Zayn's fingers were in Harry's hair tugging gently, they were cuddled up in bed. Zayn had his eyes closed, reflecting on last month's events. The skiing holiday in France turned out better than he could have imagined. The cold temperatures meant they were indoors most of the times and being that close to each other brought the boys back together. They talked a lot especially at night, around the fireplace enjoying the fire crackling in the background. Those conversations lead to heartfelt apologies and brotherhood bonds reignited. Life too short to hold on to grudges,you never know what's around the corner. Finding beauty in the mundane was their new mantra.

Zayn's birthday has been and gone and Liam got his pool party, he didn't care about weather. Zayn couldn't wait to tell Harry about his birthday present. A baby. Their baby.

"What got you smiling, baby?"

"Our holiday, it was nice wasn't?"

"Yeah,.I'm glad you did enjoy it in the end even though you couldn't even say 'bonjour' after a week being there"

"I didn't learn anything in France..cause I wasn't there for that duh"

"We should book another one though. How about our honeymoon, where do you wanna go?"

"Anywhere sunny..like Caribbean islands, think sun..babe..sun"

"Mmm..sun, sea and sex it is then.."

"I'm all for sun and sea..I think we should abstain from sex till we're married. Agreed?"

"No comment...whatever you decide I'm not part of it, thank you very much. I'm not about to go to my wedding with blue balls..so, we'll agree to disagree"

"So much about no comment,..I was holding my breath for you...Harreh!! for fucksake." Zayn moved Harry's hand from his crotch as he squeezed his balls.

"That's a taste of what my balls will feel like...so there.."

"Its our Yazz first birthday tomorrow..." Zayn said a few minutes,

"And mine..." Harry said,

"I know..shush. Are you happy, Haz? With me and the baby? Do you still wanna get married?"

"Of course, baby. Why are you asking me that question? Have you...you haven't changed your mind, have you?" Harry said pulling Zayn on top of him, arms around his hips.

"No of course not, babe. I just wanna make sure this is still what you want. If you wanna wait, I won't be mad..." Zayn said pushing Harry's curls back.

"Baby, I want this. I love you and we are getting married in two months, but I'm ready to marry you right now.. make you Mr Styles, don't try me baby. I will officiate my own wedding..." Harry kissed his neck, biting him playfully,

"You can't do that..you can't officiate your own wedding" Zayn was giggling as Harry kissed his neck.

"I can do this though...show everyone you're mine.." Harry said kissing Zayn, flipped them over. He kissed and licked his neck, sucking bruises leaving marks all over his chest blending them in with Zayn's tattoos. He went down leaving a trail of butterfly kisses along Zayn's happy trail. He stopped for a moment looking at Zayn's c-section scar, he kissed it gently and Zayn gasped when Harry kissed his stomach. Harry went further down taking Zayn in his mouth and gave him the best blowjob Zayn has ever the pleasure of receiving, his toes curled as he cummed so hard.

"We don't need no piece of paper from the city hall, baby. You will always be mine" Harry said kissing him softly,

*

Zayn was smiling as he walked down the aisle with Yaser and Trisha on both arms. It was his wedding day and he was surrounded by family and friends. Zayn wore a white Armani suit with white shirt, white tie and black shoes. Harry said he looked gorgeous in white and he even dyed his hair blonde. Harry was wearing a floral Gucci suit with black boots, it looked hideous from a distance like grandma's curtains, but Harry looked gorgeous, his hair was up to his shoulders. Harry was nervous, standing next to the minister, he kept combing his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. He smiled watching Zayn walking down the aisle to him. Even from a distance Zayn could make out the words 'i love you' Harry mouthed to him. Liam, Louis, Jake and Ed were his groomsmen Niall and two of Harry's cousins were Harry's. Zayn breathed in deeply holding his tears seeing Liam and Niall wipe a tear.Their daughter Yasmeen, was a beautiful bridesmaid wearing a pink princess dress with a tiara, her hair in French plaits and white beautiful shoes. Safaa was wearing a similar dress, holding Yazzie's hand helping her walk down the aisle. They are getting married in a restored barn and it was decorated with red roses. So red.

Zayn woke up gasping not sure what woke him up, he was having such a lovely dream. Harry was snoring softly next to him, mouth open. He looked at the alarm clock, it was three in the morning. Pain shot through his stomach first and then nausea hit him, he was going to be sick. He tried standing but the pain was coming in waves, too much, it was so hard to breathe. He was huffing out air as if in labour. He grabbed Harry's arm and squeezed hard.

