I stayed there on the floor crying.

I felt weak.

I didn't know what to do, or what to tell him.

Red looked so broken.

I don't know where Adrian went but I want him back.

Red seemed scared of himself.

Even his eyes changed. His eyes looked so sunken so dark as if he just witnessed someone killing his entire family.

His eyes change completely he had that look of insanity behind his eyes.

He looked at me with such sorrow that I felt horrible.

He just blinked and turned around walking away.

I stayed there as he walked away thinking to myself it's for the best he needs to be alone.

He seemed to not want to talk to anyone at the moment.

I sighed and put my underwear and my shorts on.

I sat down on the bed.

I have to get Adrian back.

I can't do the ritual with Red the moon goddess will not accept it.

I love Adrian even though Red is apart of him i still love Adrian more.

I didn't want them to go insane that's the last thing I would want.

I sighed and got on the bed and tried to sleep.

I was really tired and I have nothing to do so why not pass the time with sleep.

What's going on?

One minute I was doing ok and then the next minute my entire lower body was fading.

Something is not ok.

It as if Red is losing both of us.

I feel numb and I can barely even think straight.

My thoughts are coming in screaming.

I try calling out for Red he didn't respond.

I wonder if Lily is Ok, but I'm I ok?

I miss lily..

I want to hold her and tell how how much she means to me.

Even though she did in a way rejected me I know she doesn't mean to harm me but Red thinks she completely rejected him.

Red was the one that came out destroying my old room.

My wolf is the one that comes out every time when I'm mad and people never noticed.

He is the best and the worst of me.

"Red I know you can hear me!" I yell pounding the invisible head wall that is stopping me from switching back.

...

Nothing.

He is not responding to me and I could tell he is thinking really hard and even my view to the outside world is gone he blocked away everything from me.

I can't even see his true form anymore.

All I see is a dark shadow filling up his entire mind which is his affecting his afterlife/paradise he stays in when I'm controlling my own body.

"Shut up will you I can't think with you pounding my thoughts."

Why is he so mad?

What happened?

Is lily ok?

"What happened I was fading a minute ago is lily ok?" I say in a panic.

"You were fading?.. oh."

What?

Why does he sound like that?

"Hurry up Red I know you are keeping something from me!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

"Stop yelling." Red growls clearly annoyed.

What's the matter with him?

"Red I want to go back to controlling my own body."

"Of course you do so you can have Lily." Red sneers.

"What are you talking about? Lily may be my mate but she's yours too!" I yell trying to get words through his head.

"Yea right.. I don't have a mate she's human which means I don't have one."

I knew it would affect him.

I know he loves lily.

If he could he would get rid of me but he knows that would hurt lily and himself.

I just hope Red can understand that lily loves him but not in the way he wants.

"You know i can hear your thoughts right now right." Red whispered knowing that I am correct.

"Yea..lily may not have her own wolf but she cares for you."

I hear a sigh and then I feel him go back to the human world.

He didn't block his thought from me and now I can hear all of it and see what he's doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know that I can't act like this.

It'll drive me insane and Adrian it would most likely kill both of us.

I walked back to the bedroom where I see lily sleeping I walked up to her and woke her up by hugging her.

I smile guilty "I'm sorry for causing you trouble I hope you don't hate me."

She then rubbed her eyes"why would I hate you? I would never hate you Red I promise."

Adrian is so lucky to have her and in some way I'm lucky too so I should just be happy with that.

"Want Adrian back lily I'm sorry I just wanted to be with you but now I know I can't do that, and I should be happy with what I have."

"Really Adrian can come back to me right now?" Lily said with a big smile on her face.

I nodded knowing this is what I should do they have enough problems anyways.

"Before I leave can I have a hug?"I asked hoping to hear a yes.

"Of course Red!" She happily hugged me."

"Thanks I hope I can talk to you again."I look at her and smile.

Then I let Adrian take control I and once I'm back to my "home"I smiled I missed this place.

Now I have to focus on being an alpha I behaved as a pup and I am ashamed.