❁ If only one could tell from someone's face what they've been through. The world would be a different place. ❁

" And that's how my birthday spent, in the fear of my parents getting divorced, and I will have to choose one of them, probably the worst nightmare of a kid. "

" People say they would've been seperated years ago, they are together just for me."

Ah almost every other family's story. No money, problem. A lot of money, problem.

But this girl did not have the childhood I had expected. I never knew about the things she had been through, when I met her. I thought she was a snob, who doesn't like to talk to everybody.

" Diary, I'm on non speaking terms with God, so you tell him that I will never talk to him ever again if he doesn't give my momma back, he can take away all my toys or anything he wants but he just can't take her away! Momma introduced him to me. "

" No Momma, No God! "

That's what made her lose her faith in God!

She was just thirteen when she lost her real mother. And here I thought she can't understand the pain of losing your parents. They say you can buy anything by money. Apparently, you can't bring back a person from death by money.

" It's not been a week since Momma's funeral and Daddy has already moved on, he literally brought a new wife. "

Everytime I asked her about her not-so-good relationship with her father, she always said he never gave her enough time. But the real reason was David's second marriage with Cara Williamson.

Jesus, I feel bad for her.

Flipping a few more pages, I read more. The part where she has mentioned about me. Bloody hell, I thought she hated me when we first met. But her diary is telling a whole counter story.

" Hans is the best person I've ever met. "

" Everytime I face him, my mouth goes shut and I can't help blushing."

" I'm still dreaming the same dream, of becoming a famous author, but now I want Hans to be by side when I'll receive The Booker Prize. "

" Hans is the only thing that motivates me to wake up every morning and get out of my bed. "

Bollock! I teased her by saying that she had a big crush on me, but I had never known she liked me this much. She was literally drooling for me since our first meet.

" Hello, I'm Noriana Anderson. I got married. Yayyyyyyy. "

Ahaha, my Silly Nerd.

" Hans is my lucky charm."

God, am I reading it correctly? She called me her lucky charm. I mean, the way she looks at me now, I can't even imagine her saying these sweet words to me. Noriana 2.0 actually hates me quite a lot. Although after reading all this, even a fool can tell that she really loved me, at least at that point of time.

But then what happened? Why did she leave me?

" I'm quite nervous. I don't know how to act like a wife. I mean, all the jobs a wife does. You know, Hans is a better cook than me. But I'll try to make breakfast today. "

Oh yeah, I remember. I remember that day. Fist day after our alliance, she was very awkward. She was blushing as if it was the first time we were meeting. And that breakfast, not going to lie, I've had better, but the way she was blushing and hoping for me to say something nice. Her adorable face made me want to tell her that she was the best cook on the planet.

Ahaha, now I laugh thinking about the tea she made that morning. But back then, it was almost impossible for me to swallow it while maintaining an impressed face.

And after telling her how much I loved the breakfast, I asked her to not bother to make breakfast for me. Apparently, making tea was not her cup of tea. Instead, I spoiled her with her bed coffee.

I can't believe I made her this happy. She really loved me. On every other page she has written about me. My eyes, my hair, my smile. She was literally crazy for me.

But then, what the bloody hell happened on the earth?

I turn a few more pages, my curiousness is reaching its peak with every word that I read.

" Hans is very good with kids. Actually he loves kids. And I'm sure as hell that even if I make a horrible mother, he'll be a wonderful father. "

Oh, of course. And that's why you took those abortion pills, huh?

" I went to the hospital alone. And here comes the real problem. There I got diagnosed with a brain tumor. It's something called Gangliocytomas. "

And the diary drops from my hand.

Wha- I mean- how's that possible? No, no, no, no. Noriana can't- I mean how?

Wait. The time when her nose started to bleed on the day of our new catalogue's shoot, and I took her to the hospital. And when I told her about my promise to myself to keep her alive and she said that I should not make promises I can't keep.

Oh. Oh. Oh my Gosh.

Her headaches, her eating disorders, her unstable blood pressure... How could I not understand it?

A-And she was alone when she got to know that she was pregnant with my child and about her tumor. I kept blaming her while she had abortion so that our child would not have to suffer.

And what did I do in return? She was right there crying, and I didn't hesitate before accusing her as the murderer of our child.

Lord, I'm a very very bad person.

