When I wake up, I can tell it's not the same day. I turn my head, slowly, feeling the agony of my battered body course through my nerves. My wolf is out cold. Not unusual, but at first I can't even tell if the fucker is breathing.

"Shit," I croak blearily. The sun shining through the window is bright. It's morning. I missed my date with Ili.

"Fuck me," I hiss. I try to move, the motion grabbing the attention of the nurse.

"Please hold still, Beta," she exclaims as she moves closer to me.

"What day is it?" I ask her blearily. How long was I out? Fuck, I was worked over by an alpha trained to know how to put another wolf on his knees. Conner could have laid me up for two weeks without me knowing.

Her eyes soften in sympathy I don't deserve as she checks my vitals. "Monday," she says softly.

"Fuck!" I fall backward onto the bed, ignoring the nurse's frantic questions about what hurts. My rotting soul hurts, lady.

"He's fine, Jess. Could you give us a minute?" Conner strides into the room. He gives the nurse a smile, but shit it doesn't reach his eyes. She hurries out, and the frozen green gaze turns to me. I meet the gaze of my alpha steadily, knowing that he hates me.

"Sean," Conner says my name as if it's a curse.

There's a long pause until I reply with, "Alpha." That is who he is to me. He's not the best friend that I grew up with anymore. I've kept too many secrets, broken too many codes.

"I am trying to think calmly," he says slowly. "I haven't told anyone except Bailey."

Another pause, another piece of my lies fall away. I adore Bailey, I do. It's strange how my wolf reacts to his human luna. When I allow him to have his consciousness that is. He doesn't treat her like he does Mom. The insanity, the urge to lock the female away, hide her from the world, isn't there with Bailey. There was a time that I thought maybe he was getting better, then we visited home and I saw Mom and... he's just as fucking crazy as he always was.

"She wanted to go check on Iliana right away," Conner continues. He watches me sharply, sees the flinch when he says my mate's name.

"Tell me you told Ili that I was here." Here being the infirmary. At least he brought me here instead of leaving me in the woods. It definitely sped up my healing, but right now I can't feel grateful. I missed my first date and if Ili thinks I stood her up... Fuck.

"Ah, no," Conner snaps out of his strong, calm poise for a second with blatant sarcasm. "Why would I mention your pathetic ass to her?"

I close my eyes, feeling defeated. "Because I was taking her out to dinner."

Conner is quiet for a minute. "No, Sean. You will leave that female alone."

I open my eyes (or eye, 'cause the left one won't really open) to glare at him. "You thought I was letting her reject me?" I ask him hotly.

"You fucked her bitch of a sister," Conner says bluntly. He folds his arms across his chest. "A rankwhore. I had to explain that shit to Bailey. Understand? I had to tell my beautiful mate what a fucking rankwhore is and do you know what she said to me?"

I wait, watching fur thicken and rise from the back of Conner's forearms and hands. "She told me," he rasped out, "to think about what would happen if she were so drunk she couldn't consent to sex, and some male took advantage of her?"

"You would kill him," I point out, with a small snarl myself at the thought of someone hurting Bailey, or any female, like that.

Then it sinks in. I can feel something rip free of my chest. My wolf finally raises his head to stare at his alpha. Georgina sucked Conner's dick when he was too drunk to protest. Conner's low, rumbling growl fills the room. "Bailey thinks Georgina," he spits out the rankwhore's name, "raped me."

Bailey thinks. Because we males can't go there, can we? I turn over as much as I can so that the vomit hits the tile floor instead of the sheets.

"My mate held me when I raged. I fucked my precious, sweet honeygirl in anger. She's carrying our pup. I could have hurt them both," Conner growls. Insanity flashes in his eyes.

"You hurt Bailey?" I ask him raspily.

Conner's chest heaves, up and down. "You are no longer my Beta. I'll announce it in a few months when I have a replacement. Stay the fuck away from me, Sean. And don't even glance in Bailey's direction."

He leaves the room and I lie back, eyes closed as tears leak out of the corners. I hear the nurse come in and radio for a cleanup.

Agony blazes in my body but I don't make a sound. The nurse must add painkillers to my i.v. but it doesn't knock out my wolf. I don't know much about drugs used in the clinic, but I can tell that this is something different than the cocktail I dose my beast with.

The drugs I use to control him so he won't hurt my mom. The drugs that I get from Georgina.

---

When I hear the sound of his souped-up truck pulling into the driveway I scoff outloud. My fingers clench on my phone. I keep staring blindly at it while I try to keep from thinking about Sean and the fact that he stood me up for our 'date.'

He stood me up. Jackass. Everything was made worse because I was so angry and hurt when he never showed. Then I was angrier because I was hurt over my never-mate.

I walked home from visiting Bailey two hours after he was supposed to come to get me with tears burning in the back of my throat. To top it all off, Georgina never came home that night. Maybe they weren't together, but maybe they were.

Three days have gone by. I try to concentrate on Braxton. He's coming home and I want to do something nice for him, but it's hard to concentrate on anything. So far all I have is a panda bear stuffy holding a sign that says 'Congratulations! High fives!' to match the octopus holding eight boxes of Nemo-themed bandaids I sent up north to him last week.

