Nico contacts Percy.

Chapter Rating: Teen and Up

Content Warning: Cursing, Violence (mild), Self-Harm (mentioned only), Suicide (mentioned only)

Word Count: 2515

Forgot to post yesterday... oops...

And all the characters are owned by JK Rowling, or Rick Riordan.

Credits at the end.

____________________PERCY____________________

Brother.

For the first thirteen years of his life, Percy never knew what the word meant. It had always just been him and his mom against the world--Smelly Gabe, the Greek Gods, poverty in New York... everything.

In seventh grade, Tyson somehow walked into his life. Not a graceful gait but Percy had always liked it that way--he'd much rather have a loud and happy and active companion than a cautious and slow one. Percy hated people who never spoke their minds--it frustrated him.

Despite Tyson being his brother through and through, their relationship was never... well, normal. Tyson lived with Poseidon under the sea, making weapons and general-ing the Cyclopes army. Whatever 'general-ing' entailed.

The past school year--the year before Hogwarts--Percy finished his senior year of high school at Goode. He got good enough grades to qualify for New Rome's college with Annabeth. He didn't cause a disaster or kill anyone. He got a diploma. He got the one thing the twelve-year-old Percy was so desperate to have, the one thing that, until he got it, he never thought he would have.

At the end of that June, Percy Jackson got a future that offered him more than the label of "screw-up" or "loser" or "helpless." He'd go to college, he'd get a degree, he'd do something with his life. He wouldn't end up as a bum. He wouldn't end up like Gabe.

But, a funny thing about the future is that no matter how sure something seems, it's just as likely to happen as not to. Percy knew the Fates--he'd seen them more than once--and he knew just how much they liked keeping the future in the dark. Twelve-year-old Percy Jackson could imagine a world in which he had a diploma and a girlfriend ten leagues above his own and a mother married to a man she loved. He could imagine living in a decent sized apartment in New York with enough money to forgo worries about getting food on the table. He could even imagine seeing his father again, and having a relationship with him. Of course, the Percy of twelve assumed that all of it was a fantasy destined never to happen, but he could imagine such a thing.

But, a brother? An honest-to-gods brother who lived with him, worked with him, attended school with him, confided in him, helped him, and asked for help from him? The thought of such a future never once crossed Percy's mind. He never wanted it, never wished for it.

Until it happened, and Percy realized how happy it made him.

Near the end of August, his mom called Percy into the kitchen while Nico took a shower. There she sat with Paul beside her, and, with bright eyes, explained that she and Paul wanted to host Nico during the school year. Percy assured her it was an amazing idea, and welcomed Nico into the home as soon as he was out of the bathroom and dressed.

"Like a really long sleepover," Percy said, sitting next to Nico on Percy's bed. "Fun never has to end. Make sure you get your work done before the bell rings, because when we're together, we're gonna tear up this city."

"Define 'tear up.' " Nico countered. "Because I'd rather not get imprisoned for underage drugs and drinking the second someone gave me a shot."

"It means whatever you want it to," Percy answered swiftly. "I can show you around, find some emo place for you to do graffiti art. Teach you to skateboard--if you like Shadow Travel, it's a healthier way to get the same kind of rush. Sneak into places we're not supposed to be, maybe find a nice area for you and Will to--"

"Hang out because we're friends."

"But you like him."

"No, I don't. And besides, he's straight."

"No, he's not."

"Yes, he is."

"Dude... no, he's not. And he's got a thing for--"

"Percy!"

"Fine, fine. But, that's the condition if you're gonna stay here. You're not allowed to be all... brooding anymore. You got grief, you tell me--or at least Mom or Paul, or someone. And when I say we're going to have a movie-moment day, we're having a movie-moment day. Deal?"

Nico looked at him with sparkling eyes and a grin that turned him from the fifteen-year-old son of Hades to the ten-year-old who just discovered his favorite game echoed reality. "Deal."

Nico kept his word. They started commandeering Sundays--the day of the week in which nothing ever happens--to go urban exploring and have a mortal's adventure. Between something like a family and Goode's tenth grade program, that year in New York gave Nico lasting happiness and stability for the first time since Westover Hall.

And, in the process, Percy labeled the boy 'brother.' He loved him the way he loved his mom or Paul, with a force and a fire that he could never have even guessed on that August day when he heard the words "Nico's moving in with us."

And, in the process, Percy knew Nico loved him back. Not like the crush of years ago--the obsessive longing and the self-hatred that came with it--but the same kind of love Percy felt. Platonic love--but stronger than any romantic love could ever be.

The two never said the words to each other. Percy named all sorts of reasons--the association to Nico's past crush, some arbitrary sense of 'manliness,' it not needing words because they both knew it... but now Percy admitted the truth. His fatal flaw was loyalty, and when he looked at Nico, he saw a brand new family member he could lose; refusing to say the words helped keep things at an arm's length.

In short, Percy Jackson was a coward.

And now, every few hours he checked in with Will and Lou Ellen to hear that they had no idea where to find Nico. Every few hours he had to IM his parents and tell them that the person they'd come to love as a second son was still missing. Every day, it grew more and more likely that Nico di Angelo was dead.

