A New Life

******

From ashes you come,

Unto ashes you return.

Whence forth shall you go after?

Mortal men do not know,

But fate shall guide you

Down the path where you wander.

Goodbye, my friend!

So long, fare thee well!

Pray we shall meet again.

No longer of the earth,

But in the skies we forever remain.

From dust you come,

Unto dust you go.

Whence forth shall I go after?

Perhaps to the ends of the earth,

Where I shall wait to be with you,

And then back again, or so I wander.

Goodbye, dear soul!

So long, fare thee well!

Pray we shall meet again,

No longer of the earth,

But in the skies we forever remain.

As I led the people to sing, Lady Anya lit up the stacks of wood with the torch in her hand. With a wave of her hand, the flames quickly devoured the corpses, all covered in white cloth and lined neatly in between the wooden planks. I watched as the white turned black, as the bodies turned into the ashes they had come from, and as the last body on the top was finally touched by fire.

I closed my eyes, feeling cool tears trickle down my cheeks. That last body was my mother's. My beautiful, brave mother, who had sacrificed so much for us--for me.

The real hero who had saved us all.

"I hope you find Father," I said softly, just as everything crumbled into ashes. From ashes you come, unto ashes you return.

A local priest started chanting the last prayer, a rite to ensure that all the lost souls would be escorted to Heaven safely. He was a shrinking, shrivelled man, all swallowed up by his white robes of mourning, to the point where there was more clothes than man. Once upon a time, he had power in Hamelin. That was until our Fountain had its magic drained away, and the people saw no more reason to believe in the saints anymore. He had been one of the few people who'd never disregarded me; sometimes, he allowed me sanctuary in hallowed grounds.

Then the prayer was done.

Wind whipped my hair around, biting into my cheeks, freezing my tears. The funeral was over. Now it was time to leave, to give the fallen ones some peace, to let their souls find their way towards Heaven. And yet as I stood directly in front of the monstrous structure, I couldn't go away. I already felt the town square growing less occupied, emptier. No doubt that some of the more pious would wait for me, their representative, to leave before leaving themselves.

Soft footfalls approached me. Lady Anya. She'd recovered nicely three days after the battle in this very town square, although there were still signs of stress pinching her expression. At least she had her leg tended to, and she was no longer walking with a limp. Meanwhile, I had the gash by my side stitched up the traditional way by Doctor Vannlich. It wasn't a very pleasant experience.

"Can you tell the people to go?" I said. "I - I just need to be alone for a while."

She nodded sympathetically at me. Then she turned towards the remaining crowd, jerking her chin towards the side. The effect was instantaneous. Without the heat of bodies pressing against each other, the place was chillier. The cold of the ground sank through the soles of my boots and into my bones. I wrapped my arms around myself, continuing to watch the dying embers flicker upon wood.

"It's your first time, isn't it?" Lady Anya suddenly asked after a few moments of complete silence.

I gave her a side-glance. She was staring at the structure, stoic as always. But there was a trace of softness beneath her steely eyes. "Excuse me?"

"Your first true encounter with Death."

"Oh...yes."

She placed a hand upon my shoulder, turning her head to cast me a serious look. "The pain will always remain there. Sometimes it doesn't seem to hurt so much, and sometimes it seems to claw you from inside out," she said. "But trust me when I say that time will make it better. Time can help you forget the pain."

"Forget? No, I don't want to forget." My hand strayed to the dagger strapped to my side. The dagger with the dragonhead pommel. My parents' dagger. The only thing I had left of them. "I've had enough of forgetting for a lifetime."

"I apologise. That was not what I meant at all. It's just...we Magi have such long lifespans, others' pass by us as though they were a mere fleeting moment. You'll get used to it--all of us do. What I really want to say is that time may not heal all wounds, but it can help lessen the pain. One day, you will be able to think of everything that had happened here as something to be treasured for a lifetime. You will remember the moments you'd spent with your mother, and not be hurt."