She went through it all on her own. I wasn't there to hold her hand. I wasn't with her when she needed my love and support. Andrew was right. I was sympathizing myself over just my side of story. I never tried to know hers.

She was sick and I tortured her so much, yet she never revealed anything. All she said was that I don't deserve to know anything. And she was bitterly right. I don't deserve anything.

I ruined her life.

I have always blamed her for everything.

In the end of this entry, she has written she was coming over to talk to me. But she never came. I never saw her. We never had a conversation.

Honestly, I don't have the courage to read any further, but I have to. I need to know everything she's been through because of me.

If I deserve something, it's guilt.

" And I saw Rebecca White, his former girlfriend. Sitting on his lap. Kissing him, inappropriately. "

" And he wasn't stopping her. He wasn't freaking stopping her. "

Instead of guilt, shock takes over my head and heart. For what she has written in the last pages, it--

I-I-- can't handle it all anymore. I need to tell this to someone. Josie. With my head aching like a pressure cooker, I manage to reach Liam and Josie's home, as soon as I left Hans' house.

" Nora, hey. What a nice surpris-- Wait, you look tensed. Everything alright? " Josie opens the door and hugs me. She seems happy until she notices my swollen face, tear stains and my puffy eyes.

Confession No. 37 - I hate bothering people with problem in my life.

But this time, I need a therapist. Who could be better than my soul sister for that?

" Joe, I need to talk about something. " dragging her to the couch, I invade inside her home. " You remember my boss? Blond hair, tall fella. "

" Of course, I do. Wait, let me guess. He misbehaved with you, didn't he? " she jumps in fury while crushing the innocent cushion.

" What? No, no. " is all my mouth could form before she intervenes.

" I mean I knew you both liked each other. I saw you two on my wedding. Dancing and all. But I'll rip open his lungs if--" she grunts.

Oh no, no. Why is everyone cooking untrue stories on their own?

" Joe, he's my husband. "

" You married him and didn't tell me! " getting up on her feet, she shouts. Staring at me like I'm a turkey ham and she's going to cut me down.

" Joe, I- "

" Wait, did he force you to marry him? I swear to God, I'm-- "

Girl, give me a second to complete myself.

Grasping her arms, I shake her, " Josie Taylor, my so called boss, Hans Nicholas Anderson is the guy from Manchester. "

I had already told her about my past. Not much details. Just that, my husband married me for my fathers money. And then cheated on me.

She, who before was blabbing things without a single breath, now calms down as a sea. Shock is drawn all over her face. I can see she has hundreds of questions, but can't decide where to start.

" Wha- How? All this time you've been working under your ex-husband. And I didn't even notice. I mean I sensed there was something wrong but I could've never guessed that-- "

" Joe, Joe, it's okay. I just need you to hear me out. "

" Oh, okay, yeah. Sit. " she pats on the couch.

" I didn't tell you this before but I've been living with Hans from fortnight. I'll explain, don't scream. Our Landlady, Mrs. Doris, kicked me out after you moved with Liam-- " I take a breath and continue.

" --Hans got an opportunity to take advantage, and offered me to stay with him. Don't ask me why I agreed, because I don't know either. And just a few minutes ago I got to know that I'm still married to him. "

She looks super confused, " But you said you gave him divorce, right? "

" Yeah, I did sign those papers. But he never went for the annulment. " I explain. She slightly turns, closes her eyes and opens her mouth to process all the brand new information.

Without saying a word, she gets up on her feet, and walks into her bedroom. Leaving me in confusion. I thought she would scream, and maybe even kind of kill me for hiding all this.

But for next one minute I find no voice at all. Complete silence, that even my thoughts are echoing.

What is she upto?

After a wait for whole two minutes, I move towards her room. But before I could pass the doorframe, she ran towards me carrying a baseball bat and a drill machine.

" Joe, what are you doing? " I shout. I knew it. I knew she was going to kill me for hiding everything. " This is for that bastard from Manchester. Just give me his fucking address. " she grunts aggressively.

A relief reaches my heart as I hear these tools are not to murder me. " Okay, I get the baseball bat thing, but what's the drill machine for? " I ask innocently.

" To drill right through his small intestine, penetrating his large intestine as well. Then I will also blow off his urinary bladder like a balloon. And lastly to drill holes to hang his picture on the wall after his funeral. " she pulls the trigger twice while explaining the everything.

