This chapter will hopefully pull the story together a bit more.

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"W-What are you doing?" I stutter nervously, why has Issac tried to kiss me?

Why has he tried to kiss you?? Who would even want to kiss you?

I shake my head, "Darc, I can't hold it in any longer, just listen to me" He tries to reach for my hand but I snatch it away.

I always feel so comfortable with Issac, I let him undress me and cuddle me but when he tries to kiss me I freak out?

"Hold what in?" I think I know the answer, my body heats up and I start to panic.

"Darcy can't you see it? I can't hold in my feelings for you anymore. I tried to respect your decision to stay friends but it's to hard Darc" He looks sad, scared.

He's lying.

I shake my head, confused, "But" I stumble for words, "What about Ellie?"

"Ellie isn't you Darcy" He steps towards me taking my hand is his, "Darc, I can't explain my feelings towards you, I think I'm falling for you more and more everyday" He talks above a whisper.

Is he telling me he loves me?

I start to heat up, I feel like I'm trapped in a sauna and I can't get out, can't breath.

"Issac-" He cuts my sentence off, "From the first minute I saw you you were completely perfect to me and I hadn't even spoken to you"

"I didn't take you to all those places and do things with you because I wanted to make you feel the same way back I just wanted to see that smile" He strokes my cheek, "I know you feel the same way Darc, you're just scared" He frowns.

I frown my eyebrows growing annoyance quickly, "How do you know how I feel?" I pull my hands out of his, "Why does everyone think they know how I feel?" I walk out the ocean, cold and shivering I grab my bag.

"Darc! Don't leave" He comes after me, "No Issac, why couldn't you just stay my friend?, I need you as my friend Issac I don't want to do this alone" I find tears well up in my eyes as I shove things in my bag and tung it onto my shoulder.

"You're not alone, I'm still here!" He looks panicked, his eyes wide and his hands trying to keep me close to him but I step back.

"No you're not, you had to complicate things" Tears roll down my eyes, "I can't carry on like this when I know how you feel! It's not fair anymore for you Issac" I walk away but again, he stops in front of me.

I want to leave, the ocean waves aren't calming anymore, they're loud and angry smashing against the sand, "Darcy" He takes hold of me.

The waves grow louder and feel bigger even though I can't see them, "Just listen to me"

"Let go" I cry, I feel like the waves are chasing me, "I want to go" He tries to stop me from walking off and for the first time I feel trapped in his arms just like when Ezra tried to stop me from leaving.

I tug and fidget against him, "Darcy! Stop!" He shouts in my face and I'm stunned into silence, waves boom in my head, "I know you feel the same way, just allow yourself to feel it"

"Stop telling me how I feel!" My annoyance bounces back, tears streaming down my face, "I don't feel the same way now let go of me!" I throw pathetic punches at his chest.

His face crosses with hurt but he shakes it away, "You're just frustrated, you don't mean that" He breaths out calmly, but he's wrong I'm not frustrated I'm angry.

"Stop telling me what I do and don't mean! What I feel! I don't feel the same why about you Issac! I don't want you" The unknown force comes back and I shove Issac off me and run up the beach, I'm confused my words just came out, it's like they don't even run past my brain so I can think about what I'm saying they just come out.

I don't look back, I just run, like I had before but this time I'm running home.

Why do feelings have to spoil things?

Everything was okay up until now, everything is ruined. I have no one, Issac was the only one I felt comfortable with outside of Ezra and now I feel lost and confused.

I'm dripping wet running through streets, wind runs violently through my hair. I can't see what's in front of me because of all my tears blurring my vision.

You're pathetic.

It's so loud in my ear, I whip my head around but no one is there, just the sound of my shoes slamming against the road as I run.

"Go away!" I shout, into darkness, into the unknown air. I want to just rip my head open and throw my brain over a bridge. Why is this happening to me?

I run home slamming myself through the door and straight into the first pair of arms I see, Joseph's.

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"Are you okay?" He asks, I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room, we're the only ones in the house.

"Yes" I shrug, "No you're not, don't lie to me" He rolls his eyes.

"Well if I had said no you would of called me an attention seeker" I snap, he looks taken back but sits down leaving a gap between us.

"What's happened?" His words seem forced, "Issac, he tried to kiss me and confessed his feelings for me" I mumble embarrassed that I'm talking about boy problems to Joseph.

"Oh, him, I'm guessing you don't feel the same back?" He raises his eyebrows but I just shrug, I don't even know the answer to that myself.

"Why are you even friends with him anyways?" He rolls his eyes, yet again, leaning back on the sofa.

"Because he's nice, he cares and listens to my problems without calling me names" I snap, I take a sip from the glass of water to calm myself, he'd previously set it down for me.

"Darcy I've never called you names I've just said what's true" I don't look at him, I nervously twist the rings on my finger round.