It hurt just to think of her now though. More tears streamed down my cheeks. "How is that possible?" I whispered. "It hurts so terribly. It's like--it's like I can't get out of the moment, watching her die over and over. I want to remember, and at the same time I don't..."

"Like what I said, the pain never truly goes away. But time makes the pain seem kinder, so when you look back into your past, you can remember without hurting so much," she replied, tone gentle, striking a soothing chord somewhere deep within me.

"I-" I looked way, back at the wooden structure, at the bodies piled atop it and at the ashes dancing with the wind. "I think I understand."

"I'm glad you do."

"Have you lost anyone dear to you?" I didn't know why I raised the question. I just felt like I had to.

"I have a proposal for you," she said, deflecting my question. Fair enough. I didn't really expect her to answer anyway.

"Yes?"

"I'd sifted through Lord Himmel's memories yesterday, and Maria had done an excellent job of fogging everything up. Unfortunately, now he's anything but delirious, and might as well be a child trapped within a man's body," she said. Her hand was still upon my shoulder, I'd noticed. I didn't shake it off. "Heidelberg still needs a leader. And well, with Lord Himmel's current state, he's not going to be able to help rebuild his city at any moment."

"Rebuild?" I whipped my head towards her with interest. "Why?"

"Most of his sorcerers had been brought here. Plenty of them died. Heidelberg now only stands intact because of its barrier." I now saw the weight she carried in her eyes, the shadow of worry that flickered across them. "I'd love to spare another Magus to take over his place, but with Lord Konrad and Lady Gertrude gone...Starkfurt may be just as vulnerable."

"And...?" I half-hoped and half-dreaded what she was going to say next.

Her lips curled into a dry smile. "You're young, but you're the best remaining candidate we have to fill up Lord Himmel's place. I shall return with you to Heidelberg, ensure that you're bound to the Fountain as its master before returning to Starkfurt myself."

I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to see if she was playing me for a fool. Her expression was dead serious. I couldn't decide if I should take that as a relieve or as a horror. "Why me?" I squawked stupidly.

"You're the only Magus left in Heidelberg. You know the province better than we do, and you were--are Lord Himmel's fiancée. The people know you. They'd accept you more willingly than if we'd randomly appointed one of our sorcerers as ruler of the city."

"So I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"Or the right place at the right time. Perhaps the saints had planned this all along, Klaudia. Granted, you will rule with an advisor from Starkfurt by your side until we deem you worthy enough to have truly earned the title, but well, Heidelberg is yours."

I didn't know what to make of this situation. The prospect was exciting and terrifying at the same time. Me, ruling over such a powerful province...it was an idea that rang an alien note in my head. "And Lord Himmel? Do I still have to marry him?" I asked.

"You don't have to if you wish not to. However, for courtesy's sake it may be best to get on with the engagement. Should be easier for the people to swallow the idea that he was the Pied Piper," she said practically.

I thought of Josef, of his frank, easy smiles and his ability to make me laugh. My heart ached at the thought of leaving him for another, even if it was for the sake of the country. And then again, I was a Magus...Was it better that it all turned out this way?

Maybe it was.

Another piece of my heart broke at the thought.

"All right. When do we set out?" I said, voice heavy.

"As soon as we can organise everything." Lady Anya sounded pleased that I had accepted the responsibility. I wasn't sure if the same could be said for me. "It will take time, no doubt, but we'll put Aschein back on its feet again, now that the real threat is gone."

The Pied Piper. He was the one who had started all this. And yet, thinking of him now, completely wiped of his memories, reduced to no more than a babbling fool, I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. I still didn't truly understand what fuelled his desire for power. His dead lover? His apparently oppressive father? Maybe I would never find out.

"I understand. Now if you'll excuse me, I should be going back," I said. Extricating her hand from my shoulder, I walked away. Away from the cooling warmth of the dying embers, away from Lady Anya, away from the absurdity of everything. Although I had accepted the proposal, I still needed some time to think about the future, about what it held for me.