Sounds like a nice plan. But I know you're not serious.

" Give me his address. " she says.

" Joe, calm down. "

" I'm not gonna fucking calm down, Nora Williamson. Cheating on you was not enough that, that rogue came here to torture you. I know the phases you've been through, while he was celebrating luxury with your father's money. "

Damn, you're serious!

" Joe, just calm dow--" the door bell interrupts me. I think it's Liam. Oh heavens, thank you. Only Liam can control her now.

Leaving Joe, I run to open the door and my jaw drops like an apple from a tree, when I see the person standing there. " Oh Heavens! "

" Noriana, we need to tal- " before Hans could form a word any further, I closed the door shut more quickly than i opened. I've got to say, this man has got some serious timing issues.

" Who is it? " asks Josie.

" No one. "

" Noriana, please open the door. I need to talk to you. " this man can't keep his mouth shut for a second. " The accent. He's the guy from Manchester, isn't he? "

There's a reason why I call her a spy.

Wait. Why am I even trying to protect Hans? He made his own bed. It's his time to sleep in it. I open the door without beating around the bush.

Hans couldn't even set a foot inside the house when Joe yells, " You bastard! " Seeing a drill machine motioning towards him, Hans runs. Like a mouse running away from cat.

Josie chases him.

Meanwhile, I sit on the couch and watch the live Tom and Jerry. I'm Josie's best friend yet it's impossible for me to get away from her anger. Let the man be all sweated.

" Hey, hey, hey. What's happening? Noriana, stop her. " he grasps while Josie throws random stuff in his direction. " I could but I'm enjoying it all too well. " I repeat the same words that he had said to me when that Becky the Barky dog was carving for my flesh.

" What is her deal? "

" What's your deal damn it? Why do you keep bothering my friend? Can't you leave her alone? "

" I can't. "

" Of course, you can't. Because your fake masculine ego comes in between." she taunts and obviously, he finds it offensive. He stops right there and stands straight, letting her almost drill his kidney off.

" No. Because, I love her. " he announces.

My heart just stops right there. What did he just say?

" Hey, how could you? Someday you torment me and say you hate me. Then other day to tell me you love me! Is it really that easy for you just say those words. " I walk towards him and grab his collar while Josie gives me space by removing her drill machine.

" No. It is not. But when you really love someone you-- " I can see his lips moving but I can't focus on the words. All I can think is, why is he using the word love? It doesn't suit this beast. Joe could see that if I say even a single word further, I'll end up crying, so she takes the stand.

" Do you even know what love is? It's easy to love someone when they're happy. What's hard is to love someone when they're crying on the bathroom floor at 2am because everything came crashing down at once. You weren't there Mister but I was, and I know what she had been through. "

" Yeah, perhaps I don't know what love is, but I certainly know what hurt is. It took me a long time to evaluate who hurt whom. But now that I know, I can't waste a single second." he replies Joe while never breaking the eye contact with me.

My eyes widen and my jaw clenches, " Hans, I swear to God, I will kill you with my bare hands if you tell me you read my diary. "

" I did. "

" Josie, give me the drill machine! " I grunt.

" Hey, hey, listen to me. Please Listen to me. " He somehow manages to stop me. He moves closer to me cupping my face, and I immediately throw his hand away, " No, I don't need your kindness, compassion. "

" You don't but I do. Noriana, love, I- I want to you to come with me. I need to show you something. "

" She is not going anywhere with you. " Josie speaks from behind. She always tries to protect me like an older sister. I've never had a person to support me like she does.

" Josie Taylor, your furiousness is valid. But please, I've done a lot of mistakes and I need to correct them one by one. " taking her hand in his he emotionally blackmails her.

What does he want to show me?

" Why do I trust you? " she raises a brow like an FBI officer.

" I have nothing through which I could earn your trust. But I want you to know that Noriana is safe with me. Just give me 24 hours. This time I won't do anything to hurt her. " he asserts.

" Or else? " she asks.

" Or else it will me and your drill machine. " he replies.

" I'll go. " I declare.

❤❤❤

Hola, beautiful souls ٩( ᐛ )و

❁ Apologies. Apologies. Apologies. I'm so sorry I couldn't update last night.

❁ Also, what do you think Hans wants to show Nora?

I'm excited!

Eat good food. Pamper yourself. Have a blasting weekend. (❁'◡'❁)