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kenmas pov

"kenma?" y/ns soft-spoken voice rang through the empty room.

"hmm?"

"do you believe in reincarnation?" she asked, still looking out the window at the white sprinkles of snow that fell from the sky.

"I do..." I responded, looking up at her pretty (E/c) eyes. they were still so full of life and happiness... even when she was in the position of death.

"When I reincarnate, I'm gonna be badass! I'll learn the things I've always wanted to, I'll even learn how to ride a motorbike!" she said cheerfully, using hand motions to act everything out.

"and I hope... we'll meet again. whether it's a friend, lover or enemy. I wanna be a part of your life in one way or another"

she turned to look at me, tears welling up in her eyes as she gave me a big warm smile.

"I don't want you to reincarnate... I want you to stay who you are... alive and with me. I'll never love another person more than I love you..." I started, looking down at the 'game over' that was plastered on my screen.

"death is normal... you can't escape it no matter how much you try. I've been waiting for the day I died with anticipation... I can't wait to start over, maybe have a better life than I do now" she looked back at the window, placing her cold, veiny hand on mine.

"if you find me in the afterlife, forgive me for all the wrong I've done..." she spoke softly, averting her eyes to look at my flushed figure.

"don't cry anymore, it's not worth it. live the life you've always wanted"

"I don't even know if I've wanted to be alive" I muttered, placing the switch down before laying my head on the bed, looking up at the smiling girl.

"if the world went everyone's way, the human race would be extinct" she sighed, playing with my hair weakly.

"I'll be with you through life and death. don't worry" she muttered, slumping her head back on the wall with her chest rising and falling rapidly.

I saw from the corner of my eye that she was fiddling with the IV stand causing me to pull her hand away from it.

"stop fucking with your IV" I chuckled causing her to frown.

"it's itchyyyyyy" she complained, scratching her almost bleeding wrists. her skin was so fragile already.

hiro, tendou and suna went back to hiros place to make a plan for something. I didn't really wanna be involved and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her.

"who is kiyoomi to you?" I asked, tracing circles on her hand softly.

"an old friend. old roommate... we stopped talking after his mom died and I haven't spoken to or seen him ever since. I was his first... first kiss, first fuck, first hug, first everything" she giggled, looking down at me with a bright smile.

"do you have feelings for him?" I asked, a hint of jealousy in my voice.

"no, he's just a good person to me, the first person to make me feel like I'm worth something more than my body. he's a germaphobe and it took a lot to break that barrier of comfort from him," you explained, a taint bit of hurt circulated your voice as you took a deep breath, soon regretting it after getting a sharp pain in your chest.

"don't breathe too deep, it'll hurt... "

"I'm fine, it doesn't hurt. get some sleep..." she spoke, trying to control her breathing with a bright smile on her face.

"... dont say you're fine, why are you so happy?" I asked, tears welling up in my eyes making my breath hitch.

"because your here with me... I've done everything I've wanted in this life...except for one thing" she explained, looking to the roof in thought.

"what's that?"

"I didn't have a kid with the person I love the most... which is you," she told, tears rolling down her cheeks in a frustrated manner.

"you wanted to have a kid with me?"

"mhm, I wanted us to be together for the rest of our lives, have a kid together. if it was a boy, I was thinking Kakeru"

"and if it was a girl?"

"I was gonna let you decide that" she smiled down at me, wiping the tears on her cheeks away.

"I would name her y/n..." I looked up at her bright eyes that were looking at me with the warmest smile.

(DONT NAME YOUR KID AFTER YOUR EX. MY DAD DID THAT TO ME FOR HIS DEAD EX-GIRLFRIEND. I'M DEAD)

"I love you... so much" her voice cracked as she started to cry more. I pulled her into a hug, crying softly into her shoulder, feeling her shaking body underneath me.

"I love you too... I'm sorry" I spoke, sniffling as she stared lifelessly at the wall behind me.

"don't be sorry," she said, rubbing circles on my back softly,

••••

the next morning, I woke up to the sudden movement from underneath me once again, looking up I saw y/n adjusting herself slowly so she wouldn't wake me.

"I'm sorry! I woke you up again!" she panicked, a sorry smile on her face as she giggled.

"don't panic, it's fine... what's the time?"

"it's 8 in the morning. I got told kiyoomi is gonna come by himself" she smiled down at me as I lift my head from her lap softly.

"do I have to leave then?" I asked, cocking a brow at the girl.

"The doctors will probably tell you to. in the meantime, just get some more rest and get some food. you didn't get to eat yesterday..."

"I'll leave when he gets here" I smiled at her as she nodded in response, laying my head back down on her lap with a comfortable smile.

----

"miss, kiyoomi is here to see you" a nurse walked in, alarming kenma who shot straight up.

"oh... tell him I'll be ready in a minute" y/n spoke before the doctor gave her a nod in response.

"Should I go now?" I asked her, grabbing my phone and switch from the end of the bed.

"probably... he's not a big fan of people and hospitals."

"Alright then... have fun, ill see you soon. I love you" I gave her a peck on the lips, grabbing my bag as she waved me goodbye.

I opened the door, turning the corner to see a curly-haired guy, looking down at his phone, his leg over the other with his chest rising and falling at rapid speeds.

"are you kiyoomi?" I asked, looking down at the man who looked back up at me with furrowed brows.

"I am, you must be kenma, y/ns boyfriend" he spoke monotonously, standing up making me have to look up slightly.

"I am, nice to meet you. shes talked about you a lot"

"that's nice to hear. is she ready now?"

"she is, have fun." I started to walk away, picking at the callouses on my hand as my hand started to shake.

this feeling of jealousy always overwhelmed me, it hurt my soul and my pride so much.

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