Finally, the day we all had been waiting for, the day we had practiced our asses off for, was here.

The day of the season's first big lacrosse game. The first game that's like the very first impression for us. And the first impression, is the lasting impression.

Coach was a bundle of nerves and anxiety right now, and we were not far off from feeling like that either.

So us, the whole Junior's lacrosse team, was in the locker room right now, discussing strategy and being pep talked by Coach.

"Remember what I told y'all, play like this is the last game you'll play. Don't bring me down boys, I'm depending on you." And with that, Coach Shay gave each of us a pat on the shoulder as he passed.

Now it was Liam, the captain's turn to give a motivating speech. "Okay guys. Just like Coach said before. This game is like our first impression. Remember each and every point we went over in practice, your mistakes, every tiniest detail. All of those are important. And make them work in the field. We need to win this for Coach, team effort. Right?"

"RIGHT!"

"Would you like the Birmingham players standing as winners on our field?"

"HELL NO!" We chorused.

"Then let's kick some Birmingham ass!" Liam called out and all of us cheered. The other lads walked out to get ready and Liam and I hanged behind.

"You did great, mate," I clapped Liam on the back. "We'll do our best. You're an amazing captain, don't worry."

Liam sighed. "I'm more worried about the team work. You know how it happens between the guys on the field sometimes."

Before I could respond, the door to the locker room opened and Harry walked in.

"Phew! Just in time," He gave me a dimpled grin and walked over.

"Good luck guys," he nodded to us and Liam smiled back. "I'm gonna go get my equipment."

The moment we were alone, Harry bent down and gave me a quick but passionate kiss. I blinked and pulled back, a dazed expression on my face. Jeez, he has that effect on me.

"Good luck," he whispered in my ear and slipped out of the room before I could say anything else. Yep. That was a good luck kiss. Wow.

Just as Liam walked back in after hearing the door close behind Harry, we walked out to join our team mates. After a while, Coach came back and ushered us out as it was showtime.

Taking a deep breath, I tightened my grip around my crosse stick and put on my helmet.

"Let's do this."

~*~

Coach Shay blew his whistle and all of us, the crowd, cheered as our team arrived on the field. The opposite team had already arrived and was warming up on the field.

I kept my eye out for Zayn and a smile unconsciously slipped on my face when I caught sight of my boyfriend. And damn, did he look hot in that uniform.

As the team formed a huddle and Liam barked out orders, Louis nudged me. "Have you seen Niall?"

"Yeah, I saw him buying more corn dogs," Dani answered instead.

Louis shook his head, smiling adoringly. "That boy."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Lou Bear is in LOVE!"

"Oh, shut up! It's just that, it's kinda cute how he has a black hole for a stomach."

Dani raised an eyebrow. "How is that cute?"

"Oh, stop questioning me you two and keep your eyes on your boyfriends!" Louis huffed, just as Niall sat down beside him with a LOT of food in his arms and offered some to Louis. Yep. He shares his food, but only with Louis.

I laughed and turned my attention back to the field to see the team had disbanded and the players going first were in their positions. Zayn played in first line so he was up first, of course.

He suddenly looked up and our eyes met, so I offered him an encouraging smile which he returned with a nervous one.

The whistle signalling the first round blew and an intense and adrenaline filled game of lacrosse started.

~*~

The game was going great, amazing even, by the end. At the start of the game, I was really nervous as Birmingham were not just an ordinary team, but tonight I discovered we could take them down easily.

Nervousness could now be seen on the faces of every player of the opposite team as we were gradually catching up. With two minutes to spare, we only needed two more points to bag the game.

Easy.

~*~

Okay, so now I had 10 seconds on the clock and this last point was gonna make or break the game.

My muscles were tensed, mind alert and ready.

I can do this, I can do this.

Coach has chosen me for the final shot. They depend on me. I can do this.

I nibbled on my mouth piece in anticipation and tightened my grip on my crosse stick.

The whistle blew and without wasting a second, my feet propelled up from the grass and I was running full speed at the goal. At the last minute, I turned my body 180 degree and shot the ball across the field.

The seconds it took me to look back, were the most tense moments of my life. The crowd held their breath.

I turned around to the sound of cheers, and my breath whooshed out of me in relief when I saw the ball in the net.

I did it.

My team mates ran over and hugged me, and I hugged them back.

"You did it mate! I told you!" Liam yelled and suffocated me in a hug.

Our first victory of the season, and this was in no way, beginner's luck.

"Babe, congratulations!" A cheer leader- Geneva I think her name was- greeted me. I grimaced. Babe?

"Uh, thanks..."

"Geneva." Then she looped her arms around my neck.

"You're an amazing player, you know that?" She purred. Panic was building up in my chest now. I had a boyfriend! But I couldn't say that. Not yet. I'm the player.

