in and out, entering the living room. I follow.

I feel out of place here, like I don't belong. I look around, this house really isn't very big, the windows bring in light which I guess makes it look bigger then it is? theres a three seater sofa along one wall and two armchairs on the other, all of them pointed towards the telly, which is stood on a stand that looks like it's about the break.

I've only ever seen upstairs once. Ellie always comes to mine, mom wasn't best pleased to see Ellie like she normally is. There's only two bedrooms upstairs and one insanely small room filled with boxes that they haven't emptied. I think it's her mom's things but, I don't like to ask.

Where is the baby going to sleep? "Ellie, where is the baby sleeping?" I look over at her, I'm seated on an armchair, she's on the sofa. "My room, why?" She raises her eyebrows questionably.

"Is there enough space?" I'm guessing the filled boxes are her mom's things, maybe they can't bring themselves to sort them. "What are you trying to say?" a flicker of anger crosses her pale face.

"Well let's be honest El, this house isn't very big. I'm not trying to pass judgement because I know your dad struggles but I'm thinking about the baby, is there enough room for her?" I try to be careful with my words, Ellie's mood swings are very fast nowadays.

"We'll make room for her" She sounds unsure. I breath in, preparing myself for the reaction I'm about to get. "Maybe she should live with me?" I try my best quiet, relaxed tone which always calms Darcy done, I feel a pang of hurt thinking about her.

"What?" Ellie shouts, jumping to her feet. I gulp. "I have more room at my house, she'd have her own room" I look up at her, trying to hide how scared I am.

"You want to separate a baby from her mother?" Her voice rises. "Issac she might not even be yours!" She shouts. Another pang of hurt.

"Ellie don't give me that shit again! I know she might not be mine but do you see Nathan here? Even if he is the dad, would you want him to be? He doesn't care like I do" I stand also, her words make me so angry. Hearing she might not be mine hurts because out of me and Nathan, I'm the only one who seems to care.

"I'm sorry" Her voice wobbles. "I just- I don't know what to do" She flops back down on the sofa. "Truth be told, I want you to be the father but at the same time, I don't, for Darcy's sake" She looks desperately up at me, I sigh and sit down next to her. "I know" She wipes away a tear, I wrap my arm around her.

When the clock strikes on the hour Ellie rings, nervously she holds the phone to her ear. She's shaking like a leaf. "Hi, I'm ringing to find out the results from my Pataus Edwards, Down's test please" She keeps it together but I know she wants to cry. "Ellie Charlize Reese"

I press my ear to the back of her phone so I can hear, my arm remains wrapped around her. Her hand squeezes mine nervously. "Okay so, your little girl is perfectly fine and healthy and doesn't show any of the disabilities" I breath out relief, I don't bother listening after I hear those words. She's okay, my little girl is okay.

After the phone call Ellie cries and cries, sobbing into my shoulder. I comfort her but I wish someone would comfort me, Darcy always did that so perfectly, another sharp pang. She'd wrap me up in her arms, press me to her chest and stroke my hair, something that made me feel whole.

I know deep down she still cares for this baby, I should go see her.

After Ellie's cries die down I carefully remove my arm, she sits up and wipes her cheeks. "Thank you, for everything" Her puffy eyes look apologetically at me. "I know what I said earlier was wrong, I appreciate you being here" She smiles, or tries to but more tears come.

"It's okay, I wanted to know that she was okay" I nod, "Even if she's not mine, I'll still care" I drift from eye contact, thinking that she might not be mine hurts. "Darcy would be silly not to take you back" Ellie sniffles after some silence, I look up slightly taken back.

"I lied to her" I look away before I start crying. "Issac" She sits up, "You're a good boyfriend, I've seen how you are with her, how you look at her" She pleads, desperate for me to see her words. "This is a baby, a whole beautiful yet very scary baby" She holds her stomach, "She must understand how scared you were. I mean yes, lying is never the best but she must see why you did it. She loves you Issac and you love her, I'm not saying she'll forgive you but working through things is better then just leaving it" She frowns. I sit slightly shocked.

