The second I saw Lannan's Ute pull into my driveway, I could feel the guilt harboring inside my chest. Yes, Jacob had texted me first, but I made the choice to text back. I just couldn't tell Lannan that I was talking to my ex again. Especially when he threw open his car door and bounded towards me, lifting me up in a hug.

"Hey, beautiful. How did you sleep?" Doing my best to give an award-winning smile, I mumbled a soft yes. "You feeling all right?" I nodded as he helped me into the car. The first couple minutes of our ride was silent. Not like the comfortable silence we always sit in when Lan isn't babbling on about something Elliot did. Or how Kath pranked Bazz again. This was different. It made me want to get out of the car, but I knew it was my fault. I hadn't necessarily done anything wrong, but with us running into Ilsa the night before, I assumed it was fair game.

Nothing had happened. And it was just a couple text. But I knew how Lannan would feel, and I just couldn't do that to him. As the car care to a stop at a red light, he placed his hand on my thigh.

"Is it because of Ilsa? Because I would never do that to you-"

"No. Lannan, you've done nothing wrong." He nodded and within a couple minutes, we were at the famous Click house. I was sure that if I could just talk to Kath about what had happened with Jacob, I could put this behind me without ever needing to tell Lannan. The second we were through the doors, Lannan went off to find Elliot. Which wasn't hard considering his screams filled the house. Kath was sitting on the couch next to Marcus when I found her.

"Hey, Kath. Can I talk to you for a minute?" She glanced at Marcus and gave him a look before he nodded and left the room. Not forgetting to give me a smile and small nudge before doing so.

"Sit down on Kath's thinking couch and tell me everything." I could feel her eyes on me as I sat down.

"I texted Jacob last night." I glanced up at her and she nodded for me to continue. "He texted me first, and nothing happened, but I have this guilt because I couldn't tell Lannan."

"Why are you scared to tell Lannan?" I shrugged before falling back against the couch. "My take is that you're scared to lose him. So instead of telling him," she paused poking me in the side. "You're just gonna let it bubble up until it does cause a real problem. Lannan loves you Sam. He might be concerned at first if you tell him, but he won't be mad." She reaches out and grabbed my arm pulling me into a hug.

"What is it with everyone and hugging?" She giggled and grabbed the tv remote, turning on a movie.

"Shut up and watch a movie with me while the boys film." We sat there for what seemed like ages while the boys filmed next week's video for Click. Kath and I were glued to the tv when the front door opened. I looked away from the tv for just a second to see Ilsa going towards the room the boys were in. Kath nudged me with her foot and shook her head. I had learned quickly that this was her way of defusing a situation before it began. In simpler terms, it was her way of saying "don't even bother".

The movie was just about over when I felt someone wrap their arms around my neck. I tilted my head backwards and I saw Lannan. He smiled and gave me a quick upside down kiss.

"Scoot over." I did as he said and watched as he hurled himself over the back of the couch. With the video being done, we came to the conclusion of watching a few movies as a group then heading out for dinner. Everyone was fully engulfed in the movie when I nudged Lannan's shoulder with my chin. He raised an eyebrow as he looked down at me.

"Can I tell you something?" He nodded. "Jacob texted me last night. And I texted him back. Nothing happened but I felt horrible not telling you." I could see a smile creep onto his face as he leaned down and pecked the tip of my nose.

"I'm not worried about it, babe. Watch the movie with me." I nodded and sunk deeper into his side. Lannan truly was perfect. He never had me guessing where I stood.

Lannan was the type of man you could take home to your family and the next day they were planning a wedding. He always knew what to say or what to do. He was too good to me. The four months that I had been with him meant more than any amount of years could with anyone else. I was completely head over heels, and I think Lan knew that too. Sometimes it scared me with how taken I was of him. Because no matter how great things were going, I couldn't help but think how deep I would fall into the whole that is darkness when it ended.

It was an awful thing to think about, and I knew that as much as the next person. But with how many loved ones I had seen leave at this point, it always lurked in the darkest corners of my mind. Even if I felt I was, I was never at peace. What would I do if this were to end? I could feel Lannan's chest slowly rising and falling as this battle went about in my mind. As I looked up at him I noticed he was fast asleep. His arm still wrapped tightly around my shoulders.

Without thinking I nuzzled my head into his neck and drifted off into a somewhat peaceful slumber. Where these awful thoughts didn't exist and Lan and I were perfect.