❁ And things were back to normal except we were just friends. ❁

It has been three months.

I am much better now but Hans doesn't let me stay away from the bed for quite long. He says I should take as much rest as I can like the doctor was not clear enough. But I'm sick of being stick to the bed all the time, except for my morning yoga deep breathing practice, and evening walks.

Oh I forgot to tell the most thing, my hair! They shaved my head before surgery. My hairs have grown a bit, but they blonde that is my natural hair color, and they're still very short.

Confession No. 38 - My love and obsession for long hairs can't be described in words.

So I use a wig, that looks exactly like the hair I had before. Hans tells me there's no need to use a wig, I look good even without it but I just can't see myself like that in mirror without getting flashbacks of when my nerves were literally having a shot circuit. A painful shot circuit.

I still need time to get comfortable with it.

But I have to say, Hans has been taking care of me like a child. He wakes up before me, and then makes breakfast for both of us. Oh heavens, he is a bloody good cook. And he sleeps after making sure I'm fast asleep.

All the time that I had worked as his assistant, I could tell he might be or maybe used to be The Male Bitch, but he never liked any leniency when it comes to his work. His company, Anderson Enterprises. He might be sleep deprived but would never have pending work.

Well, but because of my sick arse, he's been working from home. Taking care of me, making sure I get enough of his time, and then handling his company must be quite exhausting.

But I'm pretty much fine. Duh!

I have never really appreciated him, but he is really devoted towards his goals. All this time, I used to think that all the luxuries he possess is sort of a blessing from my father, Mr. Williamson.

Apparently, I was wrong.

The man has worked day and night to built everything he owns today.

And I realise, whatever that has happened in the past, it was not his fault. No one asked for his opinion, either. We both were being controlled by our fathers. The only difference was, he was aware of what was happening and I wasn't.

And that's where my overthinking arse screws up. I'm still not sure what Hans actually feels. The way he's taking care of me is a way of expressing his affection, or it's just some kind of guilt, like he feels obligated to do so.

If I recall the night, when Hans took me to Manchester, earlier that evening, he said that he loves me. But then again, my brain can't digest that either.

What have I possibly done for him to love me? I've always been a boring partner even when we were together, exact opposite of his preferences. I aborted his child. My father literally destroyed his whole family. And still he's the one taking care of me.

And, let's just not forget he paid for my surgery. That's what I believe.

Who else could have? I mean, I have never really discussed this matter with him or even Joe. I will soon, though. Just waiting for the right time. I don't want even a single penny that he has worked hard to earn. I don't deserve it. I will pay it back. Probably in EMIs. But I will.

Speaking of Josie, today she is going to look after me. Note the sarcasm.

Right now, she is in the attached balcony to this room, having a conversation with her colleague on phone probably about a case.

One of the many things that she and I share in common is that we hate picking up calls. 'Why can't people just message?', is our go to comment when we see an incoming call. But being a doctor, she can't avoid calls from the hospital or her colleagues. It could be about an emergency case.

“ How do I look? ” Hans raises a brow as he comes into my room, fixing his tie and halting my train of thoughts.

As usual, he's looking super hot in his navy blue tux. When does he not look hot? Probably, never. “ Like The CEO of Anderson Enterprises should. Elegant and Hot. ” I giggle as I almost mumble the last part, but his smirk signifies he heard it.

“ Okay then, see you soon. Ciao. ” he bends closer to me and plants kisses on both my cheeks while I gulp my own saliva in shock.

We were watching Elite on Netflix the other night. Yeah, that's where the two kisses on cheeks came from. He liked the way Spanish people greet each other.

“ Ahem, ahem. ” Josie fake coughs, just as Hans walks past the room. “ What was that? ”

“ Nothing. ” I lie as though my hormones aren't just doing hip hop right now. I'm not even going to blame myself this time for being so enchanted by Hans. He is the man one would be fascinated from.

“ Shut up and tell me, what is cooking between you two, huh? ” she raises her eyebrows twice in a naughty manner and I bite my lower lip. “ Nothing is happening between us. And you should be glad, you don't like him anyway. ”

“ Well, but you do. ” she immediately responds, and I roll my eyes.

She's not wrong though. I kind of do like him. But I'm not sure if he feels the same way or not. And this time I'm not really capable of having my heart broken once again.

“ Come on, you are literally living with your so called husband. Give me some steamy insights, girl. ” she teases.

“ Believe me, it's all cold my side, no steams at all. You tell me about your steamy insights. How's Mr. Lemonade on bed? ” and that's how I pull out my uno reverse card. She instantly flushes like a red rose.

“ Wild, I guess. ” she chuckles, “ And since you have asked. I think we are planning to have a child. I mean we're still thinking. You know it's a big decision. At first I thought having a child, it comes with a lot of responsibilities. And it might not be in Liam's plan yet. But he says everything about me is in his plan. ”

Oh heavens, am I hearing it right?

“ Josie Taylor Harrington, I am so bloody happy for you two. And I can't believe Mr. Lemonade, he is way too cute than I thought. You'll make the best parents ever. ” I hug her pinning her arms to her body.