She's right, I do love her. Hell, I love her so much. They always say, fight for love, right? I think what hurts the most out of everything is her questioning my love, how can she think I don't love her? After everything that's happened, after all the times she pushed me away and I've come running back every time. Maybe not straight away but I still came back.

A flick of anger runs through my body but I shake it away, would I think the same in her shoes? "I've to go see her" I nod, determined to make things right.

"Go, now" She jumps up, "Will you be okay here?" I slowly get to my feet, I've never seen Ellie encouraging/helping mine and Darcy's relationship before.

"Yes, I'll be fine" She leads me to the door, I eye her suspiously. "What? I know it might sound weird but I like you and Darcy together, you're a good couple and you need each other. So go, now, win her back" She almost throws me out the door. I look back, a tickle of a laugh coming from my mouth.

I climb in my fresh scented car and wave as I pull away. I pep talk myself all the way there, mumbling encouraging words. I'm determined to sort this.

I park outside, I anxiously look at her house. Her mom's car is on the drive, I gulp. I know for sure that her mom is angry at me and probably her brother, her dad, Cindy...I bet even Adelaide wants to whack a Barbie doll off my head. I don't blame her.

Christ, I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself. I need to admit what I've done and do whatever I can to sort it. I lift myself up out the car, feeling confident.

My baby is fine all I need now is to sort things out with Darcy.

I look down at myself, black jeans, black shirt. I dressed to fit my mood. I fix my hair and walk up the drive. I breath for a couple minutes before knocking on the door. "Hell- what do you want?" My confidence is popped like a pin to a balloon.

Darcy's mom glares at me, if looks could kill. "I've come to see Darcy" I nod, trying to sound as confident as I just felt. "She doesn't want to see you" She purses her lips together.

"Please, I need to try sort this out. I love her" I crumble, I don't care how I sound. I have to get to her. "You've broken her heart" She snaps.

I look down in shame, "I know, I shouldn't of done it but I did and I can't go back, unfortunately, but I'm here to try fix things, I just need to talk to her. Please, I'll start begging if I have to" I plead. I think she takes sympathy on me, her eyes soften.

"I know how much you love her" She mumbles but her face hardens again. "You have ten minutes and if I hear so much as a sniffle of a cry I'll throw you out the door myself" She points. "Thank you" I'm so overjoyed I could kiss her, but obviously I don't, don't wanna add more to the list.

She opens the door for me to squeeze past and I almost knock her over when I run through. Itching to see her I fly up the stairs, I stop outside her door. Do I knock? Walk in? I decided to knock.

I hear nothing in response so I gently open the door and peek my head round, ready to dodge any flying objects coming my way. Thankfully nothing does, I see she's asleep.

I didn't think my heart could break anymore but when I see her it just shatters. She's pale, thin, red skin around her eyes and puffy cheeks. I've done this to her.

I kneel beside her and softly stroke her cheek with my index finger, unable to stop myself. She stirs, "Mom?" She gently mumbles, slowly opening her eyes.

They widen immediately when she sees me. "What are you doing in here?" Just like her mom she glares at me. I sit there in awh, even with her hair that looks like she hasn't moved out of bed for the past three days, she still looks absolutely beautiful. "Well?" She snaps.

I click myself back into reality. I stumble for words, I haven't thought this far ahead. "I-I'm sorry" I stutter, unable to force anymore out.

"Is that it?" She becomes angrier. "Darcy, please" I stand up from my kneeling position on the floor, I near her but she jumps off the bed. "Don't touch me" Her petite little body is shaking. If I can just hold her, maybe she'll listen.

"Please just listen" I beg. "Go on then, I'm listening" She folds her arms, I don't actually know how I'm going to get myself out of this.