Bailey and Conner have been spending more time together so I haven't seen her in a while. She even missed class the last two days and I honestly didn't think that Bailey would miss class. Ever. For any reason. She texted me that everything is fine, but then where was she?

Georgina has been moving. To the packhouse. To be closer to Sean.

Life sucks sometimes.

The doorbell rings and I grit my teeth. "Asshole," I seethe outloud. I sniff and pretend to play some new game on my phone. Let Sean's precious girlfriend answer the door. They can be together. I swore off males. Don't judge me, panda.

I hear mom walking into the hall. She sounds surprised and asks him if he is here for Georgina. I can hear my sister coming downstairs with a spring in her step. I truly hate her. My breath catches when a thought occurs to me. What do I do if they start kissing each other in the front hallway? Oh, goddess, I don't think I can take it.

I hear Georgina gasp in surprised horror and am on my feet a second later. It's convenient, being on the first floor. It only takes me a few seconds to walk to the front door. A few seconds of hell imagining Georgina in his embrace. I turn the corner and find them feet apart. My feet still falter, I was not expecting what I do see.

He is beat the hell up.

"Umm, Beta," I greet him warily as he stares at me and limps into my house past Georgina. She is remarkably silent.

"Ili," his voice is hoarse. He comes close to me, close enough that I can feel the warmth of his body heat.

"Were you attacked?" I ask him sharply. Usually Alpha would tell us, but maybe word hasn't spread yet?

"Our Alphason punished me," he murmurs low enough that his voice can't possibly carry to Georgina. My she-wolf whimpers in sympathy. We can both catch the scent of blood and wounds on our never-mate.

What? Oh. Oh, shit. "Why-" I know as soon as I speak. "He knows?" I breathe. I can feel stupid tears pricking my eyelids. If Alphason knows, then I'm screwed. If Conner Grim knows, then Bailey knows. It's only a matter of time before my lie is exposed to the pack. The League and their council frown on lies about mates.

"What happened?" Georgina cuts in with a voice filled with concern. I feel my wolf bristle at her.

"Nothing," Sean snaps at her. I am even taken aback by his tone. As far as I knew he and Georgina were still friends at least, if not lovers.

Before Georgina could say anything, mom interrupts us all. "Come inside, Beta. I should have dinner ready in a moment. Georgina, come help me in the kitchen."

I wait for her to stomp away before looking at Sean. "Does Alpha Alex know?" I ask in a whisper.

"Nah," Sean croaks. "It'll be OK, Daisy. Let's go out to eat and I'll tell you more."

"Are you crazy?" I hiss at him. "You can't go out like this! You look like Brad Pitt kicked your ass in FightClub."

Sean scoffs. "Dude's old as fuck, Ili. I could take him down no problem," he jokes weakly.

"Right," I deadpan, "you completely missed the point, but you're right, Brad Pitt is old."

He smirks at me, a painful-looking smirk that only quirks up one side of his swollen face.

"He really got you good, huh?" I murmur, wincing for him as his smile pulls on healing wounds.

"I deserve it," he says intensely. "I'm sorry about missing our date, Ili. I was unconscious."

Holy crap. I look down, then turn to walk towards the kitchen where my mom is. I need to get away before I do something stupid, like throw myself in his arms. I can hear his steps behind me. His tread is heavier than usual, and I hear a slight limp.

"This is stupid, Beta. There is no reason for this to be happening. Everything's done." Before he can answer me I enter the kitchen find my dad, "Beta Sean is here for dinner, did mom tell you?"

"Sean," Dad greets normally until he sees his messed-up face.

Before he can rattle off any questions I blurt out, "really hard training, Dad. Don't ask."

"All right, well, wash up," Mom says with doubt clear in her voice.

As I walk out to the hallway bathroom Sean is still only steps behind me. "I need to talk to you about something," Sean grunts at me when he follows me into the tiny half-bath. "We were supposed to go out, babydaisy."

I scowl at him. "Can you not lurk right behind me? And, it's technically your fault we can't leave. Mom already cooked for everyone tonight."

"Fine, I need to talk to them too," Sean says, reaching past me to run warm water over his hands. Hands that are, I see, perfectly untouched. I wince at the idea of Sean not even trying to fight back as Alphason Conner beats the crap out of him.

Then his words register. "What?!" I hiss, moving closer. "You can't tell them!" Is he crazy? Just because Alphason Conner and probably Bailey know about us doesn't mean that my parents need to know.

He stares at me blankly before shutting off the water and grabbing a hand towel to dry his hands.

"You are moving into the packhouse."

My mouth drops open. I feel my breath seize. How did I not see this coming? Most post-shifted wolves move into the packhouse, but it's a choice, not a requirement. Our packhouse, unlike smaller packs, is a rambling structure that resembles dorms or an apartment building. Some families have several hundred square feet of space while single wolves may only have a small room. It is a way to live communally with your pack, but none of my close friends have made the move yet.