“ I hope so. ” she manages to move her hands, and hug me back.

***

What time is it?

With my squinted eyes, I read it's quarter past one in the morning. I normally don't wake up from sleep in the middle of the night, but exceptions are there, just like right now.

Now I want ice cream.

Confession No. 39 - Midnight craving for ice cream is my favorite craving.

Rolling on the bed, I look around the room to find Hans working on his laptop while sitting on his work desk.

Laptop's screen lights washes over his charming face. Oh, this view is far more mesmerizing than any if England's most expensive hotel room. Light taping sound echoes in the room as he types something.

“ Still working Mr. Hans Workaholic Anderson? ” I slowly ask in my scratchy morning voice, that I find weirdly pleasant. He looks up at me with a little surprise, “ Um- I'm sorry. Did I disturb you? I'm almost done. ” he says folding down his laptop.

“ No, it's fine. I don't mind. ” I smile.

“ Do you need something? ” he asks as he walks over to sit beside me on the bed.

“ Yes, ice cream. ” I pass a greedy grin and he scoffs, “ No. ”

“ Please. ” I request.

“ No, it's very late. You should sleep now. ” he resents.

“ Hans, please. Just a little bit. ” I request more politely.

“ Noriana!” he tries to scare me with his eye glare. Oh, doesn't he know he's too cute to be terrifying.

“ Hans! ” I glare back.

“ Noriana...” and when someone says your name slowly followed by a sigh, means they're almost trapped. “ Just a little, alright? ”

“ Of course. ” I assure.

I will swallow the whole damn tub.

Sitting on the cabinet, I dip the spoon in the chocolate ice cream. While he takes the mango one. I feel good and giddy when he's around. I like myself a little more when I'm with him.

The only thing that doesn't feel right is the fact that this is temporary. Once I'll be completely fine, that is not too far, I will have to move out. And we will become strangers once again. I know I'm the one who told Hans that we should live our lives separately. Because I know, it is the right thing to do, even if I don't want it.

“ Where are you lost? ” he questions while trying to observe my face.

“ Just thinking of how much I will miss this. ” I speak with all my honesty.

“ You don't need to miss it. We have plenty of ice creams. ” he winks.

“ Then promise me you'll send it to my address everyday. ” I wrap a smile around my lips, ignoring my hurting heart.

“ Your address? Where are you going? ” I can see his relaxed face immediately turning into a tensed one, even though he tries to stay unaffected.

“ I mean, I will have to go eventually. I can't keep eating ice cream from your refrigerator forever. ” I stuff a big spoon of ice cream in my mouth. And he responds, “ This refrigerator, this house, this everything is yours as much as it is mine. ”

What?

“ Excuse me? ” I raise a brow.

“ You are my wife, remember? ” he winks and I cringe. I'm still very much mad at him over this topic. All this time while I thought I was a hot and sexy single chick, I was bloody hell married.

“ And you are a fraud, remember? ” I roll my eyes.

Placing his ice cream tub on the side cabinet, he makes his way towards me. Tucking my hair behind my ear, he rests his hand around my neck. Then moves it down to hold my hand, “ Noriana--”

“ Yes? ” I gulp.

“ What do you think of me? ” he rubs his thumb softly over my knuckles.

As the man I love the most in the world.

“ I don't know. ” I mumble and internally curse myself. Why didn't I say that I love him and I want to stay with him. That I want to live every second of my life with him only.

“ Okay. See, I won't force you for anything. If- If you want, we can get a divorce. And this time, I promise I will go for the annulment, if that's what you want. ” he takes a pause, more like gathers courage to speak further, “ Do you want a divorce? ”

Of course, not.

Nora, just say you don't want a divorce.

Say you love him.

That's it.

Easy peasy. Lemon squeezey.

Just say it and Bob's your uncle.

“ Um- I- I don't know. ” I speak.

What the hell, Nora? What is wrong with you? Why can't you just say it?

My inner self scolds.

“ Alright then. ” he steps backwards and I can feel the opportunity slipping right from my hand. If I can't say it today, I will never be able to speak again. And will just lose him...again.

No. I can't let that happen. Screw what will happen next, I'm just gonna say it.

Yes.

1...2...3... Shoot!

“ I- I-- ” before I could form a legit word, he cuts me off, “ Don't say anything. I know what to do. ”

Um, okay.

“ Pack your bags. ” he tells.

“ You're kicking me out! ” I choke on my breath.

❤❤❤

Hola, you human with such a beautiful smile ٩( ᐛ )و

❁ Is it just me or Nora is the biggest overthinker ever?

❁ Anyways, finally Nora's pov after three consecutive chapters in Hans' pov. That's why the chapter's a bit long. She had a lot of talking to do. Lol.

❁ What should be the name of Josie and Liam's kid ( if they ever have one, lol). Any suggestions?

The most bizzare things today will just be a memory tomorrow. You'll be much more happier than you think you deserve to be. Trust me.