Like Will said in the Solstice meeting two days before--if Nico was dead, he died thinking no one loved him. And that was a much Percy's fault as it was Will's.

An owl dropped a letter in his lap, interrupting his thoughts. Percy watched in dazed confusion as it swooped out the library's window on its way to the owlery. Hermione had dragged Percy there earlier that morning, to read and take notes on various Greek stuff that might help them stop the end of the world. While Percy couldn't read, Hermione wanted a demigod there to ask questions and bounce ideas off of. But, she had no questions, and found nothing of value, so Percy was restless and let his mind wander.

"This owl just gave me something," Percy said, causing Hermione to look up at him in vague interest, "But it's not like I have any family in the Wizarding World."

"Open it," Hermione advised. "Maybe it's your dad--doesn't he send you messages in times of trouble?"

"Yeah..." Percy mumbled, "But he usually has the decency to talk to me or at least use Hermes."

He opened it, and saw the Greek, not of his father's hand, but another's. He'd seen this handwriting before, most recently in a journal he'd found as he and Annabeth set for Hogwarts again. The same handwriting as that final, heartbreaking word:

Goodbye

"Oh my gods..." Percy whispered, feeling hot tears of relief press against the back of his eyes. "It's... it's Nico."

"Nico?!" Hermione exclaimed. "He's all right?! What's going--"

Hermione stopped herself; Percy knew she'd seen his face and realized the magnitude of the letter. Percy stared at the address where Nico's pen had marked the page, and the left-hand corner swimming in white instead of a return address. With a gentle hand, Percy opened the letter and grabbed the note inside.

Percy--

I know I should be saying this in person, or, at the very least, IMing you. But this is less of a message than a confession, and I don't think I could get through it in person. I know that makes me a coward, but you've proven that you'll never judge me. No matter what I say or do.

It's up to you if you want to tell Annabeth or anyone else. There are parts I suppose everyone needs to know, but, well, I'll get on with it. Just use your judgment, all right? I can't stop you from talking, but you'll know what's public and what's private.

Wow... I'm rambling. In a letter. That takes skill.

Percy laughed; Nico's sarcasm came off the page in waves. Tears spilled over--there was no way anyone could emulate Nico's voice with such perfection. This was him. He was alive. He was all right.

First, I'm sorry about the 19th. I had to leave--and I'll tell you why soon--and I knew that if I told you (or anyone else), you'd convince me to stay. And I really wanted to stay. One comment from you, Jason, Hazel, or any of our other friends would've been enough to keep me there. So, I made the hardest decision of my life--to give up the love I fought for so long to have. I knew then, like I know now, that it's a shitty enough move to make you hate me.

I really hope you don't hate me.

"Of course not," Percy whispered. He didn't know what language he said it in--his brain was too overloaded to take note.

I went back to Aosta, where I grew up. I befriended a son of Hecate--Alabaster C. Torrington--who used magic to shield me from my father. It was my decision, Percy, not Hecate's. And not Alabaster's either--I asked him to perform the spell long after I'd come up with the plan on my own. I would've run sooner, but if I abandoned this quest, Hades would kill me.

And I mean that literally. He would smite me in a second.

I'm now with Hecate and know about the mess I caused. I know about Persephone's death (and that Hecate killed her), the impending war, and the coming Wizard Genocide. I'm working with Alabaster and Hecate to stop it all before the 31st; Hecate told me you're at Hogwarts doing the same. Maybe we'll meet in the middle, maybe soon. I hope so.

Despite what you might think, this is all my choice. Hecate gave me options, and I chose to join her. Bigger things are going on than I realized back in August when I accepted the quest. But I'm doing my duty. And I'm doing it with people who confide in me, rather than manipulate me into imprisoning my friends.

You need to hear this from me before Hades finds out and does Fates-know-what: I renounced him and took Hecate as my patron. She granted me temporary immortality so Hades can't punish me for "betraying" him. When he finds out, he'll probably call bullshit on my free will and assume Hecate bewitched me or something, but that's not true. Hell, if it is, I don't care--I finally feel like I have control for the first time since... New York, I guess.

Finish hunting the horcruxes. I figured out one last one, but if you have others missing, I don't know, so I can't help. You need to weaken Riddle--I'll kill him when the time is right. I know what my "true self" is, and how it'll stop all this insanity. You don't have to worry about me--I may have given up Hades, but I'm still loyal to the camp. I don't want the end of the world, and, despite what Hades might tell you, neither does Hecate.

Ok, so, the final horcrux: Harry Potter.

Percy read that last sentence five times before it sank in. And even then...

First question I'm assuming you're asking (because you're not a dumbass): how do I know this? Well, with more time on my hands and a clear head not dominated by thoughts of "how do I make Dad love me" I can figure the stuff out that I should've at least a month ago.

Hades mentioned another prophecy that concerned Harry; that's why he wanted us to befriend him. I tracked it down (alone, so Hades can't call manipulation), and it goes like this:

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches,

Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies,

And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal,

But he will have power the Dark Lord knows not,

And either must die at the hand of the other,

For neither can live while the other survives,

The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,

Will be born as the seventh month dies."

