It's my birthday in 16 days omfg :0

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"I just don't understand why you never told me" My voice is quiet, my whole body just feels so lost with this new information.

"I was going to, I just hated the fact that he left. It wasn't anyone's fault that he left, people fall out of love it happens, I never told you because I was scared" She looks ashamed, I'm not annoyed at her or angry, just confused.

"Scared of what?" My eyebrows knit together. We're sitting on my bed, her arm wrapped around my shoulder snuggling me into her, she smells like fresh cookies.

"Loosing you" She sighs, "It was very selfish of me, you were always much closer to your dad and I was jealous, they always say having a daughter is having a best friend for life. I thought maybe him out the picture would bring us closer so I didn't tell you because then you'd want to be with him and hate me for keeping you from going with him" Her eyes are looking down at our connected hands, "You just grew distant and quiet, didn't speak to anyone or go out anywhere, you used to be so full of joy and laughter and I feel like I haven't seen your smile since he left" A tear spills down her cheek.

"I don't hate you" I shrug, "I don't really know what I feel" I don't look at her, there's so much confusion in my head, I don't know what to do.

"I'm sorry" She kisses the side of my head, I show her a weak smile and wipe her tears away, "I never chose dad over you, I never had a favourite, he just seemed to know me unlike anybody else did, he was my best friend. Never think that I don't love you, because I do" I'm not good at confessing or admitting my feelings for people, but seeing her cry made me realise I need to tell more people how I feel.

After mom leaves my room I lye on my bed, it's getting dark outside.

My brain whizzes back to Issac, how could I leave him on the beach like that?

I don't know what to think when he pops into my head. He must hate me but I don't think I can face him, we were so good as friends. I don't regret telling him anything I did, I just wish it didn't get complicated like this.

"Darc?" A knock at the door, I sit up confused, "Can I come in?" The voice is female and familiar.

"Y-Yeah" I nod, even though the person can't see me, Amelia walks in showing herself. "Your brother let me in" She smiles.

"Oh, hey" I cross my legs on my bed showing her a smile, "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine, I've come to ask you that question, Issac told me" She sits down opposite me, I shrug.

"I thought we could go out, cheer you up" She smiles, I thought she'd be mad at me for what I did but she's the opposite for some reason.

"I don't know" I didn't plan on going out, I wanted to give myself time to think things over.

"C'mon, please? If you don't like it we can leave, but let me try at least cheer you up" Amelia pleads smiling. I give in and nod, "Okay"

We get ready, I wear a v-necked blue velvet dress and some heels. I hardly ever dress up, it's nice for a change, I feel pretty.

We head out, no body says anything when I leave. I don't care if they did anyways, no one was gonna stop me going, I was ready to go have fun with Amelia.

We end up at a house part of somebody Amelia knows, we move to the music on the dance floor attracting male attention but I don't want to dance with them, I dance with Amelia.

Her hands snake my body as I move my hips to the beat of the song loosing myself, closing my eyes the music pumps into my ears and I feel like I'm floating away into the music.

My thoughts are like floating clouds in my head but nothing seems to bother me right now, I feel free like I can do anything.

I begin to become relaxed, eyes closed, music, dancing with Amelia, I'm annoyed at Ezra for not telling me about his girlfriend, I want him to be happy but I just don't know why he didn't tell me. I'm annoyed at Joseph for making contact with dad but I can understand why if it was me, I'd feel jealous that dad wanted to take him and not me.

I'm annoyed at Issac for complicating our friendship when I need him most but I can't expect him to put his feelings on pause, the more I think about it the more I begin to panic again because I haven't really thought about it, when I came home I was thrown into another situation.

"I'm gonna get a drink, want one?" I open my eyes, talking into Amelia's ear so she can hear me.

"Yeah, sure" She takes my hand, walking me through the thong of people. I have no idea who they are, I don't even know whose party we're at.

"Whose party is this?" I ask once we reach the kitchen, "No idea but it looked good, so I decided to come here" Amelia gets me a drink and I down it in one, not looking at what it was.

The sharp taste burns at the back of my throat but I ignore it, we get a couple more drinks and walk upstairs.

"This house is huge" Amelia peeks into rooms, "I hear there's a pool" She looks over her shoulder, winking.

"We can't snoop at someone else's house" I giggle, "Yes we can" She signals for me to drink more, which I do.

She guides me round the house looking into rooms as I down my drink, we've brought a couple of red filled cups up with us so after I finish my second, she signals for me to drink the next one.

We stumble around the rooms looking in each one, we're giggly as we drink more and more, I'm aware this isn't a good idea but I'm past caring.

"There it is!" Amelia pushes the door open revealing a massive indoor swimming pool.

It looks like something out of a movie, we walk in. "It's so big" Amelia says giggling, "Lets get in" She puts her cup down and starts to undress.

I do the same, I pull my dress over my head leaving me in underwear before jumping into the deep end.

She joins me and we stand in the middle of the pool, "What are you thinking?" Her gentle voice echos through the room, she plucks one of my loose hairs and tucks it behind my ear.

"That I want to float" My voice is quiet but hearable. I feel her hand on my waist curving round to my back, she applies pressure and I guide my body onto its back.

She holds me as I float, the ceiling looks blurry, like it's moving. "The ceiling is moving" I point.

She lets go of me and floats on her back too. "Oh yeah, it is moving" We both giggle.

Amelia holds my hand so we don't float away from each other. Our hands naturally seems to fit together intertwined.

