in a way that's more lethal than all the potions you've made.

you've infected my mind - pinpricking my psyche the moment i buried you.

nails digging through the soft dirt and grasping onto the coat tails of whatever sanity i had left.

which wasn't much, but you've always been meticulous- searching for what wouldn't - and shouldn't - be found.

my own pest of an archeologist.

where'd you go, diana?

you've been vacant.

the castle oddly feeling more haunted with the absence of your ghost.

i've wondered about telling you.

why i did it.

would it matter? it wouldn't make a difference. you're dead.

i killed you.

no rewriting that hiccup.

not that i would. it was necessary, that i'm sure you understand.

you've known my endgame since the beginning.

it's not my fault you didn't run fast enough.

i sigh, rolling my shoulders as i get back to my room.

i fucked eleanor.

she was a pass time at this point.

i was bored and you're dead.

can you blame me? besides, she was easy. a body to fall back into. old times sake, she said. to make you feel better.

it didn't.

i couldn't get you out of my fucking head while i fucked her.

lighting a cigarette, i see you from my window - lurking by the pile of dirt, expression solemn. critiquing it as if it was some abstract expressionist display you had no approach at understanding.

no doubt you were reflecting on the patch of earth where you took your last breath.

how sweet it had been.

you'd sounded so beautiful, then.

i hope you know that.

that breathlessness of surprise, confusion, fear... and something else i hadn't been able to place.

it was an addictive sound and i wish i could relive that moment for eternity.

merlin, the way you had said my name.

your eyes turn toward my window and i flinch at your intensity.

i blink and you're beside me.

tell me.

tell you what?

your eyes are wide, lustful even, a hunger to tame your curiosity and i frown at the realization.

my hand reaches up, hesitates. but you lean into me - like you always had.

it feels as if i'd been plunged into black iced water but i don't pull away.

closer.

my finger twirls the wisps of your hair.

you don't remember, do you?

i do, but not in the way that you know.

closer.

meaning?

i just remember the feeling.

pain?

no, not that type of feeling... lost, but then—

my breath fans against your lips, what?

relief.