《Mindful Secrets》Chapter 18 - He Said What?
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He stood there, necklace dangling in front of him. He wasn't even looking at me as his body was faced to the right. I stood there, quietly thinking to myself. Have I met him before? I don't really remember?
I mean, I did meet another Dakota before but he wasn't the same one. I don't really know what he wanted to say exactly. I looked at him again to see him fiddling around with his necklace. The silence might actually be killing me.
The more we don't talk, the more my mind wonders what he wants to say. I debated with myself to either speak up or just stay silent. It was a hard battle. On one hand, I just want to know what he has to say. On the other, I was afraid he might get angry and I don't want to die a third time today.
He suddenly hums a tune while a small smile displayed on his face. Still, he was playing around with the necklace. Okay, the suspense is too much right now. I close my eyes and took a deep breath before exhaling. I opened my eyes and leveled them with Dakota.
"What do you want to confess?", I asked nervously. I hope I didn't stutter or anything. His humming stops as he looks at me with a smile that somehow scares me a lot. I've seen him smile every once in awhile but this smile does not make me feel comfortable.
"Jazz, don't be scared. I won't hurt you", he says. I'm trying to believe but the more I think, the more scared I get. All of a sudden, he let's out a sound I don't think I've ever heard come out from him. He was laughing. It wasn't some type of cynical type laughter.
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It sounded almost childish, as if this was some sort of game. As quick as it came, the laughter died down. "I'm sorry if you think I'm mocking you or anything. It's just funny to see your face when you tense up. It's rather cute looking but at the same time, I don't ever want to see you scared of me", he says.
Another smile came across his face. This time, it was an apologetic smile. "Yeah, I don't think I should stretch this out any longer. I really do have something that I want to confess to you, Jazz", he says. It's the moment of truth. Why do I feel so scared to hear what he has to say?
"Before you ever came here, I wasn't the most social student, as you would know. But when you came, that world changed entirely. Before, I would just sit at my desk and completely drowned out the sounds of the environment. But when you arrive, half of my thoughts were about you", he starts.
"Getting to know you, I found that we do have a lot of similarities. We don't care what others say about us, we are usually very quiet on our own and most importantly, we're both fighting our own battles", he continued. At that moment, he stopped talking.
His right hand moved up towards his face. He points a finger at his eye which made me rather anxious. What is he doing? Suddenly, he slowly places his finger on his eye and removes what looked to be a contact lens. He faces me yet again, his eyes blinking rapidly.
When he opens it, I was shocked to see that he had a blue coloured eye instead of a green coloured eye. He does the same to his other eye but it wasn't the same as the other one. It looked rather cloudy and grey but I could see a hint of another colour in there.
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I think the colour is...amber? He has heterochromia too? Wait, what?! "I got it because of a car crash. I can still see but it's rather blurry", he says. A car crash? Oh my god, that's just terrible. I look into his eyes again too just see them again. I don't know why he even hid it. They still look beautiful.
"I didn't like how my eyes looked so I got some contact lenses. But, that's not the point. I actually want to give you this", he says. Suddenly, he wraps the necklace aroundy neck. Wait, why is he giving me his necklace? I thought he was searching for it the entire day?
"It looks nice on you but I have one last surprise. I don't know how you'll react but I hope you will accept it", he says. Accept it? He fiddles around with the necklace a bit before opening it to reveal a piece of paper. He hands it to me. "Read it", he says.
I take the piece of paper from his hands and started unfolding it. I don't know what he wrote considering there was only do little space he could write on. But, I guess he could fit what he wanted to say. For the words on the note were,
I look at him to see him fidgeting around nervously. I look back at the note and then I look back at him. This isn't a joke, right? I don't want to be embarrassed like last time. What should I even say? Should I say yes or no? I read the note again. , greeted me everytime I look down.
Everytime I look up, Dakota looked even more nervous. Rubbing the back of his neck, rubbing his hands and sometimes, his mouth opens and close but no words come out of his mouth. I've never seen him this nervous before. Then again, I've never seen him show any other emotion besides boredom, anger and content.
He was rather cute in those moments. It felt like I was seeing a new side of him. His even softer side. The side where he can show me and tell me what he's feeling as the moment. And in that moment, I already knew my answer. "Dakota, I...", I start. God, I felt so nervous.
He quickly looked at me. Visibly nervous on what my answer was. I felt like such a jerk for leaving him hanging. So, I decided to finish what I had started. I cleared my throat as I began to speak yet again.
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