《Mindfulness》CHAPTER 8
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"I'll stay here forever if it's necessary, it's hot outside, can I come in?" said Bradley to me.
"Yes, of course." We entered and I close the door. We sat on the sofa and I started to look at him, right in his eyes, we stayed in this way for almost 30 minutes. In the silence, we were only looking at each other eyes.
Bradley's POV
She was looking at me, she was really looking at me and she didn't say anything. We looked at each other and we stayed in this way for hours. Suddenly she said:
"Bradley, I'm confused, I would like to say you something but I just don't know, I'm a disaster, I know."
"Shut up Stefani, just enjoy this magical moment," I said and I put my hands around her. We fell asleep and the next morning, when I opened my eyes she was still in my arms. She is so pure and perfect, I can't handle it. I have to go, I know that I've ruined her life. I have a daughter and what about Irina? She trusts me but I love one another woman. I decided to wake me up and left Stefani alone but when I tried to stand me up Stefani said:
"Where are you going, Bradley?"
"I have made a mistake. Stefani, I love you but I ruined your life and maybe I ruined my family. I know, things between me and Irina are over for a while but now there's a little girl between us. I don't know if it's the right thing to ruin everything."
"I'm not the right person to talk with about love and all of this stuff. I only know that you have to follow your heart. That's the right thing to do, just because things are difficult, doesn't mean that you don't have to fight for them. But what happens when your heart doesn't talk with you? What happens when you don't know what is right and what not? What happens when you don't know what to fight?"
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"That's a big problem. You have to call Christian and I have to go home to Irina. Lea is waiting for me and Christian is surely waiting for your call. Now I'll go home and I promise you that tomorrow, on the set we will be only colleagues."
"See you tomorrow Bradley." I took my clothes and I went home. During the road, I thought about the night with Stefani. It's better to sleep hugging Stefani than making love with Irina. When I arrived home and I opened the door, Irina started to scream:
"Where have you passed the night?"
"It's not your business!"
"No, stop it, you have a daughter!"
"I have a daughter but from this moment, I don't have a fiancè anymore."
"What? Are you leaving me? What about our daughter?"
"One week with me, and one week with you. That's okay."
"That's okay but you've just left me, there's another woman?"
"I don't know, but things between me and you are over for a while."
"Right, I was just scared to tell it."
"Irina, I think that you have to pack your luggage and go."
"I've just packed everything."
"You know it?"
"Yes, I know it, and I bet, that's Lady Gaga, I'm right?"
"How do you know it?"
"You are far away from me since you started the shooting of the film. But what have you found exactly in her?"
"We shouldn't talk about it."
"Okay, I take my things and I leave."
Irina left my home and Lea too. I remained alone.
When Bradley left, I phoned Christian and he said:
"Stefani, sorry but I don't have time for you."
"You must have time for me, it's a big trouble but we can fix the things if you want."
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"Stefani, you broke my heart, how can I fix it?"
"I know, I'm a stupid asshole but I love you."
"If you loved me, you would never cheated on me."
"I know Christian, it was a mistake and I'm so scared to lose you."
"You have just lost me."
"But you're talking with me."
"I'm talking to you because I love you, and after I left you, for every second I hoped that it was just a nightmare and I convinced myself that it was. But when I hear your voice, I understand that it's real and for a second, you've forgotten me."
"I've never forgotten you. Christian, can you forgot it? Can we just continue with our relationship?"
"It's impossible, but the only thing I can ask you, it's time."
"I'll give you the time you need. Now I go, I have to go to Natali."
"I love you, Stefani, remember it."
"I love you too."
I hung up on him and I had breakfast with some pancakes. When I finished, I had a shower and I dress up. Then I took my car and I went to my family's house. When I arrived, I greeted my mom and Natali. My father was at work, and my mum was going to go to help him. Then, when we were alone, we started to talk.
"Stef, what's going on with Christian?"
"He discovered everything, now he's in Germany and he needs time. I don't know what to do but, I love Chris."
"You love him but you continue with Bradley?"
"Between me and Bradley it's different, I cannot describe it. It's something magical but we're just friends."
"Are you just friends?"
"Yes, why not?"
"No, you're not just friends. Stef you've found your soulmate!"
"No Natali, it's Christian."
"It's not Christian. If it was Christian, you wouldn't cheat on him."
"Natali, please, I love Christian."
"I know, but you love Bradley more."
"I just want Christian back."
"He'll return, I bet. But you'll break his heart again."
"No, Natali, why are you saying it?"
"I know you, more than anyone else in the world. I know that you love Bradley but you're scared to hurt Christian. You've already hurt him, but you'll hurt him again if you don't start to recount yourself the truth."
"Natali, I love you but that's the truth. I'll never hurt Christian again."
"I can believe it, I believe in you."
"Thank you, Nat, I love you more than anyone else."
"I love you too honey but you have to tell yourself the truth."
We had lunch together and we laughed a lot. In the afternoon I returned home and Bradley sent me a message:
"Between me and Irina, it's over. What about you and Christian?"
"He wants time," I answered.
"Tomorrow at 8.00 a.m, I'll pick you up, okay?" He wrote.
"Bradley, what do you think about coming here in my swimming pool?"
"I'm coming." He said.
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