It's my fault that she's making a move on me. I still flirt with girls so no one suspects anything. I'm an arse, I know.

"Look, Geneva. Can you please just-" She cut me off my slamming her lips to mine.

[ Eh, too much cliche drama? Sorry.. *winces*]

The only thought I had was of how it felt when Harry kissed me and how utterly wrong it felt right now. Without wasting a second, I pushed Geneva off me.

"What the fuck?!" She smirked at me, but when she saw my expression, she backed off.

Without giving her a chance to say anything, I pushed her away angrily and walked away. To where? I don't know.

"Whoa there! Hold on!" A hand grabbed my shoulder.

"Hey Louis." Louis grinned at me. "That was some move you pulled there mate!"

"That was awesome!" Niall nodded in agreement.

"You're a pretty awesome player, Malik. I might replace you with Liam," Dani joked.

I grinned. "Thanks, guys."

"Hey! Dani that was mean!" Liam pouted and Dani instantly hugged him and murmured congratulations to him.

I frowned. "Wait, guys. Where's Harry?"

Louis looked behind him. "Huh. He was with us when we came down on the field."

On the field? I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Did Harry see Geneva kiss me? Oh God. He already hated how I was taking time to come out in public, and he barely tolerated when I flirted with other girls. Why the fuck do I even do that?

"I-I gotta go." I shoved past people and made my way inside the building.

I had a wild guess where Harry could've gone, and it was worth a shot.

I walked down the silent hallways to the locker room, my heart heavy with guilt and sure enough, Harry was curled up in the corner, just like he had been a month ago.

Harry was hurt the last time I found him here, and no doubt he was hurt right now too. But this time, it's all because of me.

"Harry?"

"You done with your bimbo?" He spat, and his words hurt. But it hurt more when I realized he was crying. Because of me.

Harry stood up to walk away but I grabbed his wrist, making him turn to me. He snatched his hand away but didn't move.

"Am I just your dirty little secret?"

I blinked in confusion. "What? 'Course not Harry!"

"Then why do you not want anyone to know about us? You flirt with girls just so nobody suspects anything, and whenever I say I want to make our relationship known, you brush me off saying you need time." He was crying now and I swallowed nervously, knowing he was right. I'm such a twat.

"And you kissed that girl today! In front of everyone! In front of me!" Harry choked, pulling at his curls.

"Harry no, I-"

"What did you want to prove, huh?"

"No, Harry listen to-"

"I-I have feelings too Zayn," Harry spoke softly. "But it now feels to me like you're playing me. I know it was too good to be true. A guy like you for me? Was it a dare to go out with me, huh? Is it still a joke for you? I told you all-"

"GOD HARRY WOULD YOU LISTEN! I didn't kiss Geneva, she kissed me. You gotta believe me. I'd never do that to you. I know, it's my fault 'cos I gave her the wrong impression by flirting with girls but I do that so-"

"No one can find about you dating a fag. Isn't that right?" Harry sneered. I winced when he used that word.

"I ADMIT IT! I've been a twat to you, I'm just a coward. And I didn't realize how much it must've hurt you. I just thought I was protecting us, protecting our relationship by pretending to be someone else, but I was just hurting you. I'm so sorry, Harry."

"Are you really that scared? Or are you just embarrassed-"

"NO! I am not embarrassed of you Harry! I didn't lie before when I said that you are the best thing that has happened to me. Nobody knows me like you do, knows my secrets like you do. I wish I could be like you, not care about what other people think of me but I'm not like that. I only pretend to be like that."

Harry was silent, looking down at his shoes.

I felt my eyes water. "I just want to get accepted. That's why I act. But I-I know I'm wrong. I should stop chickening out and accept who I am."

"Say something," I pleaded when he remained silent.

Harry looked up, but didn't meet my eyes.

"I get it. And yeah, you are a coward. You need to accept this. You need time to accept the fact that pretending to be someone else won't save you from the reality. Sooner or later, you'll come to terms with that. I guess I'll be waiting 'til then." Harry gave me a watery smile.

He's right. I hurt others by pretending to be someone else, hiding that I like guys, that I like Harry. to be someone I'm not. Harry told me this a few weeks after we'd met, but I'm only realizing how right he was now. But now it's too late. I've already hurt the most important person, I've already hurt Harry too much.

"I'm really sorry Harry. Forgive me?"

Harry bit his lip. "Zayn?"

"Hmm?"

"I-I think you still need time to come to terms with this. With your orientation. And everything else." I nodded at his words. He's understanding. He gives me time. God, I'm such an arsehole for treating such an amazing person like shit.

"Right. So I'm giving you more time," Harry murmured and looked down at his hands.

He looked back up, his green eyes serious. "I think we should take a break."

~*~