During my friend's bachelorette party, we rode the subway to get from A to B. Sunday morning as we were waiting near the rails, a man approached us and asked for a couple bucks. He informs us that if he got one from each of us, he'd have enough for a whole meal at McDonald's. He's just so hungry, didn't eat last night, could we just help him out?

Well, it was the morning after the big night, and none of us had cash left. And this guy, he wasn't the sort of upstanding gentlemen who'd lost his wallet helping an old woman cross the street.

So, no money.

Our beautiful bride-to-be did have her snack bag at her hip, and she offered him a bottle of water and a large, unopened bag of pretzels.

"No thanks," he says, and walks a few feet down the way to tell an older couple about his hunger.

This guy pleading with us about how hungry he was didn't want free food and water! He came to us asking for one thing, but he was looking for something else (money, which he wasn't going to use to buy girl scout cookies).

I can't tell you how many requests I get from people asking for critiques and edits for their work.

After providing a thoughtful, in-depth critique, some people are exactly like the beggar. Thanks but no thanks. Each sentence below is a sample of responses I've heard over the years from people honest with me in their thank-yous.

"I was actually only looking for comments. I just wanted to know if it was good or bad. I didn't want that much detail. All I wanted to know was how bad the spelling is. Thanks but no one else said those things about my story and they all liked it. I wasn't looking for that level of feedback. That's just your opinion. Etc."

Now, it's one thing to say those things if you thought you could handle more than you could. It happens.

, to ask them to waste their valuable time reading line by line and trying to be helpful, only for you to turn around and tell them that all you really wanted was just an answer to the question: is this good or bad?

Making suggestions and offering corrections to your story isn't going to make ours better or more popular.

Recently I encountered a person who requested a critique from me, and when I went to their story, I found out that it was an old version. They wanted me (who specifically stated that I do long, in-depth critiques so don't ask if that's not what you want) to crit something that had already been edited and modified and was being marketed as far superior to the old version.

They wanted me to spend my time on something they'd already changed. That's a pretty big red flag* when you've been critting as long as I have. So I was upfront with them and informed them that I would be happy to crit the new story or simply leave a comment on either version. I told them that I felt like it'd be a waste of both our times if I went through the old one if they weren't planning on changing it (especially since they'd released a new version). Odds were I'd spend time telling people to change something that is completely absent in the new version, or that they'd already changed themselves.

*that they're not going to listen to a word you have to say

And you know what? They agreed. They were honest and confessed that they just wanted to know "how bad the old one was" and that they'd rather have a comment on the new one than a critique. They never wanted the in-depth crit.

They earned my respect for that. I was still ticked that they basically completely ignored the details of my ad and were willing to let me waste an hour of my time on their chapter. But my editor's instinct saved me and they were honest when I asked. No harm, no foul.

But in the future, be honest. I would've wasted an hour of my life on the little details and explanations for why I'm asking to change things, when this user would have just looked at 1000 words of corrections and said "Oh, I guess it WAS as horrible as I thought lol" and done nothing.

It's okay to say "Hey, could you keep it to a couple of specific points? I'd like just an overall summary (like how bad the grammar is, etc) if that's alright? I know my grammar is bad. Could you please ignore that and just tell me if the main charrie is likeable or not? I'm looking for help with realistic dialogue. Maybe you can just crit that?