"Harreh.." his voice was barely a whisper. He was going to be sick all over the bed, he thought as another wave of nausea hit him. Deep breath.. "oh God.." he was disgusted he just swallowed his own vomit, just a little bit..

"Harreh.." he said digging his nails in Harry's arm.

Harry woke up, disorientated for a minute and Zayn didn't have a minute, he needed to move to the bathroom, now. Harry looked at him, eyes barely open,

"Zee..'right?"

Zayn shook his head, kinda wished he didn't he was dizzy. His eyes were blurry either from tears or the sharp pain in his stomach.Harry sat up alarmed when he saw him crying and switched the bedside lamp on.

"Zee..what's wrong, baby?"

"Bathroom..." he whispered.

Harry walked over to Zayn's side of the bed and lifted him up bridal style and stopped. Zayn's underwear was wet, surely Zayn couldn't be that desperate and wet himself, he looked at the bed. He was going to be sick...blood. Zayn's head was resting on his chest when he heard him take a sharp breath then went limp and heavy on his arm.

"Zayn?!" Zayn had collapsed on his arms, head rolling back.

"Zayn!!" Harry panicked as he put him back on the bed, Zayn was still breathing. He called 999.

*

Harry hated hospitals. He hated them even more at five in the morning with a sleeping baby in his arms. Zayn was lying on the hospital bed asleep in fetal position, his arms around his body, as if hugging himself. Harry was sitting in a chair close to the bed, their hands clasped together, he was holding on so tightly afraid of letting go. Zayn looked peaceful in his sleep, pouting, Harry wiped a tear on his face. A miscarriage. Zayn has had a miscarriage. Harry didn't even know Zayn was pregnant. Zayn cried, Harry crying with him. He watched as Zayn's lashes fluttered open, he tightened his grip, Zayn looked at him, his eyes just...empty.

"Zee.."

"I wanna go home.."

"Later baby..Nick said you can go home later, okay"

"K." Zayn said reaching out to baby Yazz gently stroking her cheeks. "happy birthday Yasmeen.." he whispered playing with her tiny fingers, Harry layed the baby next to him, kissing his forehead. "Haz.."

"I need to make a call, baby..need a drink?" Zayn shook his head, snuggling baby Yazz closer to his chest.

Harry made the call to his mom, then Trisha and the boys. The birthday celebrations were cancelled.

*

Zayn was home. It was bittersweet. Rest, take it easy, Nick told him. Harry's heart was breaking watching Zayn cry, the baby was his birthday surprise. Trisha and Anne were already in the house, taking care of the baby. Louis, Niall and Liam had stayed in the hospital till Zayn was discharged. Harry was grateful for them and thankful they were not asking questions. The mood in the room was sombre though. Zayn was quiet and clingy, and they lay cuddled together in bed.

"I'm sorry.." Zayn kept saying sorry to Harry, he blamed himself for losing their baby.

"It's not your fault, baby, dont apologize, okay. Don't"

"I've ruined our baby's birthday...and yours, I'm sorry Haz.."

"Zayn..listen to me. It is not your fault. I'm sorry you feel that way...You heard Nick, there's nothing you could have done to stop this...nothing. Nature can be cruel sometimes...but it is what it is. Yasmeen is still a baby, she won't remember not having a party. You didn't ruin anything..."

"You will..."

"Stop Zayn, okay...birthdays come once a year and wherever I am, whatever the circumstances, if you are there with me on my birthday that's all I want... you can never ruin anything as long as you're with me.." "Okay.."

"Okay.."

"I love you"

"I love you too, Haz"

Zayn rolled on top of him, lying in between Harry's legs. He looked at Harry, kissed him cupping his face with both hands, "Marry me, Harry"

"Huh?.." Harry frowned

"Marry me today..I want to get married today..in this house. Our house.."

"Are you sure you don't wanna wait till tomorrow, when you feel a bit better?."

"No..life is too short, who knows what would happen...."

"You mean what would happen if you have to sign your name and it's not Zayn Styles.. Shocking, I know.." Harry smiled as Zayn smiled at him, he only ever want to see him smiling.

"Marry me.." Zayn said again, his smile genuine this time, eyes shining.

"Okay, let's get married.."