《(Over)Thinking About You》1
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I felt stupid as I lingered in the aisles. I just wanted to buy some snacks. There was only one cashier at this 7/11 and he was surrounded by other guys as they cracked jokes at each other.
My snacks were surely slick with sweat from my palms. I gripped them tight to my chest as I frantically thought of how I could interrupt as politely as I could.
"You can't be deadass bro, she's not into you." One of them jeered.
"What do you mean? She was feeling me at Marcus's party last week."
I dreaded having to push through those guys, especially since I was the only other person in the store. It would be awkward to just stand and stare at them and it might give them the impression that I was listening in on their conversation. I sauntered through each aisle in an attempt to buy myself some more time to think.
I grabbed anything I could to keep my hands busy. I wanted to make sure I went up there with something to show for the time that I'd already wasted.
I shouldn't be wasting all this money.
This was for a good reason. I didn't want to be the one to break up that conversation. My eyes continuously darted towards the entrance. I prayed someone else would come in the store, but no one came. Plotting my escape would be difficult with most of his friends blocking the way.
The longer I spent, the worse I felt.
"You always texting first. She stay leaving you on seen for hours then hits you with the 'I was sleeping.'" Another obnoxiously mimicked a girl.
I couldn't put it off any longer. My stomach did somersaults as I dejectedly walked over to the counter. I couldn't hide my pained expression as I approached the group.
I paused, maybe I should just put everything back and return to my dorm, I thought to myself. My arms began to ache from all the unnecessary weight I added to my load.
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"I promise she does not want you." They all laughed.
I realized I'd only make it worse if I left empty-handed. With this, my breathing became labored and my heart pounded. If it weren't for the death grip I had on all my items, they would've slipped out of my profusely sweating hands. I took a shaky step forward as I tried to think of what to do next. My mind went blank.
I was only steps away from the group. My mind exploded with more questions instead of answers. What do I say? Where do I get the money to pay for all this stuff? How do I start? Who do I ask? Why did I come here? When will this all be over? I took another shaky step forward and cursed myself for not leaving when I had the chance.
A can of soup fell from my hands. One of the boys turned around and made eye contact with me. He glanced down at my items and tapped one of his friends. "Yo move out of the way." The rest of the boys turned and looked at me and stepped to the side, allowing me a clear path to the cashier. Oh god. Silence rippled throughout the store.
Everything I went through to give myself more time to think only dug me into a deeper hole. I was about to embarrass myself in front of a group of guys. I only came in here with $10. I chewed the inside of my cheek and forced a smile. I nodded at each of the boys and I made my way to the counter.
One of the guys had picked up the fallen can for me and placed it on the counter. I turned and thanked him quickly and finally looked at the cashier. "Hi." He simply said as a coy smile played on his lips.
His soft brown eyes didn't leave mine and I swiftly broke eye contact. "Hello," I said while looking at my groceries.
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"Hey man, we'll just catch you later." One of his friends said. As though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I watched as his friends filed out, some of them snickered and others playfully pushed each other. It was just the two of us in the store.
He began to ring up my items. I had to stop him before he scanned them all. It would be mortifying to ask him to put some items back. As my brain attempted to navigate through a list of increasingly outrageous excuses I heard him say, "$6.80." It was an all too familiar number. I met his gaze and blushed as his eyes studied my face.
I looked back down and he had pushed aside the extra items I had picked up. "W-what about the rest of my items?" I asked innocently. I felt compelled to commit to this ruse in fear that he'd call me out on my stupid actions.
"Well, this magazine is two months old and you don't seem like you read those." He picked up the magazine and tossed it in the trash behind him. "Allergy season doesn't start for another few months so it doesn't make sense for you to buy those." He tosses the medication into the return bin.
"In all my time working here, I have never seen someone buy a can of soup, especially not a college student. Did you run out of dining dollars or something?" He asked playfully. He had seen through my scheme instantly.
Horrified, I felt my cheeks flush repeatedly. "Do yourself a favor and go to Target, get some ramen noodles. Ten out of ten."
"I've never seen you grab any of these snacks before, plus
I know you only ever come in here with $10. You also get the same things every time." Does this guy watch me whenever I come to the store?
"I know you definitely don't need these." He wagged a pack of condoms in my face, shattering my remaining composure as my eyes lifted slowly. A scream lodged itself in my throat. "You don't look like you practice safe sex." He remarked cheekily. I quickly looked up at him, my eyes wide with surprise. Why is this perfect stranger attacking my character?
"I'm messing with you!" He laughed heartily at my shocked reaction. "You look like you don't have sex at all." He chuckled lightly while keeping his eyes on me.
I had never been spoken to like that. I've heard good friends talk to each other in this manner but I barely know this man. Still, I couldn't help the small smile that formed on my face. I was surely red from head to toe.
"Once again, I'm just messing with you. However, I must suggest that if you need condoms you should head over to the Health and Wellness Center. They give out a bunch for free." His eyes twinkled with amusement as he grinned.
I held myself back from smiling fully, afraid that I would burst into laughter. "Thanks for the tip," I said as I handed him the money for my usual items.
"Don't thank me. Thank the lucky guy who gives it to you." He laughed as I playfully shoved his shoulder from across the counter. "Okay, I'm sorry, that's the last one!" He put his hands up in mock surrender and I could barely contain my giggles. What is going on?
He bagged my items and gave me my change. "Good night and thank you," I said before putting on my headphones and heading back to campus.
"Good night cutie." He retorted. I ignored it because I wanted to believe I misheard him. I wouldn't want another reason to embarrass myself.
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