"N-no," I whisper harshly. Tears of pure frustration prick my eyes.

"Ili," Sean begins gently.

"No, Beta!" I whisper-shout, mindful of my family just down the hallway.

"Damnit, Lili!" His fist pounds on the counter. I flinch away, as startled by the violent sound as the soapdish and mom's knickknacks rattle as I am the use of my hated nickname. He takes a deep breath, settling down. "Ili. I'm sorry, Daisy, but you are going to live with my parents-"

"Why?" I interrupt him, bewildered. What is bringing this on? I sure as hell don't want to live in his family's private quarters.

"You are starving," he replies bluntly. I scowl. I am not starving, but before I can defend myself Sean continues, "your self-imposed training schedule, all the swimming, you think I don't know about it? It's all brutal. You should be intaking five hundred more calories a day and that's just if you are maintaining, but you are building muscle mass and the last year and a half made you so skinny that you should be eating twice that."

"The nutritionist is ridiculous. I eat food from school with the trainer's recommended diet," I murmur. I eat all the foods the trainers recommend. They put out a list at least twice a year. Lots of iron and protein, healthy fats, nothing with too much sugar.

Once again Sean reads my mind. "Is that what you do, Ili? The chefs prep healthy meals for regular wolves, babygirl. It was very clear you need to gain weight. The trainer's diet is not meant for gaining weight."

I scowl and cross my arms over my chest. "So, I'll follow a new diet. Will that make you happy?"

"You will follow a new diet," Sean agrees calmly, "and you will live with my parents in the packhouse." I suck in a harsh breath. "Yes, Ili," he interrupts my protest, "this is non-negotiable. My dad will train you and my mom will feed you."

I still. His dad will train me? I always liked Nate Green. He's a good guy, one of Dad's friends, and a tough-as-nails trainer. Best of all, if I train with Sean's dad and swim with Owen and the group, then Georgina will never know that I am training as hard as I am. I'll be safe until my strength builds up and it's not like Sean still lives with his parents.

"OK," I tell him abruptly.

"This is- what?" he shakes his head in confusion. "You agree?" Suspicious darkens his face. "No running off, babydaisy."

"Stop calling me that," I snap. "I said, 'yes.'" A smile curls the edge of his mouth. It looks painful as it stretches bruised and cracked skin. I wince to see the broken tooth. "He broke your tooth."

His smile grows. "I'm glad he knows," he states boldly.

I narrow my eyes at him. "Glad?"

"I have to own up to this, Daisybaby, but I don't want you in trouble. Conner won't say anything to Alpha Alex unless he has to."

I shiver at the thought. "I should have told Alpha Alex the truth," I mumble.

"Why didn't you? I would have been the one in trouble and you would have gotten the specific help you needed," he looks agitated.

"Everyone thought I was going to shift MateLess. The symptoms are similar," I add quietly.

"But you weren't, babydaisy," he says softly. "And if they had known it was all me then they would have forced me to help you earlier and it would have alleviated your wolf's pain. You didn't need to be in the hospital, for fuck's sake, Ili," his voice chokes off. "I didn't even know you were there. I should have had my ass kicked years ago," he adds hoarsely.

I shake my head, unable to speak through the lump in my throat. "I didn't want you in trouble," I admit in a voice so soft and broken I doubt he heard me. Pathetic. It's so fucking sad that I ever thought about what might happen to Sean

He sucks in a soft, pain-filled breath. "Never sacrifice your health for me."

I guess he did hear me after all. "I have my pride, too," I say stiffly. I still can't fathom having to tell everyone the truth.

Arms wrap around me, hugging me close while I sniff back my tears. "I'm sorry, babydaisy."

"So?" I whisper. "If Georgina hadn't cheated on you with Alphason Conner, you would have been relieved that I declared myself MateLess." I point out.

Sean doesn't refute my statement, instead, he quietly says, "but my stupidity isn't your fault. I was blind, but it was never that you weren't utterly perfect."

"Did you read a manual on how to soothe your rejected mate or something?" I snap, moving out of his embrace as far as the cramped bathroom allows.

"I don't think about much else, Ili," he tells me seriously. "I think about you, and what I did to you, and I do my job." He pauses. "I did my job. I'm no longer the future Beta."

I gasp, "what?"

His mouth twists in a self-deprecating smile. "Conner wouldn't ever allow me to become his Beta after what I did." I'm still in shock when he gently takes my hand in his and opens the door with the other. "Let's go tell your parents. You can move tomorrow, after the dinner-"

"Woah, wait, Sean. No one is moving anywhere just like that. I need to tell my parents about this. I can't just leave tomorrow."

He shakes his head. "Alpha Alex signed it as an order," he says, significantly.

Damnit. I really want to kick him in the back of his knees, but even as beat up as he is I'd probably hurt myself more than him. I'm still wrapping my head around the idea of moving when we walk into the dining room. Just my dad is there and in some sort of fatherly-sixth-sense, his eyes immediately focus on my hand in Sean's. I snatch my hand away, but it's too late, Dad saw it.

Shit.