"His name was Otto."

Lady Anya's words stopped me in my tracks. I turned around and looked at her. Her white robes gathered around her figure perfectly, making her seem taller and more elegant than usual, if that was possible. "I'm sorry?" I said.

"His name was Otto. I loved him, and he died thirty years ago. He wasn't a Magus, just an ordinary person. But he was remarkable anyway, and I still love him," she continued softly. "Our time together was short. However, it will be something that I'll remember for the rest of my life. To this date, I'm glad that I cherished every second we had together."

I nodded, understood. "I see," I said.

Then I walked away again, towards home, towards Papa Gunter, towards Josef. Lady Anya didn't say anything to stop me.

******

"Why do you wake me from my slumber?" Saint Bromilde boomed.

Her features were unchanged since the last time I saw her in person: full lips, high cheekbones, milky white slits for eyes, a constellation of stars forming her entire face. She still radiated power, but it was somehow dampened, as though the death of all the sorcerers who had received their Affinities from her had taken its toll.

"You're supposed to be awake at night, no?" I retorted. "Anyway, you know what I'm here for. The Seekers up there should have conveyed their message to you."

She didn't reply for a moment. "Hans failed me."

"You failed him."

We stared at each other.

"Not quite the best way to start off the bonding with me, hmm?" she said. But she sounded amused, so I took it as a point in my favour. "Unfortunately for me, I have no choice in the matter. Can't have Heidelberg falling into ruins like Erstürnach. All right. Stay still girl, and don't make a sound."

"What--"

"I said, don't make a sound!"

That was when something ripped my body apart.

It felt like lycanthropes were digging into my flesh. I gritted my teeth, letting Saint Bromilde's magic flow through me, as she reached into my Core and embedded a part of herself into it. So much power--so much, that it was almost unbearable. But at the same time, it was soothing, comforting, a sense of knowing that everything is as it should be.

The pain died away.

"So you have authority over these lands now. Happy?" Saint Bromilde's blank eyes bore into me. I didn't flinch or look away.

"Somewhat. I thank you, Your Grace."

"I'd appreciate it if you cut the sarcasm out, thank you. Won't do you any good to earn your patron's disapproval," she said. "So, now that you've achieved what you came for, can you please leave and allow me to wallow in my failures?"

I waited a few seconds before asking: "Why did you do it?"

I didn't have to elaborate much on the question; Saint Bromilde knew what I was referring to. "Why, you ask? I don't know...a lust for power, perhaps? The want to become something greater? To achieve more? I can't say." Her blank eyes continued to bore into me. "What matters now is that you help recover what we have lost. The other saints will not be pleased with what I have done, and we will face great trials in the future. However, know that I will always stand by your side."

"Dangerous words, for a trickster saint," I said.

She managed a wry smile. "Alas, the time for me to be a trickster has come to an end. We now forge ahead, Elise."

I still wasn't sure if I could entirely trust her, but she was right: we had to rely on each other to bring Heidelberg out of this crisis. I curtsied towards her as best as I could while floating in mid-air. "At your leave, Your Honour," I said.

She blew into my face. I felt my being drifted away, tumbling through darkness. I closed my eyes, enjoying the rush of magic surrounding me as I surfaced to the physical world.

Then all was quiet. The winter night had a crisp bite to it.

I opened my eyes to the world, ready to face whatever it threw at me.

******

Dawn creeped over the earth, lending subtle golds and reds to the melting silver of snow and receding ice that glittered under its touch. The gardens were alive this early in the morning, the scent of springtime in the air. I could hardly believe that it had been a year since I'd first arrived in Hamelin.

I was alone; only my thoughts kept me company. True to her word, Lady Anya had accompanied me to Heidelberg and helped to make sure that everything was in running order. The sorcerer from Starkfurt she'd appointed to be my advisor was a Persuader, a stocky man of medium height and bristling red hair whose words were much more pleasant than his looks. At any rate, he was a decent man, and he'd shown a healthy respect for me although I was at least three decades younger. I had a feeling that we would work well together.

