Flashback

♧

The aroma scent hovered about the room, and the general gasp of thrill came from Betty when the food was already served.

"Now what's this, Lena?" Betty was enraptured by the sharp smell of wonder.

"I made blueberry pie. Want some?" Lena offered her when she placed the utensils on the table.

"Why would I not take it?" returned Betty in an act of comical dismay.

When she leaned over to take a mouthful of the blueberry, her eyes grew wide while her whole body jolted in stun.

"Gosh, this is so yummy, Lena!" Betty swallowed after she tried it for the first time. "It'll much be better if you put whip cream on it."

"But do you like it though?" Lena asked.

"Yes, I love it. I swear I feel like I want to eat all of it!" cried Betty in ecstasy.

"Don't be silly, my dad is going to eat it later after he comes back from work." Lena put on a blank face and hastily drew back the pie from the table.

"Oh shucks," pouted Betty like a pup. "Can I just have one more, please?" She pleaded in a pathos look.

"Alright." Lena yielded as she gave her the other piece. "You can leave the plates here. I will wash the dishes," said Lena. "You don't need to worry."

"I won't let you do that since that's my job." Betty replied while she chewed a piece of the delicious pie.

"You are a babysitter, not a housekeeper," protested Lena solemnly.

"Gee, what difference does it make, anyway? I am the one who is eating here, not you. So perhaps in my case I have a responsibility to take. In order to do that, I have to show some manners in this house and that's why I have to clean the dishes, so shoo and get off of my work will you." Betty licked her spoon after that.

Feeling that there was no choice to bicker on with Betty, Lena rolled her eyes and hurried away to the kitchen to grab some cups.

The minute they were still together, Lena saw a note on the refrigerator. The handwriting was definitely familiar, and she knew it was her father who wrote it.

The look on her face said it all once she had read the whole entire thing. Mutely, she sank on her chair with a heaved sigh of emotion she had bottled in.

For the first time, Betty witnessed the look that marked on her.

"Is everything alright?" inquired Betty a bit slowly, when she caught the familiar reaction of her friend.

"It's my dad. He's going to come home late again." was all Lena said in a dejected tone.

"Come on now. I am certain he'll come back soon." Betty consoled her.

"Trust me. The usual time he comes home late is in the middle of the night. I know I'm lucky I have a father like him, Betty. But sometimes he forgets about us, as if he has no family to take care of."

It was true. Naturally, she had expected something like this would happen again. It was almost a routine, and she had to wait for so many hours for her father to come back home from work. The night suddenly turned bleak for Lena.

For Betty was already gone, and little Serena slightly curled her wee body under the blanket of Lena's bed while she was asleep. Lena was up all night studying in her room where her lamp drooped over to prevent the brightness around.

After Lena had buried herself in her studies for quite some time, her eyes fell before the dim moonlight that glowed broadly in the deep black sky. She opened her window to take a closer look at the white beauty in a veil. Not a sound of disturbance below her when she sat nearby the open-window.

The only sound all she heard was the breezy wind and the hoot of an owl behind the shadows. Her thoughts whizzed away like the wind snapped through in a time when her mother was still there. With her. The voices that she was familiar with, and the day when they both had an argument together.

"You can't see the sunlight in your room, Lena." Mrs. Foster said when she drew the floral curtains aside to welcome the sunny view. "Go out a bit, won't you? Believe me, you look like you've never seen life before." Mrs. Foster cried in a puzzled look when she saw her daughter curled up in the corner of her room.

The face was inscrutable. It was too hard to read, for even her own mother didn't understand what she was going through during that time. She didn't know the gloomy numb feeling, the hours of stress when she had a hard time falling asleep in the middle of the night, and the desolate place she hated so much. That place she dreaded ever so long. It didn't even bring any bit of gladness except the unbearable pain of her internal existence. It was sick to the core, and never in her life did she want to have anything to do with it.

Her drowning soul was trapped in a cage, and there was no way of escaping from the world she hated so long. She knew her thoughts kept messing up in the back of her mind, reminding her the idea. But it was such a horrid notion to even mention it. Inevitably, she knew it was the only choice that would work. Lots and lots of thoughts and possibilities replayed in her clueless mind if death suddenly came in front of her door and took her away for good. But little did she know, death wasn't the only choice to end the pain of her sorrow.

