《One Last Fight》Fear Will Learn To Fear Me
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"Twenty bucks says you can't scare him," Miles nudged me as we shared the same bowl of popcorn.
My eyes left the screen to stare at Kinnick. I never saw him get scared. It is impossible to frighten the devil, but I am the mistress, and they call me Lilith. My fingers curled around Miles's hand as I agreed to the deal.
The tattooed fighter on the bend of the sectional laid with his leg propped up. His hand was keeping his head afloat as he watched Michael Meyers killed yet another person. In my life, the only dream I had was to write a book. A how-to guide on scaring Kinnick will sell great when the people who have tried realize it is achievable.
Step one - waiting until he is completely distracted. If Kinnick is aware something is going to happen, then it won't work. I let five minutes pass, just as the movie began to pick up again. The suspense was building as the babysitter murderer stalked Laurie Strodes' home.
Step two - move away from anything that could cause any noise. It will draw attention toward yourself. I pushed the bowl into Miles's lap as I readied myself to launch at Kinnick. That was when I realized step three won't be the attack. It will be another lesson.
Step three - don't throw yourself at him. He will see you move, and it will ruin the surprise at hand. Therefore, you have to do something else. I guess step three is me trying to figure out what the heck I am going to do.
Then a light bulb went off.
I sucked in a deep breath, gasping as if I was choking on my last breath. My plan wasn't to scare Miles, but he jumped next to me and immediately started smacking my back. Every inch of Kinnick's body quivered as the fear started to move his body. He practically did the Harlem Shake as he shot off of the couch.
Miles continued to pat my back. Maybe he thought I was choking on popcorn, but I was choking on laughter. I never thought about how I would spend my last moments because during the times I was ready to go, it never crossed my mind. Yet here I am, fully aware that if I can't catch my breath from the suffocating laughter, I am going to perish in my seat.
Anyone would say happiness is an ideal emotion to feel before death. I am here to tell you I am laughing my butt off, and it is not only hurting my stomach but burning my chest. Kinnick is kneeling in front of me, telling me to breathe as if I haven't been doing it for twenty years.
Tears were streaming down my face. "I scared you stupid! Give me my money, Mimmy."
Kinnick shoved my legs, pushing away from me. "I thought you were choking, asshole."
Miles's mouth was wide open as he stared at me. By the way the corners of his mouth were lifting, I wasn't sure if he was more surprised or amused. It was as if he wasn't sure how he should react. He slid me twenty dollars.
"You are taking all of my money."
I snickered. "You made the bet."
"You were in on this?" Kinnick pointed at him as he fell back into his seat. "And why the fuck is his nickname similar to mine?"
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"Like Hello Kitty and her sister Mimmy?" My brow cocked upward. "Kiki and Mimmy."
"I never heard Hello Kitty get called Kiki."
"Oh," I instantly took offense to what he said. "You have heard of Hello Kitty, but you haven't heard of Tony Stank?"
"Uh-huh, don't change the subject," Kinnick started to shake his finger. "Find a new nickname."
"You are offended over a nickname?" Miles stifled his laughter.
The blue-eyed fighter narrowed in on me until I gave in. "Fine! Cry baby Carson. Miles's nickname can be - Tay Tay because of his last name."
Kinnick leaned back into his seat, satisfied with my answer. He was over-dramatic but cute. Miles was laughing beside me. No one saw the way his bottom lip puckered with jealousy. This side of Kinnick was rare. Some people would say it doesn't exist, but Kinnick could be himself around me.
"Do you need help cleaning up?" The hazel-eyed boy asked me as the credits ran down the screen.
"No," I shake my head. "You are a guest."
"Well, I am going to bed."
Kinnick stretched out over the couch. The shirt on his body slowly lifted on his stomach, revealing his toned abdomen, and tattoos. My legs clenched together as I watched his muscles tighten. The way he flexed was unintentional. He does this whenever he gets tired, but my reaction was always the same. I realized I would never get used to someone as hot as him.
"Do you have blankets?" Miles spoke, stealing me away from my trance.
My brows furrowed. "Yes, your bed will have blankets. That is a silly question."
"Oh," he ran his fingers through his hair. "I assumed I was sleeping on the couch."
I smiled at him. "Of course not. We have a guest room."
Kinnick stood up, rubbing his face. "I'll show you."
Before they went upstairs, I told Kinnick I was throwing laundry in before coming to bed. I didn't make it down the hallway. He pulled me back by my arm, spinning me to face him. His lips pressed against mine as he held me in place.
"What is your deal?" He pouted. "You always give me a kiss before bed."
"I'm not going to bed yet," I chuckled, pecking his lips.
"Can't I have a kiss just because?"
"Anytime you want," I promised.
"Then come upstairs because I want a lot."
"After laundry," I tightened my grip on the laundry basket hanging on my hip. "I am all yours."
"I should go before Miles thinks we are fucking," he pressed a kiss to my forehead.
My hand smacked his butt as he ran down the hallway. His laughter floated with him, leaving me alone in the hallway. I stepped into the laundry room, loving the smell of linen that lingered in the air. Doing laundry was my favorite. I loved the smell of laundry detergent and dryer sheets.
