Her Priority

♧

As she stood there to pull the gate open, Lena lifted her head for a while and caught a glimpse of Betty's figure beyond the opened blue curtains. She watched Betty through the pale window, pacing to and fro and biting her bare nails in the bedroom upstairs. For a babysitter, she was a bit childish for Lena, but as she began to realize Betty was gifted with a pure heart, she knew she could never be as strong as her.

Her parents who have left her when she was just a child, and left Betty bear it all alone until she was taken care of by her aunt. There was a pang of sympathy that struck Lena since she was aware that Betty needed the job. But it still did not change Lena's feelings whenever she leaves the house, because she could not help it and it made her feel as if she was abandoning her responsibility as the eldest sister.

When she came in and closed the door behind, she could hear the harsh wail of her little sister from the foyer.

Lena groaned and flew upstairs at once.

"I got this." She stormed in the room and picked her little sister out of the crib. "Hush now, my little one. Hush," Lena rocked her and cooed in Serena's ears. "Lena is here, I got you."

"I-I gave her the milk but she-she cried after that." Betty faltered helplessly.

Because of this blunder, Lena shot a pointed glare that could turn Betty into a meek kitten. She did not need any apology since her face explained all of it without even a word. "Betty-how many times do I have to tell you if you have a problem in the house just call my dad. It's your job." Lena calmly reproached her. She placed a kiss on her little sister's forehead and put her back in the crib. "This is not the first time, Betty. Every time when I am out, it's the same problem."

"I actually wanted to call your father before. But it wouldn't be appropriate at a time like this," She paused. "Trust me, It won't happen again," Betty promised as she turned to look up at the clock. "I better go now, time's up for me."

"You want to go now? I haven't cooked dinner for you yet-" Lena said, half worried.

"No, worries! I've got an aunt who will serve it for me!" She burst her voice where it almost bounced out the roof.

"Oh!" Lena raised her arch brows in amazement. "What is she going to cook?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure it'll be better than yours." Betty teased. "I'm kidding. Really, you are a good cook. At least you've got a father that can accompany you and you'll have a nice heart to heart talk."

"I don't think we've ever had a talk like that."

"Fine then, a grave heart to heart talk." Betty simpered and in a few minutes later, it was time for her to go.

As she reached the front gate, she stopped short, looked up at Lena behind the open-window and blew a sweet kiss from her velvety lips. "See you tomorrow, Lena!" Betty waved her arms and skipped daintily on the road until the animated girl was gone.

Throughout the evening, Lena was left alone with her little sister in the house. The sun drowned and the moon crept up when the night arrived. She turned on the lights, and slipped downstairs to cook for supper in the kitchen. There were rows of bottled sauce, shiny utensils and rainbows of canned foods from the pantry. There was frozen chicken and potatoes left in the fridge and it was enough to fill empty stomachs for the evening. That would do for her.

An hour later, the door swung open and Mr. Foster quietly entered inside. He looked older than his age and dropped himself in the chair once Lena served the meals on the table. He absently grabbed a spoonful of chicken and mashed potatoes from his plate. His round dumpling face, his heavy sunken bags underneath those bloodshot eyes seemed weary just by the stony look. He was staring blankly at the wall across him, where his body was there, but his mind was floating elsewhere. Lena pictured him like a turtle waiting for the waves to wash over him.

He snapped back into reality again.

"How's school by the way?" Mr. Foster began to inquire.

Turning off the tap water, she later threw off the white dishcloth on the side of the counter and turned around, "It was strange," she answered. "I wonder if I can handle it there."

"Of course, you can. This is an opportunity for you to act like the rest of the kids."

"I know, dad but-you know-" with a droopy head and anxious mouth.

"You know what? Speak your mind, young lady."

"I-it's not really from my mind, dad," Lena stammered, a note of achingness filled in her voice. "It's mostly coming from my heart." She cleared her throat, tightly clasped her hands before her father and gulped. "You see, if I finish school, I think it's better if I focus on taking care of Serena."

"You'll regret it."

"I won't, I promise." She answered in a determined tone with pleading eyes.

"This is your life you're talking about." He paused and wiped his mouth with a handkerchief from his pocket. "Serena has a babysitter. You don't really have to worry about it."

As if she'll look after her for the rest of her life.

"What do you actually want to do later in your life, Lena?"

She feared this question would come up eventually. The question played in her mind for some time. Her realization kicked in when the picture of Serena in her life was more important than anything else. Lena did not care if her life was going to be a mess. It was hard for her to let go and move on, since she would prefer it if Serena was under her care than to bother getting a scholarship.

But Lena only shrugged her shoulders, secretly hid those feelings and her longing for the risky road she wanted to go. She wanted to be a music teacher or at least be involved in the field of music. But she pretended not to admit it and would rather persevere to fill her mother's position. "I don't know, I'll try to figure it out."

"Hmph." He grunted, munching his food and scrutinizing his daughter. "Do you have a problem with the babysitter?"

"Betty? No-o. I just think she is a little inexperienced and a bit problematic sometimes." Lena replied slowly, struggling to use the right words.

"I don't see any problem. She hasn't stolen anything or harmed any of you."

"Of course, not, dad. Although you don't have to hire a babysitter, I can stay here like I used to and take care of-" and without a chance to complete her sentence, Mr. Foster abruptly interrupted with a wave of his hand since he knew where this was going.

"No, if you don't want to take this opportunity, then what is the point of me working if one of my daughters is limiting herself."

"I'm not, dad."

"You certainly are. I am not going to let you throw your life just to take care of the house all day. Your mother wouldn't want this house to be a burden to you, Lena."

Immediately, she thought back in a time when her mother had given her a duty as she lay dying in her deathbed. Her heart sank when she remembered those words from her mother. But of course, how could her father understand? He was unaware that his daughter made a promise in the past, and he wouldn't be able to understand unless he knew the truth.

"Argh, fine. It's not like I'm throwing my life away for a boy." She murmured under her breath, grabbed the kettle on the table and was slightly nettled at her father's firm tone. She nearly poured all the boiled water in the mug.

"Pardon?"

She blinked and found herself in a situation when she had notice she just said it aloud. "Oh, nothing." and pretended that the conversation never happened.

"Aren't you going to eat? You cooked this meal, it's delicious." He was obliged and the meal almost reminded him of his wife's cooking.

"I'm going upstairs and I'll probably take a shower first. I'll eat later, dad." Lena did need to shower when she knew her hair was damp from the rain this morning. But the truth was, Lena couldn't eat after what he had told her. She left the room and silently stepped upstairs with a flush of gloom. He only wanted what's best for Lena even if it did upset her.

After a few minutes, Lena came into her little sister's room and took a glimpse over the crib. Surprisingly, Lena caught the soundless little form tucked warmly in the crib and an adorable snore escaped from the infant's innocent lips.

While little Serena was fast asleep, Lena leaned over and said in a faint whisper, "Goodnight." She kissed the darling baby where the feeling of blues faded suddenly just when she kissed those blessed cheeks. With the last stroke of the cheek, she turned to leave, shut the door and headed to the bathroom.