"I appreciate it if you go, mom," snapped fourteen-year-old Lena through her clenched icy teeth.

She couldn't handle her patience when her mother was still standing there.

"Get out, mom!" She demanded. "Just get out," reiterated the girl with teary eyes. She had never used that tone to her mother before and as her mother reached over to comfort her, she pulled away in a disgusted face. But her mother stayed, transfixed by this scene. "Oh God, mom. Did you not hear what I just said?"

"Yes, I hear you. What happened to you?" This time her mother asked gently. She was concerned by this and she knew something must've gone terrible.

"Nothing happened, mom. I am good." without a speck of joy.

"You don't look like it—"

"Do I have to look like I am good all the time?" She barked impatiently.

"I know you are not doing well, but whatever it is, don't use that tone of yours when you are talking to me," Mrs. Foster reprimanded. "Now, what is it, Lena? You seem hurt—Did anyone—"

She forcefully put a cynical laugh. "No one did anything, mom. Please, don't make this such a big deal as if you understood everything about my life." She interrupted, waving her hand lamely.

"I'm your mother, you are not supposed to keep this a secret from me." Her mother was hurt. Taken aback by her words, still, sympathy got the better of her. If anything happened to her daughter, she would always be there by her side.

Slowly but surely, Lena had the urge to fight her tears, but it was no use so she said in a hoarse voice, "I'm useless, mom. I have nothing to offer and nothing to do in this world. I'll never get in anywhere so there is no use for me. I have lost my dear friends because I didn't like half of the things they like.I haven't even changed. Now they all hate me and because of that, I hate myself even more. There are so many things I have to tell you, but they are just bundled in a mess," Lena scratched her hair in frustration. "I can't even express it in words, mom. It's all spoiled." and her head fell on her knees hopelessly.

"Don't be sad, my dearest Lena," Mrs. Foster sighed.

"Why not? I have a right to be sad, mom. After being told by a boy who confesses his love to me and then not even a year ahead, he doesn't even bother to look at me anymore. My friends who'd left me because of whatever excuse they have. They told me it's better off if I'm not part of their group. I just don't understand. Either I am the stupidest girl on this planet for making friends with them or I'm oblivious of what goes on around me. Now I lost both of my friends and the guy I like."

Mrs. Foster came closer and sighed. "You know, when I was your age, it was hard for me to relate with my friends because they have parents who raised them and I didn't. I was also a simple girl without following fashion or trend. I was the odd one among them, and now seeing you like this reminds me of it. You are still young and I know there are so many things you can do in this world. The most important thing is your intention. If you are dealing with problems in your life, the best way you can do to yourself when you are in this state is to help people and give goodness." Mrs. Foster stretched her arms to pull her daughter for a hug.

"Whatever form it might be, you will feel a whole lot better because you are telling yourself that you are grateful for what you have. If you want to do good, then go for it my lovely girl. Don't give up. If any of your fellow friends don't support you for the sole purpose of a good cause, then keep going for what you stand up for. You'll find others you can make good friends with. These people you'll meet someday, the ones who will stand up along your side-they are what you call true friends. Find that gift and don't wait for it. I know you'll find it for as long as you believe in yourself. Because whatever goodness you bring to this world, you will eventually find yourself in a position where many would struggle to fight for—and that is true happiness."

And with that, those words remained in her head ever since.

"I will always remind myself, mom. Now that you are gone, Serena can never see you. If only you were here, you would have done so much more than I did. But I'll try my best. For the sake of Serena and because of the duty you gave to me." her voice followed the wind in the cold air.

Her green eyes sparkled, and her dampened hair was blown in the chilly air. Nature listened to her soliloquy, where the twigs danced, and the leaves flew like rhythms of an orchestra.

The memories saved her from her sleepless night of monotony and it turned the situation into a lovely night. The advice she recalled from her wise mother would always stay as long as she could remember. Never shall it be forgotten.