"Even since dad left you've been like this, like you're the only one it effected if you think what you feel is bad you should try being me" He snarls leaning up again to look at me.

"He was my dad too! He left me too! I'm allowed to feel like this!" I shout turning to face him, tears coming back but I blink them harshly away.

"He didn't leave you! He wanted to take you with him" Joseph raises his voice, just like I had done.

"W-What?" Im stunned, he gets up pacing the room, "Oh don't play dumb, when he left, he didn't just up and leave without telling anyone, he spoke to us all while you were still sleeping. He wanted to take you with him but mom wouldn't let him, he wanted to take you Darcy, not me, not Ezra, you." His eyes look hurt, sad, but he covers it up.

Speechless. I'm numb.

All this time I thought he'd abandoned us, that he'd left us, left me, didn't want me when really, he wanted to take me with him.

Years of heartbreak and tears, why didn't anyone tell me the truth?

"All these years I couldn't bring myself to admit it, to face it even after watching it drive you crazy over the years, I still couldn't face it" He looks down ashamed.

I want to be mad, I want to hit him but I can't, this is worse for him then it is for me.

"We used to be close" My words are quiet, my fingers mess with the hem of shirt.

"Me and dad built a tree house for you once, you loved it, you thought it was your very own palace" He smiles sadly, "When you were scared of the monsters under your bed at night you used to come into me, we'd stay up all night playing games and watching movies, then eventually you fell asleep in my arms and it was such a precious moment but then you changed" He voices goes from soft to harsh.

"When dad left me and Ezra didn't get any attention or sympathy it was always poor little Darcy, because you were so young and didn't understand why people felt so sorry for you, Ezra got on with it, he was never that close to dad anyways he's always been closer to mom, but no one gave me a hug telling me it was gonna be okay, it was all for you" I watch him grow annoyed, his voice raising.

"Then I had to watch you change, you grew quieter and distant, feeling sorry for yourself, practically asking for attention. Ezra looked after you, holding you whilst you cried at night, you still do I hear you through the walls"

"I never asked for attention" I try not to get angry over this, "It was the last thing I wanted"

"Bullshit" He shakes his head laughing, "Ezra isn't going to be here forever to look after you, he's successful now, found himself a nice girl, a nice apartment-"

"W-What?" A 'nice girl'? Apartment?

"Didn't he tell you?" Joseph tilts his head to the side, smirking. "Poor little innocent clueless Darcy"

"Stop it" I tighten my fists, "Is little Darcy getting angry?, how cute" He laughs.

I get up to leave but he pulls me back, "Joseph, let go of me!" I snap.

"I haven't finished talking" He holds my wrist, he's not hurting me but I can tell his words will.

"Look Joseph" I sigh, "No one ever told me that dad wanted to take me with him, how was I supposed to know? I was young and I was confused because one day he was there and the next he'd left never to return, he was my best friend and I didn't know how to handle it, I thought he didn't want me, that he could move on to a better family, it was hard on all of us but at least you got to see him before he went" I start to cry.

"You didn't know?" He looks confused, "Know what?" I snap, wiping away tears.

"That dad wanted to take you with him" His face is unreadable, his hand warm on my wrist. I shake my head, "No, no one ever told me"

"What's going on?" Ezra enters the room, "Is Darcy okay?" He sounds worried.

"Not really, when is she ever?" Joseph sounds annoyed with him.

"Give her to me" Ezra approaches but Joseph pulls me towards him first, "Why didn't you tell her about Karen?"

"Why are you suddenly being nice to her?" Ezra sounds annoyed, I feel his hand on my wrist, my eyes are shut.

"I told her about dad, I thought you'd already told her but apparently you don't tell her anything, all this time I've been angry at her for something she didn't know" Joseph's voice is nasty and angry.

"Oh so did you also tell her that you know where he lives, and have made contact with him?" Ezra spits back and I instantly pull away.

He's spoken to dad? He knows where he lives?

"Darc-" I don't wait for him to finish the sentence, I run upstairs and lock my door.

Sliding down the door, crying. I don't know what to do, Ezra is moving out, he has a girlfriend he didn't tell me about, Joseph has made contact with dad, dad wanted to take me with him.

Why hasn't anyone told me this stuff? I thought I knew everything I thought they'd told me everything but instead I was the most clueless one.

I am distant from this family it feels like it's them and then me, I may live in the same house as them but I don't know them, they feel like strangers. I want to leave but where do I go? I have no one now.

"Honey?" Moms voice knocks through the door, "Open the door" Her voice is quiet and soft. I've never been close to mom, she's always been closer to the boys but maybe that's because I was always with dad.

I open the door and she walks in, fresh tears spilling down my cheeks when she hugs me. I normally feel safe when people give me hugs but just lately I've just felt nothing, people just feel sorry for me all the time, poor innocent Darcy.

"C'mon, I'll tell you everything"

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