If this was Issac I would of been freaking out, I don't know why because I'm doing it perfectly fine with Amelia but I'm attracted to Issac.

I'm scared he'll break my heart.

If I allow myself to be with him he has the power to break me into a million pieces, why haven't I admitted this before? Has the magic of alcohol made me finally realise?

He makes me happy, makes me feel beautiful. I'm completely comfortable with him but I've pushed him away.

"Darcy?" Amelia is back on her feet, "Yeah?" I push my legs down so I can stand, our hands are warmly still connected. She pulls me towards her, sending ripples in the water.

"I think you're amazing" She smiles. My brain feels fuzzy, my vision is blurring but I can still make out the curve of her lips.

"I think you're amazing too" My words are coming out slurry, I point my finger into her chest giggling.

"I think you're beautiful as well" Her words are clearer then mine, much clearer. She sounds more serious.

"I think you're beautiful also" I laugh at my own words, giggling when I poke her again.

"I like you Darcy" Her eyes shine a bright green into mine, I smile placing my hand on her face mesmerised by them.

"I like you toooo" I drag out my words, uncontrollably giggling.

"No Darcy you don't understand, I like you" She places her hands on my face trying to get me to understand but her eyes are so bright, close to mine.

I smile, I pull her face closer to mine, smoothing the tip of my index finger over her eyelid, "I have feelings for you Darc" She opens her eyes after I move my finger away.

My brain doesn't process this information, I start to laugh but she looks serious, faintly smiling at me.

Her eyes are still distancing me, they're a popping green that I just want to capture by pulling her face closer and closer to mine.

We look at each other for what feels like forever, I smile. She wraps her hands around my body pulling me closer to her and I tangle my fingers in her long wavy hair.

I have no control over my actions, little giggles escape my mouth and she looks amused.

"Your eyes are pretttyyy" My words slur and I give her a toothy grin, feeling like my head is spinning and spinning.

"So are yours" She rests her forehead on mine, "No" I giggle, "Yours are" I try poke her eyelid gently but end up poking her lips.

I keep my finger there but replace it with my thumb dragging it slowly across her soft pink lips, she looks deep into my eyes.

My giggling becomes quieter getting more and more distracted loosing control of the situation.

I close my eyes trying to get myself focused and calm but instead, feel her lips on mine. I stand frozen for a minute but giggle and kiss her back.

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7am. Ugh.

My head is bounding. I roll out of bed, shrieking in pain when the sun hits my eyes. "So bright" I mumble sinking from my bed to my carpet crawling to the bathroom.

"You okay?" Ezra's in his suit ready for work, I grunt, I don't want to talk to him, "You gotta talk to me sometime" He shrugs as I enter the bathroom on my hands and knees.

I splash water on my face to try wake myself up but I just feel even worse, so I take some paracetamol.

When I'm dressed and ready for college wearing a pair of dungarees and a stripy red shirt, I go downstairs.

Mom passes me an apple, "I'm taking you to college" She smiles, I shrug with a nod. "Thank you"

I slap on my sunglasses when I get outside and plonk myself into the passenger chair sinking down.

"What time did you get in last night?" Mom puts on her fake polite voice, the voice that people do when they answer their phone but I know she's disappointed in me.

"I'm not sure" I don't want to think about last night, the only thing I'm thinking about is Issac and what I've done to him.

I have to say sorry to him, he didn't deserve what I did to him, I don't deserve him.

"I know you're probably confused by everything right now Darc but we're all here for you" She glances at me for a minute smiling then back to the road. I know she's trying and I appreciate it.

"Have a good day" She kisses the top of my head when she pulls up outside my dreaded college.

I smile and step out, the wind blows around me making me stalk quickly into college. I'm early so I sit down.

I must look a wreck because people's stare linger, I threw my hair up in a messy ponytail, put my sunglasses on, not bothering with makeup and left the house but I'm beyond caring.

I lye my head down on my bag for comfort and let my head become empty, I hadn't seen Yasmine or Ellie about, or Issac.

Just as I'm about to give up and go sit in class waiting for lesson to start I see his car roll into the car park, my brains fills back up with thoughts again but I try to stay calm.

He gets out and walks around the car to the passenger side, I frown my eyebrows confused but stay with my head lay on my bag and my sunglasses on so he doesn't notice me watching.

Maybe he's giving Amelia a lift, I watch as he opens the door but it's not Amelia, it's Ellie.

They don't live close to each other, so why has he given her a lift?

Amelia gets out the back so I was right on something, but she walks off down the car park to the ILC building.

Issac doesn't recognise me, doesn't even look in my direction to see me, I'm about to wave until I see his hand link with Ellie's, his other arm around her, Ellie's face lit up like a firework and I feel my chest tightening.

I stay low, not moving letting them walk out of my view but I hear the clomp of Ellie's heels, "Darcy?" She gently shakes my arm.

"Hey El" I lift my head up, Issac is standing at a distance watching, "Are you okay?" She frowns her eyebrows.

"Yeah, I went out last night so I feel horrible" I faintly smile, Issac looks surprised for a minute but looks away, covering it up.

"I've been there, do you want some paracetamol? I carry them in my bag" She sits next to me on a chair, "No I'm okay thanks, I've already taken some" I nod.

"Okay, well anyways guess what happened" She takes my hand excitedly, "What?" I smile at her beaming face.

"Me and Issac slept together"

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let me know what you think!! I quite enjoyed this chapter (:

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