"I know I've said it before but I really am, truly, sorry. I never meant to lie to you, I didn't want to, I didn't know what to do, I'm scared of this whole situation and I'm petrified the most of loosing you" My voice wobbles but I remain strong, she doesn't budge.

"I love you Darcy, so much. I never want you to question that again, a part of me wants this baby to go away because I can't stand the thought of loosing you over this, but a part of me has grown attached to this baby, or the idea of this baby. I want us to work through this" My eyes beg.

"We could of if you hadn't of lied to me!" She growls, this isn't working but I can't give up now. "How am I supposed to trust you?" Her voice goes quiet, her urge to cry shows on her face.

I walk around the bed to the side she's standing on, she eyes me warily as I sit down on the edge of the covered mattress. "I know, no matter how many times I beg and say sorry I know that won't work but I've to try Darc. I love you and I can't not try. If you want to end things I understand but I really don't want you to, I need you" I look up at her, exposing myself.

"I'm so scared, this baby is going to turn my whole life around and I don't know if I'm ready, I know I'm not ready, I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me. Am I going to be a good father? Will I be what she needs? Even if she's not mine I don't know what I'd do, maybe be relieved? I've grown attached to the idea of her" I whisper the last parts of my sentence, looking away from Darcy, ashamed.

I feel the bed dip where she sits next to me. "I know how scared you must be" She mumbles, playing with her fingers. "I never meant to hurt you Darc" I whisper.

"I know it wasn't intentional but It hurt, it hurts so bad Issac. You looked in the eye and lied to me, that weekend at Eric's cottage I knew there was something wrong and yet you still lied to me" She tries not to make her words angry.

"I've been such an arse, you don't deserve this" I throw my head in my hands, how can I try and make things better when I've done all this? How can I expect her to forgive me? I can't admit defeat.

"I didn't wanna loose you Darcy, I didn't go the best way about it but I didn't have much time. Once I found out you already knew and Ellie had already fed you loads of reasons as to why I wasn't the father, I didn't know what to say for the best so, I just went with it. I didn't have a plan, I just had to keep you, these past weeks have been hell without you. I'm not eating, sleeping, I didn't know I could cry as much as I have. I need you Darc, I just need you to understand how sorry I am" I take her hands into mine and plead into her eyes. I can't loose her, I can't.

I can feel my eyes water. I love her so much, looking at her right now, I couldn't even begin to ever describe why I lied to her. "I know" Is all she says before pulling me into her lap and it all explodes out of me, I cry into her.

She wraps her arms around me, and strokes my hair, cooing into my ear. I didn't know how much I needed this until now. Waves fall out of me to the point I think my body is drained.

I sit in my emotions for a minute, overwhelmed by all of them. I feel better. "Thank you" I sit up, meeting her eye. She smiles in response, have I gotten somewhere?

"I still don't know Issac, I want to be here to support and be here for you but a baby is a big thing. I can't even being to imagine how scary this is going to be for you" She frowns and I fear she's slipping through my fingers. "But, I love you Issac and that's not going to change" A glimmer of relief washes over me.

"What are you saying?" I look at her with hope. "I'm saying I want to be with you, baby or no baby. It's going to be hard and I'm still pretty hurt but I want to help you through this" She nods, sounding more confident with each word.

I immediately scoop her into my arms unable to stop myself. "Oh Darcy, I've missed you" I mumble into her shoulder, she wraps her arms around me. "I've missed you too" She mumbles, I can tell she's built a little wall around herself which saddens me, but I lied to her so what do I expect?

I squeeze my arms around her, inhaling her

heavily scent.

How could I have ever risked loosing Darcy? How could I have let things slip so bad?

I'm so happy she came back to me, in my moment of stupidity and weakness. I'm the luckiest man in the world to have her by my side and I won't ever risk loosing her again.

❥

okay, what did you think? are we glad the baby is okay? what do we think of Darcy's decision? let me know!

vote if you like!