Most of it is just characteristics that point to Harry, but the middle lines are the important ones. The scar on his head is the "mark" because Riddle went after Harry, thus making him important--my first dream. A power Riddle knows not is love--or, more specifically, empathy. In my second dream, Riddle felt nothing but hate and cold... even if Harry's an annoying little shit, he at least cares about someone.

And the last line? That's from my final dream--one I never got around to telling you about. Harry's blood runs through Riddle's veins because Harry resurrected Riddle.*

*HI LOOK AT THE MARGINS:

Just reread this, and I realized how that sounds. Harry was tied up against his will and forced to by one of Riddle's henchmen. He's not Riddle's ally, I promise.

The issue with Harry's blood is that his mom died to save him, giving Harry the blessing of his mother. When Riddle used that blessed blood on himself, he resurrected that sacrifice. It makes the shield of protection even stronger--so long as one of them is alive, the other can only die if they choose to.

And, that sounds an awful lot like a horcrux, doesn't it? One has to die for the other to die?

Plus, Harry and my feud came out of nowhere. I looked at one of his friends funny at King's Cross, and suddenly he's stalking me, and my sword is at his throat. When I see horcruxes, I get this kind of angry feeling--I didn't know what that felt like yet, since we hadn't run into a horcrux when I met Harry. And the feud was born.

Harry has to die, but he has to choose to die. And, he has to die the same way as any other horcrux--a way he can't come back with. I don't know if that means stabbing him with the Sword of Gryffindor or what, but you have to talk to him and make him see sense.

Ok, here's the personal bit--why I had to run away. I trust you, Percy.

"You too," Percy whispered.

I self-harm.

Percy let out something between a sigh, hiccup, and laugh of shocked horror. The words didn't compute... Nico... self-harm... I... Nico... self... what?

You know how people say you build things up in your head, and nothing's ever as hard to do as you think it will?

Well, people are fucking stupid. Screw leaving you people--that was the hardest thing I've ever done.

But it's not your fault, Percy. I've been through Tartarus and back and I've never known how to deal with it. I've been sick for a really long time, and I never told anyone how bad it got. And when I was with you and Sally and Paul I was so fucking happy that I felt guilty about it. I mean, you hear about survivor's guilt turning people mad, but you never think about it much. I've been battling myself for so many years, but now--between Will (I assume he told you about us by now, but if not, should I even bother to say surprise?) and you and our friends, I had nothing to be sad about. And, with Jason and Will and other resources Sally found for me in New York, I knew how to deal with my depression. I knew that self-harm was a mental illness too, but I felt like I deserved to be depressed and suicidal and all that shit. As much as I wish otherwise, facts don't really impact emotions much.

Harry found out about my problem during Umbridge's detention. And he used it as blackmail to find out about the quest.

"Nope," Percy mumbled, though his vision already turned red. "Nopity, nope, nope nope, just read, Jackson, deal with... just read... nope, nope..."

LISTEN TO ME PERCY--don't kill him. Beat him up--and send me pictures, if possible--but he's not worth shit. Definitely not enough to turn someone as humane as you into a murderer.

But, back to why I ran:

I was terrified of letting Hades down and knew that going against his orders would turn me into a grease spot. I was so terrified I couldn't even think those thoughts in my head--it took me like twenty fucking minutes to write that sentence! And I knew he wouldn't care about the self-harm or the blackmail as reasons for failure. He cares about me, I know that, but his anger takes control when I do something wrong. And he's never tried to fix that.

Honestly, that was the moment I decided to leave. It was for Harry, sure, I needed to get away from him--the stress and blackmail were so horrible I almost killed myself.

The words didn't compute anymore. Percy trembled with emotion as he continued reading.

If some wizard hadn't walked in and interrupted me, I would've. But, that got me thinking: why was I doing a quest--killing myself over a quest--for a man who punished me when I made the slightest mistake? And never rewarded me when I did anything right? I joined the quests for two gods-damned Great Prophecies despite not needing to go, and he never gave me a 'thanks' or 'congratulations.' He showed up once to tell me he wants me to be happy, but that doesn't fix the weeks worth of memories I have of outright abuse.

That was the last straw.

I don't know what I'm going to do after the 31st, should I still be alive. But I'm never going back to Hades and Persephone--I'd rather serve Kronos. But, (and tell the others this) I never once thought of betraying you or either camp, and I'm thinking about all of you while I'm with Hecate. I'm fighting in your names.

And Will--it's all right how things ended. It was incredible while it lasted, and, like I said, I knew going in that someone might come out hating my guts. Even if it's really hard to think about Will hating my guts.

Just know that this was never about you--Percy, you went from being the most complicated person in my life to one of the only ones who I always know where I stand. You're my brother, Percy Jackson. And I will love you for the rest of my life, even if you hate me for the rest of yours.

- Nico di Angelo

Percy looked up and realized Hermione had walked him to the Room of Requirement. He'd been so busy reading and reacting that he hadn't even felt himself move; his legs had just carried him to his destination. Everyone stared at him, waiting to hear the contents of the note in his hand. Lethargic, Percy put Nico's letter on the table beside him.

Then, he dived at Harry Potter.