Meanwhile, I was to be officially wed to Lord Himmel in a week's time. I'd visited him in his bedchambers every day, talking to him and studying him. He'd never showed signs of his old self, and although he knew how to dress and feed himself, he was really a child who hardly knew the difference from a flute and a hen. He had his muscle memory, but everything else was gone. I'd made sure to keep him away from any instruments, just in case.

This was one of the few moments where I could be with myself without anyone interrupting me or calling for my attention, asking me to solve this and that. This was one of the few moments where I could remember everything.

It had been two months since the incident in Hamelin. The pain of it hadn't washed away completely, but it was now easier to remember what had happened that night, just like what Lady Anya had said.

The weight of my new flute gently bumped into my sides. My old flute had been lost, most likely buried beneath all the snow in the outskirts of Hamelin. I'd cried for days, but Lady Anya had assured that it was best for me to destroy anything of mine that was connected to anywhere else besides Heidelberg. Besides, Josef had immediately crafted me a new instrument. The moment I'd received it, it felt like I was truly leaving my past behind, tying myself to this city.

Aimlessly, I unsheathed the dagger strapped to my belt. This was the one thing I still couldn't give up. In the end, Lady Anya had relented, letting me keep it since it wasn't exactly tied to anything in any way. Its perfectly polished blade gleamed at me like a wink, and I could see my face reflected on it: curly brown hair, mussed up by the wind; flushed cheeks, a result from the cold; and dark blue eyes, no longer haunted by the past, no longer afraid, staring steadily outwards.

First my father's dagger, then my mother's, now mine. An heirloom passed on down the family. The one thing I had left of them. Mother's violin had been utterly destroyed back in the town square, and even Josef couldn't salvage it.

"I was wondering where you were," came the Tinker's voice just as I thought of him.

I turned around, sheathing the dagger, a big smile on my face. He returned it. He really did resemble Papa Gunter. Now, the two could finally catch up on a decade's worth of long lost conversations, since Papa Gunter had decided to move to Heidelberg, along with us. They'd busied themselves by ducking into the workshops, poring over new projects. I didn't think I'd seen them more than five times ever since we'd came here, since our schedules were all so hectic.

"I could say the same for you," I replied.

"You always know where I am." His voice was low, husky, and it sent shivers running down my spine. He walked closer towards me. So close, that I could feel heat radiating off him. "So, married to Lord Himmel. Finally got what you came here for, eh?"

There was a mischievous note to his phrase, and I grinned. "I actually found something better."

"Did you really?"

We were under the shade of several tall fir trees, so I wasn't worried about anyone catching us here. And even if they did...well, I was a Magus. I tilted my head to one side, taking in every detail of his face. "I did," I said.

He laughed, and bent down to kiss me.

This wasn't like the kiss we'd shared in Hamelin's town square. That was desperate, fuelled by the knowledge that either one of us could die at any moment. This was slow, tentative, and I savoured it fully, in the way I never did the last time.

I couldn't say how long it took before we broke away. It could have been an eternity; it could have been a second. It didn't matter. What mattered was that he was here, strong and alive.

"What happens now?" He blinked, as if he had just realised what had transpired between us.

I rested my cheek on his chest, breathing in his scent-woody, eternal, with a tang of magic. "I don't know, but we'll take it one step at a time," I said.

"One step at a time," he echoed, before falling into silence.

One step at a time. There was much work ahead of all of us; rebuilding Aschein wasn't going to be an easy task. Monsters were still roaming the wastelands, and our sorcerers were still reeling from the battle in Hamelin. There were the children down there, barely alive; perhaps there was a way to save them, perhaps not. I was a Magus, but that didn't mean I was invulnerable. I still could fall; I still could cry. But it was all right. I had friends, a new family, and the support of the people. I could face anything in the future, knowing that my feet were solidly rooted onto the ground.

I was home.

******