I hold the ear of corn in one hand, taking a bite, while the fingers on my other hand tap out a rhyme on the massive, polished oak table. It seats over twenty wolves, a good thing as more and more of Sarj's family came to greet us and congratulate him on finding his little witchy mate.

"That's still weird," I point to GB and Sarj with the end of my half-eaten corn. Sarj doesn't look up, but the tiny, dark-haired little tot sticks her tongue out at me. My wolf huffs, but he's relaxed in this cozy family atmosphere. It's nothing like what I envisioned the deadly RustClaw pack being like.

"It is a different fate," Luna Willa shrugs one shoulder, dismissing the idea that having her four-year-old fated to a full-grown-ass adult male, a MateLess male no less, isn't weird at all. I guess Sarj isn't as MateLess as he thought, and isn't that a mind-fuck?

"I don't mean the age difference," I tell her. "I mean the whole he was boohooing about being MateLess less than three hours ago. Now, look at him. He's being watched by Barbie dolls... and he's happy about it." A line of them sits on the table, leaning on the bowls and dishes and other crockery, lifeless eyes gazing right at Sarj and GB.

"He has a lot of Barbies in his future," one of the Luna Matron's three mates says drolly. Rhet, the blue-eyed leader of the trio, continues, "wait until you wake up with them on your pillow because they 'had nightmares.' It's a damn horror-flick come to life."

Luna Willa's freaky golden eyes are still watching me as her mate glowers next to her. His dark eyes, just like his daughters, glare holes into Sarj's head. "You can't kill your brother," I blurt out, getting a little nervous under that golden stare.

"I can remove his balls," Alpha Inuit Genome says, perfectly reasonably. "He'll live."

"Like the bulls, right Pa?" one of the younger males says excitedly, bouncing in his seat. "Then they can't make calves and later we eat them?"

"Yup," his father replies.

Sarj ignores it all, fishing one of Barbie's shoes out of his shepherd's pie.

"Do you like males?"

I only know the question is directed at me because the Great Luna of the North hasn't stopped watching me for the past ten minutes. It takes the rest of the table time to catch up.

"Not really?" I answer Luna Willa. "I haven't really ever met a male I was attracted to, yet. I've really only looked at two other wolves that way, both females." I don't tell her what porn I watch, that the bi-sex shit is the best. I love watching groups, but there's no use adding fuel to her fire.

Luna Willa takes a bite, "but you like males," she states after she swallows and takes a sip of water.

"I like males," Thjis, one of Luna Matron Lyri's males says blandly, saving me from having to answer. "I just don't have anyone I'm attracted to."

"Hey! I'm gorgeous!" Ezra, another mate, protests good-naturedly.

Thjis regards him for a moment. "Nope. Sorry. Not happening. I've literally smelled your shits for decades."

Ezra pouts while Rhet snickers, "Lyri, Thjis wants to cheat on us."

"No breaking Sunshine's heart, Bear," Luna Lyri looks up from feeding one of her... Goddess, I think it's an adopted sister... or daughter. This family is as crazy and convoluted as mine. My wolf and I love it. I wonder how many pups Ili wants? We may not be able to have them. Uncle Alex hasn't tested out compatibility, but if Luna Matron Lyri can adopt, then so can we. Maybe we'll adopt and have biological pups. Ili's health is still shaky. I don't want to strain her too much.

"I like females, too," Thjis waggles his eyebrows at his mate. He's shaved his head completely, so his eyebrows take on a life of their own, making the move all the more effective.

"You like a female," Lyri shoots back. Thjis laughs and reaches over the table to grab her hand and kiss her fingertips.

"The best female," he says quietly to her. They share an aw-shucks moment.

"I'm still offended," Ezra jumps in, nudging Thjis's shoulder and breaking his concentration on their female.

Rhet sighs, "You're not hideous, Sunshine."

Ezra grins happily. "You're a sexy beast, too, Blue-eyes."

"Mama, Boo teasing Sunshee," one of the blonde, brown-eyed tot's that Alpha G and Luna Willa produce en masse, points at Rhet.

"Stop it," Luna Willa says blandly.

"Why am I always blamed?" Rhet protests, but he's grinning, relaxed, as he tweaks the pup's nose as he giggles.

I eat, smiling, figuring this training shit won't be so bad. When Ili and I mate I can bring her back here. She'll probably get a kick out of meeting Luna Willa.

"You carry the stars with you," Luna Willa says solemnly to me. "Like them." She indicates Luna Matron Lyri's three males with a nod.

There's a pause, then a heavy hand claps on my back. "You want to pitch or catch dick, Brax?" Alpha G asks me.

My wolf snorts, rolling over and pouting.

---

"A honeymoon? When and where?" I ask Conner in surprise.

He grimaces slightly and I start to nod my agreement to his unspoken words. It's not the best time for the alphason to run off on vacation, despite how much he and Bailey deserve some time off. The region's she-wolves are disappearing and being tortured and experimented on. Later today the two females and one male that Sarj and Braxton found are arriving. Bailey shared with us that she is only halfway through weeding through documentation of the illegal experiments conducted by the late Dr. Honeiker, her boss for a couple of months. Add to that, we have to run the three-year census of the pack. It's the first time Conner and I have ever been in charge of it. We have a shit-ton to do.