I pulled on the tab, allowing water to flow through my washer as I threw in Miles's clothes. Similar to Kinnick, I never had to worry much about color coordinating his laundry. They both wore all black. I poured a cup of detergent over his clothes, loving the bubbles as they floated around the waterfall flowing through the clothes.
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While I listened to the washer fill itself, I saw a book sitting on top of the shelving above my appliances. The same one I was reading a few weeks ago as I cleaned our clothes for the Vegas trip.
My problem was never finding the motivation to read the unread books on my shelves. The problem was I kept rereading the same ones. There was something I remembered every time I pulled the worn novels from my shelf. It gives us a sense of security to read the same books because we know what will happen. It saves us from anxiety.
I slid onto the washer as I read over the pages. I rested my head on the wall as I scanned over the words, I am no longer afraid of fear, and I will not let it rule me. Fear will learn to fear me. There were novels that I called my favorite, yet I would always find another that spoke to me. The Ignite Me book in my hand was full of post-it notes, marking my favorite passages.
The only tattoo I wanted was the word ignite on my neck, to match the one on Warner. In a way, he reminded me of Kinnick. Severely misunderstood. He acted according to his trauma. I loved characters more than anything until I met Kinnick, and I realized all of those men I dreamed of could never be good enough.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, bringing my attention away from the novel as I was slowly diving into it. "Hello?"
"Hey," Marcus spoke into the phone. "I know it is late, but I also knew you would be awake. What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Uh - nothing."
"Can you come down to the office? Ethan doesn't want to put you on the case."
"Why because he considers it a conflict of interest?"
His laughter came through the phone. "You know him so well. Just try not to get suspended."
"I won't," I roll my eyes. "That is why you are going to be there."
"He loves suspending you."
"Yeah," I snort. "He does. What time do you want me there?"
"Early? Is that okay? Like nine or something."
"Perfect," I pulled the phone away from my ear to check the time. "I'll see you tomorrow, Marcus."
"See you then, Bo."
The two o'clock time stamp turned to two-oh-two as the washer stopped. I should have been sleeping. After starting therapy, I thought I was getting back into a normal sleep schedule. That didn't stop me from sitting on top of the washer, reading the book on my lap. I made Miles a promise. Sleep could wait, even if I had to get up early.
"You okay?" My head snapped up to a groggy Kinnick standing in the corridor.
His voice always made me shiver. "Of course. I'm doing Miles's laundry."
"You know you have tomorrow, right?"
I closed the book over my finger. "Marcus needs me at the office tomorrow."
"What time?"
"Around nine."
"Then come to bed," he yawned.
My hand lifted the book I was holding to show him. "I am reading."
"Bo," he came toward me. "You have read that book fifty times."
"How do you know that?"
He sucked in a deep breath. "I looked at all of your books to see which ones were your favorite."
"Why?"
"So, I could get to know you a little better," he tried to pull the book from my hand. "It is bedtime, come on."
"I can't leave his clothes in here," I stuck my legs out to keep my distance.
He grabbed my ankles, yanking me toward him. "We are going to bed. "
"Kinnick!" I yelped as he threw me over his shoulder.
"You said you were coming to bed," he held onto me tightly. "That was hours ago. It's time to sleep."
"I would have come willingly."
His hand tapped my butt. "You walk too slow, bookworm."
The only thing Kinnick loved more than me was falling asleep next to me. He loved holding me, but most importantly, he loved being held. In the year that I dated Luke, we slept on opposite sides of the bed. There was no contact or excitement when we slid into the sheets together. He never kissed me goodnight or said a single word. It didn't hurt as much as it made me realize it would never get better than Kinnick.
Falling asleep next to Kinnick was an adrenaline rush. It was getting strapped into a roller coaster for the first time, and you feel the nerves surging through your body as it starts to climb that very steep hill. Watching him hold the blankets up to his chin as his body refused to sit still while he watched me get dressed was the cart dropping. Every ounce of excitement explodes, and it's just an emotion you can't get the grip of because you don't quite understand.
Laying down next to the person that is not only your lover but your best friend is a feeling I can't put a description on. It is either love or a question - the question of, 'is this person real?' I thought I would be heartbroken if I ever lost Chrissy. She was the person I considered to be with me until the end. Then I met Kinnick, and I realized he was the only person I ever needed.
He tossed me onto the bed before pointing in my direction. "Stay there."
"Where are you going?" I hugged my knees.
"I'm going to switch the laundry."
"I can do it," I frowned.
He waved me off. "Get your rest, baby."
Falling asleep wasn't possible until he was sliding into the spot next to me. My fingers anxiously twiddled over one another as I waited to hear his footsteps. Instead of listening to him, I pushed away from the mattress.
I could hear the stairs creaking as he jogged up them. Then he came around the corner, and my breathing faltered. Seeing him shirtless with a pair of gray sweatpants hanging low on his hips made my heart act up like a kid in a grocery store.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
I shrugged. "Because I can't close my eyes unless you are there."
"You know even when I am not next to you, I will always be with you?" He came toward me, wrapping me in his arms as his finger poked against the place my heart thumped. "Right here."
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