"Bailey wants to go to Switzerland, but we're only taking a week, so I promised her we could go to Chicago, then New York. I hate not giving her what she wants," he adds with a small snarl.

I just blink at him. Bending himself into a pretzel for his mate is... cool and disturbing. It makes me wonder what I would do for Ili... if we were together.

"When are you planning on leaving?"

"After her party," he says blandly.

Thank fuck we aren't in charge of planning that. I'm busy.

"Alright, Con. I've got the census data pulled up."

"Where are you starting?" he asks me absently as he thumbs through his own copy on the iPad.

"Medical," I say with forced casualness.

"Good idea. Let's get the list going with any missed appointments. I can probably ask Uncle Mattie to help assist in catching us up with checkups if we need more hands."

"That would be good," I agree, already skimming over the names. ClearHowl's census data wasn't just a way to count numbers. Hell, we aren't that big. We know how many wolves we have. It's really a way to make sure that everyone has what they need to be safe and secure in the pack. Conner's papa, Blu, started it decades ago.

I search up Ili's name, first. "I'll meet you here later, yeah?" I say to Conner as I head for the door.

"I'll be here," he mutters, glaring at his computer screen.

I sidestep the little robot-vacuum on my way out, then freeze when a robotic voice says, "excuse me."

"Fucking hell, what is this shit?" I ask Conner. I stare down at the black disk as it rolls across the tile flooring.

He won't meet my eyes. "WALL-E is Bailey's favorite movie. She gave it a voice. Thinks it's cute as fuck."

"Oh no!" the robot chirps. The flat disk rolls through the doorway and heads for Conner's desk. "Messy," it intones.

"That's fucking creepy as hell."

Conner scowls at the vacuum. "She made about a dozen of them with her human friend, Jared," the pencil he has in his hand snaps in half.

"She's allowed to have friends, Con," I say carefully.

He scowls at his mate's WALL-E. "It only calls me messy. I swear that punk kid programmed them all to hate me."

"You check for bugs?"

He snorts, "of course. I had Uncle Dev scan them all, twice. He thinks it's fucking hilarious."

I hide my grin as the robot chirps again, rolling over to Conner while the six-foot-five alpha-wolf glares at it uncomfortably.

"See ya, Con," I rasp out, holding back my laughter. "Bye, WALL-E."

"Shut up," is Conner's response.

I head over to my truck, whistling. Driving to the clinic, I grab my iPad and walk inside.

"Good Morning, Beta Sean," one of the nurses, Alia, greets me, looking a little frazzled.

"Is everything ready for the females?" I ask her quietly.

Alia nods. "We're just finishing setting up rooms now."

"Good. Do you have a minute to show me the records?"

She nods, taking me back to the office with the secured files. "We're mostly all computerized now, with only the most current medical information in paper files. There are plans to train all of the staff on using programming to keep track of everything, but a few old-school nurses and doctors still prefer paper," she explains.

Alia opens the program for me, then shows me the access card. "This is good for the entire week," she tells me. "All of the pack's information is in here, fairly up-to-date like I said, but the filing cabinets are behind us. Sometimes the most current information is in their paperfile."

"How often do you transfer the information?" I ask her.

"We are supposed to do it every two weeks." There's a note of hesitancy in her voice.

"How often does actually happen?" I ask with a raised brow.

"It depends on the nurse," she admits. "Most of us get it in within a month. Sometimes a little longer."

"Who sees the information?"

"All of the staff can access it, but the responsibility to add it falls on the nurse who saw the patient."

"Why not enter it at the appointment?" I ask her.

She frowns, "we have old-school doctors," she explains again.

I nod, making a note on my iPad to speak to each of the staff about this. It's not logical to write down the same information, twice, and can cause more mistakes if it's not transferred correctly.

Alia leaves, and I pull up the program and head straight for Ili's file. While it loads, I stand and search for her recent medical file, which, I assume, will have the latest information from her stay a couple of days ago.

Sitting back down, I start noting her health checks, starting with the shit Braxton pulled, then going backward. As I read, I can feel my skin becoming clammy and cold. The computers require the air conditioning to be on high, but that's not why I'm shivering. I'm a wolf. I run hot, but even my wolf is shivering where he's lying, passed out cold.

Iliana really did almost die. I didn't believe it, not really. I pushed the thought away because how could it be true? I stare blindly at the date in the column of information. She was hospitalized while I was running around training and living life. Her heart was weak, working nearly twice as hard as it should have been to keep her alive. Her body temperature is low, consistently for the last year and a half. Her teeth, skin, and nails show clear signs of malnutrition. She went months with not being able to eat without throwing up. Her throat, mouth, and esophagus all show signs of damage from the acidity.

I push the iPad away for a moment to just breathe. My wolf stirs and I inhale deeply, working to suppress the urge to wreck the room I'm in, like Dad taught me years ago, in and out, control the beast.

I knew she suffered, I remind myself. Yeah, I totally fucking lied to myself about how bad it was, but I can handle this shit. I need to control my psycho animal because Ili isn't out of the woods yet.

I go back to the top of the screen, to the most recent activity in her file. What can I do now to help her recovery? Grimacing, I stare at the words swimming around in my vision. Blinking, it takes concentration to work through the fear and shame to read it. Ili hasn't seen her nutritionist. It was recommended, but she never went. OK, that I can work with. What else?

I read further. Swimming would actually be a good activity for her, I admit. It can strengthen her stamina and muscles without overworking her. I'll have to talk to the little coward, Owen, about giving her lessons without pushing her too hard too quickly.

She needs to sleep, I note. Her records include a few sentences about insomnia. Her cold body doesn't help her ability to rest completely, I read. So, sleep, eat, and swim. That should be Ili's life right now.

I can do that.

My wolf lifts his head. I can't take more pills yet. I've already maxed out the allowable dose. If I take more I run the risk of not being able to shift at all. I did that, once, and had a fucking difficult time hiding it from Conner.

I lock the computer after downloading Ili's information to my iPad. I have to move, to get out of this tiny, ice-cold room before I lose my mind to my wolf.

Locking the door behind me, I slip out of the clinic without anyone seeing me and head straight toward's Ili's house.

Next to Georgina's room is the two-story latticed rose vine. Shedding my shoes, I find purchase on the structure. I climb up to the thin, protruding roofline over the first floor, grimacing as I remember doing this to sneak into Georgina's room last year while my mate slept in the same house.

It makes me dizzy from shame, but because of that, I vaguely know the floor plan of Ili's house. It's a four-bedroom house. Down the hall, near the stairs, is Ili's childhood room. The one she's in now, downstairs, used to be the study.

The window jams a little, but I jimmy it open and sneak inside. Looking around in the dark I feel my heart pound in anticipation. A soft light blue comforter covers the bed, touches of blue and green everywhere. The downstairs bedroom is done in pink and yellow, mostly floral and clearly not Ili's taste. A white bookshelf in the corner is almost completely empty except for a row of trophies and ribbons at the top. I wander over. They are covered in a thick layer of dust, but the figures on top are clearly figure-skaters.

I peer closer and feel a little shocked at the titles that my mate has won. I knew she skated, but I never knew how good she was. Little Miss State Championships, Junior Nationals, even one from the Junior Olympic Trials. She was an amazing athlete. The trophies are arranged in chronological order. I run my finger over the last one on the shelf. It's dated from February of two years ago. She stopped skating when I fucked up her life.

My wolf snarls. His upper lip curls up to reveal the wicked-looking canines that sink and tear into my consciousness and enemies alike.

I push him away, to think, to wonder. How many hours did she spend at the rink to be this good? The dedication has to be unbelievably high. Shit... this is why Ili was never really around much.

Ili never really seemed to participate in other things pups her age were doing; summer camps, trips into the mountains, even pack barbeques. How much did she miss because she was training for something more than what a typical teenager does?

Georgina... she told me that Ili wasn't around because she didn't have many friends. She wasn't liked because she was a bully, a mean, nasty she-wolf. Uppity, too, with her close friendship to the asshole, Grim. This is a different side to Ili and suddenly her words after the Mating Ceremony make sense to me. She's a competitor, a tough she-wolf, used to sacrifice and hard work.

Relief floods me in a surge that sends me to my knees and my wolf back into his den. My mate is a survivor. She's going to recover from her weakness and be strong again. If anything, I need to make sure she takes care of herself a little better and sees the nutritionist, and listens to the doctors.

I take a small trophy off the shelf. It's dated from when Ili was only seven years old. It's a tiny skater, curtsying, and the figurine looks like a young, slightly chubby girl. It's Ili's first trophy. The brass engraving is worn down and I can picture a little Ili rubbing her thumb over the letters again and again. I rub the same spot and feel the grief from my wolf as he stirs in his drug-induced slumber.

He feels like he killed his mate and for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I understand him.

This happy, chubby little skater is gone. I swallow down the familiar guilt and pocket the trophy then move to her closet. It's pretty empty, but I still hit the jackpot. A row of boxes with various years labeled on them. I open one that is marked eight years ago. It would have been when she was about nine and ten. Opening it I find more awards, school things, mostly. A bunch of pictures of Ili and her friends... and a fucking journal. I swipe the diary and put the box back on the shelf. A quick look and I pick up the latest box. I'll have to come back some other time and take them all. My organized little mate has a virtual time capsule for every stage of her life up until she was sixteen.

I head back out through the window, peeking into Ili's new room. She's not in her room, not napping like she told me she would be. I may have royally fucked over our mating, but I'm not about to abandon her again. She's going to sleep when she needs to.

Fuck. She's going to be pissed at me for interfering and for some reason, that makes my wolf and I smile.